Chapter 20
Crystal saw me and smiled. It wasn’t a warm or friendly smile. It was one of those smarmy smiles you can only see on the face of a siren. It was a smile that couldn’t mask the hatred she felt for me.
Not that I could blame her for hating me. I had snatched a lot of shiny shiny treasures from her in the past couple of years. But was it my fault she hired humans to retrieve sunken treasure, a job that was clearly designed for a mermaid.
“I heard you were playing cops and robbers,” I said as Crystal approached me.
“There are a lot of rogue supernaturals in this city,” Crystal said. “Somebody has to bring them to justice.”
“How’s your treasure room these days? As empty as ever?”
Crystal glared at me. If looks could kill, I think it’s safe to say that I would be dead. Several times over. She’s not a big person, but then most sirens aren’t. Crystal was just a couple of inches over five feet. Even with the two inches heels she was wearing, she was still a good five inches shorter than me.
That’s another misconception, that mermaids are little. We’re not. I’m five nine in my bare feet and I’m short for a mermaid. Savanna’s a couple of inches taller than me and she’s about average.
Crystal was wearing a white linen pantsuit, an expensive white linen pantsuit. A sharp contrast to my jeans and tee shirt. Her blue silk blouse was the same pale blue as her eyes. She wore her long blond hair straight and pinned it behind her ears with a headband that made her look younger than she was, like one thousand years younger. The headband was silver inlaid with mother-of-pearl.
She was always projecting the same image, I’m sweet and innocent and rich. I don’t know if human women bought her act, but human men sure did, John certainly did. And from the enamored look on his face, it was pretty clear that Walter Francis, excuse me, Captain Walter Francis, bought it. He would learn the hard way, just like John did, that you can’t judge a siren by her perky facade.
“I see your deranged elf has hurt another one of my men,” Walt said to me.
The best way to describe Walt was average. Average in size. Average in build. Average in looks. Average in intelligence. The most noticeable thing about him was his thick black hair, which he wore short. The reason I noticed it was because it used to be salt and pepper in color. Somewhere along the way, he dyed it in an attempt to make himself look younger than his fifty some years. My guess was that happened after he met Crystal.
“The two men she hurt yesterday aren’t in your department,” I said. “And Stringbean kind of brought this on himself.”
“How do you figure that?”
“He tried to stun an elf that has the power to control electricity. Among other things.” I nodded at Frat Boy. “If your expert here really was an expert, he would’ve passed that information on to his partner.”
“No two elves have the same gifts,” Frat Boy said in his defense. “How was I supposed to know she could control electricity. The only thing we’d seen her do was toss fireballs.”
“Even so,” Walt said. “You were hired because of your supposed expertise.”
“It’s not his fault,” Stringbean said. “I should’ve known better than to use electricity on an elf. Especially one that can control energy like she can.”
Stringbean was awake and sitting on a chair, having his hands bandaged by one of the paramedics.
“Looks like you’re going to be out of commission for awhile,” Walt said to him.
“Just because I can’t fire a gun doesn’t mean I can’t work,” Stringbean said.
“Even so, I think I’m going to add Crystal to your team. If she can’t bring this elf down, nobody can.”
“I appreciate the vote of confidence, Walt,” Crystal said. “But elves are extremely powerful. First off, they’ve been around a long time. They were here long before humans walked the earth. And when I say they, I mean the elf we’re chasing.”
“As the head of the supernatural division, shouldn’t you know that?” I said to Walt.
“One thing I don’t miss,” Walt said. “Is that smart mouth of yours.”
“At least with me, what you see is what you get.” I glanced at Crystal. “Unlike some sirens I know.”
“I’m just trying to be a good citizen,” Crystal said. “Show the world that not all supernaturals are self-centered ego manics.”
I ignored Crystal’s comment and focused on Walt. “Do you know that when my boyfriend dumped her one thousand year old ass, she gave his name to some bogeymen, even suggested that if they were to take him hostage, they could use him as leverage against me.”
Walt held up a hand. “The department doesn’t involve itself in the affairs of supernaturals. You know that, Low.”
“Thing is, my boyfriend isn’t a supernatural. He’s human.”
“Really,” a surprised Walt said. He looked at Crystal, curious to see what she had to say.
“We were engaged to be married,” Crystal said. “The next thing I know, the mermaid is sticking her nose into our private affairs and John’s calling off the engagement. You can’t blame me for not thinking rationally.”
“She was thinking rationally,” I countered. “She was thinking about what she could do to ruin my life.”
“It’s clear the two of you have issues. And to be frank, I don’t want to hear about them.” Walt focused on Crystal. “I want you to work with these two officers. I expect the three of you to stop that crazy elf from hurting anybody else. I don’t care how you do it, just stop her.” He turned to me. “And you keep out of their way.”
Walt turned and walked out of the restaurant, leaving the rest of us behind. As soon as he was out the door, I confronted Crystal. “What are you up to with this good citizen crap?”
“Rumor is you’re trying to save the elf.”
“So?”
Crystal grinned, an evil grin if I ever saw one. “So, I can’t help but think how it would ruin your day if she were to wind up dead.”
“You’d kill an innocent elf just to ruin my day?”
“This elf is far from innocent. She’s already injured three police officers. She could’ve just as easily killed them.”
“Trust me, if she wanted to kill them, they’d be dead. She’s just working through some issues.”
“I didn’t know elves had issues.”
“I brought her here to help an old friend, someone she felt responsible for. She’s still trying to come to grips with the fact that things didn’t work out the way she hoped they would.”
“You brought her here?” Crystal said. She nodded at Stringbean and his bandaged hands. “So you’re responsible for this.”
“Nobody’s responsible for what happens to me but me,” Stringbean said. He looked at me. “I don’t suppose you can tell us where she went?”
I shook my head. “Haven’t a clue, but then how hard can it be to find a naked fireball throwing elf.”
“Finding her isn’t the problem,” Frat Boy said. “Bringing her into custody, that’s the hard part.”
“You don’t have to bring her into custody,” Crystal said. “She’s a rogue supernatural, you can just put her down.”
“The law does give you permission to put rogue supernaturals down,” I said. “But elves aren’t supernaturals. They’re immortals, and they were here long before humans or supernaturals came onto the scene. Whether the law gives you permission to put an elf down without a trial has yet to be determined.”
That was because no elf had gone rogue since the discovery of electricity, perhaps since the invention of the wheel. But then I hadn’t been around to drag one of them into my world.
“These officers have a right to defend themselves,” Crystal said. “If she starts tossing fireballs at them, they can put her down.”
“She’s right about that,” Stringbean said. “We do have the right to defend ourselves, and I’m pretty sure that shooting a fireball throwing elf wouldn’t be considered an excessi
ve use of force.”
I nodded at Stringbean’s bandaged hands. “Looks to me like you won’t be shooting anybody for awhile.”
“Maybe I can’t shoot anybody, but my partner can.”
“I’ve never shot anything but a target,” Frat Boy said.
“First time for everything,” Stringbean said.
“I’m thinking we should take the mermaid into custody,” Crystal said.
“We can’t arrest Low,” Stringbean said. “She hasn’t broken any laws.”
“I’m not talking about arresting her. I’m just saying we should take her into protective custody. From what I’ve heard, she is the one the elf is after.”
“You’re saying we should use her as bait,” Stringbean said.
I glared at Crystal. “And I’m thinking I should boil the water that makes up sixty percent of your body.”
“You boys might want to cover your ears,” Crystal said. “I feel a song coming on.”
Stringbean rose to his feet and stepped between us, then he held up his bandaged hands, pointing one palm at me, one at Crystal. “It’s pretty clear you two don’t like each other, so I don’t think taking Low into custody is a good idea. Plus, we can’t take someone into protective custody without their consent.”
I looked at Crystal. “If you had gone to the police academy like the rest of us, you’d know that.”
“This isn’t the first time I’ve been involved in law enforcement,” Crystal said.
“Let me guess,” I said. “You were the Roman soldier that pierced Christ in the side when he was hanging on the cross. Or maybe you were the judge that sentenced Cain to walk the earth after he killed Able.”
Was I making fun of Crystal’s age? Hell, yeah. I was always making fun of her age, although in truth, I had no idea how old she was. I knew she was older than me, but I didn’t know how much older. Several hundred years at least. I liked to make fun of her age because she was always trying to project this image of a sweet, young, innocent ingénue, three things she most assuredly wasn’t.
“The only one that’s been around that long is that crazy elf you turned loose on the city,” Crystal shot back.
“Which is why you can’t bring her back from the dark side,” Frat Boy added. “When you’ve been around that long and you cross over, there’s no coming back.”
“Maybe Crystal can help her come back,” I said. “If there’s anybody that knows their way around the dark side it’s Crystal here. She’s spent her long long life on that side of the fence. Haven’t you granny.”
“I really am in the mood to sing,” Crystal said. “Let’s see if I can’t compel a mermaid to drowned herself in a toilet bowl. It would be a fitting end for the supernatural communities version of a piece of crap.”
“And I’m in the mood to see how far I can throw a siren.” I moved toward Crystal while balling my hands into fists. “Let’s see what good that voice does you when you’re one hundred feet in the air, with no net beneath you.”
“I’m thinking that it’s time for one of you to leave,” Stringbean said. He was still between us, like a referee separating two prize fighters. He looked at Crystal, then he looked at me. “Since Crystal’s been assigned to work with us, you’re the one that’ll have to leave.”
“Fine with me. Crystal’s perfume was beginning to get to me anyway.” I leaned around Stringbean, so I could look Crystal in the eyes. “What is that you’re wearing granny? Ode of Ben Gay?”
“Wow,” Frat Boy said. “You two really don’t like each other.”
“That’s because she’s evil,” we said in unison.
“I’m evil?” Crystal said, pointing at herself. “I’m not the one that’s been stealing other people’s treasures.”
“Those treasures were sitting at the bottom of the ocean,” I shot back. “They belonged to whoever got to them first. Is it my fault that you don’t know how to swim?”
“Maybe I’m not a great swimmer,” Crystal said, “but I do know how to sing. As you’re about to find out.”
Stringbean draped an arm around my shoulders and steered me toward the door. “Why don’t I walk you out.”
When we were outside, I turned to him and said, “You need to be careful around her. She’d betray her mother if it got her what she wanted.”
“What does she want?”
“She wants to hurt me.”
“Because you grabbed some sunken treasure before she could?”
“More like half a dozen sunken treasures. Actually, I think it was eight. She spent a lot of money looking for those treasures and has nothing to show for it. Not surprisingly, she blames me.”
“Why would she need those treasures? From what I hear she’s already rich.”
How did you explain to a human that wasn’t affected by shiny things the way we were that finding a sunken treasure wasn’t about money, wasn’t about getting rich. It was about having something shiny to look at, something that sparkled and glittered and made you feel good all over.
“Finding a treasure isn’t about money,” I said. “It’s about . . . other things, things a human wouldn’t understand.”
“Sounds like you’re the one that needs to be careful around her,” Stringbean said.
“True, but you still shouldn’t trust her. If it gets her what she wants, she’ll get you and your partner killed and won’t lose any sleep over it.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Stringbean said.
He turned and headed back inside, leaving me alone in the parking lot with my thoughts. Crystal sticking her snooty little nose into this was not a good thing. I was having enough trouble dealing with Gladrielle. The last thing I need was to be looking over my shoulder for that devious little siren.
Maybe I needed to get out of town. If Gladrielle was as bent on killing me as she claimed, then she would follow me out of town, which would put her out of Frat Boy’s jurisdiction, out of Stringbean’s jurisdiction, and best of all, out of Crystal’s jurisdiction. Not that Crystal actually had a jurisdiction. She wasn’t even a cop.
But how did you get an elf that didn’t even have clothes, let alone a car, to follow you out of town?