CHAPTER 68
When Billy found his American battalion, they came with a surprise: his wife! Princess didn't fly here alone. She flew with five thousand super-quads outfitted in world-class armor suits.
Princess hugged him before he even landed, sending them tumbling on the grassy steppe. Fortunately they landed in some bushes where they kissed for the first time in almost a year. Afterwards she showed him new images of their firstborn, Elizabeth, and now their son, Harry.
"He's just like you," Princess claimed, "except with my dark hair, eyes, and skin."
"Yet he's just like me? What, he's small and skinny?" Billy joked.
"No, because he's demanding, cries a lot, and tries to pee on me," Prince answered.
"Brother," Billy replied, "I don't care how much you look like my beautiful wife, I’m not having sex with you. Anymore."
Prince must have had a good year since he didn't get all prickly on him. Since Kiev, he, Mali, and a few others had been dueling across the Empire to build up their flame. Prince made himself a fortune.
"You're lucky fatherhood has mellowed me. I have a few dozen kids, and many more on the way. Dear sister has them milk me like a cow."
"And me like an elephant," Bear boasted. "Those magnificent wands you gave me have somehow overcome my great looks, charismatic personality, and elephantine penis. I don't have as many babies as Prince Charming here but, then again, I don't have his inferiority complex. And don't get me started on Tiny," he said, gesturing to the huge American Indian. "We're saving the biggest ladies for him because this world doesn't have enough giants."
"Both of our boys look exactly like you," a radiant Blade pointed out, showing images of their sons. "Because of the imperial guard attack in Venice, we sent the babies to relatives for safety. My family in Switzerland is taking back our kingdom. Your son may someday become king.”
Billy would spend the day watching proud mothers show him videos of his beautiful babies. He had not been this happy since his mother died. He didn’t know he even could be happy since his mother died.
"You look different without all the pent-up anger," Billy told Blade.
"Better or worse?" Blade demanded, an edge to her voice.
"Oh, better. Much better. Did you want to give our sons a little sister?"
"I didn't fly several thousand clicks to hear your jokes," she said with a smile.
Billy turned to Prince. "Struck out again?"
"Unlike you, I’m not into lesbians.”
“Yes, I turned him down,” Blade confirmed. “I still prefer women, so Princess still gets all she wants. And then some.”
For reasons he had not yet cleared up, it bothered Billy that his wife -- that’s how he saw her -- slept with other women. A lot.
"Feeling left out, Grandma?" Billy joked.
“A woman with my passion would break you little men like a sucked wand. Tiny, however," she said looking up at him, "doesn’t look too fragile."
Tiny, to his credit, didn't bat an eye. "Just don't uncork this wine unless you’ll finish the bottle."
Pleasantries over, they gleefully recounted how they flew rings around the Great Khan, and how he returned home rather than ravage Europe. Billy blanched when they told him of a million dead when Genghis sacked Krakow. The super-quads harassed him all the way home, until they found Americans about to run into one hundred thousand Mongols.
"Alright, Red," Prince interrupted. "How did you lose a million Asian quads? And how did you get them in the first place? They’d have been handy right now."
"Same way you lost yours -- they took their money and went home. But now powerful neighbors surround the Empire. I hope they keep Genghis busy.”
"You're not gonna lead their defense?"
"I prefer offense. Waiting for half a million fliers to attack doesn't appeal to me."
"But we're still gonna kill Mongols, right?" Prince needed to know. He still thirsted to avenge his parents.
"As many as we can, as fast as we can, for as long as we can," Billy answered. "All we did these last few years was drain the swamp. Now we have to turn it into desert.
“Genghis will probably fly to China along the Silk Road, bringing only the quads with the greatest endurance. After they pass by, I'd love to bomb his follow-up forces. The Tian Shan Mountains would be perfect for ambushes if we can find some bombs."
"After Kiev,” Grandma said, “we sent trainers, wands, and gold to rebels in India. Maybe we can find help there.”
Billy started laughing. He told them what happened at the Bering Strait. “I wonder how many Indians reached India. It seemed every Mongol unit wanted to punish the traitors.”
Later that night, Billy took Grandma aside into a grove for privacy.
“How’s the other Baron?”
Grandma smiled. “I’ve never seen him happier. I didn’t think he could be happy after losing his third family, but the ladies drained him at every opportunity, not knowing he was not the real Baron. He likes the idea of having more children than even the Mongols can kill. Does it bother you that he has impregnated hundreds of your women?”
Billy swayed in the wind, blinking hard to get the images out of his head. “I had not thought of that. All those mothers will think I’m the father of their children. I may never know which kids are really mine.”
It surprised Grandma how much she enjoyed his discomfort. “How does it feel to be a cuckold a thousand times over?”
Billy shook himself awake. He couldn’t afford to let himself show his vulnerabilities, so he showed her the new Millennial Wands.
“I took these from a dying Mongol.”
She stared at them like a ghost, turning them over in a weird trance. It was the only time Billy ever saw her unguarded. Several conflicting emotions crossed her face.
“Were these your father’s?” he asked gently.
Shocked, she looked up a little scared. “But how could you possibly know that?”
“Kublai asked me to give these Millennials to his daughter, who was a better general than her father. Said she earned them. It took me this long to figure out who she was. And you can have them, too. But first, I want to know why the great-granddaughter of Genghis Khan has fought the Empire for two centuries.”
Grandma looked around to make sure they were alone. “When I shot flame from my boot wands at five years old, Kublai had my mother take me and flee. He had so many illegitimate daughters nobody ever missed me.”
“Who knows you can use your boot wands for something other than flight?” Billy asked.
“Still living? Only Jack and the son who impersonates you.”
“You can have your father’s wands, but you must show me your true power.”
“What do you mean?” she asked angrily. She didn’t like being challenged.
“I think you hold back. You project ten meter long flames, but your blasts are as powerful as the twins.”
They held a staring contest, but he was right, so he won. Smiling sheepishly, she blew flame thirteen meters from the new Millennial Wands and he jumped up and down like a kid.
“Now show me your face,” she demanded.
Billy reluctantly took off his mask, hoping no one could record it in the darkness.
"I knew it! You're just a damn kid with deadly wands!”
“No one would follow me if they knew my true age,” he pointed out. “Hey, can you scream like me?”
The prospect startled her. “Why?” Billy smiled as an idea developed. “Red, stop smiling. You’re scaring me.”
“If you can scream like me, then I’ll plan something special for the Olympics.”
“Are you gonna kill Genghis Khan? And don’t you dare lie to me.”
Billy chuckled. “Oh, Grandma. We’re gonna kill them all.”
“You swear?”
“I swear on my life.”