CHAPTER 76
Team Red took the remaining munitions carried by the wagon train and used them on the huge number of two-wanders waiting to bomb the Indians.
Some of their bombs struck enemy bombs and the fireworks blinded the eye and deafened the ear. The shrapnel not only shredded bodies, but sent gold coins everywhere. They now had to chase down the two-wanders who could not possibly dogfight them. Good thing they had great endurance, because that’s how they spent the next week, while Indians from the wagon train searched the enemy camp for coins in the mud.
This campaign over, Billy called another leadership meeting. “We should escort the wagons to Delhi so nobody steals them. But then what? Tonight, I want everyone to think about how we can defeat the Mongol Empire and tomorrow we’ll discuss our options. But you should all know that I could use a break. I have a woman to marry and babies to kiss.”
“You already know what to do,” Grandma insisted. “I can see it in your devious eyes. Why not just tell us now?”
“Because I want to see if anyone can come up with a better idea, because mine is pretty crazy.”
Red’s proposal spoiled their celebration. They just beat four hundred thousand Mongols, but they didn’t feel like they did. They reduced the Mongol Empire to just Mongolia and northern China. In just a few years they re-wrote the world map. Now what?
The following morning they voiced their opinions. Billy laid out the consensus:
“It seems we agree that the best duelers should continue dominating Mongol arenas to get rid of their best quads. Some of you want to form specialized hit squads and go after their super-quads, Imperial Guards, and government officials. Others want to help the Indians and Africans crack the Mongol resistance. I agree that we should field more marathoners in Siberia to raid Mongolia and bleed their treasury. And most of you want to see your families and spend your new wealth. I approve of it all.
“But I haven’t heard a way to defeat the Mongol Empire, so let me know what you think of my idea.
“Most quads are tired of fighting. They want to rest, enjoy their families, and spend their treasure. So we must give them time to do that. Late at night, when their lack of fresh wand juice gives them the shakes, they will contrast the wild times they had with us with their boring, peaceful routine. But they will need a compelling reason to leave their families to risk their lives again.
“So we need a powerful catalyst to bring them to the same place at the same time. They don’t need money or fame or better wands, and the Mongols will no longer look like a lethal threat to their lives, families, and kingdoms. So how do we motivate them to fly across the world and finally finish off the Empire?”
Billy studied their faces and could tell no one had any idea how to end this war. His father did. Dad explained how in Peking when Billy was just eight years old.
“I got nothing, bro,” Prince said to break up the long silence.
Billy gave it up like a virgin. “I’m gonna challenge Genghis Khan to a duel at the next Olympics.”
The group exploded. They turned to each other and screamed into faces screaming back at them. They blasted the skies, flew dances, and burst into song. Prince levitated Billy onto Tiny who carried him around like a sports champion. After basically ending a world war, they didn’t feel like celebrating. Now they couldn’t do anything but celebrate. The Indians heard the news and reminded them that the Mongols left barrels of wine with all that gold. Although already in motion, the need to party stopped the caravan and thousands of quads drank themselves silly.
Billy had never felt more vulnerable.
“You’re a genius!” Prince, of all people, yelled at him over the shouting.
“There’s no such thing as genius,” Billy yelled back.
“Well, as a genius,” Bear quipped, “you should know.”
Mali found him later: “I’m leaving now.”
“But I haven’t even met our kids.” He patted the big belly on her thin frame. “Can’t you wait until the baby is born?”
“No, but you can always visit me. I’d have returned a year ago if it wasn’t for you. I wanted to thank you for all that you have taught me.”
“But you were a pretty good quad when we met.”
“Not dueling. Tactics. I was too obsessed with fighting to even think about how to lead warriors in battle. You make it look so easy, but never once did I think of a solution before you.”
He gave her a hug for the first time.
“We’ll probably never meet again, so can I see your face? I promise not to record it.”
Billy sighed. They went into a tent and he flashed his baby face.
“But you’re so good looking!” Mali squealed, undressing him for one last bedding. “I thought you’d be hideous.”
It was the first time Mali ever made anyone laugh. Even her babies looked at her like, really?
The next morning, Billy finished the speech he tried to give the day before:
“How many of you assumed you’d die fighting a war we could not win?” Billy hovered above them, his amplified voice reaching thousands of people below him. “I have a proposal. If I can convince you today that we’ll win this war and end the Mongol Empire forever, then you must agree to follow me until we’ve won. If I haven’t convinced you, then I release you from any obligation to follow my command. Agreed?” They roared up at him like wolves at a full moon. Billy struck a pose and bellowed angrily as if he couldn’t hear them. “Do we have a deal?”
There were only four thousand of them, but they sounded like so many more. Satisfied that he gripped their balls in his fist, Billy satisfied their lust.
“Genghis has hosted the Olympics every four years for three centuries. We have two and a half years before the next one. I will make a video asking for marathoners to join me in Anchorage, Alaska, three months before the Olympics. The best will receive free world-class body armor. Every other quad in the world will go to Peking just to see us duel. Grandma, I need you to organize the marathoners. Work them as if their lives depend on it and we’ll have the largest long-distance force in history.”
Oh, he had them now. He could feel their excitement. He just gave the world their next obsession.
“Why wait for the Olympics?” Blade asked. “Why not kill the Khan now?”
“We need the Khan to scare the new kingdoms into setting up their new governments quickly. Without a credible external threat, rival factions will fight for power instead of figure out how to share power.
“The smart move is for Genghis to spend the next two years building up his strength. Which gives Europe, Persia, India, China, and Korea time to sort out their own affairs, but with a deadline. If Genghis prevails, then they need to be strong enough to survive without the Baron. I hope this will give them a sense of urgency to get their acts together.
“We also need a way to identify Mongols willing to kill for their Empire. Those of Mongolian ancestry who want to stay out of the war need only leave Mongolia, Manchuria, the Stans, Siberia, and Northern China. Anyone who stays is an enemy.”
“Every anti-Mongol marathoner in the world will join us!” Bear predicted. “You could have a quarter-million marathoners.”
“Millions more will go see you duel him!” Princess added. “Foreigners will swamp Peking. Everyone with a grudge will go kill Mongols before they become extinct. You’ll have millions of warriors that you don’t have to feed, house, or pay.”
“What else are you thinking behind those devious blue eyes?” Grandma demanded.
Billy smiled as if she complimented him. “I plan on offering northern China as the stakes. If Genghis wins, he gets to keep northern China. If I win, the government in southern China gets to govern China’s historical territory.”
“Every Chinese will see this as a fight for their homeland!” Prince predicted. “Nothing could motivate them more. Even the women and children will come armed. You are br
illiant!”
“American University will continue training quads. With this epic duel to help recruitment, we could have half a million Americans attacking Mongolia.
“Having so many Americans and Chinese will make it easier to persuade neighbors to join the Last Battle of the War. Imagine millions of Europeans, Persians, and Arabs attacking from the west, Americans from the north, Chinese and Indians from the south, and the rest of Asia from the east.”
As usual, Grandma was a step ahead of the others: “Red, you’re using a duel as the foundation to build an unstoppable coalition! Millions of quads, coming from every direction, could exterminate the Mongol Empire permanently. We could actually win this thing!”
Grandma sounded surprised.
Thousands of tough veterans cheered while hundreds more sobbed. Until this moment, most of them never expected to win. Then the damn hugging started as the prospect of finally fulfilling their vows to dead loved ones appeared within reach. They were gonna end a brutal world war that ruined lives for over three hundred years.
Billy rose higher to emphasize something: “I want everyone here to transfer every relevant video to document your personal war story. I want future generations to see how devastating war can be, and what heroes can do to stop it. And that’s what you are: heroes. You risked your lives to save people who haven’t even been born. You beat the world’s most powerful, most oppressive, more brutal military. Leave me your videos before you leave here. I’m gonna name this collection, The Baron’s Heroes. I hope to make you all so famous that you’ll never have to buy your own drinks ever again.”
That seemed to humble them.
“I can’t go two years without killing Mongols,” Bear complained once the cheering subsided. “Ever since they slaughtered my babies, I feel guilty unless I’m avenging them.”
Billy held out his hands to calm them down. “I’m giving you a vacation, not unemployment. We haven’t won yet. The more we kill now, the fewer we have to kill later. Any marathoner who wants to kill Mongols should meet me in Anchorage in the spring. Travel light, but bring all your anger.”
That night he took Princess and Prince aside so no one else could hear them. He could tell the prospect of a long break thrilled her.
"When is our third baby due?" he asked.
"February.”
"Then we should get married on my 18th birthday, March 11, in England. I’d like my grandfather, King Richard, to attend.” The twins looked at him completely bewildered. “Oh, yeah, I never mentioned this, but my father added two years to my Mongolian birth certificate, which is why we had to wait so long to get married. I wanted it to be legal under English law so our kids would be English royalty. It’d be hilarious if Harry and Elizabeth became a prince and princess.”
Expecting a fierce hug for scheduling a wedding date, Princess instead slapped him so hard in the face that she left a hand print. No one struck him that hard since his mother. Prince laughed so much he fell on the ground.
"You bastard! That's why you wouldn't marry me? Because you weren't old enough? Why didn't you tell me?"
Which explained the bitchiness that Billy had blamed on the pregnancies. Now she cried again, forcing him to hold the girl who just whacked him.
Relationships are so unfair.
“Brother,” he said to Prince, “Do you want to get laid?”
“My sister turned you gay like Blade?”
It shocked Billy just how likable Prince had become. Even Mali could stand him now. “I want you to come with us to breed with England’s and Ireland’s best quads. I’ll even finance the child support.”
Billy sent Chinese ships to deposit shiploads of wealth to his banks in Europe. Even Jack couldn’t figure out how to spend it all.
Prince smiled. “I can get even with the guy doing my sister? You have yourself a deal, whatever-your-name is.”
“Billy,” he said, finally taking off his mask. “My parents called me Billy.”
Prince thought that hilarious. “The most feared man alive is a scrawny teenager named Billy? What -- was Timmy already taken?” Prince couldn’t stop calling him names. Like Rupert, Albert, Edwin, and Alvin. “Genghis Khan is scared of a boy named Billy!”