This letter may come off kind of gory but finding myself a member of the undead family, I feel it appropriate to write a Christmas wish letter. Since, I am and have been a good zombie this year. I can assure you that many a chance has arisen where I could feast on the flesh of a baby or young child but I held back in anticipation that you would provide me with the proper substance, if I were to be a kind zombie to children. I have no memory of my former life other then you are partial to children and I wanted to follow suit by not feasting on the brains of these little ones…
Since I have been a good zombie this year, I hope in your eyes, I would like to ask for a small helping of elves’ brains. I hear from other members of my undead family, they are quite tasty. So seeing as I spared the lives of hundreds of small children, (and I do apologize if I orphaned many, however, their parents are among the ranks of the undead, so I have given them new families) I am kindly requesting you send more….. Elf brains!