Chapter 5
Patrick just stared at the man in front of him. The man he'd almost killed, the man who'd been beating the crud out of him for weeks. The man who was now clapping and smiling at him. What was going on? Ralph sighed.
"Alright, princess, I'm sure you're confused. But you need to open your ears and listen up, because we only have a few hours before morning, and I have a ton to tell you and I know you sure as hell are gonna have a shitload of questions for me. Now, like I said, get your ass up off the ground." Patrick recovered from some of his shock, shaking his head.
"No, not until you tell me what's going on."
"Fucking balls, boy. I don't have time for this monkey dance shit. But since you don't seem to be doing anything but staring at me like a dumb sack of shit, I guess I don't have a damn choice. Fine, you are a vampire. But you are more than that, much more. I knew that, soon as I saw your case on television I knew what you were. I had to see it for myself, though, so I got a job here in this very prison so I could test you?like I said, to see it for myself. Damn if you ain't all I hoped you'd be." Patrick wasn't following the foul mouthed psychopath.
"What do you mean by that?" Ralph rolled his eyes.
"Damn it, shit for brains, you can't be this dumb. You are the only vampire able to fight the evil demonic fucker trying to tear its way out of you. And I mean the only one. You're damn special, Noel. The chosen one, the savior of the human race foretold in prophecy. That's what the fuck I mean." Patrick let the words sink in, getting something off his chest in the meantime as he thought of what an appropriate response to finding out you were a "savior" would be.
"Do you have to curse so much, I find it a little offensive?" Ralph chuckled.
"Hell, boy, you're a damn vampire. And you find cursing offensive. Shit, I'll try to watch my fucking mouth if it makes you happy. That's the best I can offer, though, damn it." Patrick couldn't help but smirk at the mystery man's terrible attempt at not cursing. It was the first time a smile had been on his face for weeks that wasn't forced for his parents' sake. He had to admit, it felt nice.
"Who are you, exactly?"
"Let's just say I'm a hunter, I hunt vampires and other monsters like them. But I hunt vampires mostly, and that's all you need to know about me, you nosy asshole." Now it was Patrick's turn to roll his eyes, his voice turning sarcastic.
"Thanks for watching your language. And no, that isn't all I need to know. You are obviously more than human. I snapped your wrist in half, and now it is just fine. Tell me the truth, now." Ralph crossed his arms.
"Well aren't we a bossy little bitch, huh son. You didn't break my wrist you dumb bastard. Little trick I learned a long time ago. Been fighting bloodsucking fuckers for a long time, boy. Here, catch." Ralph tossed something to Patrick, and he was shocked when he caught a severed human arm with a broken wrist, the wrist he'd broken.
"How?what?who's is this?"
"Some dead stiff, who cares? Point is, I had to be sure you were the one I've been searching for. I was pretty damn sure, but I wasn't about to take any chances. Swinging a dead arm at you seemed a good way to do both. Once you gave into the bloodsucker, it couldn't tell the difference." Patrick looked the arm over, then thought of something.
"What if I'd given in before you used this. What if I'd grabbed your leg when you kicked me in the face?" Ralph shrugged.
"Hell, boy, you weren't pissed off enough to vamp out yet at that point. I told you I've been doing this a long time, looking for the one like you. I guess if you had, then I'd been screwed. But I'm pretty fucking good at killing bloodsuckers, I could have taken you most likely. Luckily for both of us, we won't have to find out. Now, will you get up so I can stop talking down to you. I don't want to keep talking so loud either, don't want any of these shitbags to hear us." Ralph offered his hand, and Patrick took it, getting to his feet. Both men sat on the prison bed, talking in hushed tones now so as not to be heard. Patrick asked another question before Ralph could go on.
"Is your name really Ralph?"
"Sure, boy, for now it is." Not the answer Patrick was looking for, but it would do for now.
"So, Ralph, if you were just trying to test me, why did you beat the snot out of all those other inmates too?" Ralph scoffed.
"Hell, son, why not? First off, I did it so you wouldn't suspect anything. I didn't want you to have any idea you were my main focus. Needed to keep you thinking you was no one special to me. Past that, they all deserved a good ass kicking. Don't worry, none of them are innocent, if that's what you're worrying about. I made sure each one was well deserving. Child molesters, rapists, wife beaters, murderers, etc. We are in prison for fuck's sake, Noel." Patrick shook his head.
"Could you at least not drop so many "f" bombs. That word bothers me the most." Ralph smacked his forehead.
"Christ, boy, the "f" word is my favorite one."
"Don't take the lord's name in vain either, please." Ralph just stared at Patrick a bit before answering with squinting, studying eyes.
"You are by far the weirdest fuck-, alright sorry, the weirdest vampire I've ever met. You got the devil inside you, boy, and you're worried about the man upstairs?" Patrick didn't care if Ralph thought he was being foolish, what happened to him and his family didn't have anything to do with God, he knew that. He'd struggled with his faith, and he was angry with God, but he wasn't giving up on either, that was for sure.
"Look, Ralph, you want me to keep talking to you, to do whatever it is you are here for?if you want me to consider either, then you need to abide by some rules. No "f" words and no using the lord's name in vain. Deal?" Patrick stuck his hand out. Ralph cocked his head, arching one eyebrow. Looking down at Patrick's hand, he shook his head before grasping it firmly for a deal sealer.
"Sure, Noel, deal." That reminded Patrick.
"What exactly is it you want from me?" Ralph scratched his head, looking off in the distance as he answered.
"Well, shit son, I need your help. The fu-, sorry, the whole freaking world needs your help. Like I said, I'm a hunter, doing the best I can to wipe the evil, demonic bastards off the planet. There are others like me, but our numbers are dwindling?we are losing the battle, boy. We need you to help us tip the scales back in our favor." Patrick didn't like where this was going.
"You've got to be kidding me." Ralph's attention snapped towards Patrick.
"Does it look like I'm kidding, boy. Damn it, Noel, you think I would go through all the trouble of finding you, getting a job here, and putting my ass on the line to test you the past few weeks if I was kidding. Shit!" Patrick wasn't about to get dragged into the middle of some crazy war between man and monster, he'd had enough of vampires. There was only one thing he wanted.
"It doesn't matter, Ralph, I'm not interested. There is only one thing I am interested in, and you are just the man for the job." Ralph looked at Patrick questioningly as he continued. "You say you hunt vampires like me, kill vampires like me. Well, do me a favor?do your job. Kill me. Do it now."