I HANDED BOTH ELI AND MASON A BEER, and my eyes scanned the crowded house, looking for my fiancée. We were getting married tomorrow, and instead of having a normal rehearsal dinner, Rachel had wanted my entire family here so they could spend time getting to know the Jenkins family. I knew it was a good idea, but I’d found out right after the rehearsal that the girls were stealing Rachel from me tonight and having a girls’ night at Maddie’s apartment so I couldn’t see her at all before the ceremony tomorrow. And now I was wishing this wasn’t as big as it was, because other than a few chaste kisses, she and I hadn’t gotten to talk since before the rehearsal.
My eyes finally fell on her, and I tried to rein in the caveman instinct that rose up inside me. She was holding Shea again. I swear to God there was something about that woman holding a baby that just set my blood on fire and made me want to get her pregnant immediately. I hadn’t brought up the baby topic since the night we’d fought about it before Rachel had been taken. With how upset she’d gotten, I’d been afraid to, but God, the more I saw her holding my cousin’s daughter, the more I wanted this for us.
I knew we were both still young. Rachel was twenty-two and I was twenty-six, but not only did I have a career that constantly reminded me of how fragile life was . . . my entire time with Rachel had been one giant reminder that everything you knew could be gone in a second.
Seeing death as often as Mason and I did already made us both the kind of guys that didn’t wait for what we knew we wanted . . . and a family with Rachel wasn’t an exception. But until she was at a place where she wanted a family too, I would keep my mouth shut about it.
Rachel laughed at something Eli’s fiancée, Paisley, was saying to the group of girls; and like I had just a few seconds ago, she began scanning the room. As soon as her eyes met mine, her body relaxed and she smiled softly.
I said I’d keep my mouth shut. But when had I ever been the kind of guy to make sure Rachel wasn’t pushed out of her comfort zone?
Lifting the beer up to my lips, I raised my eyebrows and let my eyes slide over to Shea before meeting Rachel’s again. She just shook her head at me, but that smile never left her face, and her eyes didn’t leave mine until Mrs. Jenkins captured her attention.
Well. That hadn’t been the “fuck you, Kash” I’d been expecting.
Eli called my name, and I reluctantly dragged my eyes from Rachel to look at him. “Come talk to me,” he said softly and walked toward the back door.
“Dude,” Mason said, and put a hand on my chest to stop me from walking. “This is where he kills you. Don’t go out there.”
“What? Mase, you’re so fucking dumb.”
“I’m not joking, give me a minute, I’ll go around the front and to the side. I’ll be waiting just in case he tries anything. The dude hates both of us.”
I snorted and took another long pull of my beer. “I wonder why, Mason? You’re having sex with his sister, and I’m sleeping with someone he views as a sister. There’s no way he doesn’t know that. Rachel lives with me, and Candice has been living with you; and neither of you are worried about how public you are with it. At least I’m in love with, and about to marry, the sister that I’m sleeping with. You’re just fucking Candice because you’re bored.”
“Don’t make it seem like he hates me more! Homeboy is staying in my apartment tonight. I want to be able to sleep without being afraid he’s going to kill me.”
I rolled my eyes and pushed past him.
“He has to hate you more, you didn’t even ask him if you could marry Rachel.”
I turned and threw my arms out. “I asked Candice and Eli’s dad, George! Well, I asked him before I asked her to marry me the second time.”
Mason pointed his beer bottle at me and I shook my head.
“So fucking dumb, Mase.”
Walking to the door, I turned and made sure Rachel was still distracted with all the women in the corner before slipping outside and finding Eli. He stayed silent as I walked over to him and still didn’t say anything for another minute after I was in front of him.
Maybe I should have had Mason wait on the side of the house.
“Uh, what’s going on, man?”
Rachel had told me about how Eli had helped her through the time after her parents had died. I remember her telling me how he had this quiet intensity that soothed her. But right now, I had to wonder how it soothed her, because I was noticing the quiet intensity . . . and it was scaring the shit out of me.
“You know I love Rachel just the same as I do Candice. I’ve grown up having her there, she’s always been a part of the family, just like Candice was a part of hers before her parents died.”
I nodded and waited for him to continue.
“There was so much that happened in her life, and no matter how much she’ll tell you about it, you’ll never be able to fully understand what she went through. But she’s so damn strong, I’ve always been in awe of her and the way she’s made it through some of the shittiest situations. I have no doubt that a lesser woman wouldn’t have made it through what Rachel has in the last year. Sometimes I wish that she wasn’t as strong, that she would need to come back to California so that I could make sure she was okay there. But then she wouldn’t be Rachel, and she wouldn’t have you.
“I wanted to hate you when she was kidnapped. I just needed someone to blame, like I’d blamed Blake for all that happened last year. But I know I can’t, I know you did everything you could to find her. When Mason, Candice, and I all talked last year while the two of you were separated, I found out a lot about how you blamed yourself; and I can only imagine you did the same this time. Despite the reasoning for their taking her, it wasn’t your fault, and I hope you know that. I want to say I’m sorry for the way I treated you, and above all, I want to thank you for bringing her back.”
“I, uh, well I’m glad to know you don’t blame me or hate me, but you don’t have to thank me. You know I would do anything for her.”
He took a long drink from his beer and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “I do kind of hate you. You’ve taken one of my sisters away from us and all the way across the United States . . . but there is no other guy I would trust with her life, and with her heart.”
Before I could respond, I felt, before I heard, Mason coming up behind me. “Mason . . .”
Eli eyed me, clearly confused, and his eyes widened when he must have finally seen Mason.
“Years of undercover work together,” I answered Eli’s unspoken question. “We couldn’t sneak up on each other if we tried.”
“Ahh . . . him I don’t like.”
“What the hell did I do?” Mason asked as he joined us.
Eli looked up at him, and even though he was a good head shorter than Mason, I fully understood why Mason looked like he wanted to go hide again.
“Stay away from my sister,” Eli said in clear warning before walking toward the house.
“Is he for real?” Mason asked.
I just shrugged and drained my beer. “You should totally sleep with one eye open tonight.”
“Son of a bitch,” Mason groaned and followed me back into the house.
23
Rachel
I TOOK DEEP BREATHS IN AND OUT as I studied myself in the mirror. I wasn’t nervous about the lifelong commitment I was about to make. I wasn’t worried that Kash was getting cold feet. I just felt like I was going to hurl.
The parents had already come in and given hugs before going to take their seats, and Candice and Maddie were behind me in light gray dresses, talking animatedly as they checked each other’s hair. We’d spent the morning relaxing at Maddie’s apartment and watching movies as Mason’s mom did our hair. Then we’d run over to the hotel where Kash and I were going to be staying the next three nights, and checked in before leaving our bags in the room, so he and I could go straight there after the reception without having to worry about anything.
The day had been nice, and easy, and just what I’
d needed. But right now, I needed a bathroom. I needed a toilet, and I needed the girls to leave the room.
“Easy,” a deep voice commanded when I turned to find the bathroom. Eli’s hands gripped my wrists, and his thumbs pushed into the pulse point on each one. “Breathe in and out.”
I let the intensity that always seemed to roll off Eli pour over me, and surprisingly, the whole thumbs-on-the-inside-of-my-wrists was really helping.
“Good girl, keep breathing. Deep breaths,” he said, and suddenly he was at my ear. “You okay, sis?”
“I’m good, just got a little light-headed there for a minute.”
“You sure you weren’t about to take off out of here? You need to get away, just tell me. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
I laughed shakily as more of the nausea left me. “No, nothing like that, Eli. I’m ready for this . . . so ready. I really just felt sick for a second.”
“Are you okay now?”
“Yeah, much better. Thank you.”
He kissed my forehead and stepped back. “Let me see if I can go find a Sprite or something around here. But you should get dressed soon. It’s supposed to start in ten minutes. Unless, you know, you need to run.”
“Eli, no.” I pushed him back and smiled at him. “I would love the drink, but not an escape.”
“All right, I’m just making sure.” He winked and slipped out the door.
He was back in no time, and I sipped at the carbonated drink slowly to help with the last of my uneasy stomach. As I did that, I stepped out of the loose clothes I’d been wearing, and Candice and Maddie helped me get ready.
I loved the lingerie we’d found a few weeks ago, and I couldn’t wait to see Kash’s reaction to it. I just didn’t know if I was going to last in the white corset that was covered in lace if my nausea came back. We’d just gotten on my favorite part of the lingerie when there was a knock at the door.
“Is Rachel decent?”
“No!” we all shouted back at Eli.
“Okay, then someone catch this, I’m not going to look where I throw.”
“Wait! What are you throwing?” Maddie shrieked and turned toward the door just in time to catch the package sailing through the air.
“Crackers.”
“Why crackers?”
“Rachel said she didn’t feel good. Make her eat those,” he said, and then shut the door.
Maddie eyed me through the mirror, and I’m sure Candice would have been doing the same if her face wasn’t near my butt at the moment. “You don’t feel good?”
“I just got a little queasy earlier, I’m feeling better, but those will help.” Oh Lord how those would help. “It’s just nerves.”
She handed me the little package and I quickly opened it up and popped the first one in my mouth just as Candice jumped up.
“Okay, it looks perfect!”
I turned in the mirror and smiled at my underwear. “So cute,” I said through a mouthful of cracker.
It was a white thong with a thick band of see-through material, ruffled on each side of the band, and a mix of cotton and lace for the rest. But the best part was the satin bow that covered anything that shouldn’t be seen. Thong or not, I still wanted it covered.
The girls made me finish the crackers before they helped me put on my dress, and as soon as I saw the completed look, with my hair in a low bun off to the side just as Maddie had done it in the dress shop, an overwhelming feeling of peace settled over me.
My mom would have loved to see me like this, my dad would have been proud of the man I had chosen. And now, I couldn’t wait to get to that ceremony so I could finally become his wife.
“Naked or not, we’re coming in,” Mason said as the door flung open.
“Mason!” Candice and Maddie scolded him, but he just shrugged.
“You look beautiful, Rach,” Eli said and pulled me close to whisper in my ear. “And I really don’t like that guy.”
“He’s harmless, I promise.”
“Uh-huh.” He gave Mason a look as he stepped back, and Mason stepped in to get his hug.
“For real, the dude hates me!” Mason hissed at me, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “But you look gorgeous, Kash is gonna die when he sees you.”
“Thanks, Mase.”
I watched Eli and Mason leave with Maddie and Candice, and then turned to see Candice’s dad, George, tearing up.
“No, no! Don’t cry. Because if you cry, then I’m going to cry, and I so can’t cry right now, George!”
“I know, I’m not crying. It’s just dust or something.” He wiped at his eyes and held his arms out for me. “So proud of you, baby girl. Your mom and dad would’ve been too.”
I hugged him hard before releasing him. “I know they would have.”
He blinked a few times before turning away. “Damn dust.”
“Yeah . . . damn dust,” I said and fanned at my face so the tears gathering in my eyes wouldn’t spill over.
“Come on, let’s go do this before the dust ruins my makeup.”
My head jerked back and I looked at him before busting out laughing. “Oh yeah, your makeup would definitely be all over the place.”
Putting my arm in the crook of his, I let him lead me out of the room, and we waited until it was our turn to walk down the aisle. The second my eyes found Kash standing at the end of it, my body warmed and my heart took off. He was standing there in black slacks, a light gray button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms, and a black suit vest. He looked amazing, but what I couldn’t take my eyes off was the huge smile that spread across his face as he watched us walk toward him.
The second my hand touched his, I took what felt like my first real breath since we’d left the dinner last night.
I was where I belonged. He was my home. And I was so ready to marry him.
Kash
PUSHING RACHEL UP AGAINST THE DOOR to our hotel suite, I captured her mouth with mine before making my way down her neck as I searched for the key in my pocket. Once I found it, I fumbled with sliding it in the lock twice before giving up and kissing her again. She laughed against my lips and grabbed the keycard out of my hand, and turned her body around so she could attempt to get us in the room.
I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her against my chest as I made a trail of openmouthed kisses across her shoulder and up the back of her neck. A soft giggle bubbled up from her chest but quickly cut off when I grabbed her hips and pressed my hard-on against her. She shivered in my arms and her head dropped back onto my shoulder just as the light turned green and the door unlocked. I quickly pushed us inside and let the door slam shut behind us as I hurried her to the bed, my hands going to the zipper on her dress as we walked. It’d been getting to the point where I would have taken my wife right there in the hall, not caring about anyone that may have seen us.
As soon as the zipper stopped its downward path, I stopped ours toward the bed and pulled away from Rachel so I could watch the dress fall from her body. The material pooled around her bare feet, and I took my time letting my eyes reverse the path the dress had just taken. I groaned when I saw her lingerie.
“Rachel Ryan, you’re trying to kill me before we can consummate this marriage.”
“I love that name.”
“Not as much as I do.”
Turning her around to unhook the top, I stopped breathing for heated moments as my hands gripped her hips and slid down her ass.
“This”—I nibbled on her earlobe and ran my fingers over the see-through, barely there material—“is the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
White lace and a ribbon. Who knew?
“Kash,” she said on a breath and pressed herself against me. “If you don’t take it off soon, I will.”
“So impatient,” I teased, but even as I did, my hands went to the dozens of hooks on the top. With each unclasped hook, I placed a kiss on her shoulder, the back of her neck, the sensitive spot behind her ear . .
. and with each one, her knees shook a little more.
When I was finished, I tossed the material aside before pressing her back to my chest again. Grabbing her chin, I tilted her head back and up so I could capture her mouth with mine as I palmed her heavy breasts. She groaned into my mouth and arched her back as her hands covered mine. She slowly removed my hands and guided them down her waist to rest against her stomach, and released me to run her hands through my hair.
Letting the tips of my fingers trail over her stomach and across her hips, I brought them down to the barely there underwear and let my thumbs run inside the band. Taking a step away from her, my lips curved up in a smile at her disappointed groan, but I just pushed her closer to the bed and pressed a hand down at the top of her back. Realization hit her blue eyes, and she bit down on her bottom lip as she rested her forearms on the bed.
I ran my hands over her bare ass again before grabbing the filmy material and slowly sliding it off her hips, down her thighs, and to the ground. She stepped out of her underwear, and I kissed my way back up her legs, biting softly on the back of her thigh just before I stood.
She was so fucking beautiful—so perfect—and she was finally mine.
I’d just barely begun teasing her, and was sliding one finger inside her when she suddenly turned and sat on the bed, facing me. Her hands reached the top of my pants and made quick work of unbuttoning and unzipping them, before dragging them, and my boxers, down. She grabbed my length in her hands, running them up and down a few times before she brought that sweet as sin mouth to me.
I groaned, and my hand automatically flew to her head, but I forced it to stay relaxed instead of gripping her hair. I tried to watch her as she built me up faster than I ever have before, but my head kept dropping back, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as she teased me with her lips and tongue, and her hand continued to work me. She moaned around me, and I about lost it right then when I looked back down and saw her touching herself too. Holy shit.
Pushing her away from me felt like an impossible task, but I needed to. I’d planned this whole night out in my head, I was going to go slow with her, I was going to spend hours worshipping her body. But as the night had progressed, we’d both gotten needier, and there’d been no way to start slow once we were finally here. But I wasn’t about to do this.