I hated yelling at her, but there was something about me taking control of the situation, and being an asshole, that always got Rachel to break down her walls and start talking. Not waiting for her to move, I grabbed her purse and dropped it on the floor, bent so my shoulder was against her stomach, and stood back up with her hanging over me.
“Why are you such an ass?” she grunted when I turned back toward the living room. “All I want is to be alone right now!”
“Ah, my little Sour Patch. We’re going to have to work on that if you want to get married. Because after we are, you can’t just walk out on a fight.”
“I didn’t know we were fighting,” she grumbled.
“We weren’t until you started PMS-ing on me.”
“I am not PMS-ing! Put me down!”
“Gladly.” I let her slide down and pushed her so she was lying down on the couch and crawled on top of her, caging her in. “Talk.”
Her blue eyes were on fire as they narrowed at me, and I watched as her jaw locked while she took deep breaths in through her nose. My girl was about to explode, and as much as I loved her when she was pissed off, I needed to know what had just happened.
“Drop the attitude, Sour Patch, and talk to me.”
“I don’t want to talk to you. I want a couple hours to myself, we can talk after.”
“Too bad. You have me with you right now, and I’m not going anywhere. Why do you suddenly not want to have kids? I understand wanting to wait until after we are married, but you kept making it longer and longer until you tell me you don’t know if you want kids. When did this change?”
“I don’t know, okay? I. Don’t. Know. You see me with little kids and your mind instantly goes to us having kids. You know where mine went? Exactly where it’s been going the last couple months. The fact that I won’t have my mom there with me when I go through pregnancies, and having babies, and taking care of toddlers, and dealing with teenagers with bad attitudes! I don’t have her here to plan our wedding, she wasn’t there when I bought my dress, she won’t be there for anything, Kash, do you understand that?” Her temper flared out quickly and tears filled her eyes. “I’ve already been having a hard time with that, but today as I sat there and listened to Ava ask your aunts and mom dozens of questions, I realized I’m terrified of not having my mom there to call and ask questions when we have kids. What if I do it all wrong?”
“Babe,” I crooned and moved my hands to brush my thumbs across her cheeks. “You’re going to be a great mom whenever we have kids, you won’t do it wrong, and you’ll have my mom there if you have questions.”
“I know, and I’ll have Janet. But it won’t be the same.” Her eyes fluttered shut when a few tears dropped down her face and into her hair. “They were supposed to be here for everything.”
“I’m so sorry, Rachel.” Squeezing myself between her and the back of the couch, I turned her and pulled her against my chest. I hadn’t known what to expect just then, but I had no idea she’d been struggling with not having her parents here for all of this, and felt like a jackass for not knowing. I should have known. “I’m sorry they aren’t here, but you have a lot of people who love you and are here for you. They won’t make up for your parents, I know that, and so do they. But they’re here for you, and I’m always here for you.”
She nodded against my chest and took a shuddering breath in.
“And you never leave when you’re upset. Okay? We always talk things out.”
“ ’Kay.”
Kissing the top of her head, I pulled her up until I could see her face. “I’ll lay off the baby talk, and I’m sorry for pushing that on you. I got carried away with seeing you like that today. But from now on, will you talk to me about what’s going on so we don’t have to go through this again? I should have known this would be a hard time for you, and I’m sorry I didn’t. Next time, though, please tell me. I can’t help you if I don’t know, and if we can avoid what just happened, I’d prefer that.”
“I know, I’m sorry. I just let it all get to me and I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t excited about getting married, because I am. It’s hard without them, but I am happy, I swear.”
“I know you are, Rachel. I never questioned that.”
She nodded and blinked slowly a few times before resting her head next to mine.
Rachel was so strong willed and always exuding her fiery attitude, which I loved, that I’d stopped looking for signs of anything being wrong. I swore to myself right then that I would never forget just how fragile she could be, and to never miss another sign from her. She was strong, but I needed to be stronger for us.
“Come on, sweetheart, let’s go to bed. We can talk more about this tomorrow.”
4
Rachel
“CANDICE, I’M SO SERIOUS, one of these days you’re going to get pregnant and you’re going to have no clue who the father is.” I laughed sadly and flopped down onto the couch as a horrified gasp filled my ear.
“I am not about to have little Candices running around. You know I’m careful, and you don’t have room to talk about being safe, Miss We-don’t-use-condoms.”
Oh Lord, I didn’t even want to tell her about the pseudo-fight Kash and I had about condoms and birth control pills a couple weeks ago. “I’m only with Kash, though! You probably can’t even count how many guys you’re with right now.” I could picture her face as she tried to remember everyone and shook my head. “I’ll take your silence as confirmation that you can’t.”
“Whatever, I’m having fun.”
“Obviously, that was never a—” I sucked in a large breath as something cold, wet, and fluffy covered my face. “Kash!” He barked out a laugh as I wiped the whipped cream away from my eyes and sent a look of death his way, making him laugh louder.
He smiled widely, and I hated him for that smile at that moment. “You look adorable.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
He shook the can in the air, just in case I’d missed it being in his hand the first time. “Ice cream time.”
“I’m on the phone!”
“Yeah, and it’s time for you to get off.”
“You—are you . . . ooo I want to punch you in the face right now.” Candice was laughing loud enough for both of us to hear from where I’d dropped my phone on the couch, and when I reached for my phone, Kash took a step toward me with the can raised. “You wait!” Holding my hand up to stop him, I grabbed my phone and spoke slowly. “Candi, I have to go kill my fiancé now, I’ll call you later.”
“Have fun! Don’t hurt him too much, love you!”
“He just whip creamed my face. No promises. Love you back.” After tapping the END button, I stood slowly and never took my eyes off the weapon. “That wasn’t nice.”
“I’m sure you’ll get over it. I made you a banana split.”
“And you put the topping on my face! That isn’t exactly something you should be proud of right now. It’s sticky.”
Grabbing my hand, he pulled me close and tried to fight a smile as his eyes roamed over my face. “Don’t whine, Sour Patch. You really do look adorable, you’re just missing something.”
Before I could move away, he hooked his arm around my neck and sprayed more whipped cream on top of my head, smashing it in as I maneuvered out of his arms. Wiping my hands across my face, I lunged at him, but he shot more out of the can, aimed directly at my face. At the last second I turned and took off, running toward the kitchen.
“You are such an asshole!” I screamed behind me as I ran, but I couldn’t stop laughing even as my nose began burning from somehow snorting up some of the whipped cream.
I heard the clacking of Trip’s nails on the hardwood behind me, but no Kash. Turning to look proved Kash wasn’t there, but I heard the sound of heavy footsteps just as I turned back around. I screamed as Kash came barreling toward me from the opposite direction, and I tried to turn back to go the way I’d been coming from but ran into Trip seconds before Kash
did, and we both went crashing down onto the hardwood floor.
Kash’s arm came up with the can, but before he could spray more, I smacked the can away and tried to crawl away from him and closer to it. And yes, okay I’ll admit I may have cheated by accidentally kicking him in the stomach as I crawled away. A half-laugh, half-shout of victory left me when I reached the can and turned it on Kash, but nothing came out.
“Are you shitting me?”
He laughed and ripped the can from my hand, and after a shake, more fluffiness was spraying out at my face.
“What the hell? That’s not fair!”
“What can I say? The can hates you,” he boasted proudly as the sounds of an empty can filled the otherwise quiet hall. “Don’t pout. You look amazing.”
I couldn’t help it. I was pouting like a four-year-old and I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to, which I totally didn’t. “I’m covered. You just wasted nearly an entire can of whipped cream on my face, and it’s in my hair!”
A look of shock covered his handsome face. “Oh God no, not the hair!” he smirked, and a small laugh left him when my pout increased. “Come here, beautiful.” Kissing my lips softly through the whipped cream, he licked off what had transferred onto his face and kissed me again. “See? Beautiful and delicious. Really, you should be thanking me right now.”
“Hate is a strong word and it’s coming to mind when I look at you.”
“Aw, I love you too, snookems.”
“I will murder you.”
“I know.” He smiled and let his hands trail down my waist to my barely there sleep shorts. I moaned unattractively when his hand trailed over where I wanted him most. “What if I promised to help clean it off you?”
Yes. Please. “Much less likely to murder you.”
He barked out a laugh that cut off quickly when his cell started blaring the tone he set for anyone at the police department. “Damn it.”
Not happening. I need sexy time with my man while he cleans whip cream off me!
“Ryan,” he answered and gave me an apologetic look a few silent moments later. “Yeah—yeah, I’m on my way.”
“Gotta go?”
“Yeah.” He grimaced and helped me stand up. “I’m sorry, Rach. I’ll be back as soon as I can. Double homicide, looks like it’s gang related.”
“Don’t be sorry, go do what you do best.” He and Mase weren’t even on call for over twenty-four more hours. I wanted to ask why they couldn’t have called someone else, but I kept my mouth shut and smiled through my disappointment. He looked like he was beating himself up enough; he didn’t need me making it worse.
“Thank you.”
He took off for the bedroom, and I walked into the kitchen to wet a paper towel so I could wipe all the gross-ness off my face. By the time I was walking back into the hallway with a wet washcloth to clean anything else that had been sprayed, Kash was jogging back down the hall in a clean shirt while putting his gun in the holster, his badge hanging around his neck.
Grabbing my chin, he pulled me close and kissed me hard. “Be back soon, love you, Rach.”
“Love you too.”
After he was gone, I finished cleaning and called Candice back as I dumped the banana splits Kash had made.
“Did you hurt him?” she asked in way of greeting.
“Ha. No, he got called in.”
“Bummer.”
“Tell me about it, it was just about to get good too. He told me he was going to clean all the whipped cream off me, I was picturing us in the shower . . . yeah, no. Didn’t happen.”
“That sucks. He should have told them to give him half an hour.”
I laughed out loud and hung my head. “I’m just saying, whipped cream wars are not as fun as they portray them in books or movies. They’re usually all sexy and whatnot. Ours? Not so much. I got whipped cream up my nose, I was running away from him and fell over Trip and hit the hardwood really hard. Like, I think my hip and elbow are going to bruise from it because Kash was on top of me when I went down. When I knocked the can out of his hand it somehow hurt me more than anything, my hand is throbbing. Then when I’m about to get one good hit in, nothing comes out of the can! I’m all sticky and gross, it was just one massive fail.”
Candice was laughing so hard she was snorting, and I couldn’t help but laugh with her. “I would have paid to see that!”
“I’m pretty sure I looked like the abominable snowman on crack. You didn’t miss anything too thrilling.”
“Uh-huh, sure sounds like it.”
“I miss you, Candi. I can’t wait to see you.”
“I know!” I could hear her happy clap through the phone and smiled. “Just a couple weeks and then it’s me and Rachie time!”
“You’re such a nerd.”
A few days after the big blowup Kash and I’d had after the family dinner, he’d surprised me with tickets to Texas for Candice’s graduation, and then to California for the two weeks after. He could only get two weeks of vacation blocked off, so after we spent the remainder of the time with Candice’s family, he was flying Candice back here for the month leading up to the wedding. I’d tackle-hugged him when he told me about everything. He was always doing whatever he could to make sure I was happy, and though I hated that I knew a big part was still because of guilt for what had happened last summer in Austin, I was so in love with him for the gift of time with my pseudo-family.
“I know, I— Oh, hey! Mike just got here, I gotta go.”
“Have fun,” I said in a singsong voice. “Be safe!”
“Always!”
I looked down at Trip licking my ankle after setting my phone on the counter. “Yeah, I bet I taste real good right now.”
Grabbing one of Trip’s treats, I headed toward the bathroom to clean myself from the dessert war. After he was all settled with a toy and treat on the bathroom mat, I stripped out of my clothes and turned the water on as hot as it would go. I washed my hair and body twice to get any lingering stickiness off, and tried not to frown at how differently I’d seen this shower going.
Once I was done and dried off, I let Trip out before going around the house and locking up. From experience over the last few months, I doubted Kash would be home anytime soon. It was close to midnight, so there was no way I could wait up for him. Placing Trip on the bed, I crawled in after him before grabbing my phone.
Just so you know . . . cleaning up from a whipped cream war without you isn’t nearly as fun. See you when you get home. Love you.
I knew better than to wait for a response, he probably wouldn’t get the text until they were done. But I couldn’t help but sit there and stare until my screen went black, wishing for anything from him.
I was proud of him, and I knew he loved what he was doing. But nights when he was gone were really lonely. With a sigh, I turned off my lamp and plugged my phone in to charge before pulling an already snoring Trip close and closing my eyes.
MY EYES FLEW OPEN and my body stilled. I didn’t know if I’d been dreaming or if Kash was home and I’d heard him, but my arms were covered in goose bumps and I held my breath as I waited for another sign of what had woken me. I started to think it was a dream when I didn’t hear anything else, but my body locked up again when I noticed Trip standing at the foot of the bed growling low and as fiercely as a puppy could. Sunlight from the windows was filtering into the bedroom, and I quietly reached behind me for my phone. Kash always texted me when he was on his way home for this exact reason . . . he didn’t want me to freak out if I was asleep.
My text from last night had gone unanswered.
“Trip,” I whispered and sat up, my eyes widening when I saw the ridge of raised hair along his back. “Trip, come—”
A loud boom sounded from the front of the house, and Trip began barking. I froze for all of three seconds before grabbing him and shutting his mouth as I failed miserably at dialing 9-1-1. It shouldn’t be that hard, three numbers and the CALL button, but it took me four tries before I got i
t. In that time I heard two men talking low in the front of the house as I turned in circles, trying to figure out where to go. Closet? Under the bed? Out the window?
“Tampa Bay, dispatch. Do you need fire—”
“Police! Please send police.” I quickly and quietly spouted off our address as I tried to keep Trip in my arms. “Someone just broke into my house. This is Rachel Masters, my fiancé is Detective Logan Ryan, and he’s out on call right now for a double homicide, and I don’t—”
“Ma’am, ma’am, I need you to calm down and speak slowly. Someone broke into your house? Is he or she in there right now?”
“Yes, I hear at least two males.” I inhaled sharply when I remembered the fake wall in our closet. Thank God for Kash being paranoid!
“Ma’am, are you okay? What just happened?”
“Nothing! Are you sending someone?” I hissed as I quietly ran to the large closet in the master bathroom.
“I dispatched officers as soon as you gave me the address, Miss Masters. Do you have somewhere you can hide?”
“Yes, I’m getting in there now.” My entire body was trembling as I strained to listen for the men. I couldn’t hear anything anymore, but that didn’t mean much. “How far out are they?”
“About eight minutes. Are you in your safe place now?”
“Yes,” I whispered and set Trip down next to me. Please hurry, please God, hurry.
“Can you still hear the men, Miss Masters?”
“No.” All I could hear was my breathing, which sounded disturbingly loud, and the pounding of my heart. Thank God Trip was staying quiet as he huddled back into the corner.
“Okay, well I need you to stay where you are until officers get there, just in case.”
I jumped back into the wall and slid down to a sitting position when a loud crash came from the bedroom, followed by more sounds of furniture being flipped over. My body was vibrating and it took everything in me to keep quiet and keep the phone to my ear. Tears were pricking the back of my eyes, and when Trip softly growled I threw my hand over his nose and mouth, praying he understood my silent plea.