Chapter 8
The ride back to Mayfair was a complete blur to Hope. She barely remembered talking to Geoffrey as she returned Tabitha to the mews before sneaking silently back into the house and to her room. Her body and mind were exhausted and as she slid into bed the last thing she remembered thinking about before falling into a fitful slumber was how curious it had been that her mother had never questioned her about how much she truly resembled Lady Noelle. Matilde had just accepted that the plan would work, having never laid eyes on Lady Noelle for herself—odd.
When Hope finally awoke she felt as if she had never gone to bed at all. She had tossed and turned and fretted the whole night, never allowing her mind to shut down fully to allow her body peaceful sleep. She got ready for the day unhurriedly, dreading the moment she would see Lady Noelle and tell her that she had agreed to go along with her plan. She knew that Noelle would be ecstatic but she herself could only feel apprehension and dread.
When she heard the tinkling of the brass bell, it was with great trepidation that she entered Noelle’s bedchamber. Noelle was sitting propped up in her bed, looking as if she had just awoken refreshed from a long nights slumber. Hope was irritated that she could sleep at such a time as this and did nothing to mask that irritation.
“Good morning milady, what can I do for you?” she spoke through ground teeth.
Noelle yawned and stretched, her dainty hands reaching high above her head, “Oh don’t be silly Hope, you know exactly what you can do for me. Have you finally come to your senses and decided to do as I proposed?”
Though she knew that it was highly unlikely that Noelle would change her mind, her heart still plummeted in her chest at the affirmation. She clenched her jaw tightly for a few long seconds before finally answering, “Yes, milady.”
Noelle sprung from her bed, “Really? Look at me Hope,” she grabbed Hope’s shoulders and shook her. “You are going to be so happy, we both are.” Hope highly doubted she would but she wasn’t about to argue with her mistress, it was futile.
“Oh, we have so much to do before I leave and not nearly enough time to do it all in. I have to teach you all there is to know about being a lady so that you can assume your new role gracefully.”
Hope wasn’t optimistic about anything going gracefully but she didn’t say so. She felt unusually grumpy and knew that the lack of sleep contributed greatly to her mood, for she was rarely ever out of sorts.
“Let’s start by getting you all dressed up as if you were attending a ball so I can see how you look as me once more.” She moved to her closet and began shuffling through the surfeit of ball gowns. It was odd for Hope to see her doing something that she usually did for her, and as she moved to assist her she stopped herself, figuring she better get used to it if she were going to assume her role permanently.
Noelle strode back to where Hope was standing holding a bronze gown in her arms, “Hurry and strip down so we can get you dressed. Isn’t this fun?” Hope ignored her and began undressing. Moments later she was ensconced once more into the rigid corset and Noelle was soon slipping the gown over her head. The bronze color of the dress served to draw even more attention to the unusual amber shade of her eyes and was much finer than the day dress she had worn last time she had posed as Noelle. Next Noelle instructed her to pin her hair up elaborately while she herself insisted on dressing once more in Hope’s garb.
“Though I plan on staying in the privacy of these chambers all day while I train you to become a lady, I’d rather be safe in case somebody decides to come looking for either one of us.” It made sense so Hope didn’t argue.
Once Hope had her hair dressed, Noelle came over to sit at the vanity to help apply the rouge and lip salve and to darken her lashes for her. When the primping was complete Noelle hummed in appreciation, “It’s peculiar how much you resemble myself, don’t you find it a little unnerving?”
“I find it more than a little unnerving and more than a little inconvenient.” Hope muttered, wondering how much Noelle really cared about her opinion.
“Well stranger things have happened I suppose.” Then pushing her musings aside she continued, “Now, where shall we begin?” She tapped one finger thoughtfully against her cheek.
“I suppose we should start with dancing, for I know not a single thing about it. I feel much more confident in the other areas, having been your lady’s maid long enough to have a fairly good understanding of the other components of being a lady. I’m almost positive I could work my way through a multi-course meal and I am as versed in the social proprieties as you are, but I have never had the occasion to learn to dance, never needed to know how.”
“Perfect, let’s begin there. I suppose I’ll have to act as the gentleman and the orchestra seeing as how we have no music.” She thought for a minute, “I guess I’ll just have to hum a tune and hope you can pick up on the rhythm of the dance.”
Oh dear, she hoped this would work, for dancing was an integral part of being a Lady. She knew that masquerading as Lady Noelle would require her to attend multiple balls a week and that there was no way she could get away with not dancing at every single one of those balls. Both girls worked to move a few stray pieces of furniture out of the way, clearing a space for the lessons.
“The first dance we will start with is a country dance. You’ll just have to imagine there are more couples dancing along with us.”
Noelle began humming a lively tune as she led Hope in the steps of the dance. There was much fumbling and stepping on toes but Noelle was persistent and insisted that they try again and again. Eventually that persistence paid off and Hope felt as if she could satisfactorily dance a country dance. She was glad that she was a quick learner and fairly agile.
After taking a break to rest their feet Noelle stood once more and gestured for Hope to do the same, “Next we will work on waltzing.” Noelle stood directly in front of Hope and placed one hand on her back before taking her other hand in her own, “Now I’ve noticed you’re rather good at following my lead so if you can continue to do that, this should come quite easily for you. First, step back with your right foot.”
Hope kept her gaze down as she struggled to watch their feet amidst the billowing skirt of her gown, trying to get in rhythm. She stumbled on Noelle’s toes frequently and finally she figured Noelle had had enough of it when she decided once more that it was time to rest.
“I’m not sure I can learn to waltz, is there any chance that I can avoid this particular dance?” she asked hopefully.
“Hardly, it’s all the rage and I’m sure the duke will insist upon waltzing with you.” The thought of being in a man’s arms stumbling around a ballroom unnerved her. She knew if she were ever going to pull off this charade she would need to master the waltz and so after a few minutes of rest they were practicing once more. And so the remainder of the day went, practicing one dance after another until Hope’s feet ached from wearing the unfamiliar ball slippers.
Finally Noelle called it a day, much to Hope’s relief, and sat down with a huff, “I must confess, dancing with you is more tiresome than dancing with half the ton, and not nearly as pleasant.” She reached down and pulled off one slipper and began rubbing her toes, “and much more painful.” Hope grimaced, her confidence not at all bolstered by the comments.
“Let’s hope we can improve your dancing abilities drastically in the next few days or we could be in trouble. Now, we have to discuss how this will all work out. I hate to have to tarnish your name but we have to come up with a credible story for your sudden and impromptu departure and it won’t reflect well on you I am certain.”
Hope already knew that and offered a suggestion, “Why don’t we stick as close to the truth as possible. Let’s just tell your father that I left a note behind saying that I have run away with a gentleman I have fallen in love with and plan to flee the country. Please, no more lies if we can help it.”
“Perfect. He’ll be perturbed and insist on getting you a new lady’s mai
d post haste, but there should be no further ramifications and this way Hope Hillburn can just disappear into the unknown indefinitely.”
Hope flinched at the casual way Noelle talked of her demise as if it would have no effect on her life whatsoever. Maybe it wouldn’t but it was certainly affecting Hope’s own life to vast extremes. The thought of putting her identity completely in the past made her feel sick to her stomach. She just hoped that she could retain a part of who she was and not lose herself completely in this new life she was embarking on.
Suddenly it all weighed her down and felt like more than she could bear: saying her final goodbyes to her mother, having to dress in fancy clothes, having to learn to dance, and worst of all, having to eventually become a duchess.
She rose quickly, “Please unhook my dress, I suddenly feel fatigued and need to lie down for a bit…it was a long night.” An understatement if there ever was one. All she knew was that she wanted to get back into her own familiar clothes and away from Noelle where she could enjoy whatever she could of her final days as plain old Hope Hillburn from Shepard’s Bush.
The minute the bronze satin gown fell to the floor and her corset was unlaced, she insisted that Noelle remove her gown so she could redress before stealing away to her own quarters to be alone where she could write and transport herself away into another world. A world that would always be there for her, a world where she could imagine anything she pleased, be anything she chose.