Chapter 4
That night sleep does not come easy for Mary but come it finally does. For half the night she sleeps fitfully, and now Mary is tossing and turning in her bed. What is causing her to toss and turn has invaded her mind before; and invasion it must be for Mary refuses to believe that it is her mind that is making up this dream or the vision she is experiencing.
It is dark, which does not make sense as it is only noon and the large clock confirms what the mind is having trouble accepting. She watches the clock tick away the time, 11:58, 11:59, 12:00….it takes her a few seconds to realize when the ticking and the rotation of the second hand has stopped….12:01.
Her body is ripped from earth and is thrown far into space. She briefly considers how strange it is that she does not feel the cold or the need for air, but such are dreams. She looks down at the blue planet…from here it looks so beautiful, so perfect…she remembers the first time she had ever seen it, how the lava flowed and how the ground seemed to be forever on the move. That was beauty too and she had spent an eon simply enjoying that sight.
As quick as a blink she is on the move again. Her stomach lurches, threatens to heave its contents and just as suddenly as it started, movement stops, making her stomach heave again. Mary opens her eyes and the vision before her has changed.
Dinosaurs, she remembers….this is not a dream but a memory, but how can it be. There, they once played with those and that one over there they would ride for hours and hours. The feel of them beneath her, they would laugh and feel each other’s joy…….. they…..who was that other in they? No, it has to be all a dream, but it feels so real, so much like memories.
The vision changes again and this time she sees a man and a woman. They have just awakened and sit naked in an open field. The sun is hot and bright, spring flowers release their scents and the man and women explore their differences and similarities. She watches as the overwhelming urge to breed overcomes them……..and then watches as they experience their first baby.
Mary remembers the joy she had felt when she had first seen them, the joy she felt as they discovered each other, and these two were only one pair of many other pairs they had seeded over the land. She remembers the scene below being played out repeatedly; she remembers witnessing them, remembers experiencing them all, but how?
Time flows forward so rapidly that it becomes a sickening blur. The blur becomes a re-visit of her memories. Mary comes to acknowledge that what she is seeing are true memories and images and not the nightmarish dream she was hoping for. She acknowledges that the feelings she is feeling were those she originally felt; happiness, sadness, sorrows, elation, joy, anger; she closes her eyes.
When she reopens her eyes, it takes her some time to reconcile what she is seeing. Her body is floating inside a structure and she looks down as if she is a spectator to the event occurring within and that event is confusing enough that it makes her head spin. The one thing she is certain of though is that this is not the time and place she had gone to bed knowing.
Below her a man, a very old almost ancient man is working. The man is of Indian origins and is dressed, as an Indian would have dressed thousands of years ago. It takes only a few seconds longer for Mary to remember the name that humans have come up for them, Mayan.
The “Mayan” of old had been one of their favorites, a very promising branch, but even back then, they knew how it would end…….they….who is the they?
The old man is writing on some type of parchment that she remembers but cannot quite place; parchment that has been very carefully and skillfully prepared.
The building that the ancient man sits in comes into focus and Mary sees that the building is made of thick white washed stone. Outside the window, a window, which is nothing more than a space with no stone, is a jungle and well beyond that is what looks to be pyramids.
When the wind picks and sets the hangings on the walls flapping, her attention comes back to the interior. Looking closely at the hangings she recognizes them to be of the same material that sits in front of the old man.
Mary mores closer to the hangings but even looking at them closer does little to help her make out what these scribbling may be. They are familiar, yet do not seem to make any sense; some symbols are repeated repeatedly, others less so.
A sigh catches her attention. The old man’s hand has paused in its scribbling. It now sits unmoving over the parchment. The man’s inner light is joyful and bright but whatever he is seeing in his mind’s eye is affecting that joy. For a long time he wanders his mind, his inner light dims and brightens repeatedly; that old man’s inner light calls to Mary. It is so bright, so right, it is what they have been……have been, what is it they have been doing……and who is they.
The old man finally lowers his hand, commences to scribble again but stops within a blink of the eye. Deep in thought he looks out the window, looks to the sky and finally giving a big sigh he puts down his writing stick, raises and leaves.
Mary floats in to take a closer look. The parchment is only half filled so why did the old man not finish what he started. Memories…..very old memories; a calendar, a visit to a bright one, the laughter, the joy, and yes the old man knows for out of love for that brightness she had told him herself.
Another sudden shift, her head spins in dizziness, and once more, she finds herself flung far into the sky and then even further; into space beyond.
The movement of the planets on the other side of the earth catches her eye. They are moving strangely…one planet stops, then another, another, and another. In the end, they line up in a perfect union. One planet sits directly behind the other and the only reason Mary knows this is because she witnessed them lining up for if this was her first look without that foreknowledge she would never know; at least to this extent as some of the larger planets hide the smaller in their shadow.
To the left….something is opening, something dark, black, and endless. Whatever it is, it does not look inviting and Mary has no desire to get closer to that blackness, but apparently, her mind feels differently for it flings her body towards the menacing hole. Mary’s releases a silent scream in her dreams and a very loud audible scream in the land of the living. Her neighbor bangs on his wall.
Mary struggles to get away, to wake up but her dream has her firmly trapped and refuses to release her. Once more Mary screams and continues that scream until she comes to realize that her body is no longer being flung into the hole, but back to that beautiful blue planet below.
Down her body goes; dust particles sting her eyes, the smell of pollution is nauseating. Mary closes her eyes in an attempt to once again keep her rebelling stomach from releasing its contents and thus she does not immediately realize when her body stops its downward movement.
Once more, time shifts and Mary witnesses the suffering of many, the vulgarity of even more, the abuse, the shouting, the screaming, the greed, and the deaths. Wars ancient and new, torture for the sake of torture, bombings and laughter at the resulting deaths, it all comes in a rush.
Time spins……opening her eyes, she recognizes the place and time. Chaos reins and humans run, scream, and cry. The very core of the planet is shaking itself apart resulting in mayhem and destruction untold.
And then….no….it cannot be; Mary cries.
“Why do you cry center of my being?”
“The suffering!” Mary replies.
“The suffering is of their making. For thousands of their years they have been following this path. We have watched and despaired for them but there has always been that glimmer of hope.”
“But must it all end?”
“Center of my being we discussed this for a very long time. We knew that this day was to come and we agreed to our best course of action when the end came, no that is not right, not an end just another beginning. Remember me, remember yourself, remember our dreams, and remember what it is you are there to do.
“I feel lost; there should be someone by my side!”
“I am always
by your side my pairing. Remember yourself Maryalyan as your task will not be easy and time grows short.”
Before Mary can respond her body is once again on the move. Faster and faster; she screams, the neighbour bangs the wall. She stops….the stop so sudden it feels like she has been slammed into the wall.
Her scream cuts short and Mary sits up wide-eyed and sweating. Gulping for air, she looks around and tries to reconcile where she is with where she just was. Each breath that she takes steadies her; each breath that she exhales calms until finally she no longer feels like the world is falling away.
The dream, it is fading much too quickly. Mary knows it is important, she knows she must not forget but it slips away much too fast for her to grasp. She knows that the dreams hold all of her answers, if only she could hold on, grasp it by the tail and make it do her bidding.
She losses it and even though she knows of the dreams importance it is with reluctance that Mary lays back down on the bed and feeling insecure, rolls up in a ball.