used against you by a witch-y type.
He was really striking looking—not exactly handsome, but he had a raw sexual energy that just drew you to him. I bet he never had a problem getting laid. I wondered what he looked like when he was my age. Bet he didn't have as much leather back then. He was focused on a powerpoint projector which was apparently not liking being plugged into his laptop. As I watched, a few sparks flew from his fingertips and the projector suddenly went on-line. Looks like he was “spiritually gifted.” Tonight should be really interesting or really dangerous. With my luck it would be both. A Latino kid walked in, looked at the speaker and muttered, “Oh, Papi!”
I glanced around and saw a mixed group of White guys and those of various ethnic shades, ranging from around our age to a couple who looked as if they were at least forty. Otter and I sat down and saw a couple of more skins come through the door and nod to us. By the time we were supposed to start there were at least twenty people present, and almost half were Native. Kewl. I looked over at Otter and it was obviously he was putting together a menu of tonight's potential partners. Such a slut.
“Welcome,” a White guy said. He had one of those old-fashioned patches of hair on his lower lip that looked like a small mustache had been trying to escape his upper lip and had only managed to fall down a few inches. He was wearing retro hipster glasses and a big smile. At least the smile was working for him. I wondered how many workshop attendees he left with each month. “As you know, we have a special guest tonight, and I just want to get out of the way so he has as much time as possible. I'm passing around a sign-in sheet and if you'd like to be put on our mailing list to get notices of other events, just leave us your email address.” He grinned and held up a clipboard that he handed to one of the Latino guys closest to him. “And now—Professor Comesflying.”
“Cums Flying,” I whispered to Otter, “how many sex jokes did he have to put up with growing up?”
He smiled and said something to us in a Native language I didn't recognize. He then added, “But you all speak English, right?” When the heads started nodded, relieved he wasn't going to continue in a language no one else knew he said, “Let me tell you a story.” Then he said something else in his language that I assumed was their equivalent of Once upon a time. I mean, it's what we would do if we were about to tell a legend in front of a crowd like this.
“Do you know what a 49 is?” He looked around slowly and carefully. Most of the non-Natives looked as if the headlights had just been turned on them and an 18 Wheeler was about to run them over. He then looked directly at me and said, “You—the pretty one—do you know what a 49 is?”
I frowned. The Pretty One? Help me lift this heavy box of Oh Pul-leeze! I started singing:
Strawberries when I'm Hungry--
Whiskey when I'm Dry--
Heartaches when I'm Lonely--
What the Hell do I care--
Wheyah ha wheyah ha wheyah ha Ho!
The White guys all had their mouths hanging open and Otter was cracking up. “A 49 follows a big powwow. You gather together around a fire and there's usually alcohol involved. You sing sort of round dance songs, except 49 songs are usually a mixture of English with Indian words, like the one I just sang. It's expected you get drunk and then you start teepee creeping.”
The guy who introduced Comesflying asked, “What's teepee creeping?”
“Shagging,” I answered. “I think you'd call it humping. Or maybe fucking.” I tried not to look down at him, and I failed. I just couldn't make it past that soul-patch attempt.
“Very good,” said Comesflying, attempting to take the focus of the audience back. “And great voice.” He flicked the projector on with a little control unit in his hand and an image of an actual 49 appeared on the screen. “Among some of our Native Nations, there is a legend of someone called the Deer Woman. She appears after the bottle has been passed around several times. She is a great beauty and she will always be dressed traditionally. She moves with the ultimate grace and if you meet her large almond-shaped eyes you won't be able to look away.
“You will join her in dancing and then she will lead you into the darkness. The next morning when you are missing, your friends will follow your footprints—that are next to the hoof-prints of a deer. Because you had left with the Deer Woman, and if you had looked closely you would see she wears no moccasins, but has the sharp hooves of a deer. When she gets you alone, she'll dance on your genitals until you die. They'll find your broken and bleeding body, but Deer Woman has left for her next 49.”
“Gross,” said one of the Latinos.
“We have many stories of what happens when you leave the safety of your community and go off with a stranger. Sometimes, even a condom can't save you. HIV may be relatively new to our reservations, but we have a long history of having to cope with new diseases that were introduced to us by outsiders.
“Did you know it's estimated up to 90% of Native people died within two generations of Whit contact? Our people didn't have immunity to even what non-Natives called their childhood diseases, like measles.”
I looked around. Most of the non-Natives looked surprised and most of the Natives were nodding their heads. We were told when Lewis and Clark passed by villages of my mom's people on the Columbia River, there were up to 3,000 people living there. On their return voyage, less than 300 would be surviving. We have a lot of oral history of what it was like to lose so many in such a short amount of time. It's one of the reasons all the Native Nations I know place such great importance on funerals and living through them. It's always comes down to rituals.
“So,” one of the White guys asked, “Are there like, Deer Boys who try to seduce people like me?” He tried to look seductive and wasn't able to make it past sed—
“Dream on,” Otter whispered.
“I have to believe if you have Deer Women, you would have Deer Men.” Comesflying suddenly had a mischievous look in his eyes. “And if you have Deer Men, you have to have a certain percentage of Deer Twinks.” That made me laugh. “There's always a temptation to follow someone with your dick on a journey you may later regret.” He touched his control and the screen filled with some really hot male powwow dancers, most of whom were competing shirtless. I was pretty sure one in the background who seemed to be dressed in silver studded black leather was Comesflying. Subtle.
Another click and a picture of beautiful female powwow dancers filled the screen, and I was sure any bisexuals in the room were satisfied. He then flashed a HIV Prevention poster that showed a Native guy holding up a condom to another Native guy and underneath it read No Glove, No Love.
“We know that forty-six percent of high school students have had sex at least once, yet only 13 percent report ever having had an HIV test. That means a lot of guys in their 20s actually got infected when they were teens.” He kept clicking on relevant images and some cool animated charts. “Undiagnosed HIV cases are thought to be highest among young people. Of the approximately 1.2 million people living with HIV, approximately one in five, or 220,000, doesn’t know they’re infected. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that more than half of all undiagnosed HIV infections are youth ages 13 – 24.” I wonder what I would be like now if I had started having sex when I was 13.
A new image appeared on Homeless LGBT Youth. “I was looking at a report on the stats here in Portland. High-risk behaviors are common among homeless youth. Those behaviors can include high alcohol and drug abuse, suicidal behavior, teen pregnancy, unsafe sex, having sex with multiple partners, prostituting one’s self, as well as problems associated with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. Gay homeless youth, are at even higher risk because their sexual or gender orientation is more stigmatized on the street.” Another image showed a really rugged looking young guy holding up a piece of cardboard where he had printed Got Food?
“The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force calls gay youth homelessness an epidemic and estimate betwe
en 20 to 40 percent of homeless youth identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Portland has a disproportionately high number of gay youth, with 40 percent of its 2,000 homeless youth identifying as LGBT.
“Safe sex and other healthy behaviors don't make it up on their priority list because these youth are simply concerned about surviving. There is also a disconnect between the risk behaviors and how much risk youth thought they are putting themselves in. They report they’re low risk but they’re engaging in very high risk behaviors.
“For instance, half of the surveyed youth said they thought of themselves as being at low-risk for acquiring HIV, but reported having unprotected sex in the last 30 days. What they think is safe isn’t safe as it relates to potential HIV infections.”
“How come there are so many gay youth out on the street?” That was asked by the youngest looking White guy.
“One thing that's really changed over the past several years is the age when someone Comes Out. It used to be someone wouldn't Come Out until they were in their twenties or thirties. At that point they were usually