‘From what Gazza said in the pub it sounds perfect,’ Flynn said with a nod.
I leaned over, whispering in his ear. ‘Perfect for what, though?’
‘Bronco,’ he said. ‘Don’t worry, Riv. I’ve told you, it’s cool. We’ll be done in under an hour, then we can find somewhere to stay.’ He smiled and squeezed my hand.
I sat back. Flynn could smile all he liked, but nothing he was saying was reassuring me. A game called bronco involving cars and strangers sounded almost as dangerous as what we’d already been through tonight with Cody.
17
We drove for about fifteen minutes, quickly leaving behind the small town. Flynn seemed amazingly relaxed, charting away to the two guys up front like he’d known them for weeks already. Their names were Josh and Jonny and most of their conversation revolved around how ‘mad’ their mate Gazza – in the car in front – was . . . and how Flynn would never beat him at bronco.
I still had no idea how this game involving cars worked, but it sounded highly risky. Taking risks, apparently, was Gazza’s ‘thing’.
‘He loves pushing it to the edge,’ Josh said with relish.
‘Yeah, he’s crazy,’ Jonny added. ‘Total adrenalin junkie.’
I rolled my eyes. Why did some boys get so excited about what seemed to me fundamentally stupid behaviour?
A few minutes later we pulled up in a large car park which, as the boys had explained, was out the back of an old factory. The building was clearly unused and verging on the derelict. Keep Out notices were dotted everywhere. They reminded me of the notices at the top of the chalk quarry. It seemed impossible that Cody had held a gun to our heads just a few hours ago. Everything that had happened earlier today felt like a bad dream.
‘Okay so which car do we use?’ Josh asked, as Gazza emerged from the Volvo.
I glanced at his girlfriend. She was pretty, with short blonde hair and big earrings, but she looked bored. Well, that was something. Perhaps whatever Flynn and Gazza were about to do wouldn’t be all that dangerous after all.
The four guys stood in a huddle, sorting out the rules and arguing over who was going to drive the car in the contest. I smiled at Gazza’s girlfriend.
‘Hi, I’m River,’ I said.
‘Sal,’ she said with a quick smile back.
I wanted to ask her if she knew about the game the boys were about to play, but before I could say anything Flynn was by my side, drawing me away.
‘Okay, Riv,’ he whispered. ‘We’re about to start, wish me luck.’
‘I still don’t understand what you’re going to do,’ I said. ‘Are you sure you won’t get hurt?’
‘I won’t.’ Flynn grinned. ‘I told you, I’ve done this before. With Cody and some of the other Bentham guys.’
I shook my head. This felt so surreal.
‘Come on then.’ Gazza swaggered over. He was big, well over six feet, with a scar across his forehead and cropped hair. I hoped that whatever bronco was about it didn’t involve a fist fight. Gazza’s girlfriend seemed to shrink back into the shadows as Gazza loomed over us. He didn’t look at her. I took an instant dislike to him.
‘I’m ready,’ Flynn said calmly.
Heart in my mouth, I watched as Jonny drove him and Gazza to the centre of the car park. They stopped about thirty metres from where Josh, Sal and I were standing.
‘What happens now?’ Sal asked. She sounded as nervous as I felt.
‘I’m not sure,’ I said. ‘Don’t you know this game either?’
‘No,’ Sal said, fidgeting from foot to foot. ‘It’s your boyfriend’s idea. Gazza’s well excited about it.’
‘It sounds ace,’ Josh butted in. ‘Gazza’ll be brilliant at it.’
My heart drummed against my ribs as Flynn and Gazza got out of the car, then clambered on to the roof. Jonny stayed in the driver’s seat, revving the engine. I noticed all four windows were open.
‘What are they doing?’ My throat was dry.
Sal’s hand was over her mouth. Josh grinned.
Flynn and Gazza lay across the top of the car next to each other. They gripped the underside of the roof on the gap made by the wound-down windows. Flynn tucked his feet under the roof on the other side. Gazza immediately did the same. If Jonny, still inside, chose to wind up the windows, their toes and hands would have been trapped. But Jonny just revved the engine. Clearly this was all part of the game.
‘Ready?’ Jonny shouted.
‘Yes.’ Flynn and Gazza spoke at once. They both sounded tense and determined.
A second later the car raced away.
‘D’you get it now, Sal?’ Josh asked. ‘It’s bucking bronco, but with a car instead of a horse.’
I stared at the two boys as the car screeched across the empty car park. I couldn’t believe it. The game that Flynn was playing for two hundred pounds was recklessly dangerous.
‘Are you saying that they have to stay on the roof?’ I breathed. ‘While the driver swerves around and tries to throw them off?’
‘Exactly,’ Josh said with a chuckle.
‘Oh my days,’ Sal gasped.
I watched, my stomach churning over and over. Jonny, having started in a straight line, was now reversing. Flynn and Gazza had their heads down. Even from here I could see how hard they were both working to keep their bodies flat against the roof of the car.
Jonny moved the car forwards again, this time zigzagging at top speed across the tarmac. I glanced at the ground. If Flynn got thrown off the car he could break a leg or an arm landing . . . maybe even his neck.
‘Oh God, oh God.’ My eyes felt like they were on stalks as I willed him to stay on.
‘Come on, Gazza!’ Josh shouted out beside me.
The car was going faster and faster, the two boys on its roof a dizzying blur. Gazza’s legs splayed out behind him, his feet sticking out from the top of the car. My throat felt swollen as I prayed for Flynn to stay on, to be safe.
A huge roar filled the air. I couldn’t work out whether it was Jonny or Flynn or Gazza calling out. Only about twenty seconds had passed, but it felt like an eternity. The car swerved and spun, going faster and faster. An arm flew out. Was that Flynn or Gazza? It took a second for me to process it was Flynn. He was surely about to fly into the air, to crash to the ground.
18
I gasped as Flynn gripped the side of the car again. His head was down, his whole body tensed. Another roar and Gazza’s legs slid down, over the back windscreen. The car spun. Seconds fired away. Flynn was still on the roof but Gazza was half off the car, his hands losing their grip.
With a final yell, Gazza flew off the roof of the car. He landed on his side, metres away on the tarmac. A few moments later the car braked. Flynn lay on the roof, panting, then swung himself off on to the ground on the opposite side of the car. He staggered sideways a few steps, dropping to his knees. I broke into a run, racing over towards him. I was dimly aware of Sal and Josh running too, heading for Gazza, but all I could see was Flynn.
He was still kneeling when I reached him. I crouched down. His eyes were tight shut, his face pale.
‘Flynn?’ I leaned in close. ‘Flynn, are you all right?’
He opened his eyes. Colour was already coming back to his cheeks.
‘Fine,’ he panted. ‘Just a bit dizzy.’
I straightened up, my relief turning to fierce, hot anger. Flynn felt across the ground, then pushed himself to his feet. He glanced towards the spot a few metres away where Gazza was struggling to stand up, surrounded by his friends.
Flynn turned to me and grinned. ‘Hey, I won, Riv. That means we’ve got enough money to sleep somewhere really nice.’
I shook my head, now so furious I couldn’t even speak.
Flynn frowned. ‘What is it?’ he said. ‘You look mad. But I won. I’m fine. We’ll get the two hundred quid. I—’
‘You could have died,’ I blurted out. As I spoke, tears sprang to my eyes. ‘You took a stupid risk just to get us a bed. Don?
??t you get it, Flynn? We saw someone die earlier. And here you are acting like an idiot just so we don’t have to spend one night outside.’
‘So you wouldn’t have to.’ Flynn now looked bewildered. ‘I did bronco for you, Riv. I thought you’d—’
‘Don’t you dare make it all about me,’ I said. ‘I didn’t ask you to risk your neck like that. I don’t care where we sleep. I just wanted to have some time with you before we have to face the police and my parents and everything goes horrible again.’ Tears choked my throat. Flynn reached out, his forehead creased with concern. Infuriated I pushed his hand away. ‘Don’t.’
We looked at each other.
‘Are you saying you don’t want me to stay? That you just want to go to the police?’ Flynn asked, his voice hollow.
I hesitated. The truth was, I didn’t know what I wanted. My whole life felt like it had been turned upside down in the past few hours. And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gazza and Sal getting into the car in the middle of the car park. Jonny was already inside, Josh pelting back towards the second car.
I gasped. They were running away.
‘Hey!’ I shouted. ‘Come back.’
Flynn spun around. ‘Oy, you owe me!’ he yelled.
We raced towards the nearest car, but Jonny was already revving the engine. Seconds later it zoomed off. Flynn chased after Josh, but he was metres ahead. Another few moments and he, also, was inside his car and roaring away.
Flynn stopped running. I reached him. We stood, catching our breath.
‘Great,’ Flynn said bitterly. ‘All that effort and we don’t have our money and you’re mad at me.’
For some reason, the way he said it made me laugh. It just all felt so crazy, like we were living in some surreal dream. My laugh grew into a guffaw. I bent over, knowing that I was being hysterical but unable to stop.
Flynn watched me laugh, then a smile spread over his face too and, soon, we were laughing together. I reached out and held Flynn in my arms. Seconds later we were kissing.
Flynn pulled away. ‘So you’re not mad?’ he asked, raising his eyebrows.
‘Of course I’m mad,’ I said with a sigh. ‘Playing that stupid game was crazy. And pointless, as it turned out. But it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you.’
Flynn put his arm around my shoulders. ‘Okay, so we’ve confirmed two things: that I’m an idiot and that you love me anyway. Right?’
I laughed again. ‘Right.’
He squeezed my shoulder. ‘Then I guess we’re back on track.’
‘Except we have no idea where we are,’ I said.
‘Actually I do know,’ Flynn said with a cocky grin. ‘There’s a town called Starhaven about six miles away by road.’
I made a face. ‘Six miles?’ It was already late and the wind was picking up. Now that this afternoon’s trauma and the recent terror of the bronco game were over, I felt exhausted.
‘What’s the point in walking for six miles,’ I said with a yawn. I pointed to the abandoned factory on the far side of the car park. ‘We might as well just spend the night in there.’
Flynn made a face. ‘We can do better than that. Anyway, we don’t have to walk six miles. When I was talking to those guys in the pub they said this factory was just half a mile from the sea.’
‘So?’ I pulled my hood up, over my head, shielding my ears from the wind. Now Flynn mentioned it, I could smell the tang of ozone in that sharp wind.
‘So . . . there’s some coastal path that cuts the journey by miles. If we get a move on, we can be in a proper town with hotels in about an hour.’
Flynn reached for my hand, but instead of letting him take it, I shrugged. ‘What’s the point of walking anywhere, we still won’t have any money when we get there?’
A slow, sexy smile spread over Flynn’s face. ‘Won’t we?’ He opened the hand he had held out to me. I gasped. There, on his palm, were two scrunched-up twenty-pound notes.
‘Where did you get them?’ I asked.
‘They were poking out of Gazza’s pocket when we got on the car,’ Flynn said. He affected a modest smile. ‘I thought I’d better take them for safekeeping, in case they fell out.’
‘Yeah, right.’ I raised my eyebrows. ‘You were that sure you’d win, were you?’
‘I told you I would. Bronco’s an insane game, unless you know the knack of it. Which I do.’ Flynn chuckled as he shoved the money in his pocket. ‘Come on, let’s find the sea.’
I took his hand and we walked away from the factory and towards the road. It was deserted. We hurried along the kerbside until we came to a sign showing the coastal path Flynn said we needed to take. It was almost 10.30 p.m. now and the way was dark, firstly across fields then through a wood. The air grew chillier as we walked. Soon the fresh salt tang of the sea grew stronger. Another few metres and we could hear the roar of the waves.
We emerged from the trees on to a pathway that sloped gently down the cliff towards the beach below. ‘Look.’ Flynn pointed across the dark expanse of water that stretched away from us, to the brightly lit town across the bay.
‘That’s where we’re headed,’ he said. ‘Starhaven.’
We walked on, side by side along the path, our arms now around each other’s backs. It felt so natural to be holding each other like this and – for a while – our conversation flowed naturally too. I told Flynn about sixth form and making friends with Emmi again. He told me more about his life since he left the commune, how he’d rented his flat using pay from being Bentham’s bodyguard, how shocked he’d felt when he discovered just how brutal Bentham really was.
‘I didn’t really think about how immoral it was at first, hiding guns for Bentham,’ Flynn said, his voice full of self-loathing. ‘I only thought about helping Mum and . . . and that it would be hard to say “no” to my boss, that I’d probably lose my bodyguard job if I did.’ He hesitated.
‘And that your job paid a lot of money, which you didn’t want to give up?’ I asked, drily.
Flynn nodded, a miserable shadow haunting his face. ‘It was just so brilliant being able to have what I wanted: my own flat and the car . . . nice clothes. But none of it made me happy. I’d thought for so long that having money would make everything else all right, but it doesn’t, Riv. It just means you can buy nice stuff to distract you from how miserable you really are.’
We walked on in silence, lost in our own thoughts. Flynn seemed like a different person from the boy I’d met nearly two years ago, all mouth and swagger, certain he knew the answers to everything. He was still confident – and liable to do reckless things, as that game of bronco had proved – but there was a new humility about him too, an honesty and an acceptance that he had got things wrong in the past. It made him seem more open . . . stronger somehow.
And even more lovable.
It began to rain again as we strolled down the cliff, just a light patter on our shoulders, but enough to speed us up. The path narrowed and grew steeper as we descended. Beneath us the tide was out, revealing stretches of stony beach. I crept a little closer to the edge of the path, peering down at the sea many metres below.
‘There are lots of little bays down here,’ I said. ‘Do you think there are caves in the rock face?’
‘Come back from the edge.’ Flynn’s voice was suddenly harsh.
I took a step back, irritated. Flynn might be more humble than he used to be, but he still had a tendency to be overbearing. ‘I wasn’t anywhere near the edge.’
‘It’s dangerous. Cliff paths can crumble easily, especially when it’s wet,’ Flynn said stubbornly.
‘You’ve got a nerve,’ I snapped, turning to face him. ‘Lecturing me on what’s freaking dangerous. You worked for a gangster. You made friends with someone who has killed people for that gangster. You brought him to your sister’s wedding for goodness sake.’
‘I didn’t have anyone else I could ask,’ Flynn said. ‘None of my old friends would have come with me, and—’
&nb
sp; ‘Well whose fault is that?’ I said, the rain wet on my face. ‘You make it impossible for people to be your friend, you’re so spiky and rude.’
‘I know.’ Flynn clenched his jaw. ‘I know I’ve made lots of mistakes. I know I’ve done stupid, dangerous things. You don’t need to keep reminding me.’
‘Really?’ I spat. ‘Coming from someone who just spun around a car park on top of a car, I think you need reminding every second of every day.’
We glared at each other. Then Flynn’s face creased into a smile. ‘Mmm, you got me there.’ He held out his hand. ‘Come on, Riv, let’s not fight.’
I shook my head. ‘You can’t just wash over it like that.’ As I spoke I could feel my anger seeping away and a deep and terrible sadness taking its place.
‘I knew what I was doing on the car,’ Flynn insisted, letting his hand fall to his side. ‘I told you I’d be all right and I was. Why didn’t you trust me?’
‘Because last year you said you loved me and you went away and I don’t see how I can trust you after that.’ A huge sob rose inside me. It didn’t matter how much Flynn had changed, or how much I loved him. I could never get away from the fact that he’d left me. A tear trickled down my cheek. ‘It doesn’t matter what your reasons were, you didn’t love me enough to stay.’
Flynn gazed at me, his hair wet against his head, his eyes glistening. ‘It wasn’t that, Riv. I did love you, I do. I’ve never stopped.’ His voice cracked. ‘The real truth is that being with you was right, but everything else in my life was wrong. And because it was wrong I couldn’t see straight and the reason I got so angry was part of the whole thing . . . I didn’t think I was good enough to deserve your love.’
‘That’s a stupid way to look at it,’ I muttered.
‘I know,’ Flynn said, ‘but let’s face it. I’ve got a lot of form for being stupid, as you’ve just pointed out.’
I laughed and reached for his hand. Suddenly I felt better. ‘A year ago you’d have been furious if I’d said all that to you.’
Flynn took my hand and squeezed it hard. ‘You’re not the only one who’s grown up, you know.’