Desi lifted his head when I reached him. He offered me the second phone in his hands. “The cops found this down the alley over there.”
“Antony’s?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Interesting last call, though.”
I pulled up the call history and found a number I didn’t recognize. There was no name listed and I didn’t expect there to be. We didn’t assign names to anyone, ever. Pushing send, I lifted it to my ear and waited. It rang over and over again until a deep voice answered. “Figured you would call.”
Some of the dread that was knotting my stomach eased at the sound of Volkov’s voice. He wouldn’t hurt Scarlett…would he?
“Why’s that?” I asked in a neutral voice, unsure of what the Russian had to do with Scarlett being missing. I reined in the hold on my impatience, knowing that rushing this particular man would get me nowhere.
“Your man is okay. Took two to the kneecaps, though. Anya is a dead shot.” He grunted and I thought I heard ice clinking against glass. “You’ll probably want his head, though. He’s my man too. The idiot can’t do shit right anyway.”
“Which man?” I bit out, trying to wrap my head around what was going on. Not Paco. I knew he would never betray me by working for anyone but me, even someone who was supposedly an ally.
“Antony.” He slurred the name and I realized he was drunk. Ice clinked again. “She ran from me. No, fuck that. She didn’t run. Anya stole her away. Fucking traitorous suka. Why would she run when she knows I love her?”
I scrubbed my hand over my face, frustrated with the whole situation and losing hold of my patience. Behind me I heard Cristiano call my name but didn’t turn around. Dante said something to him, and they became quiet, watching me as I waited for Volkov to give me the information I would have paid any price for right then.
“Where is Scarlett?” I tried to keep my voice even and cold when he didn’t say another word, just drank more of whatever he was numbing himself up with. I didn’t pull it off, though, my voice cracking on her name.
Volkov swallowed audibly, taking another long drink. “Fuck if I know. Anya drove away before I could get Victoria out.”
My patience had completely run out now. If the man had been standing in front of me I would have blown his brains on the ground. “You’d better be telling me the truth, Volkov. Because if something happens to them, it’s on you.” I hung up. Swallowing a curse, I turned my attention on Desi. “Did you get anything off the trace on Scarlett’s phone?”
He nodded. “That’s even more weird. I was able to track her movements from the last hour. She went to some clinic over in Brighton Beach for a little while, then started moving again. As far as I can tell she’s on her way home.”
Brighton Beach. Russian territory. Anya must have taken them there. The clinic made no sense unless one of them was sick, but there were closer urgent care and ERs between there and Brighton Beach. She was on her way home, though. My relief was so strong it nearly knocked the air out of my chest.
Turning away from the three other men, I headed for the street. I felt physically sick after the scare of losing Scarlett again. Something was going on, but I couldn’t bring myself to care what it was. She was on her way home. Safe.
Nothing else mattered.
“Ciro,” Cristiano called after me. “What the fuck is going on? Where are my sisters?”
I didn’t answer. If I so much as opened my mouth I was going to throw up.
Scarlett
I sat on the couch with Victoria on one side of me and Anya on the other. Both were holding my cold hands. I needed their warmth after the phone call I’d just gotten.
After what had happened with Adrian and Antony, Anya had driven us to Brighton Beach where her doctor friend had been waiting. He’d taken some blood, then promised to call as soon as he had the results. We’d gotten all the way back to the apartment before he’d made the call.
I was pregnant.
“The hCG levels in your blood work show that you are either further along than you indicated, or perhaps having twins,” his thickly accented voice had informed me. “As you are obviously an identical twin yourself, the chance…” After that I’d tuned him out. Victoria had taken the phone and listened to what he said, but I didn’t care.
There was no way I could possibly be further along than I’d told him. Ciro had been the first man to touch me. He would be the last.
If he still wanted me.
What was I going to do? I’d promised him I wouldn’t bring up children again, that it didn’t matter to me if we never had them. It had been the truth, but now that I knew that Ciro’s child was growing inside me, I couldn’t be sad about it. I wasn’t happy either. How could I be when it could mean that I might lose him?
Vaguely I heard Victoria say something to Anya, but I didn’t understand their words. They were talking in Russian and my brain was too clouded to make sense of any of it. My sister shifted against me, placing her arm around me and resting her head on my shoulder. A soft throw was draped around me and a warm mug was pressed into my numb hands.
“Drink,” Anya commanded, and because I’d seen what she could do when tested, I lifted the drink to my lips and took a small sip. The tea was weak and sickly sweet and I quickly lowered my hands, only to have Anya lift them back up. “You need this. Just drink.”
Rather than argue with her, I drank it all in two big swallows. When I was done she set the cup on the end table beside her and tucked the throw around me a little tighter. She and Victoria were treating me like a small child, but I couldn’t think of a single reason to stop them from babying me. I was just thankful that someone was there to hold me together while I slowly fell apart.
A door slamming made Victoria jump beside me and I was finally pulled out of my fog enough to turn my head and see who had come in. Seeing Ciro standing in the middle of the room, his face gray and drawn, his blue eyes like storm clouds, I was jerked completely out of my shock.
Victoria jumped to her feet. “I can explain. I got sick and—” She broke off when he shifted his eyes to her and his head slowly cocked to the side. He looked dangerous. Right then he was a predator, I his prey, and he was ready to destroy my sister if she didn’t get out of his way. My twin’s mouth snapped shut and she looked over at Anya. “Maybe we should go.”
The other woman stood. “I’m not sorry about shooting your man. He deserved it.”
Ciro just stood there, not moving so much as an eyelash until the door shut behind them. I opened my mouth, ready to tell him everything, when suddenly he was in front of me and jerking me up off the couch and into his arms. He tucked my head against his chest and my legs went instinctively around him. He was shaking so hard that he barely had time to fall onto the couch before we both ended up on the floor.
His heart was beating at a crazy rate, his breathing coming in pants that made me wonder if he was having a panic attack. I hugged him tight. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Just… just shut up,” he muttered in a voice that shook.
I pressed my lips against his neck. “I’m sorry,” I repeated.
“Baby, I’m trying not to throw up right now, so, please…shut up. Let me hold you.”
I kept quiet. Tears filled my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. He was already upset enough and I didn’t want to add to it when I knew this was going to get worse when I told him about the baby. Or was it babies? I hadn’t paid enough attention to the doctor to remember. God, that was even worse. He didn’t want one, how would he handle two?
Slowly his heart calmed down and his shaking faded into tremors that assaulted him every few minutes. Carefully, I lifted my head. His eyes were closed and his face was still gray but not quite as drawn as it had been. He looked destroyed, defeated.
Blue eyes popped open. “Where were you?”
I swallowed around the lump in my throat that I hadn’t been able to completely get
rid of all evening. “I went to a doctor Anya knows.” His jaw tensed and I rushed on before I lost my nerve. “After what you said earlier today I had to know if I was pregnant or not. I couldn’t wait for a missed period, I needed to know now in case I was.” He just looked up at me and my chin started to tremble, tears filling my eyes as I prepared myself for his explosion. “I’m pregnant,” I whispered and closed my eyes.
The explosion never came. He didn’t start yelling. His body remained just as it had moments before. Cautiously I opened my eyes. His face had lost some of the grayness, and there was a glitter in his eyes that made my heart crack open. Was he crying?
“Ciro, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen. Please believe that.” He didn’t even open his mouth and panic started to burn through my body. The first tear fell onto my cheek but I didn’t dare wipe it away. “I love you and I know I told you we didn’t have to have a baby, but… I can’t get rid of it. Please don’t ask me to because I think it might kill me if you do.”
I was sobbing now, uncontrollably. My fingers clenched in his shirt, desperately holding on to him even though I knew I was probably going to lose him anyway.
Rough hands cupped my face, lifting my chin until I was meeting his gaze again. A few of his own tears had spilled free. “I love you, vita mia. You are my life. I would never—not ever—ask you to get rid of our child. Do you understand me?”
“But you said…”
“I’ve said a lot of stupid things in my life, none more so than what I said this afternoon. After the things I’ve done, I was scared of not being able to love my child, Scarlett. It was terrifying to think about it. Some of the things I’ve done…” He stopped, clenched his jaw and shook his head. “It’s made me hard. Emotionless at times. I’ve had to start turning parts of myself off, baby. I’ve become a monster. After a while I thought I would never get those parts back. That all I had left was just for you.”
My heart broke all over again for him. “You’re not a monster.”
Ciro wiped away one of my tears with his thumb, a sad self-decrepitating smile on his face. “Thank you for thinking that, vita mia.” He stroked his thumb downward until he reached the base of my throat. “I was wrong about not being able to love my own child, though. When you said you were pregnant just now, it was like I’d been hit with a lightning bolt of love.” His other hand moved to caress my stomach. “This baby will never know anything but love, I swear to you.”
“Really?” I breathed, unable to completely believe what he was saying.
“Really.” He had said it like a vow, his hand settling protectively over where I could picture our baby—or babies—already securely nestled. “I love you. I love this new life we’ve created together. It’s part of you, Scarlett. How could I not love it?”
New tears blinded me as I dropped against his chest, but these were different. They were happy tears that I couldn’t hold back without imploding. A sob-filled laugh escaped me as I held on to him and he held me back. I was drunk off relief that he didn’t hate me, that he wanted and loved our baby just as much as I already did.
I felt his lips on my neck. “No matter what I do in the future, vita mia, no matter what I have to do to make sure you and our child are safe, I will always love you.”
“I love you, Ciro.”
Epilogue
Ciro
It was the middle of the day and I probably should have been working, but instead I was lying in the middle of the baby-proofed living room floor with my daughter trying to fall asleep on my chest. Her soft weight couldn’t have held me down more if it weighed a ton. The smell of clean sweet baby that filled my nose was my new favorite scent.
Fighting sleep, she lifted her head, her blue eyes squinting before she gave me a toothless smile and drooled all over my shirt. With that smile she owned me even more so than her mother did. My heart clenched painfully, but I welcomed the discomfort. I’d never thought I could love anything or anyone as much as I did Scarlett, yet right there in my arms was one half of the proof that I could and did.
“Are you going to nap for Papa, my little Zariah?” I murmured in a soft voice that she’d always seemed fascinated with.
Her lips opened and closed, trying to talk to me, but no words came out. Instead I was treated to the slobbery raspberry she blew, making me laugh with delight. All too soon I knew she would start to talk and then walk. I dreaded those first little steps she would take, knowing they were only the beginning of her leaving me behind. Scarlett thought it was funny that I was already worried about our children growing up, but it was my new nightmare.
“Ciro, where…” Scarlett’s voice trailed off as she came into the living room and spotted me on the floor with Zariah on my chest. Her brown eyes softened and my heart twisted in my chest at the love I saw shining back at me. “Well, that explains her. Now where is the boy?”
I turned my head and she followed my gaze to where Zayne was trying to belly-crawl his way toward the couch. He hadn’t gotten far in the few minutes since I’d joined the twins on the floor, but there was determination on his face as he aimed for his ultimate goal. The twins were barely five months old, but Zayne was already showing signs of being just like me. I dreaded his future antics, but Scarlett was enjoying every second of our son’s escapades. His sister was a mixture of both Scarlett and me, which could be explosive at times, but she knew exactly how to wrap me around her chubby little finger.
Letting out a mock huff, she marched across the room and lifted our son into her arms. Angry blue eyes glared up at her for stopping his progress, but when she kissed his chubby cheek, his arms wrapped around her neck, holding her against him like he never wanted her to let him go.
Laughing, she tickled his stomach and then carried him over to join me and Zariah on the floor. With Zayne on her lap, she gave me a smirk. “I thought you had meetings this morning with the other capos at Papa’s?”
“Something more important came up,” I told her. There was nothing more important that getting to snuggle with my baby girl.
Her eyes were laughing down at me, but she nodded with complete seriousness. “So I see.” She stroked her hand over our daughter’s back, getting an angry cry in response because the baby thought her mother was going to take her away from me. Scarlett rolled her eyes. “Spoiled little daddy’s girl.”
I sat up with Zariah still on my chest. Rubbing my chin against her cheek made her giggle, which filled my heart to nearly overflowing at the sweet sound. Little fingers pushed into my mouth, wanting me to nibble at them. I gave her what she wanted for a few seconds, then reluctantly handed her over to Scarlett. Leaning forward, I kissed my wife on the lips long and hard, much to my son’s annoyance.
Pulling back, I winked down at her and then got to my feet. Vito wasn’t likely to accept that I’d been held up all day by his beloved granddaughter. I had responsibilities that required my attention. As soon as I walked out that door, I wouldn’t be the loving husband and father I was right then. I’d learned to leave that part of myself right there in Scarlett’s safekeeping, knowing that as soon as I felt her lips on mine at the end of the day that I’d be whole again and turn back into the man who worshiped her and our twins. “Love you, vita mia.”
“We love you too, Papa.”
Acknowledgements
There are so many people I want to give a shout out to. First and foremost, my readers. Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart. It’s because of you that I continue to write and as long as you ask for more, that is exactly what I’ll give you. Your love for every character I give you overwhelms me each and every time. LG, MC, and LJ…I can never tell you how much I appreciate you. The three of you keep me sane whether it’s real life drama or writing. Thank you for being the voices of reason and showing me that killing off a major character isn’t the answer when there are perfectly good secondary ones that can easily withstand a little torture here and there. Thank you, thank you, thank you
to my amazing editor, Lorelei, who has been with me since The Rockers’ Babies. She takes my crazy babbling and turns it into something worth reading. I can only imagine the migraines I’ve given her over the years. To my children, thank you for understanding that when Mommy’s in the cave, she’s probably lost her mind and shouldn’t be approached. For accepting that even though I don’t leave the house like other mommies do, that I do in fact have an actual job that requires my attention at odd hours of the day and night. And especially for loving me despite zoning out on you in the middle of normally everyday events because a new plot twist or character has entered my head. To the ever amazing Mike Browning, my husband and partner in life as well as work, thank you for helping me take my love for writing and turning it into a career. Without you, none of this would be possible. You’re there when I’m losing my mind and becoming so much a part of the writing process that I act like I’m going through some crazy breakup with a person who only exists in my head. I love you more than anything. Then. Now. Forever.
Upcoming Releases by Terri Anne Browning
A Rocker Series Novella
Needing the Memories (Drake and Lana)
Tainted Knights Rocker Series
Tainted Kiss (Kale)
Tainted Butterfly (Gray)
Angel’s Halo MC
Angel’s Halo: Atonement (Raider)
The Vitucci Mafiosos
Book 2 (Title coming soon)
About the Author
Terri Anne Browning is the USA TODAY bestselling author of The Rocker...Series. She started writing her own novellas at the age of sixteen, forcing her sister to be her one woman fan club. Now she has a few more readers and a lot more passion for writing. Being dyslexic, she never thought a career in writing would be possible, yet she has been on bestselling lists multiple times since 2013. Reese: A Safe Haven Novella was her first Indie published book. The Rocker Who Holds Me changed the tables and kicked off The Rocker... series featuring the sinfully delicious members of Demon's Wings. The Rocker... Series has since expanded to OtherWorld with Axton Cage and his band members. Other books by Terri Anne include the Angel's Halo MC Series as well as The Lucy & Harris Novella Series. Terri Anne lives in Virginia with her husband, their three demons---err, children--and a loveable Olde English Bulldog named Link.