He paused and eyed her intently. "It would've?"
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She nodded stiffly.
"Are you saying you wouldn't have broken up with me if I'd only explained everything?"
Ellie's heartbeat thundered through her ears. "Yes." She blew out a breath. "That's exactly what I'm saying."
Boston blew out a shaky breath as well. "Well..." he said.
"Hell."
He turned away as if to hide the regret in his eyes from her. But she caught a full glimpse of it anyway. She didn't know why that kind of regret caught her sympathies more strongly than anything else. But it made her weak toward him, kind of like she'd been ten years before.
"Boston," she whispered and lifted her hand to touch his back, but he spun toward her, not realizing she'd been reaching. Quickly she dropped her fingers.
His eyes looked a little glazed, almost crazed, as he stared at her. "I never should've messed with you," he said. "As soon as I learned how innocent you were, I should've just backed off and called it quits." Letting out a groan of misery, he glanced away. "Why did you let me go so far? Why'd you give me the tools to hurt you?"
Ellie shrugged helplessly. "Why do you think? I thought I'd fallen in love with you."
Boston looked down at his hands. "When you came back after we broke up. When you told me you were pregnant, I...I wasn't really mad at you, you know. I was mad at myself because I'd let you go, because I missed you. And to top that off, I was scared as hell. I was, in no way, ready to be a father. That doesn't excuse the way I acted. I never should've 242
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blamed you or accused you of trying to trick me into getting back together. I...I was a complete asshole."
"Oh, I knew that then."
He grinned and lifted his face. When she returned the smile, they shared a soft moment. For once, neither of them thought of the bitter ending of their relationship. But they both reminisced about happier moments, times when erotic discovery had been the most important thing between them.
Suddenly, Boston grew solemn. He stared down at his hands. "I don't want to be your enemy, Ellie."
She swallowed. "I don't want to be yours either."
"But there's so much history and pain between us. I can't... Right now, I can't see how we'll ever move past this."
"There are good memories too," she heard herself say, as if arguing with the hopelessness behind his words.
When Boston lifted his face and seared her with a hot gaze, all those good memories struck her at once.
"Yeah," he murmured. "There are. And they're making all this that much more difficult to deal with. I can't look at you without wanting...without wondering..."
When he stopped talking, the silence between them felt as thick and tense as pea soup.
"Maybe we shouldn't talk about it," Ellie said in a small voice.
He laughed harshly. "What? You think that's going to make it go away?"
"No, of course not," she agreed, looking down at her hands. "But, we've come to a...a kind of alliance. And I just 243
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don't want to do anything to hurt that. For Cassidy's sake, I think we should just stay as we are right now."
Boston looked like he was going to rebel, so she quickly added, "It might not be very comfortable for either of us, but at least it's peaceful. And that's what our daughter needs. We need to be cordial yet distant...for Cassie's sake."
The obstinate gleam left his eyes, but she could still tell he didn't agree. However, he still nodded and said, "You're probably right." Then, glancing away, he blew out a slow breath and turned to quietly leave the room.
Evening had fallen when Ellie decided she needed to find her daughter and see how Cassie was faring. In an attempt to avoid Boston and forget how close they'd come to...what, she wasn't sure—getting back together, maybe...she spent a few hours chatting with Boston's sisters and sister-in-law.
It was a shock to realize Shannon March—er, Shannon Kincaid—was nice. She even blushed when Ellie told the model she was a fan. Ellie couldn't believe how normal and down-to-earth all of Boston's family was. She hadn't met one person she didn't like. Cassidy was blessed to have such an amazing foundation. That was something Ellie had never been able to give her. But now her baby girl had roots and relatives and a base on which to make her life full and happy.
The sound of children in the backyard had Ellie heading that way. She spotted her daughter immediately among the racing children who were playing a heated game of tag.
Cassie's long black hair, held up in a ponytail, swayed behind her as she dodged out of the way of some boy whose name 244
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Ellie couldn't remember. She smiled and watched, grateful her daughter could experience this day.
She was thinking back to every holiday in their past, when it had just been the two of them, when laughter to her right caught her attention. Boston's laugh—she'd know it anywhere. Drawn to his chuckle, she glanced over. And there he was, sitting in a wooden outdoor recliner with his feet kicked up and a glass of iced tea in his hand. A few feet away, Cameron sat likewise with a drowsy Olivia curled on his lap and resting her face on his shoulder. He stroked her hair slowly as he said something else to make Boston laugh.
Then Boston glanced across the lawn to check on Cassie, and Ellie's heart wrenched in painful longing. Who would've thought he'd be such a good father?
"They couldn't stand each other when they were kids, you know?"
Ellie whirled in surprise and almost gasped when she found Diane Kincaid approaching her. Swallowing, she tried not to blush at being caught staring at a man by his own mother.
But Diane's gaze looked fond as she glanced toward Boston and Cameron.
"Well, Cam got along with him just fine," Diane amended then and finally gifted Ellie with an amused smile. "But Cameron can get along with anyone. Boston was the one who was always so annoyed by Cam. He just...he never cared for his cousin that much until Cameron's first wife, Sienna, killed herself."
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with new eyes. He ran his fingers slowly through Olivia's hair before reaching down to kiss her temple.
"He was only twenty," Diane murmured beside her. "And it nearly destroyed him. He turned to alcohol and slumped into depression. Everyone just..." She shook her head. "We had no idea what to do. But suddenly, there was Boston."
She grinned at Ellie like a proud mother. "I think it surprised us all that Boston stepped up and decided to be the one to watch over Cameron. It was the oddest thing, though.
Those two boys hadn't really even talked to each other when they were growing up, but suddenly, they were best friends.
Cameron straightened out completely once Olivia came along, but it was Boston who kept him hanging in there until she arrived."
Both Ellie and Diane studied the two friends, who chatted and argued companionably over something. Ellie couldn't help but soften for the man she'd once loved. It was good to hear he'd put himself out there for his cousin.
"I love my children very much," Diane murmured. "As much as any mother can love her babies," she added on a laugh. "But I haven't always liked them."
When Ellie glanced at her curiously, Diane met her gaze. "I don't know what happened ten years ago between the two of you. I don't know if he broke your heart, or if you broke his, or if you broke each others. All I know is that he changed after that. That annoying cocky edge he always had mellowed, and he became much more humble. I'd always figured it was because of the tragedy with Cameron's first wife. But now, I'm not so sure it was."
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Ellie dropped her eyes guiltily and braced for the rebuke.
But her eyes shot up when Diane took both her hands and squeezed. "I don't know what you did, Ellie Trenton. But it made him a better person. He became more cautious, and that broke my heart because it was that once-bitten-twice-shy kind of cautious. But he also became kind and compassionate toward others as if, for the first time, he realized the world didn't revolve around him. Whatever it was that changed him, I must say, it turned him into a damn fine man."
Ellie's eyes filled with tears. She was surprised to discover Diane's eyes looked watery as well. "Since you're a mother yourself," Diane said, "I know you'll believe me when I say thank you for teaching him whatever lesson it was he needed to learn to make him what he is today."
Too choked up to respond, Ellie only nodded.
"What's going on over here?"
Simultaneously, Diane and Ellie jumped apart and immediately wiped any proof of tears from their eyes. Boston stood before them both, frowning, eyeing his mother from head to toe and then turning to give Ellie the same intense probe.
"Everything okay?"
Diane laughed and bumped Ellie's elbow. "Just look at him.
He can't figure out who offended who, and which one of us he needs to defend."
Since the concerned frown on Boston's face made it appear that was exactly the case, Ellie grinned and decided she really liked his mother.
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"What're you two talking about?" he asked, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Not about you," Diane smarted back, making him scowl even more.
"Certainly not," Ellie agreed with a nod.
"It was mother talk," Diane reported airily. "You wouldn't understand."
When Diane hooked arms with Ellie's, making them a united front, Ellie almost burst out giggling. But the half wary, half worried look on Boston's face was so adorable the ice surrounding her feelings for him thawed even more.
[Back to Table of Contents]
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Chapter Fifteen
It was late when Boston finally pulled into Ellie's drive behind her old Toyota. Yawning and stretching, Ellie glanced in the backseat where her daughter was passed out cold.
"Look who wore herself out today," she commented with a small smile, all the while dreading the fact that she was probably going to have to carry seventy-five pounds of dead weight inside by herself.
Boston grinned as he put the car into park and killed the engine. "I'm surprised she lasted this long. If I'd been going full steam the way she did all day, I'd have been down for the count hours ago."
"Oh, to be so young again," Ellie murmured wistfully.
"No doubt," he agreed and let out a long, weary sigh.
"Okay, then," he said, rubbing his hands together. "I'll get the kid if you get the door."
Ellie lifted her face in surprise, her lips parting. "You don't have to do that."
He frowned. "Come on, Ellie. She probably weighs just about as much as you do. There's no way you can carry her."
Then he turned and studied his unconscious daughter. "Or, I guess we could wake her."
Ellie bit her lip. Cassie was an utter monster when woken from a deep sleep. "Are you sure you don't mind carrying her?"
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everything herself. It just felt...weird for someone to step in and actually offer assistance.
Boston sent her an odd look, like he was disappointed in her lack of dependence. "I don't mind," he said quietly and opened the door.
Ellie scurried to follow. Hustling ahead of him to the porch, she unlocked the front entrance. Holding it open for Boston, she tried to step out of the way, but the elbow he held jutted out to cradle Cassie still brushed across her chest.
They both lifted their gazes, and when their eyes met in the light of the streetlamps, liquid heat pooled low in Ellie's stomach. Ignoring the way her nipples hardened and her thighs tensed, she followed Boston down the dark hall to Cassie's room and turned on the girl's nightlight so he could see where to lay his sleeping daughter.
Once he had Cassie on the mattress, both adults worked to remove her shoes and socks. Then Boston stepped back while Ellie slipped off Cassie's jeans and shirt. But as soon as she had the child stripped to her underwear and the blankets pulled up to her chin, he returned to kneel beside Cassidy and press a brief kiss to her forehead. The nine-year-old didn't even stir.
Both parents moved toward the door together, but when Ellie noticed that Boston had stopped at the entrance to glance back at Cassidy, she paused as well.
"It gets you right in the chest when she's asleep like this, doesn't it?" he whispered. "I mean, it's pretty amazing when she'd awake and active. But when she's all innocent and 250
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unconscious, it's just...it makes this so much more real.
That's truly our daughter right there."
"Yeah," Ellie murmured.
As Boston continued to have his moment, Ellie's chest filled with shame. This was so new and fascinating for him, and it was her fault. If she hadn't kept him from Cassie...if she'd never lied, he'd have thousands of these moments collected in his memory.
The guilt ate at her.
He drew in a breath. "I better go."
Ellie nodded mutely and followed him to the door. As he opened it and stared out into the night, she finally spoke.
"You've got a long drive back. Are you sure you're going to make it okay? It's so late."
When he glanced toward her, her stomach tightened into a million knots. The streetlamp reflected off his hair, giving the black locks a blue-silver gloss. Suddenly, she remembered exactly how those locks felt. Realizing it'd been ten years since she'd truly buried her hands in them, her fingers itched for a mere touch.
It was on the tip of her tongue to invite him to stay...and not on the couch, when he answered, "I'll be fine."
Her hormones rioted, but she ignored them. Even her emotions screamed, wanting him to stay. She wanted to wash the guilt away by taking him to bed and erasing every lie and foul word she'd ever spoken to him. And God, she just wanted to be with him again.
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But she held her trap shut and obediently nodded her head. He stepped outside, and she followed him to the edge of the porch.
"Goodnight," he called when he reached the bottom step.
"Night," she answered and wrapped her arms around her waist to ward off the chilly breeze. "Drive safely."
In the scarce light, she spotted the glimmer of an amused smile crossing his face. "I will," he promised and started away.
"Boston," she whispered, almost hoping he didn't hear her.
But he did and paused, turning back. When she didn't speak, he moved back to the edge porch.
"Yeah?" he asked.
"I..." She swallowed audibly and moved closer.
He rose up one step until they were eye to eye.
"I'm not trying to disrupt the peace we've got going here,"
she said. "I swear, I'm not. But, please, I...I just need..."
She wasn't sure who moved first, but they came together hungrily. The kiss that followed could've shot sparks out the ends of her toes.
His lips were so soft and sure when they met hers, she melted instantly. Her itching fingers buried themselves in his hair. He growled deep in his throat and tugged her close until they pressed together, melding into one silhouette.
Mouths hot, breaths moist, they devoured, they tasted.
They delighted. It was absolute heaven. The pads of his fingers pressed against the sides of her neck, and Ellie moved restlessly closer.
She wanted to touch every inch of him and explore, discover how much he'd changed.
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As his mouth clung to hers, ten years dissolved. They were in college again, reliving that moment when their kisses had always caught a groove and slipped into a deeper connection.
They flowed into one being, giving as much as they received, reaching inside each other and taking a piece of the other that could never be returned.
"Oh God, Ellie," he said. "I tried so hard to forget you. I wanted you out of my blood. But the more I tried, the more I remembered. I have never missed anything the way I miss this."
His whispered confession stirred her, right up until that line, I missed this.
This.
Of course the only thing he'd think about when he thought of her would be sex. That was the only thing they'd ever had going for them. Any other kind of involvement had been taboo. And that was likely what he wanted again. More sex.
No emotion, no commitment. He'd already admitted to her today how he didn't want her to have any kind of power over him.
This could only be physical. And she would only end up hurt...again.
Boston slid his hand around her hip, nudging her against him. He was hard, ready. She yanked herself away, breathing heavily.
"No," she said, moving back a pace and putting space between them. "Th-that's enough."
He pursued. "It's not nearly enough."
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"No, damn it." She put a hand on his chest to stop him.
"Boston. I said no."
"Ellie." Her name rumbled from deep in his chest as he tried to come forward, but her palm held strong.
"We've already tried this once before," she argued.
"Remember how that turned out?"
"Yeah, with the creation of an amazing little girl who means the world to me."
The thrill his words had on her almost crumbled Ellie's defenses. It would be so easy, so simple, so sensual just to give in. No one had ever moved her like Boston Kincaid. No one had touched her, inside and out, the way he did.
And no one had hurt her as much.
It had been ten years, yes. His mother had proclaimed that he'd changed...for the better. He'd affirmed it himself and even admitted he hadn't one hundred percent cheated on her. But that didn't mean it would be different between them.