“I made a foolish mistake.” He looked back at the wall, dragging his finger along dusty book spines. “Everyone was dying. My family. I already lost my parents and sisters. My wife and baby were infected shortly after. The illness invaded the village, killing more than war and famine combined. It didn’t matter what we did, there was no way to stop it. It spread from house to house, slowly killing us. I watched my wife fade, as the disease destroyed her.”
He smiled faintly, remembering characteristics he admired about her. She was strong-willed, cunning, and loyal, but the thing that drew him to her was her kindness. Turning to me he said, “She held our son, refusing to leave him when he became ill, and she got it shortly after. I couldn’t blame her for trying to comfort him. I tried everything I knew of. Everyone had. And it didn’t matter. Every day was the same - more of us died. The funeral pyre grew larger and larger, burning from dusk until dawn. Very few of us remained, and we did our best to comfort and provide for the sick. But it was hopeless, Ivy.”
He folded his arms over his chest, mentally withdrawing, allowing the past to consume him. “One day a woman came into the village. She said that the apothecary in the next town had found a cure. She said it was even working on the little ones. The children died within days of contracting the illness. The babies were so frail then. My son was so close to death, and my wife would soon follow. I sat by unable to help ease their pain, watching them fade away. Losing them both would have been…” he paused, his eyes staring into the void.
“I took everything of value that we had, hoping it would be enough, knowing that I couldn’t fail. I had to convince the apothecary to give me enough to save my family. Three of us from the village set out, following the woman that night. We were desperate, and failed to see what she really was. Her eyes glowed crimson as she led us into a Valefar den. We were stripped of our belongings, overpowered, and thrown into a pit.” He looked up at me. “They used us for entertainment, Ivy. They said that the survivor would get the cure. I survived, but the reward was not as promised. Instead I had my soul ripped from my bones.” He said nothing for a moment.
My eyes were brimming with tears, as I listened in horror. I didn’t blink. I couldn’t. Every sensation he felt flowed through me. His face was expressionless, like he was lost in a memory devoid of emotion. But I knew that wasn’t true. He writhed internally, and felt so much pain that he’d gone numb from telling me.
He swallowed hard, “I killed the Valefar that made me. My rage gave me power that they lacked. The remaining Valefar of that den scattered. I went back to my village, running, hoping that I wasn’t too late. I had to be there with them.
“I felt the warmth of the fire before stepping through the gate. It was constantly burning, but I still didn’t expect to see what I saw. Her body was on the top of the pyre, lifeless. Our son was still clutched in her arms. His small face was gray and lifeless. I failed them. Completely. I brought no cure. I wasn’t there when they died. I watched the flames consume what was left of my family. But, tears didn’t come. Rage filled me instead. Before I could escape someone saw me. The orange flames illuminated his face, and as he reached to comfort me…”
Collin turned to look at me. Misery filled his chest like it was an endless chasm, and poured out of him in unrelenting waves. “I was starving, Ivy. No one told me that I had to kill to survive. No one said to be cautious or to stay away. I drained him without realizing what happened. Then I ran, destined to become the atrocity you see in front of you. “I’m a murderer. Centuries of souls were condemned to die, so I could live.”
His shoulders slumped as he looked away from me, pressing his eyes closed to try and seal out the pain. When he looked back at me, his lips possessed the faint smile he wore so often—the one that masked his pain. “Demons like pain and misery, Ivy. They grant power to their slaves, phenomenal power. But, I would do anything to be free from them.”
Stunned, I couldn’t speak. I said nothing, staring at him, finally seeing the monster he told me he was. But I also saw the boy he was, trapped inside, suffering for eternity.
The Valefar curse was cruel, and unrelenting. Centuries had past, and I could feel the horror that flowed through his veins as if it happened yesterday. “You’ve never said that before, have you?” I asked.
He shook his head, turning his back to me. Shame washed over him. Weakness threatened his control, and his natural Valefar instincts flared. He closed his eyes drinking in my subdued scent, warring internally. The Valefar within him wanted my soul so badly, but he would not let his flesh concede. Collin was much stronger than me. I hadn’t his control, and I couldn’t have survived his losses, or accepted his fate. And yet, I was standing there with him, similar but different. I could suppress my Valefar so far that it was almost non-existent. He couldn’t.
I swallowed hard, thinking he must hate me. Collin turned to me slowly answering, “Never think that. How could I possibly hate you? You are the only good thing that has happened to me in nearly a millennia. But Ivy, I must constantly fight to override my desires. Your scent is a hundred times greater than mine, because there is a live soul in your body. It blinds me at times. I’m afraid that I’ll lose control - and kill you.”
“You won’t, Collin.” I assured him, but he wouldn’t listen.
“It’s not like that. And now you know. I still own a tiny fraction of who I was. I fought to keep it, and it’s what protects you. But the demon blood is all that flows through me, and it constantly wants to destroy you.” He breathed in deeply, his saddened gaze locking with mine. “I’m teaching you how to use the Valefar’s greatest strengths to protect you from your greatest enemy. Me.”
Shaking my head, I walked toward him, “I don’t believe you’re my worst enemy. Jake is. Not you.” There was no doubt in my mind.
He shook his head, and turned toward me. “No. It’s me. Because you feel like you know me—you won’t defend yourself the same way. If Jake attacked you, your rage will destroy him. I can feel it in you. It will protect you, but the ideals you hold up to me—they will kill you. You can’t trust me, Ivy. You must always think I might turn on you at any moment, because I might. And if I do, I won’t be able to stop.”
Heart pounding at his admission, I swallowed hard. I didn’t want his words to be true, but I felt them resonate inside of me. It wasn’t a matter of belief or will power. It was the way things were. Reluctantly, I agreed. “I believe you.”
We stared at each other, saying nothing for several moments. His tormented past allowed him to understand me in a way that I didn’t think was possible. He lost everything - his loved ones and his freedom. His fate was so similar to my own. I would lose everything when the prophecy came true. Knowing his pain and all he survived made me feel like I could survive whatever was ahead of me.
“Teach me what’s next,” I said with more conviction than I felt.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Shaking, I rose from my seat, and said, “I could use a pizza. And a lot of soda. No diet crap. Regular Coke. Will someone deliver it all the way out here?”
Collin’s eyes turned to me from his chair across the room. “It’s still too early. We worked through the night and nobody’s open yet.” We’d worked all through the night and I still couldn’t do the next thing he was trying to teach me. “I’ll get you whatever you want, as soon as you get this. You have to at least pull the shadow into your hand.”
My tired body slumped upside down in a chair with my head hanging upside down. My feet dangled off the back. “I can’t do it. It’s too hard.” I clawed at my hair, beyond feeling frustrated, and righted my body. The blood flowed away from my head making me woozy. I almost fell out of the chair, but didn’t. Collin smiled, leaning back into his seat. His dark hair fell across his eyes as he tried to hide his amusement. He liked my flaws for some reason. Clumsy wasn’t the new sexy, so I wasn’t sure what he was impressed with.
Irritated, I shoved my hair out of my face. Everything else had bee
n so easy for me, but this wasn’t. It reminded me of my failure to call light. Maybe I just sucked at all this stuff. I didn’t understand how shadows would come to me. That sounded impossible; until Collin reminded me that the shadows bound me to the ground the night Jake attacked me. If I could call them, I could control them, and free myself.
I hated that I couldn’t get it, but I wasn’t making any progress.
“Try again,” he said as he leaned forward, gazing at me.
“Fine.” I pouted. I held out my hand, palm up, pressing my other hand to the ruby ring. Apparently this was the remedial way of calling shadows. I felt the sharp edge of the stone beneath my skin, and rubbed my finger slowly over it. With my mind, I reached for the nearest shadow not really understanding how I was supposed to make it move. It was attached to a lamp and melded with the bookcase shadows. Pressing my eyes tightly closed, I saw the blackness and felt the coolness fill my palm.
Collin’s voice brushed my mind, Now tell it where you need it to go. It has to obey you. Demons are not slaves to shadows.
Opening my eyes, I gazed at my palm. A frigid sensation started to crawl up my spine and I startled, almost losing the shadow I’d been coaxing.
“That’s what it feels like. Shadows are ice cold. One is responding to you. Now call it into your palm.” Collin walked over to me, shivering, feeling the cold through the bond.
I nodded, trying to do what he asked. The cold enveloped me, finally licking at my throat with frost and chilling my eyes, forcing me to blink. I felt molten snow in my palm, but couldn’t see anything yet. It felt as if the shadow slid through me to go where I commanded. Why did demons insist on doing things this way? Their powers were great, but they made sure pain was associated with the power. As I gazed at my palm, I saw something pooling in the center like liquid night. I held it there, asking, “Now what?”
Collin stood over my shoulder, excited that I’d gotten this far. “Hmmm. Let’s do something easy first. Can you mold it? Make it change shape?”
The coldness licked my throat, grossing me out as I commanded the shadow into sphere. It floated above my palm, as I separated it into a sphere within a sphere—the thing Eric asked me to do with light. “Like that?”
He sounded excited, “Yes. Good. Good. Now shift it back to its natural form.”
“What would that be? The pool of ink?”
Collin nodded, “Yes. Shadows are fluid, so they look like liquid when you call them.” The sphere melted back into an inky pool. My fingers were numb. The shadows coldness was an unearthly coldness—like a creepy sensation that spreads over your skin, giving you goose bumps when you get creeped-out. It was like that, but a hundred times worse.
I held the pool, not looking away from it. “How do I get rid of it?”
“You can release it, but I want to try something else. See if you can make it affect me.”
I looked up at him, startled, “You want me to hurl it at you?”
“No,” he smiled, “I want you to see how much you can control it, and how much a little shadow can do. You can call larger shadows, but you need to have an idea of the strength of the one you are holding. It will allow you to judge how much you need.” He paused for a moment, waiting for me to glance at him. “Ivy, attack me.”
I scoffed, “Yeah, as much fun as that sounds—this is a puddle. What can it do?”
“It can do anything you want. You can’t hurt me with a shadow that size. Come on. See if you can restrain me if you’re too chicken for a full on attack.” The corners of his mouth curved sharply up. I could feel his pulse increasing through the bond.
“I don’t know.” I wanted to release the shadow, but I didn’t want to hurt Collin.
“You won’t hurt me,” he waved me toward him. “Come on. Start small. Try to restrain me. Push me away from you, and then do something creative.” His eyes were sparkling.
“How do I release it? In case stuff goes screwy?” I asked, liking the idea of doing something creative.
He took a step towards me, and whispered in my ear, “You release it. Just let go, and it will retract to the thing it was originally attached to.” His breath was warm. My stomach flip-flopped, as I pressed my eyes closed. Breathing deeply, I reopened them to see him step away.
Protecting my cupped hand like it was holding liquid gold, I looked at Collin wondering how to make liquid push him back. It would just slide all around him. He stood there, smiling, waiting for me to act. His blue tee shirt was untucked from his dark jeans. His leather jacket was hanging over the chair. His arms flexed, waiting for me.
Unsure, I stepped toward him so that we were nose to nose. I gazed into his eyes as I tilted the liquid out of my hand, pouring it over his hands. His wrists suddenly snapped together like they were bound by two huge magnets, as he was dragged backwards to his chair. I flicked my wrist, still holding the shadow like a piece of string and pulled hard. Collin laughed as his chair spun like a top, with his wrists still bound together in his lap. The chair spun so fast and hard that it made me sick to watch it. Smiling, I stuck my hand out to stop the violent spinning. The shadow slid back into my palm, even though I was no longer cupping it. It clung to my skin like it was my own flesh.
Collin was laughing as I kneeled in front of him. Smiling, I asked, “How’d I do?”
He tried to look up at me several times, but his eyes were flicking around the room like he was still spinning. “That was pretty good.”
“So what else can I do with this?” I asked as I made the shadow slide under the hair that obstructed his eyes, and push it back so I could see his face.
“Anything you can think of. The only thing it can’t do is attack another shadow.” He shook his head, trying to see me. I could feel his head still spinning through the bond, and sat down quickly. He laughed.
“So, how will it help me if someone pins me the way Jake did? I mean, if the shadow can’t attack the other shadow, how would I get free?”
“You’d attack your assailant. If you are both pinned, that usually stops the fight.” He leaned forward. “Shadows can take on the qualities of air, liquids, or solids. They are only trapped by your imagination.”
“Really?” I asked, an idea forming in my mind before I knew what I was doing.
“Yeah,” Collin looked up at me his smile fading as he pieced together what I wanted to try to do. “Ivy, don’t… !” He shot out of the chair, still raked by dizziness and staggered forward trying to stop me.
I held my ring hand out, the way I did when I materialized in front of Collin last night. But instead of transporting me to him, I wanted to make the shadow bring him to me.
Before he said another word, the shadow covered his body in a glistening black mist. I pulled my hand gently and Collin’s body disappeared into the air, though I still felt him moving toward me. I opened my palm and the black mist poured out of my hand into the sparkling shape of Collin Smith. His body shimmered and I felt his palm solidify in my grip. He looked stunned as I smiled at him. I assumed that I was doing baby Valefar tricks, which didn’t match the look of shock on his face.
“What?” I asked not liking the way he was looking at me. He took short ragged breaths and stared at me. I released the shadow, and it shrank back, taking the cold with it. Collin’s hand felt warm in my grip. I squeezed it gently. “Collin, what’s the matter? I thought I did good?”
He nodded, “You did, it’s just that… Valefar can’t do that.” Stunned, he stared at me, not releasing my hand. He breathed in again, catching my scent now that the shadows receded.
“But, I just did? I don’t understand.” I said shaking my head. I pulled my hands to my chest, a nervous tic to subdue my pounding heart, but Collin’s hand was still in mine. Instead of steadying myself, I made my pulse skyrocket. I trembled.
What was happening? Why was his touch affecting me?
His scent filled the air, making my mouth water. I closed my eyes, attempting to release his hand, but he wouldn’t let go. Taki
ng a step closer, he covered my hands with both of his hands.
His eyes shone, “If you are the Prophecy One, then you have unique powers, and abilities that I lack.” He smiled at me, not breaking my gaze. “Ivy, your eyes are rimming. They’re violet.” He leaned his head down, as his breath washed over our tangled hands.
“Rimming? What do you mean?” I asked. I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t release his hand. I couldn’t move. The bond felt like it glued me to him, and the sensations flooding between us were increasing. I was too dazed, enjoying it too much to realize I should be concerned.
He pressed his forehead against mine. Smiling he said, “It means you want something. Very badly.” He watched me as he drank in the euphoria that surrounded us. “What are you lusting after Ivy?”
Startled by his words, I flinched. “Nothing,” I lied. “I don’t want anything.”