Reaching out, I felt for it with my mind. Through the shadows, and glistening slime in the pit, I saw it in the wall at the top of the rim. Swallowing hard I focused. The cold corpse-like fingers of the shadow didn’t like the flames licking my stomach, as I attempted to efanotate the pendant into my hand. The shadows tried to recoil as the flames traveled through my body, but I fought to hold them.
I screamed out as the two manifestations of evil warred within me, but I released neither. They were slaves, like all Valefar, and had to do what they were told. I bid the necklace to appear in my palm. As the feeling of being burned alive and consumed by cold death covered my body, I doubled over, clutching my stomach. I was combining things that didn’t want to go together, forming a new kind of torture. Pressing my eyes closed as tightly as possible, I held onto the heat knowing that in a few seconds the pendant would be in my palm. I just had to be strong enough to call it and hold the shadows at the same time. Fire burned through my bones and icy death stroked my twitching muscles. I cried out again.
Soon. I’ll have it soon. Don’t let go. The voices around me no longer made sense. It sounded like I was in a tunnel and they were far away. I could no longer hold my palm open, waiting for the necklace. My fists closed, as my body was raked with pain. I crouched on the ground refusing to release either power. A scream rose up from my throat as the fire seared, white hot, and then faded. The fist that I had clenched so tightly that my nails pierced my flesh was holding something. I forced my fingers to uncurl. Apryl’s necklace was in the center of my palm.
I felt my body failing fast. The shadows had been fighting the heat so intensely that they did not stop when the heat receded. The shadow’s frozen nature threatened to consume me whole. My body shook as I tried to stand. Holding my trembling body upright, I open my palm and commanded the shadow, “Go.” It knew what to do. The shadow left my palm in a wide black ribbon, as cold traveled up my throat tore out of my mouth. Although it looked like the shadow flew from my hand, my body felt like it was being ripped from my stomach, slicing its way up my throat, and out of my mouth. Demon power was painfully cruel.
I tried to push back the hurt, but the shadow had grown so intense that I couldn’t. I closed my eyes, as it wound its way around the pit, starting at the center. Ribbon after ribbon was laid down forming a black barricade. When I opened my eyes only the rim was left open uncovered, and the shadow was quickly closing it. The last black ribbon touched the edge of the salt circle on the far side, beginning to seal the portal.
The ground shook, as the demons raced faster to the top. The walls of the pit began to crumble and fall in. Each time the outer edge crumbled, it was replaced with solid ground, and the salt circle shrank. The portal was closing itself. Breathing raggedly, I held the shadow until the circle collapsed. I had to be sure.
The demon that had spoken to me before was at the rim, trapped under a black film. “Queen. Collin Smith lives. And you will be Queen.” His gurgling voice was hushed when the ground covered over him, and sealed the hole.
Shaking, I swallowed hard, and opened my palm to release the shadow. Its frigid hold on me was stripped out of my throat, making my spine arch in a painful response. It left my body and flew back into the ground in front of the church. I collapsed. It was so cold. I was barely aware of the others around me. Haze filled my vision, as I tried to hold my eyes open. My face lay against the frozen earth, and a nearby light faded into a beautiful pale blue. Then the blackness engulfed me.
Slowly, I opened my eyes, trying to figure out where I was. I was no longer raked with cold, although my vision was still clouded. I sat up slowly, and groaned as my body protested.
“Easy, Ivy.” It was Eric’s voice, although I couldn’t make out more than a shadowy outline of him.
“What happened? Where am I?” My voice was raspy and it hurt to speak. It felt like I was lying on a hard cot.
Eric’s blurred form sat across from me. “We’re at Al’s church. We took you back here when you didn’t come to.”
“How long? How long have I been out?” I rasped, rubbing my eyes. Why wouldn’t they focus?
“A few days.” He said softly. “I was worried you weren’t going to wake up. Are you all right?”
I didn’t know. Quietly, I sat there for a moment, blinking, forgetting that I would never forgive him. My vision wouldn’t clear. I swallowed hard, “I can’t see. Everything is hazy.”
Eric sat next to me. His hands were on my face, as he said, “Let me see.”
His face was very close to mine. I could feel his warm breath, but I couldn’t see him any better. My heart raced as I started to panic because my eyes refused to focus. Finally I asked, “What happened to me?”
Eric said, “You saved everyone. It’s making Julia’s head spin, since she thought you were supposed to be evil.”
I gave a little hollow laugh. “I’m stupid. Not evil.”
“No, you’re not. I told you already. You’re smarter than anyone I know.” He paused, and took my hand. I didn’t pull away, although dread pooled in my stomach. He said, “I need to tell you something, but I want Shannon to take a look at your eyes first. Please Ivy. I need to talk to you. Okay?” I said nothing, turning away from him. He sighed, and walked away. My heart sunk. He wanted a chance to explain what happened with Apryl. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know. I couldn’t take more heartbreak. It wouldn’t undo what was done. She was dead, and somehow he was responsible.
Shannon and Al came into the room, followed by Eric. Julia snapped for Eric. He left, following her down the hall. I said, “She doesn’t sound happy.”
“She’s never happy,” Shannon said softly. “Let me look at your eyes.” Shannon’s hands were on my face before I could say anything. She turned my head, shining a tiny light into my eyes. The pinpoint of light cut through the haze, slowly melting it away. I sat very still, wondering how she did that. I expected to see a laser in her hand, or something similar, as the haze that distorted my vision melted away. But, instead I saw a tiny orb of pale blue light. She prodded the light, moved it, and poured it onto my eyes. When she was done, my vision was restored.
I blinked at her, stunned. “How did you learn to do that?”
She shrugged, “I didn’t. It’s innate. When someone needs healing, a Dyconisi knows what to do.” She smiled at me, and threw her arms around my shoulders. “I’m glad you’re here.”
I hugged her back and said, “Me too.”
When she released me, she said, “That thing lied, you know?” Her green eyes looked worried. I nodded, unable to answer. I wanted to believe that Collin was alive. But I couldn’t. The sadness of that certainty clung to me.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
I sat at the St. Bart’s with Sister Al. In the past month, she’d helped me adjust. Most of the Martis left, Julia went back to Rome, and life resumed. I grieved as we buried my mom, and sorted out what was left of my life. It wasn’t much. Mom had left me some money, so I didn’t have to live in a box. But I lost everything.
And everyone.
All the memories, the things I had from my mom and sister—they all burned. There wasn’t even a photograph remaining. The only thing I had left was the necklace, and comb that Apryl gave me. Shannon had saved them the night of the battle. I was so consumed by shock when Collin went over the edge that I didn’t notice he’d left them behind.
Everyone I loved was gone. My family was dead. I was alone. I suddenly had no past, as well as no future. The sting of death was trying to catch up with me. I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want think about shirking off my mom, or my last angry words to Collin. Guilt gnawed at me constantly. I kept moving, trying to push it away.
Sister Al held a steaming teacup in her hand. She’d given me one too, but mine held steaming cocoa. I inhaled the vapor. Al’s wrinkled skin had a rosy complexion again. She looked worn after the battle, but seeing Jenna Marie—who was her missing boss and best friend—helped her rebound quickly. Jenn
a Marie’s task had also been to find me; the Prophecy Girl. She determined the location that I would originate almost two-hundred years ago, and waited until I showed up. She had the patience of a saint. No wonder why she was so perky. It turns out that is why the area had so many Valefar and Martis. They were all waiting for me, the Prophecy One to show myself. As if I’d wanted the job.
After Shannon healed me, everyone left quickly. They had to report what happened to the Tribunal in Rome and decide how to proceed. It was clear that I fought for the Martis, but after expecting to destroy me for over two thousand years, it required a lot of paper work to get everyone on the same page. Julia disappeared, taking Eric with her. I didn’t get to hear what he had to say. I assumed he’d be back, begging me to listen. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to, but after what happened with Collin, I was willing to admit that I didn’t know everything. Actually, I was willing to admit that I knew less than I did before all this started.
Al’s voice cut the silence, “So, are we gonna keep ignoring it?”
A sad smile tugged at my lips, “Ignoring what?” It’d been like this every day for a month. I didn’t go to school. I didn’t have to once they found out my Mom died. No one noticed that I’d ditched the field trip, either. Social services left me alone since Al claimed me. I let her. I had no other family. The school didn’t expect to see me again until after Christmas, which was fine with me. So, I spent my afternoons like this; sipping hot liquid with an old lady.
“The prophecy,” she said.
I leaned back into my chair. “I hadn’t thought about the prophecy.” I didn’t want to.
“Well, here’s something you may want to think about. What if everyone was wrong? What if the prophecy didn’t mean what we thought it did?” she asked.
My mouth hung open, as I put my cup on the table. “What are you talking about? Of course it was right. That thing even told me I would be its queen. I know you heard it.” I shivered. That demon scared me. A vivid memory of the sound of its voice, and the smell of its breath, hit me. The realness of that creature made my vision of being the demon queen way too real.
“Yes. I heard it. It said you will be queen.” She paused, sipping her tea. “You know, there is only a single ruler in the Underworld at a time—a king or a queen. The only ruler that I have ever known is Kreturus. His reign spans my lifetime and more. He’s cruel—vile beyond words. Since you have Valefar abilities, you must have noticed the price of his power. Everything is paid in pain, misery, and agony. There is no rest, no peace for his kind.
“But, right now I sit across from a girl, who is part of his lineage, and is more powerful than he ever was—even though she is still young.” She smiled at me, “And the things that have been laying the path to your dark fate are not things that were malicious or evil—they are actions that originated from love and kindness. Ivy, we thought the Prophecy One would be more powerful and more evil than Kreturus. But, how can that be true when the child I see sitting in front of me is you?”
I didn’t know what to say. Tears stung my eyes, and before I could blink one away it rolled down my cheek. “It doesn’t matter what I do, does it? That’s still my fate. There is nothing I can do to stop it. I tried and failed.”
“Ah,” she said, “but perhaps stopping it shouldn’t be the goal?” I wiped the tears from my face and stared at her unbelievingly.
“You think I should just accept my fate? How can you say that? You know what it means. I’ll be trapped in the Underworld, with no friends and no family. I’ll be alone forever, becoming something that I don’t want to be.” My chest felt hollow as the words poured from my heart. My destiny cost me everything. Accepting it meant Mom and Collin died in vain. No, I couldn’t accept it.
“That’s the part that I think we got wrong. It was assumed that you would continue in Kreturus’ footsteps, but the prophecy doesn’t explicitly say that. And I can’t see you becoming the Destroyer, not when you’ve fought so hard to protect the ones you love. Perhaps your destiny involves this dark place, but the person you become is still in your hands.” She sipped her tea.
I stared into my untouched cocoa, “It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like I have no control over anything. And how is a good person supposed to live in Hell? That’s not the way things are.”
“No? Are you sure?” she looked at me through ancient eyes. “I’ve seen some things that make me believe things aren’t as clear as you might think. I recently heard of an evil Valefar boy who saved a Martis girl, twice. Everything we know says that his actions were not possible, but that mark on your head says otherwise. Ivy, would an evil person give his life for you?”
I looked up at her. “No. And I don’t think Collin was evil. He was a slave, forced to do things he didn’t want to. When he resisted, when he refused to hand me over to Kreturus, it cost him his life.” My throat tightened as I spoke. I hadn’t spoken about Collin since the night he sacrificed himself for me.
“And what if he is still alive and waiting in the Underworld?”
My heart pounded. I couldn’t believe she was suggesting it. “You mean… what if he’s still alive? He couldn’t have survived that fall. And if he did… ” I closed my eyes. There was no way he survived the beast at the bottom, if the fall didn’t kill him.
“If he did, you have a good boy in an evil place. You see what I mean? Things aren’t so simple. You for instance, people will say you are evil because you have demon blood coursing through your veins. But, I know you to be a good person. Some may say Collin was a Valefar and evil. But, you also told me that you were bonded to him. There is only one way for that to occur. You both have a bit of the other’s soul. You both performed the selfless act of saving the other by giving a piece of yourself. Selflessness is not evil.” She sighed heavily. “Ivy, what I’m trying to tell you is that your destiny may not change, but the path that takes you there has not yet formed. I suspect your heart will pave your path, and take you where need to go.”
I heard every word she said, but I fixated on one thing. She thought Collin may be alive. “He can’t be alive, Al. I saw the pit. You don’t need to sugarcoat things for me. I know I won’t see him again.”
“I don’t know,” she answered. “When Shannon comes in, ask her about the pit. Ask her what she thinks.”
I shook my head. Shannon was very logical. Her answer would be obvious. “I know what she’ll think. She’ll tell me it’s not possible.”
“What’s not possible?” Shannon dropped her book bag on the floor. She grabbed a bag full of Oreos and a cup of milk. She was still wearing her school uniform. I looked at her, not wanting to say it. My palms were slick. I wanted to ask her. The uncertainty of his death was making me nuts. It was like he disappeared, but I knew better. He was dead. My eyes saw him fall. There was no way he survived. A breath caught in my throat. I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t hope it.
“Do you think Collin could be alive?” Al blurted out.
Shannon straddled a chair, and pulled the Oreos and a glass of milk in front of her. “Well, it is possible. The pit allows things in, but it doesn’t let them out.”
“What do you mean?” My voice shook.
Shannon looked at Al, as if to ask permission to speak of such things to me. Al nodded and Shannon continued, “The sides were black slime and spikes—I know they looked bad. But the story about the pit says that it was made to hold that thing—Kreturus. He had to get down there somehow—without dying. So, it is possible.”
That was the logic I dreaded. Right there. Uncertainty made me restless. It stole the sense of control that I so desperately needed. The clock ticked in the room. For a while it was the only sound I could hear. I stared, seeing nothing, dropping the cookie, floating it in my cocoa. I wished I knew for sure what happened to him. Jagged rocks were bad. But add the big demon at the bottom of the pit as a factor, and there was no hope. Holding out false hope almost destroyed me before. I kept waiting for Apryl to come home, but she never came. This fe
lt so similar. I just couldn’t believe it.
“Being a Seyer sucks,” I stood and dumped the rest of my cocoa in the sink.
“And why’s that?” Al asked.
“I can’t see the one thing I want to see. I just want to know for sure.” I leaned against the counter and looked at Al. “I didn’t get to say goodbye to him either. I wish I told him… anything. The last words I said to him were something along the lines of you suck. I didn’t believe what he said.” I grimaced, trying to hold back tears. I could cry later. “I didn’t know what he was doing. He hid it from me. Even with the bond. It was easier to believe the lies.”
Al answered, “Seyers don’t get to see what they want. Or what they wish. It’s a blessing and a curse. And you’re not just a Seyer. It’s time someone told you that.”