Chapter 2
July 29th 2010, 8:31 p.m.
"I just don't understand why. I mean, you've always told me you looked up to him. That he was like a father to you or something." I'd been trying to wrap my head around what Frank had said for some time.
Two years in, and I was still scrambling to make heads or tails of this life. Now, he wanted to change things. A 'purging', he had called it.
"I ain’t ever called him my dad, Harls," Frank growled from the shower.
We were sitting in a motel bathroom about the size of a closet. We'd stopped on our way to Texarkana to get a couple days of rest and for Chuck and the guys to handle some kind of business. When I asked him what business, Frank told me it was the kind I'm not a part of. It felt like a slap in the face. I wasn't sure when he'd started keeping things from me, but eventually I just let it go. I figured I probably didn't want to know anyway.
"Whatever. The point is he's someone you looked up to, right? Now you're planning some kind of… coup against him?" I pushed off the little sink and turned around, wiping the steam from the mirror. "I just want to understand why, is all. He doesn't seem that bad a guy to me."
"You wouldn't understand. I've tried explaining it to you, and you just don't get it. I know you think he's this great guy. That's my fault I guess, but really Harley, you don't know him. These people need to follow someone who's gonna be a real leader. Who can make the hard decisions needed and not take the easy way out of shit. He can't talk about becoming this powerhouse like he is and then sit on his ass and let shit slide by that make us look weak. It leaves us vulnerable."
He was right; I didn't get it. Make us look weak? Powerhouse? Frank had been talking about the Coyotes like it was an army for some time now.
The water squeaked off, and the room was suddenly quiet. I thought about what to ask him as he dried off—something that might get a direct answer from him for a change.
"What is it you plan to do, exactly, Frank?"
The glass door slid open, and Frank stepped out from a billow of thick steam. If he was trying to distract me, it worked. Water clung to his freshly scrubbed skin, drawing attention to every crease and swell of his upper body. Frank was fit. Not in a scary steroid-pumping way. His was much more subtle. A nice surprise hidden under his clothes.
The towel he'd dried off with was slung low around his hips, held up only by the grace of God, himself. I never thought I'd be one of those girls that let a hard body and a charming smile make my brain go soft, but here I was. Frank awakened things in me I never knew existed.
"Why do you care?" he asked as he stood across the bathroom from me.
"I… I don't know," I finally admitted. "I don't know why it's bugging me so much, but it doesn't change the fact that I want to know. I'm part of this family now. I think I deserve to know why the man we've been following around Texas is suddenly not fit to lead us."
"Oh, babe," Frank said with a laugh. It was the laugh that said I was being silly. Amusing. He'd been making me feel that way a lot lately, and I was growing less and less fond of it. "It's cute. Really. It's sweet that you consider yourself a part of our… family… after two whole years of riding with us."
I managed to ignore the way his bicep flexed as he ran his hand over the back of his head. Mostly. Even the power of his absolutely hypnotizing body couldn't withstand the surge of offended resentment beginning to swell inside me. Thank you, anger. "Don't talk down to me like I'm some stupid kid."
"But you are, Harley. You are just a stupid kid, and it's funny that you think you have any understanding of us. Riding bitch on the back of my bike doesn't mean you know a fucking thing. You don't." He stepped closer to me, and I felt my face growing hot with a building anger.
"Fuck you, Frank," I all but shouted as I held a hand up to stop him from coming any closer. "I care about you. And about the rest of these guys. Two years, two months, or two days; who gives a shit? So, yeah. If I'm going to go along with tearing down someone I've been following for the last couple years of my life, then I think I fucking deserve to know why and what's going to happen. Give me at least that much consideration or I'll just find my own way."
He stared down at me; his ribs just a hair's breadth from the flat of my palm, and saying nothing. I don't know if it was because I'd gone off on him or because I'd threatened to leave, but he looked down at me and let the silence fill the space between us. Finally, a little quirk of a grin tugged at his mouth.
"You're sexy when you're mad. You know that?" he said, and moved to wrap his arms around me.
I pressed my hand against his ribs and tried to keep him from coming any closer. "Seriously? I'm trying to have a serious fucking talk and you're going to pull that old shit on me?"
"Aww, what? You don't like it?" he said and managed to lace his hands at the small of my back.
I craned my neck to look into his eyes. My face was as serious and unmoved as I could manage, though his still-wet skin was making the front of my clothes damp. It was seriously distracting.
"What are you gonna do, Frank?" I asked, and tried to ignore the press of his hips into mine and the thought of how there was no way that towel would stay on if he kept this up.
He bowed his head and pressed his lips just under my earlobe on the curve of my jaw. My eyes closed at the feel of his breath, warm and tickling, on my skin.
"Nothing, Harley," he whispered. He lowered his lips again and laid another soft kiss along my jaw. "Paulie and me are just gonna talk to him. That's all." Another kiss landed at my chin and I sucked my lower lip between my teeth. "We're just gonna have a little heart-to-heart. If I was gonna do anything more, I'd have already done it."
"That's it?" I managed through a growing tightness in my throat.
I felt his pulse beating hard and fast against my palm and he wiggled himself between my knees so that we were pressed tight against each other. His heat spread over me, wrapped around me like it had arms and set out to touch every part of me.
"Yes," he whispered again, "but there's something else I gotta do first." His lips closed over my throat and he edged teeth over it.
"Yeah? What's that?"
He chuckled against my throat, his laugh vibrating over my skin and making me tingle in places far, far below my neck. His hands slid over my backside and cupped it firmly, pulling me up to sit completely on the sink in front of him.
Any arguing, any interrogating I may have been getting ready to do, disappeared under his mouth. He always had this insane power over me, over my body. If I'd had any friends back home, they might have told me it was purely physical, this attraction I had for him. It wasn't true. There was so much more to it. Unfortunately, with my legs wrapped around his waist and his hands sliding up into my hair, I couldn't think of anything else.
I felt a sharp tug at the base of my skull, and it opened my mouth with a sharp gasp. It wasn't pain that made me react like that. No. Far from it.
His mouth sealed over the front of my throat, his hand controlling my head so that he could bend it whichever way he wanted. He was almost animal in this part of our lives and it excited every part of me. All that dangerous bad boy thrill us silly girls just seemed to always be drawn to.
His lips blazed a hot, wet trail down the front of my throat, making a detour to nibble along my collarbone, and then finally nestling into the valley of my breasts. I leaned back, resting my head against the mirror that hung over the sink, and pushed my upper body towards him, giving him as much of me as I could. More. That was all I could think of. I wanted more. More of his lips, more of his heat, more of him. It was an addiction and one I was nowhere near willing to let go of.
While he nibbled at my breasts, my hand searched down his body. Fingertips played over the still-wet contours of his chest and torso as they traveled down, sliding between our pressed bodies and edging over the wet terrycloth that was keeping the rest of him from me. Between the movements of my hand and my lower body I managed to loosen the towel enough fo
r it to slip away from him and leave him nude and perfect in front of me. My hand reached further down, and I felt him shudder against me, his lips finally breaking from my body to sigh against my neck, seconds before a sharp knocking came from the bathroom door.
"Yo, Frank! You ready yet?" a male's voice shouted through the door.
"Fucking hell, Paulie," I groaned breathlessly, unable to keep my voice quiet through the pounding of my heart.
Frank stood upright, which sadly pulled his body away from me and left me melted against the mirror and sink. He snatch his towel from the floor and didn't so much wrap it back around him as just hold it in front of the important bits.
He reached for the door and whipped it open. Watching the muscles in his back tense and flex as he moved didn't help me gather myself any faster, but seeing Paulie's eyes stretch wide, his face fall when he came eye to eye with Frank... that did help a little. He looked scared. I would’ve been, too, if I had just cock-blocked Frank.
Paulie was older, near his 50s if not already ankle-deep into them, and a bit softer around the middle, but he could run with men half his age and not even break a sweat. His reddish-brown beard covered most of his face and pulled down into a thick braid that hung just past his neck. Though he was about my height, he carried himself much taller. He was the type that could broadcast 'I will fuck you up' just by standing nearby. He didn't even have to open his mouth for people to know he would be trouble, but to the right people, he was just kind and good-natured. I, luckily, was one of those right people.
"What?" Just one flat word, but Frank made it sound more like a threat than a question.
"Shit. Sorry, brother. You know I'm the last guy that would pull you away from your old lady's attention, but it's time to go. Chuck should be getting there soon." Paulie glanced over Frank's shoulder to me. "Sorry, sugar. Gotta steal your sex toy away."
I just rolled my eyes at him and hopped off the sink. The damp shirt felt awkward sticking to me now, without Frank's heat pressing against it. I plucked at it mindlessly until the men decided to unblock the door.
"Fine. I'll be out in five," Frank said and pushed his way past the other guy, not even bothering to hide his still very naked ass.
Frank was strange like that. In fact, most of them seemed to not really care about each other's nudity. Sometimes we parked and made camp where there are no showers. The guys had no issues jumping into the water to freshen up. If murky lake water can be considered fresh, that is.
When he left the bathroom, that left enough room for me to squeeze past Paulie as well and I took quick advantage of it. Paulie stepped back to give me plenty of room. Most of the other guys would have stepped closer or made lewd comments about my wet shirt. Paulie was good people. I felt like I could trust him not to be a total pig around me.
I crawled onto the bed and pulled a pillow in against my stomach, watching Frank get dressed and finding myself very disappointed about it. What the hell was so important that Frank had to drop everything—meaning me, primed and ready—and go? All the questions I had been wondering about before Frank distracted me with promises of sex came flooding back, but I was too wound up to ask now. Forget it. Let the boys be boys.
Paulie left the room and Frank sat on the edge of the bed, pulling on his boots.
"When are you gonna be back?" I asked.
"Tonight. Probably late," he said.
He twisted around and pressed his lips to my forehead before hopping up again. He was moving in quick, jerking movements. Something was eating at him, but I knew he wouldn't tell me.
"So, don't wait up then?" I asked, sounding churlish even to me.
"Wait, don't wait… I don't really care how you waste your night," he said. I decided, at that moment, to just drop it. I grabbed the clicker from the bed and turned on the television. He walked out of the room without even saying goodbye. Or I love you.
I hadn’t even gotten through one episode of Law and Order before my mind started to wander. I felt out of place without Frank here. Restless. He was right about one thing; I didn't need to sit around and waste my night waiting up for him.
I forced myself out of bed and pulled my hair into a long dark braid that hung to my lower back. Frank loved it, so I'd made a point to keep it long, but it drove me crazy getting in the way these days.
There were ten other people with us at the motel. I was pretty sure I could find something to keep my mind off the clock and all the things I imagined Frank doing behind my back. I headed out of our room and walked to the fourth door down, knocking on it loudly.
"Suze?" I called out. I wasn't worried about doing to her what Paulie had done to me and Frank. She was single—not because she wasn't attractive, or a hoot to be around, but because she wanted Paulie and it seemed like she was willing to wait ‘til the end of days for him to come around.
I knocked again and tried the handle. The door opened, and I stepped inside and found Suzanne blow drying her hair in the bathroom. The room mirrored mine, so I knew that her bathroom wasn't nearly big enough to maneuver around in. For the tall chick she was, I imagined it was hard to be in there for any length of time.
"Hey Suze!" I shouted, catching her attention over the loud hum of the dryer.
She clicked it off and smiled over to me, tousling those wild curls of hers with her fingers.
"What's up?"
"You going out?" I asked her, sitting on the corner of her bed.
"Nah. Some of the girls is just hanging out. Wanna come?" She turned back to the mirror and fixed her hair the way she wanted, grabbing a can of Aqua Net and giving her hair a good coat.
"If you don't mind a tag along."
"Girl, when've I ever considered you a tag along?"
"How about when you, Paulie, and I went to the bar last week?" I asked, smiling because I already knew what was coming.
"Now, that's different. I've been trying to get that man to myself for months," she smiled to me. "How's a girl supposed to get a man to notice her with you standing next to her, batting those pretty blue eyes?"
"Oh Jesus, Suze," I laughed, "you're freaking hot, and you know it. No competition. He wasn't ignoring you because I was there. He ignored you because he's fucking stupid and can't see a good thing when it's right in front of him."
She gave me a look that said she didn't believe a word, but appreciated that I'd said it. I guess men could even make knockouts like Suzanne second-guess themselves.
She walked up to me and grabbed my braid, playing with it for a minute before dropping it and jerking her head towards the door.
"Come on. We're meeting in Joy Anne's room," she said with a chuckle.
My head dropped and I let out a long, low groan. I stood up and sighed, following Suzanne out of her room.
"Fuck. Joy Anne? Oh, this night's just getting better and better."
"What's the matter? Don't like the H.B.I.C.-wannabe?"
"You know exactly how I feel about her," I groused.
"Just remember," she said as she slung an arm around my shoulders, "Frank wanted you. Not her."
Joy Anne was one of those women that grated against your nerves for a number of reasons. For me, the biggest was that she wanted to get her hooks into Frank. Since I came into the picture, she'd apparently gotten even more set on it. For everyone else, well, take a pick. Her abrasive laugh, her need to be in everyone's business handing out advice, the cheap perfume that repelled all manner of wildlife... she was just a bag full of charm.
The door swung open, and we were greeted by the eloquent Joy Anne sporting a big grin and dazed eyes. Her dark hair was pulled up in a messy ponytail, her makeup done up for vamp on the prowl rather than just a few girls having drinks in a motel room.
"Suzie-Q! Ya came!" she squealed. I happened to know Suze hated the nickname.
"Hey girl," Suzanne said stepping past her.
When Joy Anne's eyes found me tagging along behind her, the smile went out like a blown bulb. Oh, yes… this was going to be a grea
t night. Full of fun and laughter… possibly a thrown fist or two. Speaking of which, I couldn't help but notice a deep bruising just under her left eye. Shit. Someone hit her good.
"Hey, Joy Anne. I hope you don't mind. Suze invited me," I kept it as pleasant as I could manage. Go me.
"Whatever," she said finally. "We're just havin' a few drinks. Come in."
We were only forty-five minutes into the first round of Jagger Bombs and Whiskey Sours when Joy Anne had me cornered. There wasn't much room for me to avoid her in this shit-hole of a room, but I had made a valiant effort.
"So how's you an' Frankie doin'?" her whiskey-breath hit me with full force, which was saying something since I'd already had a few, myself.
"We're good," I answered simply, hoping to leave it at that. Of course, no such luck.
"Good, good. Ya know, I was always worried he'd never find himself a good girl. Not that I didn't offer," she said, giggling. It was that high-pitched kind that made my molars hurt, "but I think we both knew we had nothin' in common, really. Just great sex."
My neck tensed. I knew what she was doing. She'd done it loads of times before. Frank had insisted they'd never gotten that far with each other, and I trusted him. Mostly.
"Well, lucky for him, mind-blowing sex isn't the only thing we have together," I slung back at her, taking a drink. As I'd hoped, it knocked her big-toothed grin down a notch.
Suze and another girl were playing quarters across the room, and I tried to invest my attention on the game, but Joy Anne only seemed to have eyes for me. I tried my best to ignore her, which only seemed to push her.
Joy Anne leaned closer to me and whispered, "Ya ever notice how hard he gets when ya suck on his earlobe? It's like concrete."
My smile faded. I wouldn't have put it as crudely as Joy Anne had, but it was accurate. The fact that she knew about it was what hit me hardest. Frank had professed, over and over again, that they'd never been that close. A shared kiss while dancing one night and that was it.
I don't know if it was just being fed up with her shit, the three Whiskey Sours, or what, but it slipped out before I could think about what I was about to do.
"Yeah, I do. You know, he also said he couldn’t imagine sleeping with you would be any fun. Said ‘what’s the point of fucking something that's been so used and stretched out? He needs a woman with some grip.’"
"Ya fuckin' whore! What did you just say to me?" her voice exploded over the din, spreading a sudden silence through the room.
"I said Frank doesn't want anything to do with you or your sloppy ass, so you can quit pretending you two have been together just to try to piss me off." Strangely, I felt calm as I said it. I smiled at her and held her gaze. "Frank is in my bed. Not yours. That ain’t going to change. So go find some other guy to spread your legs for. Frank isn't interested or available."
There was movement in the room, but I had locked eyes with Joy Anne and wasn't going to be the first to look away. It didn't keep me from worrying that one of the other girls, one who had some sort of loyalty to her, might come up behind me, but I had challenged her. To look away now was probably the worst thing I could do.
"Guys, really? Come on, let the shit drop and let's have some fun," Suze said, trying to diffuse the situation.
Joy Anne did something I wasn’t expecting. Not in the least. She smiled. It was thin and empty, but it was a smile nonetheless. "Little girl, ya got no idea what Frank wants. Let alone what a man like him needs. You'll learn that soon enough." She looked away. In a way, it was a small victory. Very small, as her words repeated in my brain.
She relaxed back against the wall and held her cup out to one of the other girls. "Fill me up. I ain’t gonna let this get in the way of my good time," she said and the tension broke just a little more.
Things slowly returned to a relaxed state, and Suze pulled me aside. We sat in our little corner, playing a half-hearted game of quarters as I let my adrenaline fizzle out.
"Harley, you need to be more careful. Joy Anne might be a dumb bitch, but she's a dumb, vindictive bitch," she warned me.
"I'm not gonna just let her walk all over me. Sorry, I don't care who she is. I'm tired of her trying to come between me and Frank."
"I get that. I do. I'd probably feel the same if she was prowling after my Paulie. But, baby girl, you don't know what she is capable of. Just… be careful. Please?" Something about her 'please' made me look at her. There was genuine worry in her green eyes.
"Okay. I won't go looking for trouble with her but," I bounced my quarter and watched it fly off the table, "I don't think Frank is being honest with me about the two of them. I think there's more to it than he told me."
I looked at Suzanne, and she quickly averted her eyes. Did she doubt Frank's honesty too? Hell, for that matter, did she know something I didn't? I wanted to ask, but she grabbed a bottle from beside her foot and poured more Jack into my glass. By now, it had become mostly Whiskey and very little Sour.
"Let's just try to have some fun, yeah? The boys are off being boys. Let's be girls and just kick back."
I sighed and leaned back in my chair. "Yeah, fine," I said.
I was defeated, at least for the time being. What was I going to do? Call Frank while he was out with Chuck and them and tear him a new asshole? Accuse him of lying to me like some insecure little twit? The idea of just getting up and knocking the smug grin off Joy Anne's face sounded like a great way to entertain myself, but Suze was right. Why not just relax and have a good time?