*****
Thirty minutes later, a semi-comatose Toni was rolled, color slowly returning to his ashen face, into the rearmost of the infirmary’s two recovery rooms.
“Pathetic –” the medic said under her breath, her expression akin to pity, “– that a Suit driver could be so queer about needles.”
Toni tried to counter but his teeth were in his tongue’s way, and so he abstained from speaking. Instead he focused his attention on the ceiling, his head still spinning wildly. The medic tisked and finally made her way out of the room, leaving him to recover and think.
While performing the horrendous deed, the doctor had inquired about what would lead Toni’s family to believe he suffered from folic acid deficiency. Confronted with the cadet’s teeth-clenched silence, the doctor had continued with his procedure and his monologue, explaining how MEWAC had received an urgent letter from a certain Kaya Miura, declaring the need for her brother to begin supplementation as soon as was possible. The doctor hadn’t gone so far as to establish a direct connection between the letter’s contents and the present procedure, but there had been no need to.
He reminded himself to thank Kaya appropriately for her sisterly consideration.
“You fell too?” he heard from his right.
Slowly turning his head, he found Rakaia lying on her side on a cot. She seemed to have regained some of her color, and her eyes had the look of not being too far from sleep.
“Nope. Doc just poked a needle in my spine. We’re no longer in formation,” he explained.
“What’s the noise outside?”
“Gordie’s probably awake again. Must be making another try at Ian. It’s been a hell of an afternoon ...”
Toni recounted the events to his comrade.
“Oh no! This is just what I need!” she groaned.
“You weren’t even there, Kaia –” he began.
“Who cares?!” Rakaia interrupted hotly. “Since when has not being there been any excuse to stay out of trouble? For the error of few, many must pay, right?!” she recited before she realized what Toni was doing.
“Hey!” she suddenly exclaimed.
“... hum?”
“Stop checking me out, you freak!”
As Toni had been teetering near sleep, his eyes had begun to roam over the curves of her body. He hastily snapped them back to her face.
“Oh ... sorry. I’m just a little worn out,” he apologized.
“So that’s your default programming? As if you have a chance, gawker!”
“Maybe it is, I guess ...” he replied apologetically, trying to ignore the insult, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t think well of you. I respect you, Kaia. There’s a lot of buzz on base about you guys, but I –”
“What the hell do you mean by that?”
“That ... that Leiben’s attackers were Terminators like you. That there’s been a lot of unauthorized military development over there, which would be necessary for such an attack to even be possible. I don’t believe any of that, of course, there’s been too much focus on the iron mines ...” he added, disliking the murderous expression that had begun to form on her face.
“Stay off my side, gawker! I’ve had the entire base giving me the evil eye over the last month, but not even that has made me so desperate as to want you on my side!”
Her tone grated on his depleted nerves, her insults hitting harder than they ordinarily would have. He tried to hold on to his temper.
“I guess I didn’t make myself understood. Just because I was being friendly doesn’t mean I was trying to be your friend, Kaia. You Terminators sure don’t seem to need any ...”
“And just what the fuck do you fuckers know about the Terminator hub in the first place?!” she shouted. “Maybe we drink the blood of newborns, right?! Or maybe we’re born with horns on our foreheads, and need to have them surgically removed so that the decent, law-abiding gawkers of the central government don’t see our mark of the beast! Right?!
“And why the fuck are you calling me Kaia, huh? Are we buddies, maybe? Mates? Do you think you’re going to make friends with me if you give me cute diminutives? Want to get in my pants? Do you, Gaw –”
“I wouldn’t dream of pulling the pants off a bleeding sow like you, Kaia!” Toni heard himself say.
Rakaia blinked.
“For all I know you were born with a horn in your ass, and needed to have it removed so you’d be able to sit down and study like the rest of us. That’s the real reason you Terminators are illiterate, isn’t it? And how the hell would you be able to take a crap without removing it? Not sure I even want to imagine that, KAIA!”
Rakaia made to answer, but then paused and stared closely at him.
“What’s wrong with –”
“So you feel the eyes of the world on you? Do you, now? Well you’re not imagining it. People on base don’t trust you people, Kaia! I, at least, was willing to respect you. And I can still respect you, just as long as you’re willing to show a little gratitude!”
Did I just say that? he thought in astonishment.
He willed himself to shut up, and they stared silently at each other for a few moments. Finally, Toni let his breath out and slowly unwound, and before a minute had passed he was finally prepared to say the words.
“I’m sorry, Tani. It’s been a long day and I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.”
“What’s wrong with you?” she asked.
The question hurt him deeply and he was not entirely able to hide it. He spoke without thinking.
“I like you, Kaia. I mean, I like you in a way I really shouldn’t ...”
For a moment, Rakaia’s wide eyes remained fixed on his, unblinking, the tendons of her neck standing out in stark contrast to her soft throat. She seemed about to say something, but instead her body shivered as if a particularly unpleasant thought had just flashed across her mind. Finally she broke eye contact and sat up.
“Not if you were the last man on Thau.” she hissed.
A few moments passed by as Toni digested the statement. Apparently calm again, Rakaia politely addressed the wall. “I think I’m quite recovered. I’m leaving now. Excuse me.”
She quietly left him sitting there.
For a long while, Toni was simply too stunned to think. The first thought that did find its way into his consciousness, however, arrived in the form of a question.
What in the hell is wrong with me?