Pieces
“Let me in to see her!” Grant’s voice filled my head, making the Red burn within my throat.
“Grant, you go in there and wake her…and you will die. Then, once you die, as will she. Would you like that to happen? Would you like our daughter to die?” My mother sounded calm, nothing like the craziness infecting Grant.
I struggled against the ties clamping me to the bed, trying to force my body out so I could go to Grant. So I could sate the thirst beginning to run rampage within me.
“She’s awake! Let me see her! Let me see Tammy!”
I heard a snarl rip out of my throat, and a rip as my hands freed themselves. “Grant,” I purred, my voice turning velvet soft as I called him to me. “Grant…”
As soon as he heard me I saw the door to my room start to shake, no doubt from him pounding against it. “Let me in! Tammy!”
“Take him out!” my mom yelled, and I felt my body go drowsy as the drug they gave to him passed through the bond.
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I woke up; tears falling delicately down my face as I relived the night I killed Dracul over and over in my head. That was what I had been blocking, trying to keep myself from this emptiness that filled me. No wonder I had fallen into a coma, Dracul dying pushed me off the cliff, and I wasn’t going to come back. Not unless I could find a way to go to him, and Duke would never allow that. I had to leave, and I had to go now.
“Tammy, what’s wrong?” Duke appeared in the room from thin air, sitting beside me with his face full of love.
What was wrong with me? Why was I still here? Duke didn’t deserve to suffer with me.
“Duke, I can’t do this. I’m scared…” I whispered, hugging my arms tight to my chest.
He knew what I meant, I could see it in the way he looked at me, and I swore that I could almost see light pink tears lining his eyes.
“Why?” I shook my head, refusing to answer his simple question. “Why are you scared, why can’t you do this?” he pressed, taking a step towards me.
I looked away, biting the inside of my cheeks. What was I supposed to tell him? The truth? Tell him that without Dracul I will never feel anything again? That I blocked out my memories so that I wouldn’t have to relive Dracul’s death? Is that what he wanted to hear? That I was so in love with someone else, so in love with Dracul, that when he died I fell into a bottomless pit that I won’t ever pull myself out of? Was I supposed to spill my soul to him, break his heart and shatter it into unrecoverable pieces? He gave up so much for me, he lost so much for me, and what have I done for him? What have I done to him? What have I done?
I shook my head again, wiping away the tears that began to fall. “I’m sorry Duke,” I whispered, and turned away from him. “I’m so sorry.”
“Tammy I won’t let you give up on me, I won’t let you leave me. Do you hear me? I love you Tammy, I love you so much. Please, just listen to me. I know what you’re going through. I know that you’re hurting. But-if you just let me help you-”
I cut him off, shaking off the hand that he grabbed my arm with. “No Duke. You can’t help me. Don’t you see what’s right in front of you? I am a monster, doomed to wreck everything-everyone-in my path. I’m no good for you Duke, I’m no good for anyone. I love you Duke, I do love you, but I’m not going to hurt you. I won’t do it.”
Duke grabbed my arm again, a single pink tear falling down his beautifully sculpted face. I wanted to wipe it away so badly, but I couldn’t do it. I had to leave before I hurt Duke too. “Then don’t leave me. Tammy, if you leave me, you won’t just be hurting me. You’ll be tearing my heart to shreds. Please don’t leave me,” he pleaded, and I pulled my arm back once again.
“You have Kallisto, you have a life that you can start over with. I can’t be a part of it; I wasn’t made to be your Queen. I’m sorry Duke, but I can’t do this. I can’t do this!” I shouted, and walked away.
I could feel Duke wanting to run after me, my soul still tied to his and hearing it call out to me. Feeling the amount of restraint he had to force onto himself, to keep from pulling me back into his arms. I couldn’t let him see that I wanted that. I couldn’t let him see that I wanted him to give me a reason to stay. I had to leave; I had to end this cycle of hurt, this cycle of pain that seemed never-ending. I had to stay strong for myself, for Duke, for Dracul. “I’m sorry Duke,” I whispered, knowing he would hear me as I exited the palace doors. “I’m so sorry.”
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