Chapter Thirty-Eight – A Tea Party
Half-hidden behind the curtains of the small back drawing room, Frederick stood with his nose almost pressed to the windowpane. His ego chided him for his behaviour, calling him childish and immature. His heart, however, rejoiced at the sight of his wife as she chatted with friends and neighbours, always the gracious hostess, a kind word for everyone on her lips. The sunlight touched her golden hair, half piled atop her head and half cascading down her back and flowing freely over her slender shoulders. Her deep blue eyes shone like sapphires, and her rosy lips beckoned him forward, their siren call echoing in his bones.
When exactly he had lost his heart to her, Frederick didn’t know. All he knew was that she possessed it; and yet, he did not feel threatened or vulnerable in the least. On the contrary, he had never felt so safe in his entire life!
A deep smile curled up the corners of his mouth as he contemplated the future before them. Since the day she had saved his soul from perpetual torment, the shadows had receded, allowing him to enjoy the love she so openly bestowed upon him. Joy tingled in every fibre of his being, and he wanted nothing more than to run out there and wrap her in his arms.
Instead, he stood hidden, stealing a glance at his own wife like a common thief!
Frederick sighed, glancing at the clock on the mantle. How much longer till the guests would leave?
When he turned back around, his wife had just abandoned her post beside her friend−Madeline, was it?−and was walking down the small slope of lawn toward the old oak tree by the water fountain. Following her with his gaze, Frederick’s eyes grew wide when he beheld the small woman standing in its shade. “Charlotte,” he gasped, and his heart constricted painfully.
Although he had called her ‘friend’ once, the loss of Kenneth had changed everything. He could not set eyes upon her without being reminded of what they both had lost. Frederick supposed she felt the same way for she had only come to see him twice since his return home. Why was she here today? He wondered. However, when his eyes swept over his wife’s gentle features as she sat down beside Charlotte, Frederick knew why.
As she had done for the rest of his family and him as well, Ellie was intent on helping those who had no strength left to fight for themselves. Her eyes held the same determination as they had when she had told him that Maryann needed to see that life was still beautiful, that she could still find happiness. Obviously, his wife was on a mission; and although Frederick could have done without the stab of guilt he felt at Charlotte’s presence, he could not help but love his wife all the more for her diligence in bringing peace to the people he cared about.
For a long while, he simply stood there, gazing longingly at Ellie as she spoke to his friend’s former fiancée. Gently, she touched the woman’s hands, her head lowered in confidence while Charlotte’s gaze was fixed on something in the distance. After a while, though, she nodded, her eyes shifting to his wife, and smiled.
Frederick was amazed. How did she do it? How did she know exactly what to say? He shook his head. Words often eluded him.
Walking around the room, he tried to shake off the touch of stiffness that had come to his legs and back from his rather unfortunate position behind the curtains. From outside, happy laughter and chatty voices reached his ears, and despite his misgivings about not being invited, Frederick realised that it had been a long time since such innocent joy had echoed through the halls of Elmridge. Not since before he had left for the continent had he felt this content, and the corners of his lips curled upward in happiness.
“May I ask what you are smiling about?”
At his wife’s voice, Frederick spun around.
Ellie laughed. “Do not worry! I will not breathe a word of this to anyone,” she assured him, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes as she approached.
“I assure you, my lady, I have not the slightest inkling as to what you are referring,” he said, trying to look innocent. “Maybe you are not aware of the fact that this is my favourite room in the entire house. I spent hours here, reading and…thinking.” A grin spread over his face, and again, she laughed. “How did you know I was here?”
Her gaze shifted to the window before returning to his. “I saw you, my lord.”
His eyes grew wide.
“Do not worry. I doubt anyone else saw. However, I would advise against spying on your guests in the future.”
A frown on his face, Frederick grumbled, “I was not spying on my guests. Why would I? I have no interest in their affairs.”
“I see,” Ellie nodded, coming to stand before him. Her eyes gazed into his in a way that made the breath catch in his throat. “Then who were you spying on?”
Wrapping his arms around her, Frederick pulled her closer. “You,” he whispered against her lips before his mouth claimed hers.
As she melted against him, Frederick lost all sense of his surroundings. The only thing that mattered was her and the way she made him feel. The way she felt lying in his arms. The way her lips moved against his. The way her hands ran up his chest and wrapped around his neck, pulling him even closer. Before Frederick knew what was happening, he pulled her down onto the settee.
Unfortunately, that was when she stopped herself and by extension him.
“This is unwise,” Ellie gasped. Rising to her feet and brushing down her dress, she glanced at the window. When none of their guests seemed to be gawking back at them, her features relaxed and she turned back to him, an amused curl to her lips. “My lord, you made me forget my manners,” she chided him before turning to leave.
Jumping to his feet, Frederick reached for her, pulling her back into his arms.
“I do need to go,” she protested, snuggling against him.
“But you don’t want to.”
“That is of no importance.” Drawing in a deep breath, she straightened, extracting herself from his embrace.
As she did so, Frederick could see the reluctance to leave in her eyes, and his heart beat faster.
“I will see you tonight,” she whispered, a wordless promise dancing in her eyes. Then she took another step backward, and a deep smile curled up her lips before she tore herself away and finally turned to leave.
His wife took another few steps before her arms came up for balance and she started to sway on her feet.
As his heart stopped, Frederick lunged forward. He barely managed to grab a hold of her before she sagged against him, her body going limp as though every strength had suddenly left her.
“Ellie!” he called, his voice sounding hysterical to his own ears. Turning her over in his arms, he breathed a sigh of relief when he found her eyes open.
A bit disoriented, she blinked, then focused her gaze on his face, slow breathes moving her chest.
Carrying her to the settee, Frederick gently settled her into the cushions. “Are you all right?” he asked as a new fear gripped his heart. “I’ll send for Dr. Madison immediately.”
Before he could jump up though, her hand curled into the fabric of his sleeve, holding him back. “There is no need,” she whispered, her voice not as weak as he had feared. “It is just a spell of dizziness. I suppose I should have eaten something.”
“You haven’t eaten anything?” Frederick snapped, glancing at the many tables laden with food. “It is late afternoon. When was the last time you did eat?”
Her eyes narrowed, and for a moment, she said nothing. “I suppose it was at breakfast.”
“Breakfast?”
Her eyes shifted to him and narrowed in a completely different way. “Don’t speak to me as though I am a silly child,” she objected, pushing herself up into a sitting position. “It was a very busy day, and I was distracted. It could have happened to anyone.”
“I’m sorry,” Frederick mumbled. “I didn’t mean to insinuate that you cannot take care of yourself. I was merely worried.”
Her features softened. “I know, and I’m sorry, too. I did not mean to snap at you.”
“Th
ank you.” Reluctantly, Frederick held out his hand to her as she tried to stand up. “Are you certain this is a good idea? I could get you something to eat.”
Grinning at him, she shook her head. “Do not use this as an excuse to join the party. I am perfectly capable of walking out there by myself.”
“All right,” Frederick mumbled, watching her go. Although she did not sway anymore, neither did she look too steady on her feet. Frederick swallowed as every fibre of his body told him to follow her, to see her safe, to protect her.
However, hoping that he could trust her judgement, he stayed behind, quietly watching through the window as she reappeared on the terrace. To his relief, she took a seat in the shade and had a footman bring her something from the buffet.
Seeing the colour return to her cheeks, Frederick sighed before his heart froze as an unexpected flashback seized him.
For a reason he could not name, he found himself reliving the moment he had returned from the terrace at the Midnight Ball and had found his brother on the floor, writhing in pain, his face as pale as death itself.
To this day, they did not know what had taken Leopold’s life. The doctor had suspected poison, and yet, there had been no way to know for sure.
Wallowing in his guilt, Frederick had not given it much thought at the time. After all, dead was dead. Nothing he could have done would have brought his brother back.
Now, however, his thoughts had cleared and the turmoil of his heart had ceased. Again, Oliver’s voice echoed in his head, It’s almost as though a curse was put on your family.
First his father, then his brother and now…? Had he almost died when the saddle girth had snapped? Frederick wondered. Were Oliver’s concerns justified? Had it been cut deliberately? Did someone want them dead?
But who? And why?
His father had been an only child. The few relatives they had were quite distant. Was someone after Elmridge and the title? Who would inherit if he died?
Frederick didn’t know since he had never before contemplated such a scenario. Even when he had been determined to seek out death on the battlefield, he had hoped that his son would be the one to carry on the title.
His son. He marvelled. Never before had he thought of himself as a father. He had only ever seen his son as the means to his deliverance. The means that would set him free.
However, everything was different now.
Watching his wife eat her lemon cake, Frederick smiled. Nothing and no one could ever make him leave her. He loved her beyond hope, and he would spend the rest of his life by her side, raising their children together.
Was there a threat out there, though? A threat not only to their happiness, but also to their lives?
Not hers, he reminded himself with some relief. Her death would not affect the line of succession. His, however, would. What ought he to do? Maybe he ought to speak to Oliver. After all, he had been the only one to ever voice any concern in this regard.
Again, his eyes travelled to his wife as she sat amongst her friends. Her eyes sparkled with delight, and the smile on her face spoke to the happiness within her heart. She looked like life itself. At the very least, she was his life, and all of a sudden, the thought of ending his own seemed as preposterous as snow in July.
Chapter Thirty-Nine – Sons & Daughters
Walking through the gardens with her mother-in-law, Ellie drew her shawl tighter around her shoulders. At least, the weather had stayed fine long enough for their tea party to be held out-doors; it had been well worth it. Ever since that day, a smile had been more firmly fixed on Maryann’s face and the thought of re-joining society, even at a mixed event, did not bring frown lines to her forehead anymore. Ellie was pleased.
“The leaves are starting to change,” Theresa observed as the wind tugged a strand of her greying hair from her bun. “It’s been a year of great change.”
Ellie nodded as her gaze slid over Theresa’s face, noticing the sad curl to her lips and the hint of tears forming in her eyes. “It has seen a lot of sadness,” she whispered, pulling her mother-in-law’s arm through hers.
“It has,” Theresa nodded before she stopped and turned to Ellie, her own wrinkled hands grasping Ellie’s scarred ones. “But it has also brought a lot of joy,” she said, and despite the tear that rolled down her cheek, a smile came to her face, “and you are the reason.”
Ellie opened her mouth to protest, but Theresa shook her head to silence her. “I know praise makes you uncomfortable, and you do not see anything special in the kindness you bestow on others, which makes it even more precious because it is heart-felt and not due to a duty you believe to be yours.” Squeezing Ellie’s hands, she looked deep into her eyes. “I don’t know what happened that day Maryann and myself came upon you and Frederick in his study.” As though chilled, a tremble went through her. “I thought for sure all hope was lost. But then the next day, everything seemed to fall into place.”
Remembering the intimacies she had shared with her husband that day−physical as well as emotional−Ellie averted her eyes, feeling uncomfortable. “It is difficult to explain.”
“I don’t need you to explain,” Theresa assured her. “I knew you would find a way, a way neither one of us could have walked.” A warm glow came to her eyes. “I haven’t seen him this happy, this…carefree in a long time. It is as though a heavy burden was lifted off his chest, and he can finally breathe again.” A delighted smile lit up her features. “I can see that he loves you.”
A warm blush rose in Ellie’s cheeks, and she bit her lower lip self-consciously.
“Don’t be ashamed,” her mother-in-law chided lovingly. “Love is nothing to be ashamed of. From the very beginning, I had hoped that this day would come. That you two would come to love each other. I just wanted you to know that.”
“Thank you, Theresa. You have no idea how much your words mean to me.” Ellie took a deep breath as the cool wind rushed over her cheeks. “I feel at home here,” she said, a hint of awe in her voice as her eyes swept over the gardens that had heard so many of their secrets before returning to the woman before her. “And it is not just because of Frederick, but because of all of you. You’ve welcomed me with open arms and open hearts, and I will be eternally grateful for that.”
More tears rolled down Theresa’s cheeks before she wrapped her daughter-in-law in a tight embrace, her thin arms holding a strength that her frail-looking body rarely exuded.
Despite a sense of familial loyalty, which urged her to refrain from speaking her mind, Ellie felt the almost desperate need to have Theresa understand just how much she meant to her. “I am very close to my sisters and my brother,” she began, “and my cousin Rosabel is like another sister to me. However, my parents have always been rather distant. They were never unkind, but less emotional. I cannot recall the last time I hugged either one of them.” A sympathetic smile on her face, Theresa squeezed Ellie’s hand. “I do love them, but it’s a different kind of love. I don’t know if you can understand considering how close you’ve always been to your sons.”
Theresa sighed. “Well, it’s not always easy to love someone unconditionally, the way parents tend to love their children. Especially when they get older, it is sometimes difficult to show the love you feel in your heart. Circumstances put a distance between you and them that neither one of you can bridge easily.” Her eyes sank, overshadowed with past difficulties, and Ellie wondered about the depth of pain and fear Theresa had felt when Leopold had died and Frederick had seemed determined to walk in his brother’s footsteps. “I would not judge your parents for appearing distant for I do not know the reason they felt the need to guard their hearts.” Lifting her gaze to Ellie’s face, Theresa smiled. “However, I am overjoyed that you see us as your family. I gave birth to two sons, but I consider myself the mother of two sons and two daughters.”
Touched beyond words, Ellie closed her eyes, savouring the moment. Then she looked at her mother-in-law and said, “Thank you for bringing me here. I can
not imagine being anywhere else.”
“Neither can I,” Theresa whispered. “You belong here with us, and we will never let you go.”
Ellie laughed as tears ran down her cheeks. “You wouldn’t ever be able to get rid of me.”
Chuckling, Theresa smiled. “I wish you only happiness, Elsbeth. You and my son. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve it.” A wistful twinkle came to her eyes. “In many ways, seeing Frederick with you reminds me of my own husband. He was just as helpless without me as Frederick is without you. Always remember, men are no good without women by their side.”
Chapter Forty − Suspicions
“I have to admit I was surprised to receive your note,” Oliver said as he sat down across from Frederick. “I thought after last time you wouldn’t want to see me for a while. If I recall correctly, you were quite upset.”
Frederick chuckled. “And with good reason, I might add. However, that is of the past.”
“Obviously,” Oliver remarked, staring at his friend in a somewhat incredulous manner, his eyes searching the other’s face as though looking for an explanation. “Have you finally spoken to your wife?” he asked, a devilish grin on his face. “Is she the reason for that dreamy look in your eyes?”
Clearing his throat, Frederick straightened in his chair as the smile slid off his face. He hadn’t been aware his feelings were so obvious. Could everyone tell how much he loved his wife simply by looking at him?
Oliver laughed, slapping his knee. “She truly must be an extraordinary woman to accomplish what I feared to be a hopeless task. How did she do it?”
“That is none of your concern,” Frederick snapped, feeling somewhat disconcerted that his friend could read him so well.
Oliver chuckled, and Frederick noticed that the smile on his face was not overshadowed by lines of worry as it had been during his friend’s last visit.
Instantly, Frederick felt sorry for causing his friend such distress. He was still coming to realise how deeply he had hurt the people around him, not to mention frightened them nearly witless by his intentions of leaving for the continent again. Had they all known why he had intended to return?