Chapter 9
Over the next few weeks, Janet went about her normal duties. Prentice, and his requests, were never far from her mind but she would push them away with the thought of attending to them at some time in the future.
A month later, as Janet drove along the Northern motorway, a bumblebee smashed itself against her windscreen. It clicked her mind back to the bee in her garden, and the wonder of creation. She again pushed it to the back of her mind. The next Sunday the Old Testament reading at church was from the first chapter of Genesis. Janet's conscience gave her a bit of a nudge, but the sermon was on the New Testament reading so Genesis did not make it back into her mind. Back home after Church, she opened her Sunday paper to be confronted with an article from a scientist saying he had found a rock that proved evolution. He then went into a rant about 'bible bashing creationists.' A couple of days later Janet thought she saw Jude Prentice, but then lost him in the crowd.
That night Janet dreamed she was in a land inhabited by dinosaurs. They were of no danger to her and just accepted her and let her get on with whatever she was doing. The people with her did not speak a language that she understood and they were physically bigger than she was. When she awoke, she could clearly remember the dream and felt relaxed and refreshed.
When she finished school teaching that day, she returned home and sat down in her home office, or study, as some would call it. She placed two bibles in front of her: a King James Version and Today's English Version of the Good News Bible. Verse five of King James's Genesis leapt off the page at her. In it, God created night and day. Later she read that God rested on the seventh day and blessed it. It also said that lights were put in the sky to separate the day from the night and for them to be signs for days, years, and seasons. The Good News said the same thing but differently. The thing that her mind seized upon was that God created days and nights, which were signalled by the sun and moon. To her that clearly meant God made everything in six literal days unless the length of days had somehow changed.
"Oh my goodness," said Janet. "What have I got myself into?"
She turned to her computer and entered 'Evolution' into her search engine. It showed 155 million results. She then entered 'Creation' for 151 million results, 'Young Earth' for 72 million results and 'Intelligent Design' for 8.5 million results. For a moment, she sat quietly. She then lifted her eyes up to the corner of her study and said, "Okay God, I give up. I'll do what you want me to do. I don't know how I am going to do it, but I will. I trust you to show and guide me. I put myself into your hands. I am yours. Amen."
Janet felt a great warmth surround her, and a feeling of love the like of which she had never felt before. That night she slept deeply and awoke refreshed. She jumped out of bed and said aloud, "Okay God, here I am. Show me the way."
Nothing out of the ordinary occurred to her that day or the next few days. Each day she prayed for guidance and help but nothing happened. A big fat nothing!
Gradually Janet became despondent. She felt that clearly she was doing something wrong. She could not, however, figure out what. While she continued to pray, she also commenced reading the bible twice a day. If she did not have time to do the morning reading before she left for school, she would do it during her lunchtime. A couple of times she caught Joe Palmer watching her. Eventually it must have proved too much for Palmer. Three weeks after Janet had prayed to God and said she would do what he wanted; Palmer came and stood beside her. She looked up.
"May I sit with you?" he asked.
Janet closed her bible, put it into her bag, and pulled her mug closer to make room for him.
"By all means," smiled Janet. "Long time no talk."
Palmer nodded.
"Can I help?" asked Janet.
"I think it is more about me helping you," responded Palmer.
"How's that?" queried Janet.
"This is slightly awkward," said Palmer hesitantly.
"Let me help," said Janet. "My Bible offends you."
Palmer laughed. "By no means," he said. "What offends me is that a person as bright and clever as you are, allows yourself to be taken in by what it says."
"Thank you for the compliment Joe, about my being bright and clever. Even you, though, would have to agree that our entire civilization is based upon Christian ideals."
"For many centuries, yes, but while some of the ideals are indeed good for us, the idea that when you die you go to a place somewhere above the clouds is a bit too hard to swallow. I think that if you removed yourself from ancient unproven beliefs you could do an awful lot of good in the world. You are a caring and gentle person with leadership skills that are going to waste."
"I take it Joe, that by your comments you wouldn't go along with Intelligent Design, with God being the intelligent designer of earth."
"You take it right. You see you are following things written from an oral tradition. Life has moved on from that."
"Maybe by some," responded Janet wondering where her words were coming from. "But regardless, I find it difficult to believe you and I have a hunk of rock, or slime, as our great, great, plus a few more greats, ancestor."
"Real life science shows different though Janet."
"To a degree, maybe Joe, but there is a lot of doubt being expressed now by an increasing number of scientists."
"Pseudo-scientists," interrupted Joe.
"No Joe," said Janet. "Real life PhD scientists in geology and biology."
"They cannot prove what they are saying though Janet," pointed out Palmer. "It is all theory."
"Come on Joe, so is most of your science. As a matter of fact, all of your science is based upon flawed assumptions and circular arguments."
Joe threw up his hands. "I knew I should have kept my mouth shut," he said. "I was only trying to give you a bit of a helping hand."
Suddenly Janet was filled with a wonderful warm, almost euphoric, feeling. Without thinking, she leaned across the table and said, "Tell you what Joe, I am going to prove major holes in your evolutionary beliefs. Not only that, I am going to do it publicly. How many holes do I have to provide for you to change your mind?"
Palmer stood up. "One would do me Miss Winter."
"How long do you give me?"
"You can have eternity as far as I am concerned," retorted Palmer. "But, since it is to be done in public, let us meet right here in one years time."
"Accepted," said Janet standing up. "Shake on it."
With a brief handshake, they both left the room.
That evening Janet sat wondering what had made her react the way she had. She then recalled the feeling she had experienced just before her mouth had landed her in so much trouble. It had been the same feeling she had experienced when she told God that she would do what he wanted. Again, she lifted up her eyes to the corner she had looked at last time, longing for that feeling to return. It did not return. She sat, and she prayed. She read portions of the Bible and walked around inside her house. She sang hymns, emptied her mind, sat down, and prayed again. Nothing happened. No warm feeling enveloped her. Instead, she experienced feelings of loneliness, desertion and abandonment. On top of that, she now saw herself faced with a challenge that, to her, now appeared insurmountable. Finally, she went out into her backyard and walked to where she had watched the bumblebee with the flowers.
"Okay God," she said. "If you aren't going to help then I guess I'll have to do it myself. I do wonder why you have given me this job and then headed off elsewhere, but there you are."