Chapter 14
The next morning I was woke up by my phone ringing. It was Nate again. I thought I’d better talk to him in case it was something important. “Hey Nate, what’s up.? I tried to act casual.
“Talli, I just thought you might want to know,” Nate began, “There was an accident…uh…my mom passed away from a car accident a couple days ago. I know you liked her a lot and I just….sorry to interrupt your vacation.”
I instantly sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes. I couldn’t believe this news. “Oh my goodness, Nate. I’m so sorry. You’re right to call me. Thank you. Uh, how are you doing? How is your dad doing? What happened? I really loved your mom. She was always great to me. I want to come home right away.”
“No need to do that, Talli….”
“But I want to. I need to.” I interrupted him. “Nate, I’m still your friend. And your mom’s and dad’s and your sister’s friend! This is terrible news! I can’t believe it.” I sat on the phone with Nate for almost an hour. We talked a little about his mom and his dad and the funeral plans. But mostly we just sat and consoled each other.
When I finished my phone call I went and told my mom about the sad news. Momma was friends with Nate’s mom and took the news badly as well. We called immediately and booked flights back home for me, momma and my grandparents. Cruz was staying at the villa to continue the plans for our mission. I was grateful to him for continuing that for me while I was gone.
It took a few days to get flights so we barely made it back in time for the funeral. After the funeral we spent the rest of the day at the Broadwell’s house. Momma and grams were cleaning the house and washing clothes, trying to help out the family in some way. I just spent time sitting with Nate as we consoled each other. We just sat and held each other. Sometimes, reminiscing about his mom. Sometimes, crying into each other’s shoulders. Sometimes just sitting in silence, feeling the familiar comfort of a friend. I felt as if I had lost my second mom. I had spent many days in Mrs. Broadwell’s house in the past twelve years. This was my home away from home.
“This feels really good having you here, Talli. Thank you.” Nate said.
“There is no place I would rather be right now, Nate. Your mom meant a lot to me.”
“She was pretty sad about our break up. She would be pleased to see you here, now.”
I was there for my own need as well as the Broadwells. There really was no place I’d rather be. However, I hoped that Nate wouldn’t take it as hope for us to be together. He was my friend. A very good friend. Just not my boyfriend. I hoped he knew that. I hoped he understood it was for the best.
“Talli, tell me what I did wrong. What can I do to get us back together? We can work through this. Can’t we just start over?” Nate asked the dreaded question. And asked it now when he’s mourning the loss of his mother. Who am I to add more to his loss? Is this really fair to him? Am I being selfish? But to delay the inevitable now would just make it worse later. If I spare his feelings now, it will hurt more when I do tell him the truth.
“Nate, it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve always been good to me. I’ve loved the time we have spent together.”
“Then there is a chance for me!” Nate exclaimed with hope shining in his eyes. “I knew you wouldn’t throw it all away.” Nate hugged me close to him. It felt comfortable in his arms. Like my favorite pair of jeans comfortable. I was a little confused. I needed to talk to momma. These feelings don’t feel romantic, but they are real. I feel a love for Nate that is like the love I feel for my family.
“Nate, let’s not talk about this now. I don’t feel right about discussing us when we just buried your mom. Can we just talk about this tomorrow?” I replied.
“Sure babe. You are right. We’ll continue this conversation later.” Nate brushed a lock of hair away from my face. I looked up at him. His beautiful green eyes were glistening from the tears that had filled them earlier. My hands slowly found their way into his soft curls at the back of his collar and intertwined their way into the familiar locks of golden hair. Our lips seemed to drift towards each other. Nate softly brushed a kiss over my lips.
Then he pulled me closer and kissed me passionately. I didn’t stop him. However, he could tell that I wasn’t engaged in the kiss as he was. He pulled back and looked at me with his trademark smile, sweetly tempting me. “Okay. Later.” Was all that he said.
Momma and grams walked in and announced it was time to go. We could come back tomorrow if we needed to. However, it was late and we needed to go home and let the Broadwells get some rest. Good thing, because I needed to talk to momma.
We didn’t say anything on the way home. We were pretty emotionally spent. Mrs. Broadwell had been a part of our lives for years. It was still hard to believe she was gone. Once we got home, momma asked me what I needed to talk to her about. She had always been intuitive to me but this time it was perfect timing.
I told her how I had kissed Nate, or rather he kissed me and I let him. I told her that I hadn’t felt any romantic feelings towards Nate. However, I had felt a kind of love for him, like I would love a family member. I told her I was confused because until I met Cruz I hadn’t questioned my relationship with Nate. I just accepted it. It was a comfort zone for me. I enjoyed being around him and doing things with him. Much like I enjoyed doing things with Brielle. “Am I wrong to break up with Nate?” I asked my mom. “Am I letting my interest in Cruz cloud my feelings for Nate?”
“Well now that is the million dollar question, isn’t it sweetie.” Momma put her arm around me. “Only you can decide that. I can give you guidance and advice, but ultimately, you need to figure this out. You’re the only one that will know. However, you need to do what is best for Talitha and not what is best for Nate or Cruz. It’s your life you pilot, not theirs.
“Can you tell me about you and my dad? What you felt with him. I think that would help.”
Momma sighed and settled back into the sofa. Her face was full of longing, reminiscing and love. I could see she was reliving her experiences from long ago and it brought a tear to her eye. “We will bring him back, momma. You will be with him again.” I encouraged her.
She wiped her eye and said “I know we will. I’m just happy. The first time I met your dad, he was so handsome and dapper. Well, I guess that’s a word from way back then. You probably haven’t heard it. Anyway, he was “all that,” he had it goin’ on. If you know what I mean.” We both chuckled at her attempt of current lingo.
“It was at a teen community dance in our village. He was a mysterious new kid we hadn’t seen before but my grandma said he was one of us. When he asked me to dance my heart did flips. I was so excited to be the first girl he asked to dance. He picked me out of all the girls there. Back then we had to dance with different guys. We couldn’t dance with the same one over and over, unless you were engaged. We had dance cards that the boy would put his name on to be the one to dance with you a certain dance. I had wished that Demetrio could have all of my dances, but we couldn’t.” Momma said dreamily.
“He was so charming and a great dancer. Almost all of the girls wanted to dance with him. And he did dance with a lot of them but he kept looking back at me. After the dance he left with his parents and I was afraid I would never see him again. Just the thought made me physically sick. I couldn’t eat or sleep. All I could do is think about the most wonderful guy I had ever met and worry that I would never see him again.”
“Then what? When did you see him again?” I was genuinely interested in this story.
“I was pleasantly surprised when a letter came addressed to me the next week. In those days it took a long time for mail to get to us. It was true ‘snail mail.’ He had written it that night. He told me he would love to see me again sometime. My heart, once a
gain did flips. We exchanged letters for about a year and then his parents brought him to visit again. When we saw each other this time, we had already fallen in love through our letters. I cherished the time he was there. I have never felt as much alive as when I am with your father.” Momma finished abruptly. I wanted to hear more.
“So did you get married then?” I prompted her.
“Not then. He asked my parents for my hand in marriage and they refused. He didn’t want to dishonor them, so he left. I became so heart-broken at that time. I couldn’t eat. I withdrew from everyone. I felt like a piece of my heart had literally been ripped out of my chest. I didn’t want to be around anyone else. My parents brought other guys around to court me. However, I couldn’t stand to be around any of them. It just made me miss your dad more.” I could see that the sadness, as she related the story, was still there. Or was it the new sadness from missing him now.
“But you eventually got married.” I added.
“About a month after your dad left, I received a letter from grams. She told me that your dad was miserable too. He missed me very much but would not write to me and go against my parents’ wishes. Grams told me that if I encouraged him he would write back. It was just her intuition. I wrote to him and told him how much I loved him and missed him. However, I didn’t receive a letter back. I was terribly disappointed. I wrote another one, thinking maybe it was lost in the mail. I put a spell on that letter to ensure it would get to him.”
“Then he wrote back, right?”
“No. Not then. I was devastated. I became more and more depressed. My grandma noticed my depression and was worried for me. She wrote a letter to Demetrio and told him my condition. She immediately received a letter back from him stating that he had answered my letters and wondered why I hadn’t got them. Grandma wrote back and told him she had an idea why I hadn’t got them. She also told him that she had a plan.”
“Did she put a spell on your parents so they would like dad?”
“No, it is forbidden to put spells on our own family members. And usually not on other people either. Remember what I told you about using our talents.”
“Then how did you and my dad end up together?” I dragged out the sentence for dramatics.
“Grandma had tried to reason with my parents but they wouldn’t listen. So grandma had me pack some bags and we took a carriage to where your dad was living. She told me that if I wanted to stay there and marry Demetrio I would have her blessing. So after a lot of praying and thinking I decided to stay with your grandparents. We planned a quick wedding with only my grandma and your grandparents attending. I wrote to my parents to explain that I loved them and didn’t really want to disobey them but this is where I belonged. I told them I would still love to have them in my life. They sent the letter back saying it was refused by the recipient.”
“That part of the story is very sad.” I admitted. “But I like the part that you felt things and missed dad. That helps me. I miss Cruz a lot. I kind of missed Nate when we were in Italy. I thought about him sometimes but I wasn’t wishing I could be with him. I just missed him the way I missed Brielle. I can see the difference, now. Thanks momma.” I kissed her goodnight and ran up to bed. There was something I needed to do.
I texted Cruz and told him I missed him and couldn’t wait to see him. Then I climbed into bed and slept like a baby. I woke up early in the morning feeling like I could handle this. I ran downstairs and started cooking breakfast. Scrambled cheese-egg and toast. Grams came into the kitchen surprised to see me up so early.
“What are you doing up so early and why are you cooking breakfast? Who are you and what did you do with Talitha?” Grams joked.
“I think that Talitha is gone for good. I’m the new and improved Talitha.” I joked back.
“I see. And just what is it about you that is improved, cuz I kind of liked the old one.” Grams said.
“I just feel more confident in making decisions. Maybe I’m just more mature. I am 18 now, you know.” I winked at grams.
“Well new and improved Talli, would you mind passing me a plate?”
“You betcha. Coming right up.” I said.
“But why are you so chipper today? With the funeral and everything I thought you would be down in the dumps.”
“I am sad about Mrs. Broadwell. It’s just that life goes on and I’m trying to do the same. Actually I’m chipper because I know who I am and what I want.” I tried to explain. Then I said playfully, “I am woman, hear me roar.”
“Now you’re quoting Helen Ready? She’s way before your time.” Grams laughed.
“Some things are just timeless.” I said as I passed grams a plate of eggs and toast.
While grams and I ate we discussed relationships and how she felt with grandpa. That was a good example. They had been together for over 142 years. Grams told me that even though they have had disagreements and things to work through, she still had the butterflies in her tummy once in a while. She told me that relationships evolve and become more meaningful as you grow old together. She told me that I need to choose to be with someone and then commit to keep the fire going, that we would have to work at it and not take it for granted. I could see maybe doing that with Cruz. I couldn’t envision a forever with Nate.
“Thanks grams. You and momma both helped me a lot.” I cleaned up the dishes and headed back up to my room. I texted Nate, how are you doing today? He texted me back, a little numb. Can’t believe all this. Call me when ur ready to talk us. I showered and changed my clothes and headed downstairs to call Nate. Instead, the doorbell rang. It was Cruz. I was so happy to see him. I hugged him and then pulled back. “There’s something I need to try.” I told him. Then I planted a kiss right on his lips.
Immediately I was filled with electric-like feelings surging through my body as my heart did flips and butterflies danced in my tummy. “Whoa! I wasn’t expecting that.” I said as I pried my lips off of his.”
“I’m so happy to see you too.” Cruz laughed. “That was breathtakingly enjoyable. What made you decide to do that?”
“I just needed to. That’s all.” I lied. I really wanted to see what it felt like. I definitely was not disappointed.
“I think the reason our feelings are so intensified when we touch, is we both have the ability to feel other people’s emotions. It didn’t happen when we first touched while we were held captive. It didn’t happen until we both had feelings for each other.” Cruz explained.
“Well it makes perfect sense to me. However, I really don’t care why. I just like it.” I grinned. “Then it occurred to me that I had no idea Cruz was coming to the States. “So to what do I owe my gratitude for bringing you here to me?”
“I was just missing you, that’s all. I can continue planning from here. Do you mind?”
“Of course I don’t mind! I wouldn’t let you go back if you tried.” I told him and then planted my lips on his again. I absolutely knew at that moment, what I needed to do. All doubt was washed from me.