“I don’t know. She had her hood up so I couldn’t see her face, but everywhere I went in that dream she was right there, watching me.” Kira took a sip of coffee to give herself time to think. “It was just another nightmare.” She decided to change the subject so she could divert the unpleasant memories that had been brought up. “Wasn’t the Western Alliance threatening to do something about the pirates hitting their shipping in the Jules Sea? Has that settled out?”
“No,” Mari said, accepting without comment Kira’s sudden change of topic. She leaned forward toward Kira, her arms on the table. “The pirates are still a problem. The Western Alliance is certain they’re based out of Syndar, and I’m sure they’re right. But Syndari officials are sure to be getting a cut of what the pirates are bringing in, and Syndar knows the Alliance isn’t eager to start hostilities, so they keep stalling, and for now Alliance warships remain outside of Syndari territorial waters, playing cat and mouse with the pirates. But at some point Alliance patience will give out and they’ll move against Syndar, unless the situation gets resolved first. What do you think I should do, Kira?”
Kira paused to think. When she was fifteen, she’d been terrified by the idea of trying to be her mother. Mari had done the impossible, defeating the Great Guilds to free Dematr. Mari had slain dragons and raised an army. Mari had changed the world. Kira had thought it ridiculous that she could ever step into her mother’s shoes, responsible for trying to resolve disputes between nations and if necessary rallying armies and navies to fight for her. And her mother had never pushed for that, trying to shield her daughter from the responsibilities and burdens that came with being the daughter of Jules.
But Jason had come to this world and Kira had been forced to face her legacy, discovering that she did have something of her mother inside her. And not so long ago Kira had experienced first-hand what could happen without her mother resolving disputes between nations. Kira had seen war up close. She knew what could happen, and how many could die. A still-fresh scar on one side of her neck told of an Imperial bullet that had come too close to ending her life, and when she moved quickly a lingering tightness in her side reminded her of the Imperial sword that had ridden along her ribs. She had survived, but others had not.
Kira hadn’t said anything directly to her mother since then about someday taking on at least some of the responsibilities of her mother. But she had asked questions, and cautiously offered opinions, waiting to hear her mother’s reactions and advice. And Mari, not without a certain sadness sometimes apparent, had accepted that her daughter was subtly volunteering to step up. Because when there was a job to be done, the women and the men in her family did it.
“Could you let the Syndaris know that Queen Sien is preparing to hit them because of the damage the pirates are doing to trade between Tiae and the Alliance?” Kira asked. “Syndar has been terrified of Sien ever since the War of the Great Guilds.”
“No,” Mari said. “I can’t threaten action, even indirectly, on behalf of Sien. That would commit her to following through if the bluff failed. One of the reasons the queen and I have remained on good terms is because I don’t presume to throw my weight around inside her kingdom. And Sien isn’t going to want to threaten action until she’s prepared to follow through on it if necessary.”
“Oh.” That made sense. Kira frowned down at her coffee, thinking. “What if… the Syndaris heard that Queen Sien was… thinking about… joint action with the Western Alliance against the pirates?”
Her mother smiled and nodded. “Which Sien would agree to me saying, because it doesn’t commit her to any action. And it is likely to get Syndar’s attention.”
“Is that what you’re going to do?” Kira asked.
“I’ve already sent a message to Sien asking if I can inform Syndar of that. I think the queen will agree. As a matter of fact, one of those dispatches last night told me she is going to open some secret talks with the Alliance in case action does have to be taken.” Mari hoisted her coffee cup in a salute to Kira. “Good job.”
Kira felt her face growing warm at the praise. “Thank you. Um, what about the librarians? Has Urth told us anything yet?”
“No.” Mari glanced at the sky outside the kitchen window as if the far-off star that warmed Urth was somehow visible during the day. “I haven’t heard anything new, which means that Urth still refuses to tell us anything about what might be buried under Pacta Servanda. As soon as Jason is fully recovered, we need to go take a look at it.”
Jason came in, smiling sheepishly, his hair still rumpled from sleep and walking a little stiffly because the bullet wound to his leg was still healing. “Hey, dragon slayer,” he said.
Both Kira and her mother turned to look. “Which one?” Mari asked dryly.
“Ummm, Kira. Sorry. Good morning, Lady Mari, Sir Alain.”
“Stop being so formal,” Mari said. “We’re going to be your parents whenever Kira gets around to setting the date.”
“Good morning, my love,” Kira said to Jason. “Want to get married today?”
“Sure,” Jason said, getting some coffee.
Her father shook his head. “You ask him every morning as a joke, but once you both turn eighteen, Kira, you might say that and find that Jason has turned the joke on you by having the papers all prepared and ready to say his promise to you.”
“Oh, Father, Jason wouldn’t ambush me into getting married without me even knowing what was happening! Who would do something like that?”
Mari bent a sharp look Kira’s way. “Very funny. Your father never complained… once he realized what had happened. I’ll remind you that after the wedding your father and I barely escaped before the harbor of Caer Lyn was locked down. There wasn’t any time to waste on explanations.”
“Maybe Jason and I will do the same thing,” Kira suggested. “A very quick wedding with just the two of us and then dash away before anyone can catch us.”
“You’re not allowed,” her mother said. “In part because there are still too many people who want to get their hands on you and too many assassins waiting to get a shot at you. But also because a lot of people want to be there when you and Jason exchange promises. Queen Sien would not take it well if you two eloped instead.”
“It’s not like Sien is still my queen,” Kira grumbled. “She never really was.”
“She’s always treated you like a daughter of her own, young lady. And she’s one of our best friends, who fought alongside your father and me to reforge the kingdom and defeat the Great Guilds. Even if she wasn’t the Queen of Tiae we’d want to give her wishes some consideration. But, speaking of the wedding, exactly when do you turn eighteen, Jason?”
“That’s a good question,” Jason said, sitting down beside Kira. “Relativity kind of messed that up. I mean, there’s my birthday back on Earth. If we did a straight count of Earth standard days, I’d be twenty-eight now. I think legally, on Earth, I am twenty-eight, if anyone still cares about me back there. But during my ten-year-long trip to this world, only about two months passed inside the ship because of how fast we were going most of that time. So in terms of how much I’ve aged, I’m really close to eighteen. I think I’m a little over eighteen. But your days aren’t exactly the same length as days on Earth, and your years aren’t exactly the same length, so… I don’t know. I doubt anyone knows.”
“If the date is so uncertain,” Alain said, “why not choose the birthday date on this world that feels right to you? No one can call you wrong.”
“A Mage’s answer,” Mari said, smiling. “Just make something up!”
“Not so,” Kira’s father objected. “If I understand Jason right, then the date of his birth on Urth cannot be used to determine his age here on Dematr. His exact age is not a fixed illusion like a wall, but something uncertain and ever changing, like the flow of a river. Pick any spot on that river, then, and say his journey began here.”
Jason scratched his head. “So, I can say I’m eighteen now?”
> “Nice try,” Kira’s mother said, offering him some toast. “But you don’t get to marry Kira until she’s also eighteen, and we know exactly when that will be. You’ve got another month before she’ll be of legal age.”
“We’re really not in a rush,” Kira said, grabbing another piece of toast. “I mean, we’ve already got each other.”
Mari nodded. “That’s what counts. But the promises count, too. You may not believe that, but when you say them, it matters, and you know it in your heart.”
“All right! I’ll try to decide when. Maybe we’ll do it in a couple of years,” Kira added.
“Fine,” her mother said.
“It’s almost like you don’t want to argue about it.”
“Almost.”
“Just remember that Jason knows he can back out any time before the wedding if he decides he isn’t comfortable always worrying about being killed by our family’s enemies.”
“I’ve survived everything so far. I’m sort of used to it by now,” Jason said. “Did I hear something about going to Pacta Servanda?”
“Yes,” Mari said. “We’ve been waiting for Urth to relent and actually tell us something, but so far they’ve simply ignored the last two messages about it that the librarians sent through the Feynman unit. I’m uncomfortable continuing to wait. Even if the weapons that might be buried there are still stable after all this time, there’s still the chance that someone might find references to them in the old files of the Mechanics Guild, and if they do that they might come up with some scheme to try to get them and use them. If you feel up to it, I can see how soon Queen Sien and the others can get here, and we’ll see what we can see of whatever’s buried under Pacta.”
“Okay,” Jason said. “I hope I’m wrong. But we do know the crew of the colony ship that brought your ancestors to Demeter—”
“Dematr,” Kira said.
“To Dematr,” Jason continued, “they broke a lot of rules. Suppressing most technology and knowledge of where you guys had come from, and putting themselves in control of everything as the Mechanics Guild. If they really did bury beta field generators and other weapons at Pacta, it could be a real mess to deal with. A scary mess.”
“We’ve dealt with scary messes before,” Mari replied. “But I agree with you. One less scary mess would be a nice thing.”
It should have a nice moment, one where Kira could relax with those she loved, but as she thought about the dangers of what might be under Pacta her Mage powers abruptly surged past the bonds she had placed on them. Kira, alarmed, concentrated on once again suppressing them as much as possible.
But her father had sensed the outburst, of course, and was watching her intently. Her mother picked up on that. “What happened?” Mari asked.
“Kira’s Mage powers suddenly became easy to sense,” Alain said.
Jason was watching her now as well. Kira tried to control a burst of annoyance fed by her own worries. “It’s all right. I’m fine. I just needed to reinforce the barriers I’ve built to keep them suppressed. Sometimes they break free.”
“Is that normal?” Mari asked Alain, her voice carefully neutral.
Kira’s father shook his head, his eyes fixed on Kira. “Many Mages work to hide their presence from other Mages. I know of none who seek to suppress their powers.”
“Well, I’m kind of unique, aren’t I?” Kira replied, her voice growing sharp. “I’m not supposed to have any Mage powers! It should be impossible for anyone who can do Mechanic work to have Mage powers, as I keep being reminded! So what’s the big deal if I try to suppress them? Maybe if I suppress them long enough and hard enough they’ll go away and I’ll be a little less of a—” She bit off the last word with a guilty glance toward Jason.
But he knew what she’d been about to say. “You’re not a freak,” Jason said in a low voice.
“Those Mage powers have saved your life,” her mother said, keeping her voice calm.
Her father nodded. “Kira, it is impossible to say what will happen if you continue to suppress the powers.”
She glared at them and shoved the toast and coffee away, her appetite and her happiness both vanished. “I can tell you what happens when I don’t suppress them! How do you think it feels to realize you’ve been blacked out and doing things without even being aware of them? Why would my powers do that to me if they weren’t trying to hurt me?”
“We understand your worries,” Mari began.
“No, Mother, you don’t! You can’t! None of you can! Because there’s never been anyone else who could be a Mechanic and also have Mage powers. It’s not natural! Everybody who knows has been worried about it since those powers first manifested, so don’t try to tell me this is something I shouldn’t worry about! And the fact that my powers keep fighting me is proof they want to take over! That’s not going to happen! They will either listen to me, they will stay completely under my control, or I will find a way to make them go away for good!” Kira jumped to her feet, trying not to glare at everyone. “Excuse me.”
She went out to the front porch and sat down, glowering at the sky, her insides churning with unhappiness. One hand went into her jacket pocket, her fingers feeling the loose cartridge and gaining comfort from that.
After a while, Jason came out as well, sitting down a little distance away but saying nothing.
“What do you want?” Kira finally asked.
“Nothing. I just thought you might want some company.”
“I’m fine.”
“Yeah,” Jason said. “But we’ve got each other’s back, right? No matter what, we’re there for each other. Like in the Ramparts.”
Kira covered her face with one hand, trying to calm herself. “How upset are my parents?”
Jason shrugged. “Your mom and dad aren’t happy. They’re worried.”
“And so are you. So why doesn’t everybody say, ‘You’re right, Kira. Suppressing those powers until they go away is a great idea!’”
“They hope you’re right.”
This time Kira buried her face in both hands. “I can’t believe I went off on Mother like that when she’s expecting. What’s wrong with me?”
“You’re seventeen,” Jason said. “Seriously. It’s a crazy time, even when you haven’t had to deal with kidnappings and war and dragons and stuff. Or so my life science classes back on Earth warned me.”
“The only good thing that ever came from Urth is you!”
“You guys all originally came from there. I mean, your ancestors did.”
“I’m trying to vent and you’re being logical,” Kira grumbled.
“Sorry.”
She looked over at him, feeling guilty for snapping at him earlier, old doubts forcing their way to the surface. “Jason, did you say yes to my proposal because it looked like we were going to die soon?”
His expression shifted rapidly from incomprehension to puzzlement to cautious humor. “That’s a joke, right?”
“I’m serious. We spotted the legions entering the Northern Ramparts and I asked you to promise yourself to me and you said yes and I can’t help wondering if you thought you had to so I wouldn’t lose all hope.”
He acted puzzled again. “You’re serious?”
“Just answer the question. Why aren’t you answering the question?” Kira pressed, a tight feeling growing inside her.
“Because… ” Jason paused before speaking slowly and earnestly. “The happiest moment of my life was when you asked me that. The second happiest moment was when I asked you back and you said yes to me. I really don’t understand why you’d think… I felt obligated.”
Kira frowned at the boards of the porch under her feet. “I’m not the easiest person to live with, Jason. I have my mother’s temper. I’m as stubborn as my mother and my father combined. I tend to… attract trouble. And assassins. We heard this morning there’s more trouble brewing! I’ve had those blackouts and have Mage powers I’m not supposed to have. I wake up screaming sometimes because of stuff t
hat’s happened.”
“You don’t wake up screaming very often,” Jason said, looking like he realized how weak that assurance was.
“I’m not beautiful—”
“Yes, you are!”
“Jason, even you called me ‘exotic,’ whatever that is.” Kira’s hand went up, two of her fingers stroking the long mark under her jaw. “I’m seventeen years old and I’ve already got scars! What do people think when they look at me?”
She heard him laugh and looked over, perplexed, to see Jason shaking his head.
“Kira, do you know what I think when I see that scar on your neck?” Jason asked. “I think it’s even more beautiful than the rest of you. Because I think about me lying there, I’ve lost a lot of blood, not sure how much longer I have to live, and you standing between me and the legionaries who want to finish killing me. I see you fighting like the toughest valkyrie out of Valhalla, determined to die before you let those legionaries get to me and kill me. Fighting like that for me. And I think, what did I ever do to deserve a girl like that? Maybe I have to do a lot more before I deserve her. Maybe I have to spend my life trying to do enough that I deserve her. Because I’m no special prize. But for some crazy reason this amazing girl loves me and says she wants to marry me, and I’m so lucky I can’t put it into words.”
Kira had to look away again, smiling with embarrassment. “What’s a valkyrie?”
“A type of female warrior,” Jason said. “They’re really brave and smart, and they never give up, and they believe in doing the right thing even when it’s dangerous or hard, and there’s no better friend anywhere, and exotic actually does mean a type of beautiful.”
She couldn’t quite stifle a laugh. “You’re insane. Have I told you that?”
“Fairly often,” Jason said.
She smiled at him. “I’m lucky, too. And I need to go in and apologize to Mother and Father.”
“I’ve got your back.”
“That’s my man. Did I tell you I love you?”
“Not yet today.”
“I love you,” Kira said. “And I’m sorry for going off on you and… doubting. It all gets sort of scary sometimes.”