“Question him?” said Bubba angrily. “That doesn’t sound like ‘questioning’ to me!”
“What do you mean?” asked De Coza uneasily.
“Come and hear for yourself!”
Bubba hauled De Coza to his feet and marched him across the courtyard. They reached the guardhouse and the door abruptly crashed open. The Scannell twins stepped out, each clutching a clipboard. Everyone gathered round and Gilbert regarded the crowd balefully, making sure he had their full attention before speaking.
“Vis-à-vis our little chat with Mr Shultz…” He turned expectantly to his twin.
Kenneth raised his clipboard, reading out the question in calm measured tones. “Is the show still running and going out on air…?”
Gilbert supplied the answer from his own clipboard, quoting Marty’s response. “Yes.”
“Is Toby Badernoch part of the production team playing a traitor in league with the Toymaker…?”
“Yes. Yes.”
“Was Major Hacker’s death faked as part of the show…?”
“Yes. Yes. Yes”
“And is the $10 million prize money still in fact on the table…?”
“Oh my sweet Jesus, yes.”
The Scannell twins lowered their clip-boards and De Coza slammed his fist into his palm in triumph. “I knew it! What did I tell you? The game’s still on!”
The three biker girls cheered, clinking their glasses in celebration. McBride, Thumper and Kennedy looked at each other uncertainly, ready to believe that De Coza was right. Only Bubba and Billy-Bob remained doubtful. Bubba peered past the Scannell twins into the guardhouse and saw Marty lolling inside the Tooth Fairy, unconscious.
“Okay”, said McBride, “just supposing the game’s still on? What happens now?”
“We track down the Toymaker to his secret lair”, yelled De Coza. “The traitor will lead us to his paymaster!” He drew up to his full five feet and solemnly placed Major Hacker’s helmet on his head. He surveyed the group of competitors, looking specifically at Thumper, Kennedy and Bubba and Billy-Bob whose robots had already been destroyed. “And anyone who comes with me will get a slice of that $10 million bounty!”
There was a chorus of drunken cheers from the biker girls who used his speech as an excuse to raise their glasses again and down the contents. De Coza grinned, bolstered by this response, and snatched up one of the burning branches from the campfire. He thrust the burning torch high and looked around the circle of faces, savouring the words he’d been waiting 45 years to cry. “We attack at dawn!”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
UNMASKING THE SABOTEUR
Toby’s eyes flickered open and he groaned, realizing he now had two headaches instead of one. The dull throb where the robot statue had struck him had now been superseded by a thumping monster of a headache in the centre of his forehead. His mouth felt dry and furry like it was full of cotton wool. Gasping for water, he saw that the ice from the glass of Coke he’d had earlier had melted and he drained the glass in one swallow. He groaned again, feeling nauseous and settled back in the couch, wondering if he had contracted some sort of tropical disease from a mosquito bite. Then he saw the empty whiskey bottle on the floor and the memory of the night’s drinking with Marty came flooding back to him.
He rose unsteadily to his feet, feeling worn out and unrefreshed. He had dozed fitfully the entire night, plagued by bad dreams. The image of Eve attacking Bill Hacker kept replaying endlessly through his mind; the robot walking jerkily towards the actor, his look of surprise as the blade snapped out of her hand, the lethal karate chop to his neck. Then Toby would jerk himself awake for just long enough to give the 30-second dream segment time to rewind and start playing once more. He had only been dozing for three or four hours but it felt like days.
Toby took his empty glass into the kitchen and filled it with cold water. He gulped it back, refilled the glass, then took it back into the living room. He saw the source of his nightmares standing where he left her at the foot of the stairs and for the hundredth time wondered about the nature of the sabotage that caused her to behave in such a homicidal manner. He reached for the pen-screwdriver he habitually carried in his shirt pocket and pulled it out. He circled the android, heading for the inspection hatch in the back of its head.
“What are you doing?”
Toby turned guiltily and saw Caitlin descending down the stairs. “Sorry, did I wake you?” he asked, looking at the dark shadows under her eyes.
Caitlin shook her head. “No, I couldn’t sleep.”
“Nor me. I kept thinking of…” He glanced at Eve and Caitlin nodded.
“So what happened to no one going near her until her memory has been analysed?” she asked, eyeing Toby’s screwdriver.
“I just wanted to check her log. If she’s been reprogrammed, it will show the time and details and—”
“Toby, please”, Caitlin interrupted. “Just leave it. You’re not going to gain anything by doing this now. Eve’s the only evidence you’ve got and if she gets thrown out of court because of your tampering, it’ll be you who’ll be held responsible for Bill Hacker’s death.”
Toby looked at Caitlin for a long moment then reluctantly turned away from the robot. “You’re probably right”, he said.
Caitlin looked relieved. “There’s no probably about it.”
Toby paused, struck by a sudden idea. “Wait a minute, wait a minute…”
Caitlin frowned at Toby as he turned back to Eve. “What?”
“Why didn’t I think about it before? It’s so obvious!”
“What’s so obvious?”
“Why don’t I just ask her?”
“You mean she can talk?” said Caitlin, surprised.
“Of course she can talk. She’s built from cyber-prosthetic parts, remember? Jaw, tongue, vocal chords, everything.” He turned to the robot. “Eve, engage speech interface.”
Eve’s head swung towards him, her eyes glowing a deep emerald. “Hello Toby”, she purred, her voice deep and throaty.
“Eve, initiate review of the last 24-hour period. Request identity of any personnel making unauthorised adjustments to hardware or software.”
“Yes Toby.” Eve’s processor started to whirr and Toby and Caitlin waited expectantly for the robot to deliver her answer.
CHAPTER FORTY
COUNCIL OF WAR
Dawn was fast approaching, although no light yet reached the horizon. Bubba, Billy-Bob, Thumper, Kennedy and McBride were huddled together in the fortress courtyard, having a whispered council of war.
“This has gone far enough”, said Bubba urgently. “Someone’s going to get hurt.”
“But what if Ray’s right about the money?” said Kennedy, glancing at De Coza who was dozing in front of the campfire next to the biker girls.
“There is no money!” hissed Billy-Bob. “That’s just wishful thinking.”
“And even if there was, you really think he would share it around?” added Bubba.
“Of course not”, whispered McBride. “But if there’s a chance that the 10 million bucks is still up for grabs and I don’t go for it… Man, that’s gonna be a decision I’ll regret all my life.”
Thumper nodded in agreement. “I guess I feel the same. There’s just too many coincidences, all of us being left alone on the island and all that stuff Marty said.”
Bubba roughly grabbed Thumper’s arm and pointed at the guardhouse. Marty was curled up on the floor, still unconscious. “They tortured him to get that information! He would have said anything!”
Thumper, Kennedy and McBride traded uncomfortable looks.
“Are you going let that happen to two 15-year-old kids?” asked Billy-Bob.
“It won’t come to that”, muttered McBride.
“Yes it will”, insisted Billy-Bob. “They won’t know where the Toymaker is, so what do you think De Coza is going to do, just walk away? No, he’ll hand them over to the psycho twins!”
Everyone looked uneasily i
n the direction of the robot workshop. The two dentists could be heard bustling around inside, preparing the Tooth Fairy for the coming attack.
“We’d never let that happen”, said Thumper with bravado.
“Who’s going to stop him? asked Bubba disdainfully. “You?”
Thumper flushed and looked to the ground.
“Okay, here’s what we’ll do”, said McBride decisively. “We’ll wait for Marty to come round and then question him ourselves. Find out the truth about whether the show’s still running or not. If it is, great. If it isn’t we’ll—”
“Do what?” interrupted Billy-Bob. “No offence, Greg, but we’re a bunch of old men.”
“If we’re going to put a stop to this we have to do it now, while they’re still asleep”, said Bubba.
“How?” asked McBride.
“We’ll restrain them”, said Bubba.
“You mean tie them up?” said Kennedy in disbelief.
“If that’s what it takes, yes”, replied Billy-Bob.
“And then what?”
“Wait for the rescue team. It can’t be long now.”
“And what if Ray is right? What if the competition is still on? What if we’re flushing 10 million bucks down the toilet?” McBride looked at Thumper and Kennedy and they nodded in agreement.
“I guess this is it then”, said Bubba, standing.
Kennedy looked up at them as they prepared to leave. “Ray’s not gonna be happy about you two double-crossing him.”
McBride studied the dirt under his fingernails, unable to look Bubba and Billy-Bob in the eye. “You’ve got a 20-minute head-start”, he said quietly.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
UNDER ATTACK
Toby stared at Eve, disappointment written all over his face. “Are you sure?”
“100% certainty, Toby”, Eve replied. “Review of all alterations over the past 24 hours by persons other than yourself; chassis – negative, power-source – negative, weapons – negative, defence system – negative, memory – negative.”
Caitlin scratched her head. “So what does that mean? There was no sabotage?”
“No, it just means that whoever did it covered up their tracks. Any competent programmer could have made Eve forget any adjustments made to her.”
“So we’ll never know who did this?”
“Oh we’ll find out alright. The saboteur will have left some sort of fingerprint on her hard-drive.” He tapped the screwdriver in his palm, gazing thoughtfully at the robot.
“Don’t even think about it”, Caitlin said firmly. “You’ll have to wait until—”
The door burst open and Marty staggered into the room, supported by Bubba and Billy-Bob. Toby and Caitlin ran to help them and the two old men gratefully lowered Marty onto one of the couches.
Toby looked in surprise at Marty, who was still groggy from the whiskey, Novocaine injection and nitrous oxide. “I thought he was upstairs in bed!”
“What happened to him?” asked Caitlin, looking at Marty’s swollen jaw.
“We need to get out of here, fast”, said Bubba.
“What’s going on?” asked Caitlin.
“De Coza’s got it into his head that the competition’s still running”, said Billy-Bob. “He thinks everything that’s happened is all part of the show.”
Toby stared at him in amazement. “What?”
“You can’t be serious?” Caitlin cried.
“You haven’t heard the best bit”, said Billy-Bob, turning to Toby. “He thinks you’re a traitor in league with the Toymaker.”
“Where the hell did he get a crazy idea like that from?” Toby demanded.
Marty flinched at Toby’s accusing glare. “I just agreed with everything they asked me…” he whined. “I just wanted the pain to stop…”
Eve swung round towards Toby, her chest unit flashing. “Caution. Robots approaching. South-east, 100 metres…”
Marty sat bolt upright in panic. “It’s them!”
“Closing in, 90 metres…” said Eve.
Toby ran to the shelf and snatched up Eve’s prosthetic limbs. He ran back to the robot and snapped her lower arms back into place. “Prepare for combat”, he yelled and blades extended from both of her hands.
“Closing in, 70 metres…” said Eve.
Toby turned to Marty. “South-east’s the direction of the fortress, right?”
Marty nodded.
“Is there an exit we can use?”
“Only from my bedroom, but that’s the direction they’re coming from.”
Bubba and Billy-Bob looked at each other glumly. “We’re trapped!”
Toby turned to the door and saw it was made from thick wood and was equipped with heavy bolts. “Eve, defend the door”, he commanded. Eve obediently positioned herself in front of the door and secured the bolts. Toby surveyed the rest of the room, looking for areas vulnerable to attack. The long picture window facing the sea was flush with the edge of the cliff, so there was no way it could be used to gain access to the house. The only weak spot was the windows facing the jungle. He turned to Bubba and Billy-Bob. “Quick, we’ve got to barricade those windows!”
Bubba and Billy-Bob nodded and ran to the dining room table. It was made from a single slab of teak wood and was incredibly heavy. They tried to lift it and grunted with the effort. Caitlin and Toby ran to their aid and between them they managed to tip the table over and wedge it against the largest of the three windows.
Marty watched indignantly as they shoved the ornate table into position. “Hey, that’s valuable!” he yelled.
Toby pointed at the two smaller windows that remained uncovered. “Get those windows blocked!” he barked. Marty nodded meekly and helped Caitlin slide the coffee table and the drinks cabinet towards the windows.
“Closing in, 20 metres…”
Toby, Bubba and Billy-Bob ran to help Marty and Caitlin and within seconds the luxury home had been converted into a stockade.
“Five metres”, said Eve. Her body rotated, tracking the approaching robots. “Four metres, three, two, one…” She stopped moving, her body positioned towards the front door. Toby signalled to Eve, and graceful as an acrobat, she did a backwards somersault, landing on top of the door frame.
Toby silently walked to the door and peered through the security spy-hole. He frowned, puzzled.
“What is it?” whispered Caitlin.
Toby quietly slid open the bolts then stepped away from the door. He signalled to Eve to open it.
“Toby, what are you doing?” hissed Caitlin.
Eve slowly eased open the door with her foot, then jumped down, hand poised to deliver a lethal karate-chop.
“Stop!” Toby yelled.
“What is it?” said Caitlin, running over to the door.
The robot sheepdog from Redneck’s Revenge looked up at her and issued a pitiful electronic whimper.
“Scotty!” Bubba cried, turning to Billy-Bob. “He’s come back to us!”
Caitlin smiled in delight and stooped down to get a better look at the dog. It was a tiny steel Scottish terrier, about the size of a puppy, modelled with great skill and craftsmanship. Its lean muscled body was intricately carved, giving it the illusion of fur. The robot sheepdog snuggled up to Caitlin’s hand and she scratched it behind its triangular ears. Its stumpy metal tail wagged furiously and she started to laugh.
Eve hadn’t moved from her position, her hand still poised to deliver a lethal karate chop. “Prime directive, destroy all robots?” she repeated.
Toby looked down at the little metal dog and smiled. “I think we can afford to let this one go.”
Eve reluctantly lowered her arm.
Marty pointed at the robot dog, aghast. “You mean to say we trashed my home for that… Monopoly mutt?” His mouth dropped open comically and everybody started to laugh.
With a terrific crash, an entire section of Marty’s living room wall caved in. Dumpmaster’s massive head emerged through the splintered wood, jaws gnashin
g.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
CORNERED
Dumpmaster’s jaws snapped down, tearing great chunks of the wooden panelling free from the wall so it could gain access to the house. Everyone turned to the front door to escape and saw the Tooth Fairy scuttle along the veranda towards them.
“Up the stairs”, Toby yelled.
“Are you crazy?” screamed Marty, pointing at Dumpmaster’s savage head. “We’ll have to go past that thing!”
Toby didn’t waste time arguing. He grabbed Caitlin’s hand and raced up the stairs, timing it so they passed Dumpmaster just as it was flinging a mouthful of wooden debris back into the jungle. The robot saw Caitlin and Toby sprint past and bellowed angrily, showering their retreating figures with splinters and sawdust.
Bubba, Billy-Bob and Marty backed into the living room as the Tooth Fairy attempted to squirm through the narrow doorway. Realizing the space was too small, the robot swung a tooth-studded fist into the door-frame, splintering it. The robot tried to squeeze through the door again and Bubba saw with horror that the gap was now wide enough.
“Run!” he yelled.
Eve somersaulted over Dumpmaster’s head and the larger robot lunged at her in mid-air. Its jaws snapped down with a hollow clang just missing the android and the three men dived beneath Dumpmaster’s head.
Dumpmaster watched the group fleeing up the stairs and furiously smashed its way into the house. The robot started to follow them up the stairs, squeezing its massive bulk in the gap between the wall and banister. With an ear-splitting crack the banister was wrenched free of the wall, the wooden supporting spindles flying everywhere. Dumpmaster toppled sideways off the staircase and crashed to the ground.
De Coza ran into the living room as his robot was clumsily trying to right itself. He looked angrily up the stairs then turned to the Scannell twins who had followed him into the house. “They’re escaping!”
Gilbert affectionately patted the side of the Tooth Fairy. “Get them”, he hissed.
The Tooth Fairy eagerly scuttled up the staircase in pursuit. The robot was just narrow enough to clear the stairs and it reached the upper floor just as Marty and the others joined Toby and Caitlin in the bathroom at the end of the hallway. The robot withdrew all its appendages so it could squeeze its bulk into the narrow space then charged.
Toby heard the ear-splitting screech of metal against wood and turned. The Tooth Fairy was hurtling towards him, the sides of the robot’s body carving deep grooves into the wooden panelling, leaving spirals of wood shavings in its wake. He slammed the door shut in the nick of time and the Tooth Fairy crashed against it, the impact shaking the bathroom.