Read Destroy All Robots Page 4


  Stacey turned to Jimmy and Chris who were lagging behind, struggling with their equipment. “Five minutes max with each team, okay?”

  Fire Chief Greg McBride stood awkwardly in front of the camera, considering Stacey’s question. His robot, Blast Furnace, lurked in the shadows behind him.

  “What would I do with the prize money?” he asked. “Take early retirement I guess. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no droid-hater. The simple truth is… It’s kinda lonely now, hanging out with a bunch of machines.”

  Stacey nodded, feeling a pang of sympathy for the melancholy fire chief. He’d told her before about his long, lonely shifts in San Francisco, maintaining a fleet of fire-fighting robots. He still sorely missed the old buddies he used to work with.

  “Maybe if I was younger it would be different”, McBride continued. “But I still remember what it was like working with human fire crews.”

  Stacey smiled her thanks to McBride then quickly moved on.

  “And now let’s meet our next competitor”, said Stacey, walking towards a sprightly man in his sixties wearing a Boston Red Sox baseball cap. “Coach Kennedy, who baseball fans will remember was the last ever human coach for the world famous Boston Red Sox team.”

  Kennedy pulled a face and Stacey could tell that this was still a sensitive subject. Kennedy had been forced to retrain as a robot maintenance engineer after specialized pitcher-trainer robots made his coaching skills obsolete. She knew that he still felt bitter about being replaced by a machine, even though it was over 10 years ago, and he still insisted on everyone calling him Coach.

  “Feeling confident, Coach?” she asked.

  “Quietly confident”, Kennedy replied, glancing at the bulky outline of the Boston Wrangler hidden under a dustsheet. “Quietly confident.”

  Stacey angled her microphone towards a pair of farmers in their seventies with grey straggly beards. “And joining me now is Bubba and Billy-Bob Badgett with their sheep-shearing robot, Redneck’s Revenge. Think she’ll cut the Toymaker’s robots down to size, Bubba?”

  “Yessiree”, cackled Bubba in a shrill Southern accent, “the fur is gonna fly!”

  Stacey smiled, enjoying the hicks-from-the-sticks hillbilly routine the two roboticists put on for the cameras. No one would have guessed that behind the beards and dungarees were two well-spoken ex-professors from the Louisiana Agricultural Institute.

  Billy-Bob grinned in agreement with Bubba, displaying tombstone teeth. “She’s a real baaaa-d-ass!”

  Kenneth and Gilbert Scannell bowed in unison when Stacey approached and the presenter suppressed a shudder. Something about the antiseptic identical twin dentists made her skin crawl. Beneath their well-mannered exterior, Stacey sensed a repressed violence simmering, and she wouldn’t have been at all surprised if they had chosen the profession of dentistry so they could legitimately inflict pain on others.

  Their robot, the Tooth Fairy, was the stuff of nightmares and Stacey was relieved to see that it was lurking in the shadows, out of sight. The production office had already received numerous letters of complaint from concerned parents and the U.S. Body of Dental Practitioners had tried to have the robot banned on the grounds that it made children terrified of dentists. Marty had enjoyed the controversy enormously as the show had ended up on the front pages of several newspapers.

  Gilbert gazed at the camera balefully, considering Stacey’s question. “I wouldn’t say the children are more afraid of us because of the Tooth Fairy, would you Kenneth?” said Gilbert in a clipped British accent.

  Kenneth Scannell shook his head decisively. “Certainly not Gilbert. The children are our friends.”

  They smiled identical chilling smiles and Stacey backed away, eager to move on to the next competitor.

  Thumper was a breath of fresh air after the creepy dentists. The gawky 20-year-old roboticist was relaxed and upbeat, dressed in a garish Hawaiian shirt and baggy Bermuda shorts.

  “I’m treating this more like a vacation than anything else”, grinned Thumper, settling himself comfortably in his chair. “Sun, sea, getting on TV. It’s cool, people already recognize me in the street now, they say, “Hey, Thumper!” You know, after my Thumper robots?”

  Stacey nodded; she had seen the funny-looking robots on the news countless times, cheerfully bouncing around disused mine-fields like suicidal bunnies until they landed on a land-mine and were blown up. The United Nations used stacks of them to make conflict zones safe again, earning their inventor a small fortune. He had christened his robots Thumper on account that they bounced around like the Disney rabbit in Bambi. However everyone invariably referred to the inventor by the same name as his robot because of his prominent buck-teeth and goofy grin.

  “So any thoughts on your robots being ranked last for the competition, Thumper?” Stacey asked. “People consider them essentially harmless.”

  “Marty’s allowed me to make a few modifications”, smiled Thumper, tapping the side of his nose craftily. “Attach land-mines specifically…”

  Stacey had heard a rumour that team number six made their living from running an illegal motorcycle garage in Detroit, and looking at the drunken, leather-clad hellcats sprawled before her, she didn’t have any trouble believing that. Roadkill, Uzi-Rider and Typhoid Mary were a frightening-looking trio, all bulging biceps and plunging cleavages and tattoos saying things like Ride Hard, Die Free and Leave A Good-Looking Corpse.

  Roadkill, the leader of the gang, took a swig of Jack Daniels whiskey and fixed Stacey with an unsteady gaze. “The prize money?” she slurred. “Screw the prize money! You really wanna know why we’re here?”

  “The clue’s in the title, baby”, cackled Uzi-Rider, snatching the bottle from Roadkill. “Destroy All Robots.”

  Stacey nodded, remembering the animosity bikers felt for robots. During the early 21st century, cars and motorcycles had become increasingly computerized, evolving into a form of robot. Road safety campaigners were quick to realize that robot drivers were safer at the wheel than humans and had forced through legislation giving the computer control of the vehicle if it went over the speed limit. This had proved very unpopular, particularly with the biker community who saw their choppers as symbols of rebellion and freedom and bitterly resented the presence of an onboard computer that drove like a cautious old woman. Consequently illegal garages had cropped up all over the country where mechanics, for a hefty fee, would override the speed control device.

  Typhoid Mary belched in agreement with her two friends. “We hate those sons of bitches!”

  Ray De Coza was clearly a man with height issues, Stacey decided. As soon as she and the camera crew had approached him, the stubby refuse collector had drawn himself up to his full height, eyeing Jimmy and Chris (both of whom were much taller than him) aggressively. Stacey also doubted it was any coincidence that the smallest contestant on the show had built himself the largest robot. Dumpmaster towered behind De Coza, making him look even smaller than he really was.

  “…yeah, I hauled trash for a living”, drawled De Coza in his thick Brooklyn accent. “I’m not ashamed of that. I worked my way up the hard way, and now the sign on my door reads Senior Robot Technician.”

  Stacey tried to look impressed, although she had seen video footage of De Coza at work inside the filthy hopper of a garbage collector robot, trying to unclog one of its recycling chutes. It was a squalid, demeaning job.

  “So Ray”, said Stacey lightly, hoping to finish the interview on an upbeat note. “Any message for the Toymaker if he’s watching?”

  De Coza’s face abruptly darkened at the mention of the Toymaker. “I’ve only one thing to say to that freaky robot-loving scumbag”, he growled, turning directly to the camera. “IT’S TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH!”

  Stacey blinked, a little taken aback by De Coza’s intensity. It was almost as if he believed the Toymaker was a real person. “O-kay…” she said uncertainly.

  “I’m gonna kick the Toymaker’s scrawny ass all the way back to Toytown
!” De Coza continued, working himself up into a frenzy. “I’m gonna get that no-good piece-of—”

  Stacey smoothly interrupted, wishing De Coza would remember this was a family show. “Thank you, Ray De Coza.”

  Stacey walked towards the final contestant and was pleased to see that Toby Badernoch really was as young as Marty had made out. He looked exactly as a junior mad scientist should look, with his blond, unkempt hair and geeky glasses. Marty had talked for hours during production meetings about how they were going to play up Toby’s youthful age in the show, portraying him as some sort of child prodigy who had inherited his mother’s genius for robotics. Apparently he had a crippled brother with a terminal illness which was 24-carat TV gold as far as Marty was concerned. The public always loved an underdog, especially one with a dying brother.

  Toby looked up as Stacey approached and she caught a glimpse of Eve standing in her recharging bay. He even had a sexy robot! This was getting better and better. Her mind was already working on her commentary when the robots fought in the live part of the show. Maybe she could call her the bionic woman, that was sure to please Marty. He loved a good punchy sound bite.

  Stacey checked that the camera team was ready to start filming and then stepped forwards with her microphone. “Toby Badernoch, welcome to the show. If I can start by asking—”

  She tailed off as a female production assistant appeared at the doorway behind Toby, ruining the shot. The PA flashed Stacey an apologetic look then turned to Toby.

  “Mr Badernoch, you’ve got a call on the holo-phone from London. It sounds like it’s urgent.”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  PROUD

  Toby hurried down the corridor towards the holo-phone booth, with a sick sense of foreboding. He had been expecting this phone call ever since he had arrived on the island and was surprised it had taken his mother this long to discover his note.

  Toby had put a great deal of thought into where he was going to place the note telling her about the competition as he didn’t want her discovering it before he was safely on the ship. But on the other hand he wanted his mother to know he was participating in the show before the production office sent out the press release about him to the media. After considering various possibilities he had ended up simply putting it on his desk. His mother was used to him skipping meals when he was engrossed in an experiment and would probably only become concerned once he hadn’t come down for lunch or dinner. At that point she would have gone to his room, found the door unlocked and seen the note.

  The door of the holo-phone booth slid smoothly open and Toby stepped inside. He settled back into the moulded plastic chair and mentally prepared himself for the coming onslaught. He pressed a switch on the console and a hologram of a teenage boy on crutches materialized before him. He looked like an older, brawnier version of Toby with short blond hair and an easy smile.

  Toby grinned at the sight of his brother. “Hey, Matt! I thought it was going to be…”

  Matt pulled a face. “I don’t think she can trust herself to speak at the moment.”

  “She’s pretty mad, huh?”

  “More upset than anything.”

  “About me building the robot?”

  “About everything. Stealing the parts, forging her signature on the consent forms, getting Caitlin involved, you name it.”

  Toby smiled ruefully. “Oops.”

  There was no answering smile from Matt. “Listen, Tobe, I’ve been having second thoughts…”

  “Oh come on, Matt, we’ve been through all this…”

  “Tobe, you don’t understand how crazy things are here. You putting Eve into the competition is big news, it’s on the net, on the TV, in the papers, everything. It’s turning into a real circus.”

  “It’ll all blow over.”

  “Toby, PROUD’s got involved!”

  Toby looked startled at the mention of PROUD. PROsthetic Users against Discrimination was a militant disability rights group that had formed soon after robots started to become unpopular. During the first wave of robophobia, many people fitted with cyber-prosthetic limbs became victims of robot hate crimes as they were often perceived as being half-robot. They endured name-calling, having their cars and houses sprayed with anti-robot graffiti, even getting attacked. PROUD had campaigned tirelessly for this prejudice to end and for its members to be treated just like normal people.

  Matt nodded, seeing that Toby was finally taking this seriously. “They’ve been on the TV all morning, telling everyone to boycott the programme. They’re saying a cyber-prosthetic robot appearing on this sort of show would put their work back by 10 years. They’re even picketing mum’s clinic!”

  Toby chewed his lip in concern. It hadn’t occurred to him that him entering Eve into the show might backfire on his mother. “I can’t pull out now. You know what we could do with that prize money.”

  “But what if you don’t win?”

  Toby pulled out the Sniper Robot head that he’d taken from the beach from his backpack. “You see this? It’s just a basic robot-drone they use on the show. But the technology… it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Just this alone has given me a dozen different ways I could take the research.”

  “Toby…”

  “Don’t you see? Even if I don’t win, we’ll still be in a better position! I can find a cure, I know I can!”

  Matt set his jaw, his expression determined. “Toby, listen to me. I want you to pull out. That promise you made me… We were kids, okay?”

  Toby shook his head stubbornly. “That doesn’t change anything. Listen Matt, I’ve got to go.”

  “Toby, wait…”

  Toby leaned forwards and pressed a button on the console and the hologram of Matt disappeared.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  THE PROMISE

  Toby didn’t move from his position in the holo-booth. He sat in the darkness, hypnotised by the row of illuminated buttons twinkling on the console, Matt’s voice echoing in his head.

  That promise you made me…

  Toby had never seen it as a promise, more like a sworn oath. He shivered as memories of that fateful day welled up in his mind, the pain as fresh and raw as if it happened only yesterday.

  It had all started on a sunny afternoon at their home in Hampstead, North London, when Matt was eight and Toby was six. It was a Saturday and Matt had been playing with him all day, helping him build a tree house in the back garden. This was before Matt had to use crutches permanently, just for when they went on long walks. He remembered how hard Matt had worked, hauling the planks of wood high up into the oak tree and hammering them into place, the sweat pouring down his face, determined to finish before his two o’ clock nap.

  His mother had called Matt in just as he was halfway through putting up the roof and Toby was left on his own. He played for hours in his new tree house, thrilled with the novelty of seeing the house and garden from this new elevated position. That was the last time he could recall feeling truly happy, sitting contentedly on the wooden platform, his legs swinging, the late afternoon sunshine on his face.

  A voice floated up from the garden below and Toby saw it was Samantha, Matt’s friend from next door. She said that she had something important to ask him and Toby reluctantly let her come up. He wasn’t overly fond of Sam as she had a crush on Matt and often competed with Toby for his attention. He shuffled over on the wooden platform to make space for her and it was there that she asked the question that changed his life forever.

  At first Toby had thought Sam was joking when she asked him if it was true that Matt was going to die. He was about to yell at her to stop being mean, but then he saw the sparkle of tears in her eyes. The whole world lurched sickeningly. Suddenly the tree house was too high, he was going to fall, he had to be on the ground again. He pushed blindly past Sam and scrambled down the tree, the branches grazing his legs. And all the time, Sam’s voice racing round and round in his head; was his brother going to die?

  He raced
into the house looking for his mother, wanting her to comfort him, to tell him that it wasn’t true. He found her in the kitchen, preparing their evening meal and listening to a play on the radio. She dried his tears, sat him down at the kitchen table and turned off the radio, and for some reason seeing his mum turn off the radio was the most heartrending thing of all. It meant that they were going to have a serious talk and before she’d said a single word Toby knew that what Sam had asked him was true.

  His mother explained that she had planned to tell him this when he was much older, but as he had asked her now, she wouldn’t lie to him. Matt had been born with a very rare illness called Scadlock’s disease, which affected his brain. It was a degenerative disease, which meant that it was something that would slowly get worse, not better. She explained that although there was no known cure, and that most people with the disease died before becoming adults, that didn’t mean a cure couldn’t be discovered. Matt had every chance of surviving.

  Toby heard the false optimism in his mother’s voice, and a wrench of awful finality ripped through him. His brother was going to die! He shoved past his mother and raced up the stairs towards Matt’s bedroom, a terrible anger mixed up with the hurt. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t fair! His dad had ran out on them before he was born and now he was going to lose his brother as well!

  Toby burst into Matt’s room and tearfully flung himself on his surprised brother who was lying in bed reading a Spider-Man comic. After weeping inconsolably for several minutes, Toby managed to collect himself. He lifted his head so he could look Matt in the eye and fighting back the pain, the tears, the searing heat of his anger, he vowed that he would find a cure for Matt, swore that he would save his life. Matt smiled and nodded, his kind eyes telling him that he understood.

  Toby glanced at his watch, the luminous dial glowing in the darkness of the holo-booth. He’d better get moving or he’d be late for the start of the show. He tried to focus his thoughts on the competition ahead, but he could still feel the burning pain in his heart. It had smouldered inside him ever since that awful day, a constant in his life, something to be counted on. He was grateful for it in a way; it was like having a battery, a power source he could channel into fulfilling his promise.