CHAPTER NINE
A Year's Supply of Diapers
It was another typical day in the typical neighborhood of Muddy Heights, where a shabby two-story house perched between two much nicer homes. The sun slanted in the front windows of the shabby home, softening the wheezing of Mrs. Finster as she jogged next door, and the muttering of Mr. Rockhart as he gardened on the other side of the house.
Inside the house, Mo and Flo had just been 'plopped' painfully in their playpen so Mama could go watch 'The Emotional Minefield' and ball her eyes out. Dada was in his office, trying to explain to Mrs. Sluft about the mysterious email she had received from his office that he had found her missing husband in L.A. rather than Kansas City--and which had proved to be dead right!
"Let's go see what Dada's up to," said Mo, heading to the corner of the playpen with the secret exit.
"You know," said Flo as she followed him, "one of these mornings Mama's going to get suspicious when she realizes Dada's not the one who's been letting us out of our playpen while she watches her show."
In a few seconds the babies were out of the playpen and heading toward their father's office door. But as they passed the windows on either side of the front door, they stopped. A car was clearly visible through the windows, which had just pulled up to their shabby house.
"Do you think that's--" began Flo.
"Yep!" said Mo triumphantly. "Who else would it be?"
The babies sat expectantly by the front door. In another instant the doorbell rang. As soon as Dada answered it, Elise burst in the door, racing over to the babies. "Flo and Mo!" she cried. "It's so good to see you again!"
Smiling behind Elise were her parents, the newly restored King and Queen of the (still) hidden Aztec city. Their elderly servant who had pretended for years to be Elise's grandmother was also there, as was the high priest Urlosh--better known to the Flitz's as 'Uncle Earl.' All of them were dressed in normal clothes rather than the royal garments of the Aztecs, in order to avoid drawing attention to themselves.
"We have come to again offer our thanks," said the king as he stepped into the humble home. "And in doing so, we would like you to have this--" With a flourish, he pulled from a bag an object made of solid gold, glimmering blindingly in the sun. It was shaped to look exactly like a baby's diaper!
"Why thank you!" said Dada, blinking in surprise. "But I really couldn't accept this. It's far too grand for us, you know."
Mama came into the room, her eyes wet from 'The Emotional Minefield.' "How good of you all to come!" she said happily through her tears. Seeing the golden diaper, she exclaimed. "My, oh my! Does this mean the royal family is expecting again?"
Everyone laughed. "No," said the king with a smile. "We simply wanted to offer this token of our gratitude for your having restored our daughter and our kingdom. What you did was truly remarkable--I still can't figure out how you accomplished it!"
Dada nodded modestly, not about to reveal that he was just as mystified. "All in a day's work for a detective," he said in an effort both to accept all the credit for everything that had happened, and deny it at the same time.
The king looked at Dada. "I thought you might be reluctant to accept our gift, so I arranged for an alternative. This is one which I think you will find harder to refuse."
He turned and waived toward a truck which had just pulled up in front of the house. On the side panels it said 'Dipple's Diaper Deliveries.' A man in a white smock hopped out of the truck. He had a happy smile, but a very thin nose, which looked like it could naturally plug itself with no assistance if a stinky diaper came near. He jogged up to the front door and held out a form for Dada to sign. "Sign here for your year's supply of diapers!" he said with a flourish. "We'll deliver a box containing 100 diapers every week, for the next 52 weeks!"
"My goodness!" cried Mama, holding her hand over her heart. "I can't believe it!"
The King and Queen laughed. "Believe it!" they both exclaimed. The King suddenly swooped down and caught Flo up in his arms. "Please come and visit us as often as you can!" he said. "Only, you'll have to use Uncle Earl's secret entrance, since we must keep our city a secret from the outside world."
"We'll definitely come," said Dada. Then he added curiously, "So what have you done with Maxilan?"
"Well, after he recovered from his shock of returning to the city and finding us in control, we tossed him in the same prison room where he kept us for so many years. He will stay there as long as he made us stay there--nine years."
The queen leaned over and picked up Mo. "I don't know how we can ever thank you for all you did for us," she repeated, her eyes watering. Mo looked at her worriedly. He hoped she didn't start blubbering, or he didn't know if he'd be able to avoid joining her. "You restored our darling Elise to us, after all these years. Having the kingdom back is nothing compared to that!"
"I know what you mean," said Mama, beaming at her pudgy offspring. "I can't imagine going without my little pickle faces for more than a few hours!"
"Things are starting to get just a bit too sappy for me," said Flo suddenly to Mo, through their mental telepathy.
"Hear, hear," answered Mo. "If they start blubbering again, I'm done for."
"There's one sure way to bring them back to reality, "said Flo. "I can feel it coming on--in fact I don't think I could hold back if I wanted to!"
"Don't tell me!" cried Mo.
"That's right," said Flo with a smile.
A sudden odor filled the room, causing the king to quickly put Flo back on the floor. The diaper man's nostrils closed automatically of their own accord.
"I'll just go get a diaper," said Mama politely, turning to head into the next room.
"Allow me," said the king with a smile, turning to the diaper man, who instantly pulled one from a hidden pocket. With a flourish the king handed the diaper to Mama--
--and then everyone started to laugh.
Detectives in Diapers: The Mystery of the Scarecrow Pen
Mo and Flo are back, this time in search of ghosts who bumble around the basement of an old house every night. However they soon discover they are not merely dealing with clumsy ghosts. What is REALLY at stake is a million dollars in stolen cash from an old bank robbery, which the robber hid before he died.
But Mo and Flo and their incompetent detective father aren't the only ones on the trail of the money. A new set of robbers has appeared - and these guys are so mean they don't even think Mo and Flo are cute! Will the babies be able to recover the money and stop the robbers in time?
Itchy Mitch and the Taming of Broken Jaw Junction
In the year 1885, the sleepy little Nevada town of Broken Jaw Junction is a quiet place--until Old Jake finds gold! Suddenly the town is overrun by outlaws, galoots and trouble makers of all kinds, and there doesn't seem to be a sheriff in the old west who can stop them.
That is, until vegetable-loving 'Itchy Mitch' Gardiner arrives. He looks like a harmless West Virginia farmboy who would rather just plant tomatoes and hoe weeds than fight outlaws. But somehow he manages to stop quick draws, bank robbers, cattle thieves, claim jumpers and bullies. And he does it all with just a few carrot sticks and celery!
It looks like Sheriff Mitch is unstoppable and that law and order and vegetable salad have come to Broken Jaw Junction to stay. But even Itchy Mitch isn't invincible, and one day he meets his match in a most unexpected foe ...
The Wards of Clovis Gloober
Maddie has never cared much for the stars, her world revolving around normal eight-grade life at Centennial Middle School. Then she befriends an exchange student named Asteria, a girl with glowing white skin.
But there are a number of strange things about Asteria. Why does she claim she's never been outside to look at the stars at night? Where is the strange place called 'Rana' she says she comes from? Who is the mysterious 'Clovis Gloober' who acts as her guardian? And why is the dark-eyed boy named Ukrat so determined to ruin Aster
ia's budding friendship with Maddie?
Asteria unexpectedly takes Maddie on a fantastic journey among the stars, a voyage beyond Maddie's wildest dreams. But not long after, Maddie and Asteria are faced with a terrible choice that threatens to destroy them both ...
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