out of character for me. I took hold of her hand. It must have shocked the hell out of her, because she looked right in my eyes and didn’t even question it. She just let it happen.
I said, “Naeva, I don’t know how you felt when we met last night during the sunset. I only know how I felt, and I just knew I wanted to see you again and spend time with you. You weren’t wrong about that. I asked you to come last night because I wanted you there with me, not my friends and Angie is just one of my close friends. I wanted to be with you because, well, I thought you were very…..well, you just made me feel happy.”
As soon as I stopped talking, I just dropped my head and looked down at the sand feeling absolutely mortified. My brain screamed, “What the fuck did you just say?” but as I was about to run into the lake and drown myself, she took hold of my hand with both of hers.
Then, she looked at the with the warmest most radiant face I’d ever seen and said, “Are you going to have another fire tonight?” I just nodded. She started to move onto her knees looking like she was going to stand up, but to my surprise, she put her hands on both sides of my face, and kissed me just to the left of my mouth. She whispered in my ear, “I’ll be there tonight. I promise.”
As she rose to her feet, she told me “I have to go now.” and she grabbed her towel and ran back toward her car. It was then I noticed her bag and coffee thermos were still sitting beside me, and I yelled, “What about your bag?”
She said, “Give them to me later! See, now you know I have to come back.”
I watched her jog back toward her car, and disappeared beyond the beach house. Without a doubt, I felt so happy at that moment. I couldn’t believe she kissed me. Hell what am I saying? I couldn’t believe I had the courage to open up to her like I did. It just happened. I was on top of the world at that moment and I sat there by myself for quite a while. I just wanted to enjoy that moment, you know? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share it with anyone. It seemed like it belonged to me.
Jay snapped his fingers and looked up, “Terry, you know, now that I’m remembering how Naeva and I met, it reminds me of a question I’ve always had in my mind.”
“What’s that?” Terry replied.
Jay said, ”I could never understand back then how Naeva and I seemed to click from the first time we met you know? I always wondered if that was normal for people who just met like we did.”
Terry placed his note pad down on the desk beside him and said, “First of all, I want to make it clear that like to avoid the word normal. I’ve found, that when it comes to human behavior, normal is about perspective. What’s normal to one person is abnormal for another in almost every case, so the only question is, what’s normal for you? Are you someone who likes to express intimacy quickly with people you meet?”
Jay thought for a moment and said, “That’s a good question. I guess I always try to make it go that way. I mean I hate all of that formal bullshit small talk that people do when they first meet. “Nice weather we’re having." Jesus, it’s fake, it’s tedious and frankly it’s just dull. We’re all people you know?” He chuckled and remarked, “So much for me becoming a politician. Still, as much as I try to avoid all of that formal ceremony, people don’t like to open up too quickly. They like the superficial bullshit, don‘t ask my why. I think it for them it's safe, know what I mean?”
Terry said, “So not only is this behavior normal for you, but you aspire to bring it out in others. You’re just unsuccessful because of their anxiety and comfort level when meeting new people. Does that sound right?”
Jay nodded, “Sounds like your dead on. Damn you’re good.”
Terry asked, “What about Naeva? Do you think she had a lot of those similar traits when meeting new people?”
Jay replied, “I would definitely say that’s true. I mean I understand why we clicked, but the way we brought one another out of our shell was…I guess the only way I can describe is overwhelming. It was like tearing open a bag full of water, like an emotional flood between the two of us from day one. She told me later that she was on the same emotional ride I was. She never spontaneously kissed anyone she just met like she did that morning. That was one of the reasons she left so quickly. She was embarrassed she did it.”
Terry nodded, “I can see that from what you‘re telling me, this was unique. Finding someone who can elevate your emotions like that can be very moving in a person’s life. Jay, I want you to continue with your story but before you do, I’d like you to do something for me.
“What’s that?” he said.
“For a moment, I want you to describe the type of person Naeva was without using experiences or examples. In other words, she was pretty, she was kind, she was happy. Do you know what I mean?
“Not exactly” Jay said
“Terry said, “I’ve observed that you have style of speaking that uses stories and metaphors to explain things. I personally do the same thing so believe me when I say that I’m getting a perfect image of your relationship with Naeva. What I’m going for is just how you view her without worrying about whether I have the same vision. Am I being any clearer now?”
“Crystal clear, I get it.” Jay sat back in his chair and smiled, taking in a deep breath. “Ok then, no metaphors or stories.” He replied, “Naeva was unique I..uh.” He chuckled and said, “This is gonna be a bitch, you know that? I’ve never had to describe her to anyone let alone like this.”
He paused and said, “Alright, I think I got it. Imagine someone very intelligent with a clear understanding and philosophy of people. She was balanced always. She was very curious of everything in life and everyone liked her because she was just an all around good person. She was so happy all the time, passionate, loving…she um…uh.
Jay felt his eyes fill with tears and an upwelling of emotion began to take hold of him. He quickly sat up, cleared his throat trying to hold back the sadness and succeeding rather quickly. Then he drank some water and worked up a half smile.
Looking at Terry he said, “How did I do boss?”
Terry replied, “You did great. I’m also sorry I made you go through that exercise, but it gave me a clear picture of how much you were romanticizing her memory and how much of it were solid traits. Don’t worry I won’t make you do that again.”
Jay nodded, “That’s good to hear. I was going to say it’s better than a sharp stick in the eye but I have to think about that.”
Terry said, “I know, don’t worry, this will all get easier with time. Grieving is a process, not a way of life."
Jay shrugged, “Really, I’m fine. Those emotional outbursts are what I’m trying to put an end to. At least you got to see one firsthand now. You know they see time heals all wounds. What they don‘t tell you is how much scar tissue you end up with.”
Terry chuckled, “I like that, I may steal it. So, going back to the story about Naeva and how you met. I take it she showed up that night by the campfire?”
Jay now settled back into the chair immediately feeling more at ease. “Yes she did, and what a night that was.”
“Please, continue.” Terry said.
“The strangest thing that you can imagine happened that night, hours before Naeva even got there. We all did the usual daytime beach stuff, only there was a lot more sleeping instead of swimming. Apparently a few of us, like B-Bob and Angie, went overboard celebrating our first night out. They both looked like they were about to either puke or cry. Instead they just whined.
We made some hot dogs for dinner and that made them feel better. We also started the party from the beginning again which is also a good way to put the hangover it behind you.
Well about 9:00 o’clock, the sun was mostly set, and we moved down the beach to our little spot from the night before. I got the fire started and Angie comes over and sits by me and says, “So Jay, is your little French
girl going to take time out of her busy schedule, and actually show up tonight?”
She said it in a kind of smartass way, which I thought was weird, but I knew she couldn’t resist teasing me about certain things. She did that a lot actually. It was kind of her thing.
I just gave it right back to her telling her that she wasn’t French, she was Canadian and she’d be there. Expecting another verbal jab, she surprised me by saying nothing, and it was right about then Ron became aware of the fact that we were almost out of liquor. It was funny because he held up the bottle that had hardly anything left in it and goes, “What the fuck B-bob. This was a half gallon of 100 proof booze. Did you use it to start the fire or what?” Billy Bob points at Angie who remarked, “OK, sure it was all me, the whole half gallon!”
Ron starts cracking up and said, “Dude, that means four of you drank a half gallon of SoCo? Holy shit!” I just laughed, but Angie said, “Fine, I confess, I can’t even blame it on Jay and Holly. This was mostly me and Billy. C’mon dork, we’re going on a liquor run. I’ll drive you pay.”
So they left and the rest of us collected more firewood. We made a huge pile which wasn’t tough since