beach for a while?”
I could see Holly and Angie give each other one of their looks. Naeva just smiled and nodded. She turned to Angie and said, “We’ll be back.”
Naeva and I waded back to shore, dried off and began to move further down the beach. She was very quiet at first, which worried me a bit having never seen that side of her until then. Then she looked up at the sky and said, “Look. Look how beautiful it is.” I tilted my head back and saw the moon breaking through the clouds. The clouds were glowing a pretty blue grey color and floating along peacefully.
We both stopped walking for a moment, and just looked up, admiring the night sky.
That’s when I finally summoned the courage to say what was on my mind. I moved in front of her so we were face to face and I said, “When I told you how much I loved your sand castle, I meant that, but I wanted to say so much more. I just wasn‘t sure if I should.”
I looked into her dark eyes that were staring up into mine, and the dim light and reflection of the moon made them look black and infinite. I had no trouble telling her my feelings when I felt like I did at that moment, and I said, “I’m still not sure I should be saying this but I am anyway. Since I met you, and I know that just happened yesterday, which is strange in itself, I feel so different. I don’t feel like myself.”
I realized how horrible that sounded and shook my head, “No, that’s not how I wanted to say this.”
I took a deep breath, “I don’t feel like myself, but in a good way, you know? I don’t usually feel comfortable saying things like this to someone I just met. In fact I never have. I know that sounds like I'm giving you a line, but I'm telling the truth. I never felt this comfortable with someone so quickly. Not the way I‘ve been with you.”
I rolled my eyes and smirked and said, “You’re probably listening to me thinking that I’m doing a poor job of looking comfortable, the way I‘m floundering through my words.”
She looked almost upset as I said those words and replied, “I don’t think you’ve done anything since the moment I’ve met you that hasn’t been perfect. This morning at breakfast, I told you I got scared because of last night. I mean we did just meet and I really don’t know you. Then, when I saw you with Angie last night and I thought you were just one of those guys who are, well…you know.”
“Douche bags?” I replied. She let out a giggle.
Then she smiled warmly at me and continued to speak, "You described those type of men very well, and yes ,I didn't really know for sure. After tonight though, I know that’s not you.” She giggled, “God not at all! How wrong I was ever thinking that? I've been having such a wonderful time with you tonight.”
Then she looked in my eyes again and said, “I still am.”
It was those words that caused all of the inhibition to leave me. I said, “I’m so attracted to you, I feel afraid saying it. I’m finding out something else about you every minute. About who you are, or how you think, and I keep waiting to be disappointed. I keep telling myself that I’m getting carried away thinking the way I’m thinking, but I keep coming up with the same opinion of you, and it seems unbelievable.
I began to stroke her hair and just whispered the words, “To me your just, perfect.”
We moved toward one another and locked into a kiss and an embrace that felt astonishing. I have never been able to explain why it felt the way it did. It felt like we’d been in love for a long time, and had been reunited after months apart. Hell, all I knew is that I felt like I was in heaven and I wanted it to last forever.
It took a while, but we finally pulled ourselves apart and could see that we were both breathing more rapidly. Then we just stood looking at one another’s faces with a sort of bewilderment. It was then, she said three words to me that I’ll never forget.
She said, “Who are you?”
Terry chuckled and smiled at Jay saying, “I would have bet money that you were going to say the three words were I love you. Why did she ask, “Who are you?”
Jay smiled and looked completely happy when Terry asked him that question. Then he said, “That night, I had no idea what she meant and was too nervous to ask her. I didn’t find out until much later what that meant. Don’t’ worry, I’ll tell you when it makes more sense."
Terry smiled and nodded his head, “That’s fine, I like a good suspenseful story, but I don’t want you to forget to tell me so if I ask you again, just tell me it’s still pending OK?” He then made some written notes on Jay’s therapy log.
Jay replied with complete confidence, “Trust me Terry, I won’t forget. I couldn‘t forget.
After that kiss, it changed everything. There was no more wondering if she really liked me or fears of me trying to deceive her. It was a kiss that put everything in overdrive.
That night you would think that after that, we would have continued to escalate things and run headlong to the finish line right? Well we didn’t. In fact, I was so overwhelmed by the feeling she gave me I didn’t know where to go. She acted much the same way that first night, although I couldn’t be sure it was for the same reason.
The big change that happened was how we acted toward one another. We became a couple after that, spending every moment of every day together. To be honest, I can’t even tell you what my friends said, or if they cared. I forgot they were there and I was deaf dumb and blind to everything and everyone with the exception of my beautiful Naeva. As you can imagine, we graduated from hugging and kissing and things went out of our control like throwing gasoline on an inferno.
Terry asked, “You mean you were having sex?”
Jay said, “Everything but the obvious kind. She never had intercourse with anyone and said she wanted to wait. Not to be crude, but to me that made no difference. That was like being at a buffet and being told one of the items are not available, you know? All you have to choose from are 100 other delicacies in front of you. My god, I was so in love, I was happy just to hold and her and lay my head on her as she fell asleep. The I’d then listen to her heart beat and her breathing and feel so happy. Make no mistake, that was “not” the limit of our activities. She was not a girl who had inhibitions and nor did I.
Jay stopped for a minute and looked as though he remembered something and asked, “Terry, have you ever been intimate with someone that you loved so much, sex was almost a spiritual experience?”
Terry started to laugh, “Was that a rhetorical question or do you really need an answer?”
Jay replied, “I need an answer.”
Terry said, “Yes, I have.”
Jay sat quietly and smiled for a moment, and then said, “Then you’re a lucky man. Let me correct that. We both are lucky men. Being with her, pleasing her, holding her and remembering how she smelled and tas.….I remember it now like..like I..”
Jay stopped speaking again, and well on his way to becoming emotional. He then took a deep breath and continued, “The most amazing experiences of my life were spent in her arms. Did you know that when we finally did have sex, I mean intercourse, it was incredible!”
Terry asked, “You mean because you were so in love.”
Jay smiled and sat back in the chair, “You would think that would be the extent of it but is wasn’t. It’s funny because when Naeva told me she wanted to wait for that to happen, she said she wanted it to be a special moment with the person she loved. I never questioned her on what that meant, and I never pressured her either. I just figured that when it happened it would happen.
Well one day, during our second week together, we were sitting on top of this sand dune just admiring the scenery and feeding some gulls. In the distance, we could hear a rumble from this thunderstorm approaching from over the lake. Because there’s nothing to stop the sound of the thunder moving over the water, it almost sounds like it growls as it approaches. It’s really fun to watch and a bit frightening as well.
It was a really hot day so we were sit
ting in the shade of this tree half buried by the shifting sand. Although we were in the shade, it was still hot, but there was a breeze and we started to kiss one another. I don’t know if you were ever in the dunes, but it’s not like you run across a lot of people if you find the right place to hang. As long as you stay away from the trails, you can pretty much count on being alone.
We moved to a place where we were hidden on the far side of one of the dunes, and shrouded by a canopy of big oak trees that grew down in the valley. It kind of made us feel like we were up in the treetops. I remember we were just kissing and moving onto a long list of intimate activities that I'll leave to the imagination.
The storm was getting close now, and it was kicking up a cool wind that felt great. The trees started to move and sway and the whole adrenaline rush made us all the more tense and passionate. None of this was planned, and I think that’s why the whole set of events worked out the way it did. Looking back at the moment, the thought of two people naked sitting under tree tops on a 100 foot sand dune during a lightning storm was not the best place to be. Would I do it again? You bet your ass I