Chapter Ten
Elise picked at her plate, eating a few bites just to look normal to the other humans in the dining car.
Blake had been intrigued that she could eat at all.
She was silent throughout most of dinner, struggling to think up something to say and failing. Blake didn't seem to expect her to chat, either. Elise felt frustrated. Couldn't she even make small talk to ease his evening? Was she so out of practice with how to act in a social setting that she'd been stricken mute? She was a vampire; she could lift the train car and carry it if she had a mind to! Yet she couldn't come up with a way to start a single, pleasant conversation. How humbling.
"Things have been quiet for almost twenty-four hours," Blake said.
Shame stung her, forcing out a blur of words. "I'm sorry. It's just that I'm not very good at conversations. For years, I hardly talked to anyone aside from Mencheres, and he knows me so well, few words are needed. I would like to speak with you, Blake, but I find it extremely difficult coming up with the proper words to say. "
He stared at her, his mouth quirking. "I meant the demon had been quiet for almost twenty-four hours, but. . . you want to talk to me?"
If Elise had still had blood pressure, she'd have blushed. Of course Blake had been referring to the demon. She was the only one focused on herself, narcissistic fool that she was.
"Never mind," she murmured.
Blake's hand slid across the table, touching her arm. "I'd like to talk to you, too," he said. That little quirk to his mouth faded, making his face very serious. "If that's all right. " His fingers were warm. Blake wore a white button-down shirt, the neck open, showing off his beautifully sculpted throat and collarbones. Black pants fit him well, emphasizing not only his leanness but also the strength in his legs.
Elise downed her water in a gulp. This was bad. She hadn't felt this way about a man since - well. And that had ended horribly, too.
"Elise?" Blake was still staring at her. "Is that all right?" No. Because if I don't pull back now, if I don't distance myself from you this moment , I'm going to hurt like I haven't hurt in decades. My coldness and apathy are all that can save me.
But just as Blake was helpless over the fate that brought him ever closer to the salt flats and the end of his life, neither could Elise bring herself to turn her back on him. Some things had to be done, no matter their cost.
"I'd love to talk to you," she said. "Let's go back to the cabin. " Mencheres wasn't in the cabin when Blake entered it. Elise didn't seem concerned about his absence, however, so Blake didn't question it. Maybe the vampire was getting some overdue sleep. Or finding his own dinner.
"Here. " Blake gestured to the bench across from him. "It's comfortable, if you have a good imagination. "
She smiled, showing pretty white teeth without that curve of fang he knew lurked in her mouth. Even though her hair was still damp, and she didn't wear a speck of makeup, Elise's beauty was obvious. She seemed unmindful of the looks she garnered, though. Hell, Blake had thought the train porter was about to ask her out when he dropped off the check.
Was it real? he wondered. The movies hadn't been right about much concerning vampires thus far, but what if Elise's looks were some sort of illusion? A predator's mirage in order to lure her prey closer?
"Is that your real face? Or do you look. . . " Blake paused, trying to choose an inoffensive word,
"different?"
She frowned. "I look different when I shed my human disguise, if that's what you mean. "
"Yes, that. " So he'd been right about the glamour. What was under it? "Can I see you? The real you?" Elise's blue eyes began to swirl with green, growing brighter, until they were pure emerald and cast a glow in the small cabin. She opened her mouth enough so that Blake could see the tip of her tongue touch two white fangs that hadn't been there a moment ago.
"This is me," she said, voice soft and almost hesitant.
Blake waited for more. When nothing happened, he was confused. "I've already seen you like this, right after we first met, remember?"
"I remember. " For a moment, she looked as confused as he'd felt. "I thought you must have forgotten, since you asked to see the real me. . . "
Blake couldn't help himself. He laughed, which made her eyes glow an even more vibrant shade of green.
"What's funny?" She sounded pissed.
Blake waved a hand, controlling himself. "I thought maybe you were using some sort of spell to look so goddamn beautiful, but it's just you. No wonder Mencheres changed you into a vampire. Who wouldn't want to keep you around forever if they could?" Her mouth was still open, but now, it looked more like in disbelief. "You think I'm beautiful like this?
But you're human!"
She said it as if that was a logical reason he shouldn't. Blake sighed. "Doesn't mean I'm blind. " She seemed to shrink a little in her chair, and she looked away. "I'm a vampire. I drink blood, I don't breathe, and my heart doesn't beat. Don't I scare you?"
Blake thought of all the things he'd seen - and done, though thankfully he didn't remember those parts
- the past several months. Elise, scary? She couldn't be less frightening to him.
"You don't scare me. " His voice was rough. "In fact, I think you're the closest to an angel that I'll ever get. "
Something glittered in her eyes, making them brighter. It wasn't until a pink tear slid down her face that he realized what it was.
"Oh, God, Elise, don't cry," Blake said. He moved the short distance across the cabin to take her in his arms, half-worried she'd shove him away.
She didn't. Her arms wrapped around him, amazingly silky skin pressed against his cheek. Elise felt cooler than he did, but not in an icy, lifeless way. No, the supple, soft touch of her flesh felt as alive as his. If he hadn't known what she was, Blake might have thought the air-conditioning was just set a little low.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "It's so wrong of me to burden you with my tears. Please, let me go. " Blake didn't want to. Holding Elise felt more right than anything he'd done in well, he couldn't remember howlong. "I need this, too," Blake said.
Once, he'd have been too guarded to admit to such vulnerability to a woman he didn't know very well, but now those games seemed like a waste of time. Time he didn't have.
She moved so he could sit on the narrow bench with her instead of balancing over her. Blake pulled Elise onto his lap, resting her head under his chin, and closed his eyes. In the quiet, pressed close to each other in their mutual need for solace, there was more honesty than Blake had experienced in all his other relationships. She's what I've been missing all my life, Blake realized, but not in remorse. It was in deep appreciation that he'd been allowed to meet her before it was too late.
"I was engaged in the fifties. " Elise's voice was barely audible over the rumblings of the train.
"Edmond didn't know what I was. I'd told him I couldn't have children, but he said that didn't matter. I thought he'd accept the rest of me, too, if I could show him I truly loved him. Mencheres urged me to tell Edmond what I was, not to start our marriage with such a great deception between us. So, the night before our wedding, I showed Edmond my true nature. "
She was trembling. Blake smoothed his hands down her back.
"He was so horrified. " It was a pain-filled whisper. "He called me defiled, unclean, a hell-spawn. He wouldn't listen, no matter what I said. He ran off, but I thought with a little time, his fear would ease, and he would come back. He did come back, the very next morning. I woke up and Edmond was in the room with people I'd never seen before. They all had wooden stakes, one as long as a pole, and. . . " Elise's voice broke. Blake's arms tightened around her.
"Edmond had them hold me down. I didn't struggle, because I thought if Edmond saw I wasn't fighting them, he'd realize there was nothing to fear from me. I kept pleading with Edmond to stop, but. . . " Elise's voice changed. Became flat and emotionless. "Edmond shoved
a stake through my heart. I stared into his eyes the whole time. He was furious when I didn't die - he kept stabbing more wood into my chest. I couldn't think through the pain, and at last I fought back. Edmond's neck snapped when he hit the wall. The others were injured, but they lived. They ran away, and I left my house to live below the train station in the tunnels. I've mostly avoided people ever since, because if I didn't care about anyone, then no one could hurt me. "