Chapter 4
The ill
We looked forward to the report. On the morning of the third day while I was in jewelery phoned me Eleana. "The thing is serious" began to sob. "Eleana Please, do not cry" I whispered. "It's so" he said. "Calm down, explained" I answered her. She read: "Injury".
I wondered what it meant and I felt incapable of any thought. I could hear the labored breathing of my wife and I stumbled. I leaned over the counter. She sobbed louder and louder and her words were an agony.
I said angrily "Do not jump to conclusions" I warned: "Do not say it to my father for heaven's sake, do you know who is suffering from heart and my mother would die from the pain."His words had the effect of making me feel burdened by an obligation which seemed excessive, but I bite my lips as I saw Vittorio coming toward me. I remained silent with the phone to my ear and looked at my father in law staring at me. "Ele, sorry, I'll call you." I closed communication.
"What?" He asked me. "Nothing, nothing, the clock is almost mounted?" The advantage distracted that was on the verge of putting together three well- placed pieces that are worth the many hours of labor costs. I thought that at this point, the only useful thing to do was to call Verter. "Injury is also synonymous with cancer, I know someone very experienced" he said bluntly, as he would one of his patients. I realized that I appreciated him as dowry to speak directly, until now, until it had happened to me to hear him speak with such rawness. The horn sounded in the store. I have not had the courage to call Eleana, I sent you a message, and I informed that I would come home soon.
Lowered the gate, I sat behind the wheel, the headlights were in place, I started the engine. With the body to the skin of the seat, in the silence of the coatings, I walked into the hill toward home. The stereo loud I'm not distracted. I was tired in body and soul grieved. I thought to Victor, we uncles, Eriberto in the fact that he walked away from us now that he was grown up, but it was always in our hearts. I saw him with his affectionate way of course, as we explained the young world that did not know, we followed him unconditional and you could not tell who she was and who the guy adult.
Traffic was heavy in the narrow streets of the center. I left the brightly lit street and walked the last stretch on a steep slope; the automatic transmission was in sync with the four-wheel steering and slowly walked up the driveway past the gate of the villa. I have seen the light of the hall reflected in the rose garden, and on the big fir tree in the garden.
My discomfort increased. I was confident of being able to work around her anxiety, but did not know how. I entered. "Ele, I'm back," I said and, hunching me, gave her, who was sitting in an armchair by the fireplace off, a kiss on her forehead. I saw she on the carpet, at her feet, on the coffee table of crystal, books of medicine and computer. I did not need to ask her what she was doing. He told me right away. Had collected information and had arrived at the same conclusion that in two words made me understand Verter and that I was not going to reveal them. I told her: "Do not demean, waiting to know how things really are" but I said nothing about the fact that Verter told me.
I climbed the stairs, I went into the bathroom, and I filled the tub. I looked in the mirror pale face, marked by circles and graying sideburns, and I was doing a grimace. I felt disoriented and I needed to relax as soon as possible. I went into the water, I put my head under. I thought his strong figure, heavyset and deep gaze and immediately, I do not know what corner it was hidden on a conversation unpleasant that I had forgotten, and I returned to head his own words: "I am unlucky" he said without stopping the enigmatic half-smile, " I was born November 17 ." We had not given credit; it was a party for her eighteenth birthday. I emerged. The bathroom I had not relaxed, in fact I felt more desperate than before. I decided to face the anguish, I fell from Eleana.
The next day my wife and I were sitting in the narrow dressing room and stared at the black and white plates of the occipital lobe, where the suspect had left did find. "You see it is as big as a tangerine" the professor told us, and I did so with his head while his eyes remained glued to the portion shown in the image. Sweaty hands I froze in their own moisture and I felt suffocated by the heat that I went up to the neck. I could not believe.
It was not possible. I thought of that fruit, so well preserved in the thin peel from orange globes rolled, that tight in his hands, is to revel in advance pulp cloves sugar, and I did not like the simile. I did not accept. I denied the reality, as if it belonged to Eriberto, as if he had an escape. I was sure there had to be. "It must be operated on urgently, if it grows risk their lives" the professor explained to us, and we saw forced to abandon the illusion of an error, and we realized that the tragedy had come into our home.
At the end of the month Eriberto underwent excision. "The operation was successful" said the professor, and there we shot a little. "It is a rare tumor and third -grade malignancy" he added. "It cannot be true" I repeated. I climbed inside, from the heart to the head, despair, but we continued to fight and our unbelief fed the seemingly indestructible nature of our grandson. I could see him, as before, while it was said, and with the fingers of one hand between the curls blacks move in habitual gesture, he said "Things - sborone- to die" a Bolognese idiom for "wonderful" and laughed in amusement.
Then we returned from the long hospital visits with the discomfort and consoled us talking about him. I came to mind his affectionate messages left on our answering machine, "Uncles, I wanted to say hello, give a basin, that's all." I tried to support Eleana, I remembered when she wanted to reason with him about his future, enrich it with moral conversations, and he let her speak, careful and thoughtful, his head slightly bent to one side before exclaiming: "Vote Ele", with voice nasal exit from the hands to the mouth as a megaphone to the imaginary campaign rally.
Eleana smiled and found another episode, I talked about Eriberto after his first concert while showing me, hanging on the wall of her room, the shirt he wanted to keep a little ' with the " smell " of that evening, and he thanked me of that my gift brought to him from London. We remembered together his seasons: the season of video games, the season of firecrackers, the season of the electronics laboratory, and the season of music.
Months passed, Eriberto was recovering. We saw him accept therapy marked by many pills and long cycles of radiation, with heroic endurance. The seasons passed, and we were close, and he lived with epileptic seizures, with tenacity, he resumed his plan actually, with prudence and caution, changing the previous perspectives. His habitual gesture, as I spoke, it was to cover the seam vu bald head with his hand close to his cap black.
Did violence on ourselves in everyday resistance not to wonder what would happen later in time, where we could no longer imagine what would become our grandson, prevented from living with the disease. My wife continued to rely on Divine Providence. I confided in care, knowing that nothing could go back to before. I tried not to think about. I took him to anger.
I suddenly became intransigent. I had anger towards those young people, who waste their lives, that if they smoke it in every way. I wanted to say "do not understand that there are many young people suffering in hospitals, in disease, that so many young people like you, there are more and if you have not tried."
Verter returned in jewelry, a summer day. "Silvio, this time, I made a bargain" he announced to me putting a bag on the counter and pulling out gently crystals. What had bought in Mexico? Yeah I thought so, in fact, pulled out of the bag three amethysts of varying degrees. There were three specimens of high-quality varieties of rose quartz purple light. I have observed them under the microscope; I have analyzed the inclusions and the accuracy of the facet, in cutting a brilliant run. "Discrete "I said "I could make a ring and a pair of earrings in yellow gold "I advised him."Did you read my mind?" He said. I'd be curious to know what kind young lady had shared the trip, but I would have never asked.
He told me: "So how's your nephew, improves?" Asked me and regardless of the fact that at a short distance from me was Vict
or. I struck at him. I saw that Victor put a time an old grandfather clock from the wall. I found an excuse and wore exit Verter. "So Silvio, enough is enough, what you hide?"
Here is that Victor took off his glasses and laid it on the desk pendulum clock. "Eriberto find there is far too long, we did a Christmas card to your phone and you told us that Easter was away with friends, what's going on?" "It's true, we did not want to worry, his wife is not well, but I'd rather wait Eleana, I know it will come soon."I said, and we remained in silence, I loaded stirring the ticking of clocks every bill that cut the ' air, to go one step without the other.
Eleana is finally pointed out beyond the entrance with the hair broken by the wind and a pleated skirt lifted his knees. "Ele "I told her to speak without the other, "Your want to know, is good at this point." She widened her eyes and would have strangled me. "Maybe its better sometimes to know, imagine that" I tried, gently, to reason with her. We told the truth.
It was February, when a year after the first surgery, Eriberto came to us with their grandparents. He tried to be for companionship, but his strength was limited, had the need to lie down to rest more often. At the time we say goodbye, I saw that Victor spoke to Eleana on the sidelines. "What you had to say to you so important?" He wondered later, a little annoyed. I did not think I was hiding something. "My father gave me this," declared showing an audiotape. "What's in it?" "Precisely not know. He told me that is his story." "What a strange thing" "You know how special he is."
Eleana walked to the stereo system. He said: " He asked me to transfer the registration and get it delivered to Eriberto because he should know that, at his age, has threatened several times to die in the war, if it had happened, he would not even come into the world." I seemed to understand his philosophy of life and thought I recognized her attitude so seemingly detached and serene.
It was November when he lost his mother and I Eleana three months later, returning from an errand, I found Victor with his head on the plate of labor had left the life of just disassembled and its parts tweezers still between his fingers. I was deafened by the ticking of the clocks that had adjusted well, but his time was now finished. I cried the tears that I had for my father.
Then, the strong young tree, another tangerine, matured. We had been silent before the ordeal. Inside of us knew, but hoped, wanted the sky, as late as possible, did not want to be its witnesses. Instead, in the cold morning in late January with Eleana walked the aisle and I was tempted to let her go alone. The smell of disinfectant made me go back in regurgitates breakfast made in a hurry, and thoughts of disaster returned against me in nerve discharges.
Under the milky light, I looked at her. Her eyes were red and deep eye sockets, cheeks falls, gaps between the hairs, I put it. I wondered where it was more the face of the pretty young woman. That's what I thought, full of excitement. The moist air heated by radiators made me sweat and I was short of breath. Took off his coat and unbutton the collar. "What you do not you come?" She said, turning to me. Just then we saw him , his body covered by a white coat and head from the headset green, we passed in front of anesthetized brought to the operating room and we went behind quick, until his eyes only, escorting him, went above and beyond.
Eriberto was into the instrumented operating room, in the hands of the professor and his team once again. The surgeon faced with the mask to his mouth, and mentioned a greeting. "Hello boys" I repeated that he would say now if we had been able to Eriberto healthy. And we remained talking about our pain, our nothingness, our hope.
The tension came over me. I felt like someone was punching in the chest and thick ascending intermittent left shoulder, faster and faster, as the sound signals, pedestrian crossings, they say latecomers to move, which soon triggered a halt. We walked into the waiting room. The humid air, saturated with odors in a mixture of remains of drinks and cigarette smoke, bodies, and food, and ink printing, and newer drugs enveloped me.
Do not sit on the bench worn to mark the suffering of those who had preceded us. I saw people on the chairs and realized that they had spent the night there. I felt a definite malaise, nausea, I went up over my mouth and I had to get away as soon as possible. Eleana had the air of pass out at any moment. She wanted us to be present. I was not of the opinion.
Too many different circumstances led us in that hospital and I was afraid the anxiety. Boulders painful memory had taken possession of our couple history. The first project ate us waiting thirteen endless hours. She was becoming unbearable and I showed the weaker of the two in the hold to despair. "Come with me, you know I cannot be alone" she insisted. She was stubborn and me, as I was suffering, she did not think even for a moment.
"Do not worry, sit here, I go out for a walk" I said and without waiting for an answer, I went out on the forecourt. I walked to the tree-lined avenue. I had to exorcise the fear of death. I walked and I saw several buildings in the citadel framed by the pale winter sun.
Memories of the past and Eriberto chased me happy accentuated in the emptiness of the present. I repeated what was good, open, loving, capable, and I lost the orientation more. I absolutely had to do something to distract me.
I purchased the monthly newsstand. With the magazine ' Diamonds and precious ' under his arm, I climbed up the driveway in search of a bench. I walked out of breath as if it were wearing armor. I sat down to flip through the pages and the colors I remained stamped in the palm of your hand. I tried to read an article about the auction of diamonds.
I kept saying "Diamonds, my only passion," went through my mind the many gems and rarities that I bought for my collection, spending a fortune and I thought the banquet he had made a good investment and that I could do to reduce the sorrow for the death of Ele. I read with eyes the words, but I could not fix them. I could not sit still. I resumed wandering.
I walked briskly between paths and open spaces of green trees and felt the cold penetrate the bones. Now I recognized the place where I stopped with Eleana talking to her mother before she was consumed in the incurable disease and torment us in the end. She told us: "Guys, do not worry about me, think of you." Now I noticed that she was calling us guys, but I did not recognize anything in us in support of that name.
I moved into the area hospital, his head was spinning, but I did not want to come back to her. I had nothing to say to you, I thought it was unreasonable to spend the day in that way, which I had to open the jewelry, that there were too many hours at the end of surgery and after, what would we do? After awakening, just did not know what was going on, no longer as before, when we came to visit him in the hospital with the idea of comfort and instead had to think again because it was he who comforted others helping his neighbor's bed and playing with children's department near you amused and asked him. It was wonderful to see how much energy faced with the situation.
I emerged from my thoughts when I realized that I have come to the Chapel. I entered, and in the dim light, I saw Eleana kneeling in prayer. "Ele we go out to eat something" I said and grabbed her by the arm, and carried it out into the light. "Remember, I was here with my mother and I were saying a rosary" she told me and I was afraid that began the endless string of sad facts.
"Yes," I answered her, dragging her almost to the point of dining and drinking, I was the memory of how it had happened and if that Sunday, waiting for her with a bouquet in hand, in the shade of a pine tree, between his house and the church, I knew how hard it would be with her, I would not have stayed.
Meanwhile, Eleana had finished drinking tea. He looked at me. "What is Silvio?" She asked me. "Like you do not know" I thought. "There it is useless to stay here, you know, it is perfectly useless," I said gruffly. She flinched. He went back into the building and returned shortly after, in his hand a piece of paper written with a number to call, but no earlier than twenty-one, it was useless before.
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