‘Not stolen, Addie! What harsh words! How quick you are to jump to conclusions. I bought this little fairy child. I paid five whole guineas for her too, so I hope she’ll work very hard and repay my generosity.’ He gave me a little shake.
‘Don’t, Beppo, you’re frightening her. Poor little creature, you look scared to death.’ She leaped gracefully from her horse and knelt down beside me. Her face was even prettier close up, her cheeks so pink, her lips very red. I breathed in deeply because she smelled beautifully of fresh roses. I felt the tears trickling down my face.
She reached out and gently mopped them away with a lace handkerchief. Her hand was so white and smooth and delicate. I realized how grimy I’d become since living in Willoughby Buildings, where there was just one cold water tap outside for goodness knows how many families. But even if I scrubbed all day in a hot tub, I knew I could never get my skin as white and perfect as hers.
‘There now, my dear. My name is Madame Adeline – and this is my dear horse, Midnight. Would you like to pat him?’
I nodded timidly. She took me by the hand. Mister was reluctant to let go of me, but Madame Adeline pulled his fingers away from my wrist.
‘Let her be, Beppo. Poor little girl! You’re pinching her. She’ll get a horrid bruise. There now.’ Madame Adeline rubbed my sore wrist tenderly. ‘What’s your name, dear?’
‘I’m Ellen-Jane Potts, ma’am,’ I whispered.
‘Not any more you’re not,’ said Mister. ‘That’s no name for a little circus star.’
‘Little Star . . .’ murmured Madame Adeline, sounding sad.
‘Think of a name for her, Addie – you’ve got the knack for it,’ said Mister, suddenly wheedling.
‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,’ said Madame Adeline, tucking my hair behind my ears. ‘My, you have lovely bright hair. I shall wash it for you with my special shampoo and then it will sparkle in the sunlight. What shall we call you? Like a diamond in the sky . . . Diamond! There’s your name, little one – Diamond.’
‘I like it! Little Diamond, the Child Wonder!’ said Beppo. ‘Oh, Addie, I knew you’d come up trumps. That’s your name now, Miss Fairy. Little Diamond. Say it now.’
‘Little Diamond,’ I lisped obediently.
Mister chuckled and rubbed his hands together. ‘Yeth, lickle Di-mond,’ he said, imitating me.
‘Twinkle then, little Diamond,’ said Madame Adeline, and she lifted me up, her graceful arms surprisingly strong, and sat me on top of Midnight. I gave a little shriek to be up so high, and slipped sideways the moment the horse moved a hoof.
‘Whoopsie,’ she said, swinging me down again. ‘Well, she’s not a natural horsewoman, I’ll tell you that for sure.’
‘Hands off! I’m not having you training her up. She’s going to be a little acrobat,’ said Mister.
‘She’s too old to start,’ said Madame Adeline, which surprised me utterly.
‘I’m eight years old, ma’am,’ I said. ‘Though most folk think I’m only about five.’
‘See! Out of the mouths of babes . . . We’ll bill her as an infant phenomenon,’ said Mister. ‘She’ll do a turn with my boys.’
‘No, you can’t do that to her! She’s a light little thing and will look as pretty as a picture once she’s had a good scrub, but if you try cricking her bones bendy at this stage, you’ll just break them,’ said Madame Adeline.
‘I’ll hardly need to touch her!’ said Mister. ‘Right, little Diamond, show Madame Addie here what you can do. Go on then! Turn a cartwheel and walk around on those hands like a crab.’
‘I don’t want to,’ I said shyly, ducking my head to hide behind my hair.
Mister drew my hair aside like curtains and stared straight into my eyes. ‘Now listen to me, little fairy,’ he whispered. His voice was so soft I could hardly hear him, but so sinister it was like the hissing of a serpent. ‘It’s not what you want any more, oh dear me, no. I’m your master now and you’ll do exactly what I want, understand?’
I swallowed and then nodded.
‘Then put on a show for Madame Addie here, pronto!’
I stepped away, trembling so that I could barely stand, but when I obediently stood on my hands, I felt steadier. Madame Adeline clapped enthusiastically at once, calling ‘Bravo!’ which encouraged me further. I cartwheeled in a circle, I capered backwards like a crab, I sprang up and did a back-flip and landed lightly the right way up, arms outstretched.
‘Oh my, she has it all off pat!’ Madame Adeline declared. ‘Bless the little sweetheart. You’re right, Beppo, she’s a natural.’
‘Wait till I’ve trained her up a little. I reckon she’ll be better than all my boys put together. My five guineas are a very sound investment, you’ll see. Right, my twinkly little Diamond, come and meet your brothers.’
‘My brothers, Mister?’ I thought for one moment that he’d purchased Matthew, Mark, Luke and baby John too – but when he led me over to a red wagon there was no sign of my own kin.
There were three young men there, stripped to the waist, wearing tight breeches. The eldest looked the strongest, with broad shoulders and arms like great hams, though his waist was small and his stomach flat as a board.
The middle one was slighter, but his wiry arms were taut with muscle too. He was in the middle of a wrestling match with his older brother, managing to shove and heave with almost as much strength.
The youngest was just a boy, only a few years older than me. He was watching his brothers upside down, standing on his hands. He pulled a face when he saw me and stuck out his tongue, waggling it rudely. I did likewise. I wasn’t frightened of silly boys, and I could do a handstand too. But then he shifted his weight until he was standing on only one hand. He waved the other at me insolently. I tried not to look impressed.
‘Boys, boys! Do you call this nonsense practising?’ said Mister, clapping his hands. ‘Pay attention now.’
The two young men stopped wrestling and the boy whipped through the air and landed lightly on his toes. All three stood to attention. It was clear Mister expected to be obeyed instantly.
‘That’s more like it,’ he said. ‘Now, I’d like to introduce you all to this little fairy here. She’s Diamond, Acrobatic Child Wonder, my new shining star.’
All three glared at me. The youngest looked positively outraged, his eyebrows wrinkled and his mouth gaped, showing his missing teeth.
‘Ain’t I your child wonder?’ he said.
‘You’re all my little wonders,’ said Mister. ‘This here’s Tag, Diamond. You’re to pay particular attention to him. He’ll learn you all his tricks. Regular little crowd-pleaser, he is.’
The youngest looked slightly appeased, but he still frowned fiercely at me.
‘And this is Julip, my middle lad,’ said Mister. ‘He flies through the air like a bird, don’t you, boy?’
‘Flipperty-flap,’ said Julip, waving his arms.
‘And this here is Marvo, my eldest. Strong as an ox, aren’t you, son? Show off your muscles to little Diamond here.’
The big lad flexed his great arms until his veins looked as if they’d burst through his taut skin. Then he stepped forward, picked me up with one vast hand and thrust me high in the air. I waggled my legs in protest and he threw me free. I landed in an undignified heap on the grass. Mister and the three boys all laughed at me. Tag actually spat contemptuously.
‘Pick me up, Marvo,’ he said.
Marvo lifted him effortlessly in one hand and then threw him too. Tag tucked himself into a tiny ball and turned two somersaults in the air before landing neatly on his feet, his arms outstretched in acknowledgement. He nodded at me triumphantly.
‘That’s it, you show her, Tag,’ said Mister. ‘Give her a quick routine, boys, so she can see what we do.’
The three all instantly straightened, shoulders back, chins in the air, stepping out like little princes, though they were still barefoot boys. Marvo stood still, muscles flexed. Julip ran up to him and flew through the air
, landing lightly with his feet on Marvo’s shoulders. Then Tag stepped on a springboard and flew upwards too, twice the height, landing on top of Julip with barely a wobble. They stood before me, a giant man made out of three boys. Then, with a grunt, Marvo took a few steps, both boys still balanced high above him before they teetered forward. Julip and Tag somersaulted through the air before landing neatly, then all three started cartwheeling in a ring, round and round. When Mister shouted a command, they all upended themselves and swooped so far back their heads poked cheekily between their legs. They capered about like misformed monsters, pulling crazy faces. Tag pretended to bite Mister on the behind, and Mister waved his fist at him – and then, astonishingly, he stood on his hands and ran at Tag upside down.
I had not realized that he was part of the act too. I figured he was about the same age as my own pa, maybe even older, yet he was now proving as spry as his sons. I’d never been so scared of anyone before, and yet now, watching him hobble about in pursuit of the boys, pulling the drollest faces, I could not help doubling up with laughter.
I still did not understand what his act was until I saw him in full costume for that afternoon’s performance. I was in the cramped quarters of the boys’ wagon, trying to hitch a hammock from post to post.
Mister suddenly thrust his head through the door, and I screamed. His face was painted a deathly white, and he had a new big bulbous nose and vast red lips that smiled in a sinister way to the very edges of his ears.
‘I am Beppo the clown!’ he said, and then he cackled with laughter.
ALL AFTERNOON I watched the circus performance. I was soon to know each routine in dreary detail, but I remember I was utterly dazzled by that first show.
I know you felt the same way too, Hetty! I loved Madame Adeline and thought her very beautiful as she rode around the ring in her pink sparkly dress. I was astonished to see Mister transformed into capering Beppo, throwing water at the other clown, Chino, and tripping over his great shoes. I laughed along with all the other children, but I squirmed in my seat too.
I was utterly transfixed by the Silver Tumblers and their acrobatic antics. Marvo, Julip and Tag looked so different in their silver costumes in the circus ring. They’d painted their faces too, shading their eyelids blue and rubbing rouge on their cheeks so that they looked robust and glowing. They’d oiled their hair so that it gleamed in the spotlight, and the sequins sewn onto their costumes dazzled the eye.
They did their handstand trick, and then many others, leaping and tumbling around the ring, shouting as they did so. I forgot that they were rude boys who larked around. They were amazing aerial beings, as magical as fairies, and I was entranced.
I clapped so hard my hands stung. I watched the monkeys and the lions, and the performing seals and the astonishingly huge elephant, marvelling at them all, but I was still seeing silver sparkles before my eyes. I stood up and cheered as all the performers paraded around the ring at the end, and then hovered uncertainly as everyone scrambled for the exit flap of the tent. Should I try to walk away too? Maybe I could find some kind lady and beg her help to get home. I knew Pa had been glad to be rid of me, but I could hide when he was around. Mary-Martha would be glad to see me – and oh, I wanted to see her so very much. She could be vexingly pious at times, but she was the only one in the world who had tender feelings for me now and I loved her dearly.
What was I waiting for? I had only to run! Beppo might be lurking somewhere close, but I was just one small girl amid hundreds. I spotted an old shawl someone had left behind on her seat. I snatched it up and wound it over my head, covering my long bright hair. Then I joined up with a whole gaggle of children – they were with a flustered old dame who couldn’t keep control of them. Several stared at me in surprise, but I just ducked my head and pressed close to them.
All I had to do was get out of the big tent and run. I didn’t know this part of town, but the field was only streets away from the big shops. I could be home in half an hour.
The crowd jostled all about me. I shut my eyes and prayed to my poor dead mother: Dear Ma, please watch over me and keep me safe, and don’t let Mister snatch me back!
I could almost feel her long hair brushing my head, her gentle hands on my shoulders. She seemed to steer me through the crowd, right out of the tent, across the grass – she was truly helping me—
‘Hey, you! Diamond, come here!’
It was Tag, a wrapper over his silver sequins, his slicked-back hair making him look like one of the performing seals. He was gesturing at me impatiently. I turned my back on him and started running. I prided myself on being speedy. Mary-Martha could never catch me, even though her legs were longer than mine, but Tag was a different proposition. He was after me in a blink. He didn’t waste time telling me to stop. He threw himself at me, wrestling me to the ground and pinioning me in my stolen shawl, nearly choking the life out of me.
I had fought with my brothers often enough, but they usually played fair with me. They’d never used their whole strength and they’d never actually hit me with their fists. Tag sat down hard on my chest, beating a tattoo on my head.
‘Get off me, you brute!’ I gasped. I tried to spit in his face but I didn’t have the strength. My spittle dribbled down my own chin.
‘Ha ha, dirty little cat,’ said Tag. ‘You come quietly now.’
‘Please let me go! You don’t want me here, so why are you keeping me?’ I said, struggling.
‘Of course we don’t want you, you useless baby – but Beppo does,’ said Tag. ‘He’s the boss.’
‘He’s not my boss! He’s not my pa!’ I said.
‘He’s not mine either,’ said Tag.
‘But he said you were his boys.’
‘Marvo and Julip – not me. Beppo got me even younger than you and trained me up,’ said Tag. He didn’t let me go, but at least he’d stopped hitting me now.
‘Did your pa sell you too?’ I whispered.
‘Didn’t have no pa. No ma neither,’ said Tag.
‘But you must have had them once. Did they both die? My poor ma died,’ I said, suddenly welling up with tears.
‘Crying, eh? Baby!’ said Tag. ‘No, there was just me. I lived with some other boys, but I didn’t like it and I ran away. And then Beppo got hold of me.’
‘I’m not crying because of you – but get off my chest, I can’t breathe,’ I gasped.
He did roll off me then. I sat up, knuckling my eyes.
‘You could run away from Beppo too. We both could,’ I said.
‘I did at first. And he caught me and beat me until I couldn’t stand up. He’ll do the same to you – and he’ll wallop me too for not looking out for you, so think on, Diamond.’
‘I’m not called Diamond. It’s just his silly name for me,’ I said. ‘I’m Ellen-Jane.’
‘Not any more, you’re not. You’re everything that Beppo says. Now come on, or we won’t get any grub between shows.’ He took hold of my hand and yanked me to my feet.
I might still have run, but I knew he’d catch me. I didn’t think then that Mister would really give us a beating – not me – but I certainly didn’t want to make him angry. And I was hungry. Very hungry.
I let Tag pull me along to the big blue wagon beside the boys’ ramshackle home. Marvo was squatting on the ground stirring a big cauldron over a fire. Julip was tearing chunks of bread off a loaf. Mister himself was sitting on the steps, a robe over his under vest and trousers. He’d taken off his great clown’s shoes, displaying very holey striped socks, but he was still wearing full greasepaint, and a little bowler hat on the back of a mad grey wig. He should have looked ridiculous but there was nothing comical about his suspicious glare.
‘Where have you two been? She didn’t try to do a runner, did she?’ he said.
I held my breath.
‘No, boss!’ said Tag. ‘She just tumbled over a guy rope, that’s all.’
‘Tumbled, did you, little fairy?’ said Mister. ‘Oh, we’ll teach you tumbling
soon enough.’
‘You’ll never teach that one, Beppo. She’s not got the pluck,’ said Tag.
‘She’ll learn. I’ll just throw her up in the air and hope for the best. Once she’s landed with a crack on that pretty little head often enough, she’ll get the knack of tucking herself up tight,’ said Marvo.
I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not. I sat some distance away from him when Mister served the meal, just in case. It smelled good, very good indeed, a thick dark savoury stew with dumplings and large pieces of meat. I had been living on bread and scraps of cheese and bruised fruit. My mouth started watering.
Mister served me up a whole bowlful. There were no forks or spoons. I had to scoop it up with my bread. Mister and the boys slurped their stew straight out of the steaming bowl.
It tasted astonishingly good, strong and succulent, the meat so tender it scarcely needed chewing. I ate ravenously, sucking each chunk to the bone.
‘That’s it! Eat up, little fairy,’ said Mister.
‘It’s very good meat,’ I said. ‘Is it beef, I wonder – or lamb?’ I had rarely tasted either but I did not want them to think me ignorant.
They all guffawed with laughter.
‘Haven’t you ever had horsemeat before?’ asked Marvo.
He had to be joking this time. I looked over the fields to where Madame Adeline’s beautiful Midnight was tethered.
‘It’s not truly horse, is it?’ I quavered, my mouth still full.
‘No, it’s succulent little pony,’ said Beppo, and he gave a high-pitched horse’s neigh.
I choked on my mouthful and had to spit it out. This made them all laugh uproariously.
‘Don’t you want your gee-gee then?’ said Tag. ‘Give it here. I’ll soon polish it off.’
I was still hungry but I couldn’t eat any more. I let Tag have my bowl and turned my back on them all so I wouldn’t see them chewing away at the meat. Madame Adeline was sitting on her own wagon steps, eating her own meal. She beckoned me over when she saw me watching her.