‘I hope they do look at her instead of me,’ said Julip. He had nearly slipped again that night, and Beppo had hit him savagely afterwards.
I lay trembling in my hammock, wondering if Mister would beat me too.
The next morning Beppo left the three boys training in the ring and took me to see Madame Adeline. She was still in her rose-patterned wrapper, brushing Midnight until his skin shone glossy black.
‘Can you give us a helping hand, Addie? I’m putting the little fairy here into the ring today. She can wear Tag’s old silver leotard, but I’d like to pretty it up a bit – make her look like a real little fairy. You don’t have any frills you can lend her, do you? And maybe a ribbon for her hair.’ Mister ran his hand through my bedraggled curls. ‘It’s not as fluffy as it was,’ he said, pulling my hair.
‘It looks as if she could do with a good wash,’ said Madame Adeline. ‘Leave her with me, Beppo.’
I hadn’t washed since the day Beppo snatched me from the market. The boys never bothered much, just ducked under the communal tap and then shook themselves dry like dogs. But Madame Adeline filled a big bucketful, then heated it up over her fire and poured some of the hot water into a big shallow tin tray.
‘There now, paddle your feet,’ she said, swiftly undressing me. ‘Let’s give you a good soaping.’
Mary-Martha always used carbolic on me, but Madame Adeline had wonderful verbena soap. I loved the smell so much, I didn’t even mind when it made my eyes sting. She rubbed another fragrant potion on my head, piling my hair up and rubbing with her fingertips until I was all over froth.
‘This stuff is beautiful!’ I said rapturously.
‘It’s my very special Ladies’ Rainbow Shampoo, dearie. Look!’ Madame Adeline rubbed the foam between her thumb and forefinger, and then opened them slowly so that a web formed. She blew gently.
‘Oh, rainbow bubbles!’ I said.
‘You do one now . . .’ She let me play, entranced, for a full five minutes.
‘You’ll have to ask Beppo for one of his old pipes. You’ll be able to blow enormous bubbles,’ she said. ‘Come now, you’re starting to shiver. Let me sluice all the soap off you.’
‘I wouldn’t dare ask Mister for anything. He’s far too fierce,’ I said.
‘Oh dear. He seems very taken with you, so I’d hoped he’d be kind, especially as you’re so young. He hasn’t hit you, has he?’
‘No, but he hits the boys lots, especially Julip.’
‘Poor Julip. He’s struggling. He’s skilled enough – Beppo is a good trainer, but Julip’s heart isn’t in it. It’s a very hard life for a young man. It’s a hard life for all of us.’ She shook her head forlornly, suddenly looking like an old, old lady. She hadn’t put on her face paint yet, and she had somehow tucked all her beautiful long red hair into a strange velvet turban.
‘Are you sad, Madame Adeline?’ I asked.
She made her mouth turn up into a big smile. ‘No, I’m very happy, because I have a dear little new friend to keep me company,’ she said. ‘Is that all the soap gone? There’s a few suds left in your hair. Let me give you one more rinse. Close your eyes!’
‘They’re tight shut,’ I said. ‘Madame Adeline – do you mean . . . me? Am I your new friend?’
‘Of course I mean you, Diamond,’ she said, wrapping a big soft towel around me, and then pulling me closer and hugging me.
‘Oh, I love to be hugged!’ I said. ‘Sometimes Ma would hold me on her lap and it was the best feeling in the world.’
‘How your mother must have loved you, dearie,’ said Madame Adeline.
‘I don’t think she did – not very much, anyway,’ I said. ‘She loved the boys more than me – and Mary-Martha was the useful one. I was just a nuisance. I used to be Pa’s favourite, but then, after Ma died, he started to hate me.’
‘Oh, what a sad story! Well, listen to me, Diamond. If you’d been my little girl, I might have loved your brothers and your sister, but I’m certain you would have been my favourite. Now, are you dry, dear one? We’ll find you some new clothes to wear in the ring, and I’ll give your old clothes a good scrub too.’
She sat me on the velvet chair in her wagon, popped a violet chocolate in my mouth and told me to towel my hair while she did a little sewing. I was astonished to see that her own hair wasn’t under her turban at all. It was hanging on a stand on her dressing table, the long flaming locks reaching down almost to the floor.
Madame Adeline saw me staring and raised her eyebrows ruefully. ‘I’m not quite the natural beauty people think any more,’ she said.
‘I think you’re naturally beautiful with your hair or without it,’ I said stoutly.
‘Bless you, child! I shall store your words up in my head and treasure them. I don’t get many compliments nowadays.’
‘Don’t you have any gentlemen come calling, Madame Adeline?’
‘No, dear, not any more, but I don’t mind that in the slightest. I’ve seen enough gentlemen to last me a lifetime.’ As she spoke, she rummaged through the lowest dressing-table drawer, bringing out a tangle of bright ribbons and embroidered scarves and lacy undergarments. ‘Now then, shall we see if we can turn you into a real fairy?’ she said.
She snipped the lace off a torn chemise and started sewing it around the neck of Tag’s leotard. She bunched some sparkly net around my waist, fashioning a little skirt. Then she found some wire, bent it into a strange shape, and set me wrapping it round and round with silver satin ribbon.
‘What is the wire for?’ I asked.
‘What do all fairies have?’ said Madame Adeline.
‘Wings!’
‘Exactly. I have some white muslin. We will stretch it over the wire – and you can have a little fairy wand too, with a silver star on the end.’
We worked peacefully together making my costume. Then Madame Adeline had me sit in front of her while she brushed my damp hair. I wriggled delightedly at each firm stroke of the brush, trying to count along with her, but getting muddled after a while. I knew how to count up my pennies, but I’d never needed to know large amounts. Madame Adeline asked me to toss my hair forward over my eyes so she could sort out all the tangles. I wasn’t used to my hair being so soft and silky. Sunlight poured in through the open wagon door and made little coloured lights gleam in it. It truly was rainbow shampoo.
Madame Adeline wound my front curls round her fingers until they sprang into place, framing my face, and then she opened a beautiful carved jewellery box and brought out . . .
‘A crown!’ I gasped, staring at the wonderful sparkling gems. ‘A diamond crown!’
‘No, dear, a tiara – and these stones are only glass. But it looks pretty in the ring and the diamonds catch the light. Perfect for little Diamond, the Acrobatic Child Wonder!’
‘You truly don’t mind my wearing your beautiful tiara?’
‘You will look a picture and do us all proud,’ said Madame Adeline. ‘Come, let us put on your costume.’
I stepped into the sparkly leotard, now with gauzy little wings flapping at the back.
‘Turn around, little fairy. Act as if you’re in the spotlight,’ she told me.
I pivoted around on one foot, pointing the other, my arms raised.
Madame Adeline laughed and clapped me enthusiastically. ‘Bravo! Oh, wait till Beppo sees you. He will be delighted,’ she said. ‘Let us show you off to him.’
I hung back. ‘I don’t want to. I don’t like him. I’d much sooner be with you. Oh, Madame Adeline, can’t I be your little wonder?’
‘I would like that very much, my dear – but Beppo wouldn’t. I’m afraid he is your master now, whether you like it or not. It’s the first rule of the circus. You must never steal another artiste’s act.’
She took me by the hand and led me to the big top, where Beppo and Chino were working on a new clowning routine with a big penny-farthing bicycle.
‘Look at your little protégée now, Beppo,’ said Madame Adeline, giving me a gen
tle push forward.
He took one look at me, wobbled precariously, and then fell right off the tall bicycle. I thought he’d be cross with me in consequence, but his face was all smiles – even his steely eyes softened. He brought his two hands together, almost as if he were praying.
‘Perfect!’ he breathed. ‘Oh, Addie, you’ve excelled yourself! It looks like I’ve got my five guineas worth. My, that old fool should have asked me for ten.’ He turned me round and round, getting me to put my head to one side and point each toe in turn. ‘Oh, you’re a picture, my little fairy girl,’ he said. He took my wand and waved it over me. ‘You will be the star of the show and make old Beppo’s wishes come true!’
I STOOD BEHIND the tent flaps in a long line of artistes waiting to go into the ring. The ringmaster, Mr Tanglefield, was announcing the acts, his voice reedy and distorted as he was speaking through a megaphone. I was almost as scared of Mr Tanglefield as I was of Beppo. He was just as small and mean, and he went everywhere with a whip clamped in his hand. I’d seen him flick it at man and beast indiscriminately. I was always very careful to keep my distance. Now, I could hear the audience laughing and talking through his announcements, barely paying attention, for he sounded such a silly old man. Then the band struck up.
Mister pointed his finger at me to stay in my place with Marvo, Julip and Tag, and then pushed his way through the tent flaps with Chino, both of them waddling in their oversized clown shoes. A shriek of laughter rippled around the ring at their capers.
‘Good audience tonight, by the sound of it,’ said Sherzam, the elephant keeper. He was a small, slender man, strangely dark, with big brown eyes with long lashes. He smiled at me encouragingly.
‘Good or bad, they’ll always laugh their silly heads off at the clowns,’ said Flora, the tightrope walker. She was a very large lady – by far the fattest member of Tanglefield’s Travelling Circus apart from Elijah the elephant. The other acts often teased her. I’d heard Tag ask her why she didn’t leave the circus and earn her living as Flora the Fat Lady in a fair, but she just cuffed him in a casual way, not bothering to take offence.
‘Looking forward to your debut, Diamond?’ she asked, stroking my hair admiringly. ‘My, you look quite dazzling.’
Tag groaned, and staggered backwards, covering his eyes with his hands, pretending to be dazzled.
‘Silly boy,’ said Flora. ‘How are you doing, dearie? Addie asked me to keep a special eye on you.’
Madame Adeline herself didn’t come on until almost the end of the show, so she wasn’t standing in the line-up yet.
‘I’m very nervous,’ I whispered.
‘That’s a sign of a true artiste. I’ve been doing my act for many years now—’
‘Hundreds and hundreds of years,’ Tag muttered rudely.
‘And always at this moment my stomach churns and I quake with fear.’ Flora clutched herself and shivered dramatically. ‘But when I climb my little rope ladder it’s as if I am entering another world entirely. I forget all those people gawping up at me, wondering if I’m going to slip and fall. I even forget the rude boys pointing and poking fun at me.’ She shook her head at Tag. ‘Up on my tightrope, my hands don’t tremble, my feet are sure and certain in their satin slippers, and I walk, I skip, I dance along my wire. I am Queen of my own airy world.’
‘But you are talented, Miss Flora. I can’t really do anything yet,’ I sighed.
‘I’ll say,’ said Tag. ‘You can’t even do a forward somersault. I could do that years and years ago. You’re useless.’
‘She’ll learn soon enough,’ said Marvo. ‘Don’t be so hard on her, Tag.’
‘If she’d had any sense she’d scarper now, while she can,’ Julip muttered.
He was wearing greasepaint on his face but I could see the sweat standing out on his forehead. I took his hand. It was as cold and clammy as a dead fish.
‘What’s the matter, Julip?’ I asked.
He shook his head and pulled his hand away.
‘Leave him be,’ said Flora. ‘He is just having a little nervous crisis, like me.’
‘He’s in a funk because he keeps slipping,’ said Tag. ‘He’s useless.’
Julip was too miserable to respond, but Marvo seized Tag and turned him upside down.
‘So Diamond’s useless – and Julip too, Mr Taggle? What about me? Am I useless?’ said Marvo, shaking him.
‘Don’t! Let me up!’ Tag said indignantly, struggling.
Then Mr Tanglefield came rushing through the tent flaps to seize hold of Elijah for his grand appearance. We all saw Beppo for a moment, capering in a corner of the ring, his head turned towards us. It was enough to make Marvo set Tag on his feet and Julip stand to attention.
‘No fooling while you’re waiting to go on,’ Mr Tanglefield muttered, taking hold of Elijah’s chain from Sherzam. I pressed backwards nervously as the great elephant plodded wearily through the tent flaps, his wrinkled skin sagging off his huge bones. His trunk was swinging so that it brushed my bare arm. I craned upwards and saw the tiny eyes embedded in his vast head. He didn’t look as if he enjoyed performing either.
Flora went on next. I peeped round the tent flap till I could see her dancing along the tightrope, waving her pink parasol, even pushing a perambulator, clearly enjoying herself. I hoped with all my might that I would enjoy performing too when I was actually out there in the ring. I’d quite liked doing my little tricks to earn money in the marketplace – but I hadn’t had Mister lurking, ready to find fault.
Flora gave a last twirl and then clambered down her rope ladder. She spread her arms when she was back on firm ground, turning to acknowledge the cheering crowd, her face flushed with triumph.
Marvo took a deep breath. ‘Right, my friends.’ He clapped Julip on the back. ‘You’ll be fine,’ he said. He chucked Tag under his chin. ‘You too, Tag.’ Then he gently pulled a lock of my hair. ‘And you’ll knock ’em dead, Diamond, just you wait and see.’
Then Flora came through the tent flaps all aglow. Beppo seized hold of me and murmured, ‘Dance, little fairy!’ and gave me a push right out into the ring.
I stood blinking in the bright spotlight, breathing in the strange smells of sawdust and animals and saveloys and oranges and gingerbread, in such a daze that the circle of crowded seats whirled round and round and I felt so dizzy I didn’t dare move. I saw the sparkle as the silver costumes of my three new brothers caught the light, and then Marvo’s hand was in mine, pulling me along so that I had to run with all three of them around the ring. I was only running – and yet a great murmur started. ‘Oh my, look at the little one!’ ‘She’s so tiny! What will she be, four? Five at the most? The little darling!’ ‘She’s just a baby, bless her – and doesn’t she look gorgeous: good enough to eat!’
Marvo started his routine, flexing his muscles and leaping about, doing cartwheels, flic-flacs, forward somersaults, every movement neat and precise. Then Julip began, and I felt my mouth go dry, but his routine was faultless too. Some of the girls in the audience squealed excitedly, appreciating his dark good looks. Tag’s display was faster and wilder. He didn’t always land as cleanly and the lines of his body weren’t always perfect, but he had so much wild energy that people cheered.
Then it was my turn. I pointed my toes and twirled this way and that, and then tried a couple of cartwheels. It was the easiest exercise ever, yet everyone gawped and clapped as if I’d done something splendid. I bobbed a little curtsy to the audience, which made them laugh, and then continued my baby routine: my handstands, my crab-walk, my backward somersaults – thankfully each one perfect.
It was time for the silver boys to start serious tumbling, using the springboard, so that first Julip and then Tag spiralled through the air. I pointed and exclaimed and applauded enthusiastically, just as Mister had instructed. The audience lapped up my emphatic performance. I was so relieved when Julip landed with utter precision on Marvo’s broad shoulders, and then stayed still and steady in turn after Tag spira
lled upwards and landed on him that I clapped wildly – and the audience clapped with me.
The four of us stood in a line, arms out, and then we ran out into the wings, waving goodbye to everyone. Mister was standing by, smiling.
‘There! I knew they’d love you, little fairy five guineas,’ he said, before he had to caper on with Chino to distract everyone while the lion cages were assembled.
‘Well done, little one!’ said all the circus artistes waiting in the queue. Even the performing monkeys chattered and clapped their tiny paws at me. Madame Adeline was waiting at the end, glorious in her pink spangles and fleshings, with her glossy black Midnight.
‘My little star!’ she said, giving me a big hug, so that I breathed in her wonderful perfume.
I truly felt a star – happier than I had ever been in my life. I danced across the grass, throwing my hands up as if the audience were still surrounding me. Then someone pushed me violently in the back. I stumbled and very nearly fell.
‘You hateful little show-off!’ said Tag, punching me. ‘You stole the whole act with your mincing and your prancing! They weren’t even looking at us half the time.’
‘I – I had to point and dance. Beppo told me to!’ I stammered.
‘You didn’t have to do it so much. It was sickening,’ said Tag. ‘Tossing your head and fluffing your stupid hair!’ He yanked at it so hard that my precious borrowed tiara was knocked sideways.
‘Leave her be, Tag! Stop acting like a jealous little fool. Take no notice, Diamond. You did splendidly,’ said Marvo, gently setting my tiara straight.
‘So splendidly she can take over from me soon,’ said Julip.
‘She’ll never be a real part of the act. She just does pathetic baby tumbles – and yet she steals all our applause,’ said Tag.
‘I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! I was just trying to do my best,’ I said, and struggle as I might I couldn’t stop the tears spilling down my cheeks.
‘Now look what you’ve done, Tag. Shame on you,’ said Marvo, picking me up effortlessly and patting me on the back.