Chapter 14: Weekend 16th & 17th May.
Saturday 16th.
The alarm clicked on at 7 am like every other morning, but today there was no need to get up early.
I leaned across silencing it - exposing myself to the rising sun and Suzy who appeared at her window.
While Tracey gave out a long moan and snuggled into my side I took a long look at Suzy, as she leaned on her bare arms on the windowcill as before.
While she gazed at our naked bodies I tried to fathom why she fascinated me.
“She’s not doing anybody any harm” I thought, “Still I shouldn’t encourage her.”
As I covered us with our duvet I thought “She has seen me in all my naked glory while all I have seen of her were her head and shoulders - which struck me as being highly indecent and grossly unfair.”
Something about Suzy convinced me that she was not another ‘peeper’. I couldn’t see any lust, passion, envy, jealousy, anger or happiness on her face - just a strange sadness intriguing me as I waved to her to go away and, surprisingly, she nodded and disappeared.
I pulled Tracey to me kissing her awake while she let out a quiet moan as she opened her eyes and smiled. I ushered her towards the shower as we had a busy day ahead of us and I looked towards Suzy’s window, however, she did not reappear.
While I showered and Tracey dressed I thought about Suzy’s sad eyes and wondered if I should contact her to see if I could maybe help cheer her up, although my conscience kept telling me not to get involved.
“You’ve got more than enough crazy people in your life with plenty of problems without adding any more” my brain kept telling me and I figured that it was, probably, correct.
We reached the breakfast table at around eight thirty and while we ate our Cornflakes we made lists of who to invite, unfortunately, we soon realised that the entire list apart from our fathers and my two brothers were all female.
Laughing at the possibility of just arranging a ‘lady’s night’ Rachel slowly shuffled in with her eyes closed, wearing a large white cotton tee shirt.
Every curve showed through the material as she shuffled into the kitchen for a bowl then she sank into her seat, where she fell heavily onto her bare arms.
Tracey and I smiled amused by Rachel’s performance - she obviously had not seen us as Tracey whispered “Good morning.”
Rachel lifted her head slightly guiding her face towards where the whisper had come from and opened one bleary eye.
Soon both eyes opened wide as she tried to cover her huge chest with her arms. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here,” I assured her.
“I’m sorry,” she apologised sincerely,
“If I’d known you were up I’d have put some clothes on.”
Tracey laughed saying “That’s okay Rachel - you have not got anything I haven’t got.”
“Rachel’s just got more of it.” I laughed as Tracey slapped my arm and I apologised, “Sorry Rachel I couldn’t resist.”
Rachel looked up saying “What are you doing up so early on a Saturday?” she looked shocked as she sought alternative ways to say it “I mean….”
“That’s okay Rachel we know exactly what you mean.” I laughed,
“It’s unusual to find us on our feet on a Saturday.”
Rachel looked embarrassed as she quickly moved her hands to her face then back to her chest.
Grabbing the cereal packet she held it to her chest while her other hand covered her mouth.
Tracey pointed a menacing finger at me warning me
“You stop it, you’re embarrassing her.”
I apologised then turning to Rachel I explained.
“We have a lot of wedding plans to sort out, and on the subject, are you and ‘Diamonds’ free for a gig on 26th September?”
With the hand that was covering her mouth Rachel moved her bowl to the edge of the table and poured some Cornflakes into it without removing the cereal box from her chest.
“As you have probably noticed I don’t have my diary about me at the moment.
I’ll let you know.” Thinking about the date she asked “September, you don’t give much notice do you?”
She asked Tracey “You’re not pregnant are you?”
“No, I’m not pregnant” Tracey shouted back.
“Why does everyone keep asking me if I’m pregnant?”
“Who’s pregnant?” Marcie asked entering at that moment, wearing her nurse’s uniform.
“Nobody is pregnant,” Tracey shouted as Marcie entered with a bowl laughing as she took her usual seat opposite me - noticing Rachel still clinging to the cereal packet.
“If nobody’s pregnant it’ll be a waste of time going into work today, but, as I must make an appearance - Rachel, if you’ve finished making love to that packet can I have a shot of it.”
Marcie smiled as Rachel reluctantly handed over the cereal box looking at me as she covered her protruding nipples with an arm.
Marcie prepared her breakfast and as she raised her spoon to her mouth she looked at me, stopped, looked at the watch just above her left breast and asked. “Have you two fallen out?”
We both laughed as we remembered Debbie’s embarrassment last Sunday when she asked us the same question.
“Are you doing anything on September 26th?” I asked her.
“That would depend what’s on?” Marcie asked.
“A wedding.” Rachel answered.
Marcie laughed, “Just try and keep me away.”
Tracey smiled and raising her arm she leaned towards Marcie and Rachel asking “On the subject of our wedding, I’m a bridesmaid short, if I asked Debbie do you reckon she could handle it?”
Marcie placing her hand over Tracey’s patted it saying,
“I’m sure it would make her the happiest girl in the world.”
Rachel’s arm left her chest and joined Marcie’s as I got up and left the room saying “this is all too much for me, I’ll leave you girls to it.”
I picked up the telephone in the hall and dialled my parent’s number in Glasgow.
“Hello.” My sister answered.
“Hello Louise, how are you doing?” I asked cheerily.
“Hello stranger, I’m fine. You’re not phoning to tell us that you’re coming back are you?”
“No” I laughed, “I’m phoning to ask if you’re doing anything on 26th September?”
“Apart from having a birthday, I’ve nothing special planned.
What have you got in mind?”
“How about a wedding?” I asked.
There was a silence for a second and then she asked,
“Can I be a bridesmaid?”
“I don’t know” I answered, “You’ll need to ask the bride.”
“Okay I will.” I heard her tell someone the news.
“Brian says he’s getting married on my birthday.”
“I hope you’re talking about September - next year?” Mum roared.
“Actually, it’s September this year.”
“But,” she shouted, “that’s only a couple of months away, you’ll never get everything organised by then. Is Tracey pregnant?”
I laughed. “That’s what everyone is asking her - she assures me she’s not. We just think we’ve waited long enough.”
At that moment Rachel emerged from the living room and shuffled to her room as my mother gave me a list of things to organise.
“There’s the church? The Cars? Invitations? Reception? Dresses? …”
Rachel smiled a broad smile as she passed me, without attempting to hide her curves as her chest vibrated under the skimpy material.
She opened her room door, took a large diary from her handbag and leafed through it, while I surveyed every inch of her fantastic body.
“September 26th is fine, but I’ll have to confirm it with the others first.” She smiled a huge smile as she closed her door to me as I smiled “Thanks, Rachel.”
My mother, realising I was
not paying any attention to her list, suddenly went very quiet and then asked. “Who is Rachel’?” I laughed again,
“It’s a long story mum.
We will call round later to discuss the finer details, but at the moment I have to get back to mission control.
All systems are ‘go’ for 26th September.”
“Okay, I suppose so,” Mum conceded, “We’ll see you later then.”
We said our goodbyes and I made my way to the Living room as Marcie hurriedly donned her coat and ran out the front door shouting “Bye” as she slammed it.
I rejoined Tracey at the table among various leaves of paper from her notebook. I leaned over kissing her until the door ‘clicked’ behind me and Debbie entered wearing jeans and a tee shirt.
She said “Good morning’’, as she entered the kitchen for a bowl and then sat in her usual chair at the table saying, “I’m not going to ask.”
Tracey and I smiled at one another as I quietly asked her.
“Should we not confirm it with Saint Simon’s ASAP?”
“Yes.” Tracey confirmed lifting a piece of paper with Saint Simons at the top.
“That’s our first port of call today.”
Lifting another sheet she read out a few titles and said.
‘‘Okay! We will need a best man.”
“I’ll take care of that.” I assured her.
“Bridesmaids,” Tracey smiled,
“I’ve got Aileen, Louise and Michelle, but I’m one short.
Now who can we ask to be bridesmaid number four?”
“Do you really need four bridesmaids?” I teased her as she kicked me under the table and turning towards Debbie, who sat trying to ignore us while reading a magazine, she asked quietly.
“Debbie, are you doing anything on the 26th of September?”
Debbie raised her head deep in thought. “I don’t know what I’ll be doing then.
So many places to go, people to see, things to do, I have such a hectic social life.”
“Debbie,” Tracey smiled asking quietly,
“Would you like to be a bridesmaid at our wedding?”
Debbie’s eyes lit up as she turned open-mouthed beaming at Tracey.
“Do you really mean it?” she gasped.
“I really mean it.” Tracey smiled back.
“I’d love to.” Debbie gasped almost in tears as she hugged Tracey tightly, and then she ran to hug me with tears in her eyes.
“Remember I told you the other night, best friends don’t make each other cry.”
“I’m so happy,” she sobbed, “thanks Brian.”
She broke away from me and hugged Tracey again saying “thanks Tracey” then as she skipped out the door she cried, “I must go tell Rachel.”
Watching her until she left Tracey turned to me and asked.
“What was all that about best friends?’’
“I’m her best friend,” I answered smugly.
“Oh are you now?” She smiled, “and what does that make me?”
“That makes you my fiancée unless we waste any more time here instead of going to see Saint Simon, when hopefully he’ll make you my wife.”
We kissed again as Tracey picked up her various papers and we also left.
As I held my car door open for her, we kissed again and over her shoulder I noticed Suzy sitting on the steps of her flats across the road, with her head resting heavily on her knees.
In her right hand a cigarette smouldered between her fingers and her left hand clutched a half-empty bottle of vodka.
My heart sank to see her so destitute, so just before I closed the car door I sighed to Tracey, “Excuse me, I’ll be back in a minute.”
I crossed the road to stand before Suzy.
All around her discarded cigarette ends littered the steps, she had obviously been sitting there for quite a while and I felt strangely worried for her as I quietly asked, “Are you okay?”
She raised her heavy head from her knees and tried to focus her bloodshot, tired eyes on me and quietly answered,
“I’ll be fine. Oh, it’s you.
I’m really sorry for looking at you. I didn’t mean to annoy you and your girlfriend.”
“It’s okay, you weren’t annoying me.” I assured her,
“You can watch me any time you like, but please don’t do anything silly, will you?”
She could sense deep concern in my voice, so she smiled and promised that she wouldn’t do anything ‘silly’ as we said goodbye.
As I started my car Tracey asked “And who the hell is she?”
I looked across as Suzy’s head plopped down onto her knees again and quietly answered “I don’t know who she is, that’s the first time I’ve spoken to her, but I’ve seen her around, she always looks like she’s lost. I just asked her if she was alright, that’s all.”
Tracey sighed as I put my car into gear heading for Glasgow.
“Don’t get involved, Brian” she implored me, “that big heart of yours is going to get you into trouble one of these days. Don’t get involved!”
I sighed and quietly stated, “I can’t help it.
I cannot stand back and watch somebody screw up their lives without, at least, trying to help.
I sometimes wish I couldn’t give a damn what happens to them, but I do care - even for total strangers like Suzy.”
“And how the hell do you know her name’s Suzy?” she shouted angrily.
“Will you calm down,” I ordered, “I don’t know her name at all - I just think she looks like a Suzy.”
Tracey took a deep breath to calm down.
“I won’t say what I think she looks like, but promise me that you’ll not get involved with Suzy or whatever her name is.”
“I promise” just as a police car, containing PC Kelly, noisily whizzed past us heading for the Forth Road Bridge.
We turned onto the M8 and sat in relative silence until we reached Saint Simon’s church.
“By the way.” I asked her as we left the car in the car park while the Saturday morning worshipers emerged into the sunlight,
“Where did you get 26th September from?”
“I hope you don’t mind,” she answered,
“I was speaking with Father Brennan Thursday night and I asked him what dates he had free and somehow that date appealed to me” she added hesitantly “If it’s too soon he’s got plenty more.”
Swinging her around taking her in my arms I whispered, “September’s not soon enough” we kissed tenderly. “I can see why everyone thinks you’re pregnant - you’re as impatient as I am.”
“I’m not pregnant,” she said obviously very annoyed at constantly being asked.
“Tracey,” I assured her, “if you were I’d be the happiest guy alive.”
We noticed a few people standing close to us, we suspected might hear our conversation so braking away from me we entered the church hand in hand.
Walking up the aisle as the last worshippers were leaving, halfway to the altar she stopped. “Brian, can I tell you a secret?”
I wrapped my arms around her and smiled,
“You said last night we shouldn’t have any secrets.”
She smiled, as she made sure we were completely alone then said,
“God knows why I’m not pregnant, because I’m not taking anything.”
I was surprised as Tracey broke away from me and sat down in the nearest pew.
“I would dearly love to be pregnant.
My periods are very light and don’t last very long and I don’t get the same discomfort as other girls do which worried me encase I was barren.
I had a quiet word with Mum and she told me that she was exactly the same and figured that is why she didn’t conceive me until very late in life.”
“Oh.” I said softly sitting next to her putting my arm around her shoulder.
“Anyway” she continued, “I went with Mum to see the doctor a few years ago and after he did all the tests he said that there was not
hing wrong with me, it would just take time.”
“I would dearly love my Mum and Dad to see a grandchild before it’s too late. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now.”
I could see her eyes begin to well up with tears as she confessed.
”That’s why I get annoyed when everyone asks me if I’m pregnant.
I would love to be pregnant.
I want to have your child, but as hard as we try I just have not conceived and it is making me more depressed as my Mum grows weaker. Do you understand?”
She startled to sob quietly, so I hugged her to me whispering
“I’d love you to have my child, maybe one day soon - I hope.
We just have to try harder that’s all.” I kissed her cheek.
“Brilliant,” she whispered, “I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner but I was afraid that if you thought I couldn’t have a baby then you would turn to someone who could.”
Holding her at arms length surprised I asked annoyed.
“You honestly think that I would do that?”
“No, honestly,” she cried, “but I couldn’t take the risk.”
Hugging her again I said “The sooner we can get this over with, the sooner we can get back to the far east for some serious practice.”
She kissed my cheek whispering, “Thanks Brian, I love you,” as Father Brennan appeared at the altar noisily clearing things away in readiness for the evening service.
We walked hand in hand to the foot of the altar steps until Father Brennan saw us and came to greet Tracey with open arms,
“Tracey,” he called as he hugged her, “and you must be Brian?” Extending his hand for me to shake,
“We haven’t seen you here before, have we?”
“Actually sir,” I replied, “I’ve been here quite a few times over the years with Tracey.”
“I’m from Saint Joseph’s parish - or at least I was until a few months ago when I moved to Edinburgh.”
The priest’s eyes widened as he said “And that’s why we haven’t seen Tracey these past few months - I thought you’d fallen out with us.”
Tracey laughed saying “No chance of that, Father.”
“So,” he continued, “Do we have a date?” Rubbing his hands together.
Tracey put her arm around me as I smiled, “The 26th September would do nicely Sir.”
“If it’s still free, Father?” Tracey asked.
Father Brennan’s eyes sparkled with delight as he clasped his hands to his chest saying “Fantastic. Let’s just go see. Follow me.”
Father Brennan turned and walked ahead of us up the altar steps.
He genuflected slowly, at the altar and made for a door in the wall to the right of it.
We both knelt momentarily at the same spot and followed him out the door to where he stood leafing through an enormous diary.
“September twenty-sixth?’’ he mumbled as he reached the appropriate page, “Okay you’re on at, say, 3 p.m.
Would that be okay?” We nodded together.
“Okay,” he continued, “It’s a date”
Lifting a pen he mumbled as he wrote Marriage of Tracey Catherine Collins of this parish and Brian - what’s your full name?”
I told him as he wrote “of Saint Joseph’s parish.”
“Okay,” he sighed as he consulted a calendar and mumbled for a second or two and then said “Sixth, Thirteenth, Twentieth for the banns.”
Leafing through the diary again he wrote on the page for each of the three dates “Banns for 26th September,” then he closed it with a thud and repeated, “Okay, we have a date.
No, don’t thank me yet.”
“Firstly do you two know of any lawful impediment why you should not be joined in holy matrimony? “ No sir” I answered as Tracey said, “No, Father.”
“Okay” he smiled, “I figured you’d say that.
In the past twenty years I’ve asked hundreds of couples that question and very few say yes.” We all laughed.
“Secondly,” he continued, “I presume you realise what matrimony is all about and that you’ve thought for a long time about what it means?”
“We have talked about little else these past few months,” I answered as Tracey followed with “We have, Father.”
“Okay,” he beamed, “We’ll be in touch with any details we and the law require and we’ll arrange a few rehearsals if you wish.
Now, if by the sixth of September you decide not to proceed - God forbid - Can you let me know before we read the banns, okay?”
He made us a cup of tea and spoke for about an hour on some of his most memorable weddings while asking us a multitude of questions such as “How long had we known each other? What we worked as and what our plans were for the future?”
He was asking us how big a wedding we would need when the phone rang he answered it saying, “Okay, I’m on my way.”
He replaced the receiver picking up a few items, such as a bible and rosary; he announced “Just one of our more unpleasant duties, last rites, if you’ll excuse me?
If you have any problems or any queries at all you know where to find me, okay?”
“Okay” we said in unison as he hurriedly left us to walk slowly out the way we had come in, remembering to kneel at the altar, and then we set off to tell Tracey’s parents our good news.
We found Tracey’s father tending to his garden as we arrived.
Tracey ran to hug him and informed him “Father Brennan will marry us on the twenty-sixth of September.”
He looked startled and said “So soon? You had better go tell your mother, she is up to her eyes in preparations in there.
I only came out here to get away from the constant questions - Do you think they will like this? Do you think they’ll like that?”
“Thanks daddy, I love you.” Tracey smiled offering me her hand to lead me inside the house.
“Oh no,” I laughed, “If your Dad can’t stand the pace then I’m not going to take it either.
I’ll be quite happy out here dear.” I motioned to her that I wanted a quiet word with her father, so she winked and hurriedly left us alone to gaze at his multicoloured flowerbed.
“Sir, can I ask you something?”
“I must ask you something first, son? He interrupted,
“Is she pregnant?”
“No sir, she’s not,” I answered.
Her father sighed with a mixture of relief and disappointment.
I continued, “And she’s getting really annoyed at constantly being asked if she is.”
He looked up from his flowers and sighed “I’m sorry, son.”
I looked him in the eye and sighed, “I’m sorry too, sir - that she’s not - and that’s what I’d like to talk to you about.”
“Tracey and I don’t have any secrets.
She has told me about the problems you and Catherine had before she conceived, and she’s worried that history will repeat itself.
Tracey desperately wants you to see a grandchild.
Is it just a matter of time or is there anything you can recommend?”
Tony threw down the trowel he held in his left hand and led me to a bench seat at the far edge of the lawn.
“Son,” he sighed as he sat deep in thought, “I wish I knew. I really wish I knew. Catherine and I tried everything.
Of course nowadays you have got a lot more options than we had thirty years ago - but nothing we tried worked.
Tracey has been for all the tests that Catherine had and a lot more besides and they told her, just like they told her mother, there is nothing wrong with her. It’ll just take time that’s all.”
He paused deep in thought.
“Come to think of it,” he continued, “I believe our main problem was worry.
I have always loved Catherine, and I always will, but we believed a child was what kept a marriage healthy and once we resigned ourselves to the fact that it wasn’t to be and we gave up trying it suddenly happened.”
“I’m sorry son,” Tony buried his head in his hands and sighed.
“Catherine still has a good few years in her although she isn’t as fit and strong as she was but Tracey may be thinking that time is running out - and that might add to the worry.”
He stopped as Tracey opened the kitchen window and shouted,
“I’ve made a pot of tea if you want a cuppa you’d better come in now.”
Tony looked up smiled and asked “Is it safe to come in?”
“As safe as it’s likely to get.” Was her reply.
“Well,” Tony sighed, “I suppose we had better go and see what they are intending to spend my money on.”
Tracey and her mother were looking at magazines comparing wedding dresses and asked a barrage of questions until it became obvious to the females that Tony and I regarded their plans with complete indifference.
Tracey knew it was pointless to argue, so she turned to me sighing, “It’s your big day too. I want it to be really special for you.”
I kissed her lightly on the cheek whispering, “It will be special.
Your happiness will make it special.”
Tracey looked towards her mother for guidance, but all she said was “It’s no use arguing, I had the same problem with your father.”
She looked at Tony who smiled although he tried to hide it behind his teacup.
I tried to assure her “Why don’t you, your mother, and my mother get together to organise the whole story and delegate the legwork to me, Tony and my dad, so that we all know what everyone else is doing and it should go like clockwork.”
“An excellent idea.” Tony seconded with a sigh of relief.
“Okay,” Tracey conceded raising her notebook again she wrote:
‘RECEPTION’ – “Can you organise a venue for about 100 people?”
“No problem.” I confirmed.
‘BEST MAN’ – “Organise the best man?”
“Check.” I confirmed.
‘DIAMONDS.’ – “See if Rachel is free?”
“Already checked - she said this morning she had nothing on.”
“That’s another thing,” Tracey lowered her notebook, “on the subject of Rachel ‘not having anything on’ this morning, will you please stop teasing her.
She gets embarrassed and was liable to break every bone in your body this morning if I wasn’t there to hit you first.
I am trying to become friends with her and it’s hard enough without you winding her up. Okay?”
“Okay,” I laughed, “but I couldn’t resist.”
“I know, she smiled “That’s what worries me.”
She raised her notebook again and wrote:
‘EDINBURGH – “Can you find out how many are coming from ‘the Far East’ and how they’re going to get there?”
“Check,” I confirmed, “If we need a bus we’ll get a bus Okay?”
“HONEYMOON – Arrange a honeymoon? I don’t mind where we go but I’d rather nobody else knew the location either.”
“Okay?” I smiled.
Tracey ripped a page from her notebook, which had the headings written handing it to me saying, “There are a few things to be going on with.”
“Anything you sort,” she continued, “Tell Mum. Okay?”
“Mum’s the word,” I confirmed.
Half an hour later the operation was unfolding like a military battle plan when the ‘phone rang and Tracey answered it saying “hello.”
“We were just on our way to see you. We will be there in about fifteen minutes. Okay, bye” then she turned to me.
“That was your mother to find out if we intend to visit her today?”
She turned towards her mother “If I arrange for us to get together here on Monday night would that cause any problem?”
“No problem,” Catherine answered. “The sooner the better.”
Tracey gathered up her notebook and pen and pulling on her jacket ordered, “Let’s go. No time to waste.”
It was pointless arguing as I made for the door as Tracey kissed her parents and we made our way to my Dad’s house where she was asked the same questions.
‘‘It’s always left to the women to arrange everything,” Mum said over another cup of tea, “Just one of the hazards of being a woman.”
She stated elbowing my accused dad in the ribs.
Driving back east Tracey was still making notes into her pad as each detail came to mind and as we reached my street she turned to me to confirm that I would sort out the items on my list.
“First thing Monday morning” I assured her. “I’ll get Sarah onto it.”
“I figured you would do that.” she nodded as we entered the house to find Marcie, Lynda, and Debbie preparing our meal.
“Where is Aleesha?” I asked concerned.
“We don’t know” Marcie stated, “Nobody’s seen her since last night and even then she didn’t look very happy.
We don’t mind cooking - we are just anxious to find out if she’s okay.
She’s never stayed out all night before.”
Tracey helped me wash the plates and we went to my room where we undressed and resumed our love making with renewed vigour.