Chapter 21: Wednesday 29th July.
All was well in the house for just over a fortnight when disaster struck.
I returned home around 6pm with Jaclyn just as the 'phone rang.
“Hello,” I called cheerily.
“This is the general,” the stern female said, “Is Sister Willis there?”
“She should be,” I answered, “I’ll just get her.”
“No time,” the female said, “If she’s free could you ask her to come down?”
“Sure.” I said confused, but she was already gone.
Making my way to the living room to relay the message I found Marcie, Rachel, Debbie and Jaclyn standing silently watching the TV news coverage of a road accident.
“Marcie, that was ‘the General’ they asked if you could go down if you’re free,” I announced.
“Oh sure,” she sighed going to her room to change out of her sweatshirt.
“What’s happening?” I asked the remaining assembly of sad faces as I watched a mass of twisted and smouldering metal on the screen - oblivious of the commentary.
Rachel solemnly answered “A motorway pile-up at Harthill.”
It hadn’t occurred to me that the scene in question was so close to home.
I realised with horror it was the M8 motorway and recognised the familiar landscape from my frequent trips between Glasgow and Edinburgh as I joined the others in vigil for a few minutes.
We watched in silence as the camera panned a dozen or so unrecognisable vehicles amid a circle of police cars, fire tenders and ambulances – until I saw something that made my blood run cold.
Every fibre of my body turned to ice as I felt my blood drain from me and my heart sank into my stomach, which churned recklessly.
A huge lump came to my throat making it difficult for me to breathe and I began to spin as a strange panic empowered me.
I stood rigid for a few seconds until Jaclyn, noticing my discomfort, asked me, “Brian, what’s wrong?”
I slowly raised my left hand, which shook uncontrollably, towards the screen and quietly wept “Tracey.”
Among the debris of metal I was convinced I had seen the rear of Tracey’s white Nissan Micra, but by this time the camera had moved on as Rachel came to me, forcing me to sit down upon the sofa.
“Brian,” she whispered, “was Tracey coming tonight?”
I shook my head repeating, “Tracey, Tracey’s car.”
The telephone rang again and we heard Marcie call. “I’ll get it.”
While Rachel cradled me in her arms whispering, “It’s Wednesday – Tracey doesn’t come on a Wednesday.”
I knew she was correct but there was something about the car that convinced me it was Tracey’s.
“Melanie says tonight’s gig is cancelled,” Marcie called as she entered the room wearing her nurse’s uniform.
Noticing my distress she asked, “Whatever’s wrong?”
Jaclyn answered her saying, “Brian thought he saw Tracey’s car in the middle of all that,” pointing towards the TV.
In all the weeks I had been there Tracey had never come through midweek before, but there was something about the white Micra that deeply distressed me.
As they all offered words of comfort the camera again panned the carnage and I saw with absolute horror what was unmistakably Tracey’s registration plate and became hysterical as I pointed to the screen. “THAT IS TRACEY’S CAR!”
Each girl looked with horror at the TV as they tried to console me. Marcie looked bewildered as she jumped to her feet saying; “I have got to go. If Tracey is among the injured I’ll call you, Okay.”
Marcie slammed the door on their way out as we all turned our gaze towards the screen hoping to pick up any information and watched as firemen removed the door of the car next to the white Micra.
One of the firemen called for medics as he smashed the window of the rear door of the Micra and the camera followed him closely as he was surrounded by officials and Tracey’s limp body, covered in blood was retrieved and rushed to a waiting ambulance.
I pulled Rachel to me hugging her tightly as I wept into her shoulder and Debbie wrapped her arms around us hugging us. While rubbing my neck we huddled together weeping for several minutes.
The ‘phone rang and Jaclyn ran to answer it returning a few minutes later very distressed.
“Who was it?” Rachel asked. Shaking her head Jaclyn whimpered. “It was Marcie.”
We four huddled and wept together for about thirty minutes until Rachel smelled burning and brought us back to life by ordering Jaclyn to switch the cooker in the kitchen off.
Our meal was ruined but nobody cared anymore for food.
“Come on,” Rachel sobbed hauling me to my shaky feet as Debbie slumped to the floor in grief. “You should go and lie down for a while. We will sort everything out in the morning. Okay.”
I nodded, as I was too numb to speak.
Stepping over Debbie, who lay weeping at our feet, Rachel slipped her arm around me and almost carried me effortlessly to my room.
Once inside my room we sat together on the bed then removing her arm from my waist she silently removed my jacket.
She laid me down on the bed and removed my shoes before picking up my jacket from the floor to hang it up behind the door.
“Brian,” she whispered sitting beside me as I lay there,
“Would you like me to stay with you a while?”
She held my hand tightly as I shook my head.
“Is there anything I can get you?”
I shook my head again as she bent to kiss me.
“If there’s anything at all I can do for you. Just ask. Okay?
Anything at all.”
She held my hand between her voluptuous breasts tenderly kissing my fingers as she repeated, “Anything at all.”
Laying my hand onto my chest she kissed me and silently slipped from the room sighing; “I’d better make sure Debbie is okay.”
I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes recalling every warm night I had lain with Tracey until the door clicked open and Jaclyn came in to sit by my side looking at me with a pained expression in her sodden navy-blue eyes.
“Brian,” she whispered, “do you need someone who could help take the pain away?”
“Jaclyn,” I sobbed as she sat by my side, “I need to be alone tonight.”
“Okay,” she whispered kissing me goodnight, “if you need me I’ll always be here for you.”
“Okay,” I confirmed, “thanks for caring.”
“It’s the least I could do for you, when I was down you picked me up.
Is there anything I can do for you now?”
“Yes,” I replied, “tell Sarah.”
“Okay,” she sighed kissing me lightly, “I’ll call her.”
“Is Debbie okay?” I asked.
“Rachel is with her at the moment,” she answered,
“They’re both very upset but I’m sure she’ll comfort her.
If there’s anything I can do for anyone – just ask. Okay.”
She sighed kissing me again and got up to slowly leave the room.
I fell into a much-tormented sleep and woke sometime later to find Marcie leaning over me.
“I’m sorry to wake you,” she wept, “I just wanted to check how you were.”
“I’ll be alright,” I whispered.
“Would you like a cup of tea?”
“No, thank you.”
“Would you like something to help you sleep?”
“No thanks.” I repeated as she bent to kiss me just as Rachel and Jaclyn had done.
“If you need someone to hold?” she whispered through her tears. “Then come to me.”
I raised my right hand to cover my eyes and wept uncontrollably while moaning, “I just want Tracey.”
Marcie sobbed kissing me again.
“If you need somebody to talk to just call me. Okay?”
She slowly left the room.
About
fifteen minutes later I was almost into my tormented sleep again when the door suddenly flew open and I glimpsed a dark shape rush towards me.
It hugged me tightly while weeping into my shoulder.
When my eyes had become accustomed to the brightness of the still-unshaded light bulb I lifted the head from my shoulder and focussed on a pair of green eyes and realised that it was Lynda.
“Brian, I’ve just heard. I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.”
She wept while hugging the life from me as I kissed her lightly saying, “I’ll be alright.”
Her hold became tighter as she began to smother my face and neck in kisses.
“Lynda,” I ordered as I tried to free myself from her, “Lynda, put me down.”
She did as she was asked loosening her grip.
Sitting up she ran her fingers up and down my chest saying,
“Do you need someone to sleep with tonight?”
Lynda was, as usual, more direct then the others in offering me her body for the night, but I honestly wanted to be alone.
I lifted the hand massaging my chest to my lips and kissed it lightly saying, “No Lynda, I want to be on my own tonight. Okay?”
“Okay,” she sniffed, ”If you ever need me - just ask, you know where to find me.”
Lynda stopped as Debbie entered the open door slowly - trying not to spill a hot mug of tea. “Marcie says you’ve to drink this.”
Setting it down on the floor beside the bed.
“Will you be okay?” Debbie sobbed ignoring Lynda who had resumed her massage.
“Yes,” I sighed, “I’ll be fine.” as Debbie fell on top of me and wept hysterically.
“Brian, I don’t know what to do to make it better, I’ll help in any way I can.”
Kissing Debbie’s soaked cheeks I whispered. “Debbie, I told you a long time ago - best friends don’t make each other cry.
Be strong for me, please.”
She raised her head and nodded in confirmation before I whispered,
“Lynda, will you get out of here - and take Debbie with you, she needs you more than I do at the moment.”
“Okay.” Lynda sobbed, picking Debbie up and leading her by the arm from the room before turning off the light and closing the door gently.
I took a deep breath as sleep came upon me for several minutes and I opened my eyes to see it getting dark outside, so I figured it must have been around 10 p.m. although, I didn’t confirm it by glancing at my alarm.
I leaned over locating the mug of lukewarm tea and drank it before sitting up to remove my clothes and slip beneath the sheets hoping I would wake tomorrow to find today was all a bad dream.
Instead I woke a few hours later to find a dark shadowy figure sitting by my side.
Instinctively thinking that it was Tracey I whispered her name to be hushed as her warm lips met mine.
In the dimness with dried up tears in my eyes I couldn’t make out who she was as I saw her slip out of her dressing gown and snuggle in beside me.
As her warm soft flesh connected with mine I knew she wasn’t Tracey by the feel of her breast as it pressed into my chest sending much-needed warmth directly into my heart to soothe it.
This bosom was several sizes larger than Tracey’s which led me to think of Debbie, but, these shoulders were much broader than Debbie’s.
A strange sweet perfume filled my nostrils as I examined the possibility of her being Lynda. This aroma, I had smelled before, was quite expensive so I dismissed Lynda from my mind also.
I could feel her hips press into my groin and figured that she was far too thin to be Marcie, therefore, I reckoned she must be Jaclyn - these breasts were very firm unlike Jaclyn’s, which sagged after several years being unsupported, therefore, it couldn’t possibly be her.
Then it dawned on me where I had smelled this bittersweet aroma of her perfume before - it was in Melanie’s bed so I pulled her closer to me convinced she was Melanie until I placed my hand on her slender waist and felt her hair. “Rachel?” I whispered in disbelief.
“Shush,” she softly hissed, “go to sleep. Abandon ship.”
Rachel had a knack of explaining a long story or situation by just giving the title of one of the songs in ‘Diamonds’ repertoire.
‘Abandon Ship’ is a slow ‘power ballad,’ written by Angel, about a girl who is rejected by her lover and searches around for someone to help her make it through another lonely night.
The first verse describes her rejection and devastation and never fails to bring tears to many members of any appreciative audience.
In the first chorus Rachel sings;
#‘Abandon ship, before I drown inside this pool of tears,
#Abandon ship, has any girl been so lonely for so many years?
#If we could be alone together,
#We could save ourselves from all this pain,