Diary OF INFECTION: THE TURNING
by
Bridget Squires
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PUBLISHED BY:
Diary Of Infection: The Turning
Copyright © 2010 by Bridget Squires
Day 1- 11:25a.m
I was bitten today. On my wrist, left hand. It didn't hurt as much as I thought it would but don't take that as me saying it was painless because it wasn't. I staked out that grocery store for a solid week. A week! Only saw a few z-bees here and there. They were smaller z-bees too, not well fed; then again most z-bees were getting to look like that now a day. I needed more canned goods, water and supplies or else I would be joining my shuffling friends over there. But I'm getting ahead of myself; I better start off at the beginning first. Been on my own for awhile now, 3 months by my count. When the war began, the z bomb dropped and the disease spread, things got hectic. I started out traveling with large groups at first, but those groups attracted too much z-bee attention. People were getting picked off right and left. After awhile 5 of us broke off, stole a few guns and food then left. Things went good for awhile. A long time actually. I even kind of fell for Tracy; with those big brown eyes and that pitch black hair, what guy wouldn't. If this had been pre-z days she'd never had said a word to me, but now? Well you had to make do with what you got. Tracy was killed, no not killed because she didn't stay dead; let's rephrase that as Tracy came back after being bitten dozens of times. The z-bees got hold of her while she was on lookout and fell asleep. That was the night I went on my own, and I must say I have done rather well for myself up until now. Found a boarded up 7-11 and took refuge there. I didn't really get lonely, mostly because I wasn't all that popular before the big Z bomb anyway. Then I lacked good judgment for a split second and now? Well now I wait to start dying.
Day 2- 3:42 p.m
The bite itches. It almost looks infected with the green pus starting to seep out but I've cleaned it with everything I could, peroxide, alcohol, hell I even poured bleach on the damn thing. It doesn't really hurt is the odd part. The bite feels numb now, like my hand is asleep, all pins and needles, you know? I wrapped it up as best I could. Strange I thought once you were bitten you turned z-bee immediately, but I never seen no one bit just once so I can't really tell when I will die, well die-ish and come back. I don't feel sick, I feel like any other day except for the pins and needles part. My left hand still works, it hasn't got a mind of its own or anything. I slept fine but relived that moment of being bitten over and over again in my dreams. If I had just left those last few cans, if I just hadn't been so lazy and greedy, I'd be fine right now. I went into the grocery store unseen, got a few things and was ready to go. Then I saw the shopping cart tipped over and a little light bulb went off in my crazy head. Why not fill the cart with more food and supplies, and then I wouldn't have to risk coming out again anytime soon. Stupidest idea I have ever had.
Day 3- 6:05 p.m
The numbness is spreading, its up to my elbow now. I had a little bit of a hard time sleeping because I couldn't get comfortable with my arm all tingling and stuff. I keep thinking about how I thought to grab the cart, and fill it up without really considering if there were other z-bees around. I just gathered up all the cans I could, and was starting to push my bounty home when I saw beans next to an aisle divider. Why not add those too, I thought. As I reached for that last can of pork and beans, the z-bee I didn't see took a chunk right out of my wrist. The funny part is I don't even like beans. Lucky for me its legs had decomposed to the point that it couldn't stand, or I'd be a z-bee right now. You know, all these days since the z bomb I wondered what the z-bees thought or if they could even think. I hope so because I might be 1 soon. But then again what if 1 bite isn't enough? Maybe I'm fine. Maybe. Then to make things worse I saw a group of z-bees this morning outside my 7-11 stronghold. They were acting odd, not scratching the boards with their decomposing hands or gnawing on the boards that seem loose. No, now they were waiting, like you would in line at the grocery store. They stand there, outside a small opening groaning softly. It’s really starting to freak me out.
Day 4- 5:30 a.m
I can't sleep. Been up most of the night, pacing. I can't concentrate or even close my eyes for that long without splashes of red flashing behind my closed eyes. My mind is racing, but with no one thought taking precedent over another. The z-bees are still outside and now there are 2 more. I even named them, to give myself something to do to pass the time. Bobby Joe is the one who groans in the small opening. He obviously was a good old southern boy back before the z bomb. His mullet still clings to his head but is muddy and tangled in the back. The tatters of the t shirt he's wearing is probably something he got for smoking cartons of the cigarettes then sent away for. His face lacks a nose; it’s like this void of stringy muscle fibers and some cartilage. He's really annoying me groaning nonstop. I might shoot him.
Day 5- 4:22 p.m
My arm hurts. The pain started as the spasms then ached for a few hours, now I can't move it without wincing in utter unbearable pain. The bite is swollen, I drained it twice yesterday but the green pus just keeps coming and coming. I shot Bobby Joe this morning. The groaning and scratching is driving me crazy. The z-bees won't move along, they just stand at that opening moaning like we should be having a conversation or something. So I shot him and now another took his place and I may shoot her as well. Finally got a little sleep last night but the dreams kept waking me up in fits of heart pounding fear. I keep seeing this z-bee tearing this little girl apart. She's pushing at it but is no match for the large man z-bee chomping on her shoulder. Finally she goes quiet and I know she's dead. The z-bee guts her like a salmon and starts rooting around her intestines, scooping out pieces and filling its mouth. I can still hear the wet slosh as the little girl’s stomach bursts and its contents spill onto the ground. Then the z-bee turns and I realize it no regular z-bee, it’s me. I keep waking up dry heaving. I can't tell if I'm losing my mind or maybe its the bite, I just don't know.
Day 6- 8:46 a.m
I can't stop throwing up. Everything I eat comes back up within minutes. My arm still hurts, the bite is worse than I could have imagined days ago when I first got it. Black, crusty crevices show each individual tooth of the z-bee who got me. It’s swollen and I keep squeezing more and more pus out. The smell is almost unbearable. I think I might make a few more holes in the boards guarding my safe house to air it out some. The z-bees are still outside but the groaning doesn't bother me as much anymore. It’s almost become like a lullaby to me, it’s relaxing. I saw some non z-bee movement earlier but I could be seeing things too. The figures I think I saw moved too quickly to be one of those decomposing bodies outside my 7-11. I almost thought about calling out but in my condition I don't think I should be inviting anyone in.
Day 7- 1:26 p.m
Odd thing about throwing up constantly is you start trying a variety of foods to see if they stay down. Apparently meats stay down for me. I ate 4 cans of spam and 2 cans of Vienna sausage. I feel better now, even my arm hurts less. Saw movement again, over near an old pharmacy, about 20 yards from where I am. I fired a shot into the air; maybe if they come here they can stay safer. The z-bees at my opening noticed the slight movement and after they groaned back and forth awhile 2 of them shuffled off in that direction. One of the z-bees that left has a foot that has been dangling for the last few days and as it moved away the foot finally fell off. I can see the bone of the calf sticking out and drag along the ground, scraping slightly. Now it has resorted to almost hopping which I find amusing. I may take a nap now that the searing pain has subsided for awhile.
Day 8- 2:14 p.m
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So I was making a few new air holes when my knife slipped and sliced open my right hand. It didn't bleed, it seeps pus the same pus that's been draining from my left wrist where the z-bee bite is. Didn't hurt either. So out of some sort of morbid curiosity I cut my leg as well, and had the same pus leak out but no blood. It’s an odd thing not bleeding, you know? All your life you prepare to see blood when you’re injured or someone else is. Now to expect it and get none just boggles my mind. Am I bloodless? Had the z-bee infection rendered me dry? I have so many questions and no one to ask. Never since the z bomb have I wanted a live person around me more than now. It’s all I think about, warm flesh pressed up against me in a passionate, comforting embrace.
Day 9- 10:35 a.m
Movement again this morning. I called out and the movement froze, and then was gone. I think the person heard me though. Rosie, the z-bee that took Bobby joes place has been groaning at me angrily all morning. I think she's mad that I pepper sprayed her earlier. I just wanted to see what would happen. Rosie has only small wisps of what used to be blond hair left on her head. There's a gash across her cheek revealing the broken and missing teeth in her mouth and the remnants of what used to be her tongue. It almost looks like she ate her own tongue because its bitten off in just the right spot. It wouldn't surprise me if she did. The pepper spray did nothing to her except one of her eyes is completely swollen shut now. I don't plan on shooting Rosie; I really like the lullaby she sings me. I'm hungry all the time. It’s almost like I'm not getting full off just meat but anything else I eat, I throw up. I feel sluggish and aggravated. The skin around the bite is peeling away and bubbling. I think I can see my bone. The pain is bad but I'm so angry and annoyed for no reason the pain doesn't bother me much.
Day 10- 3:12 p.m
Mad. People came today. I covered my bite and said I burned myself killing off a z-bee. They bought it. A women, man and little girl, all fleeing from a hotel they were holed up in before the z-bees broke down the barricade. There were 8 of them, now they were all that's left with a heartbeat. The little girl is very sweet. She sits drawing all day and humming. The woman smells nice, like apples and cinnamon. The man is injured. He broke his arm escaping. I can tell they aren't well fed since they are pin thin. I let them eat their fill from the stash of food I can't eat. They sneaked in through the back, so Rosie and the others didn't see them. Rosie and me talked things out, we're back on good terms. I fed her some spam through a hole and now she sings to me softly again. I'm tempted to go out and hold her hand while we rock back and forth to her music. I'm finding it difficult to talk and move. My muscles hurt, like I pulled everyone in my body. For now the people stay.
Day 11- 9:42 a.m
It’s horrible. An awful, awful thing happened last night. I still can't believe it. The people fell asleep and I was twitching at the sight of them breathing in and out. I wanted them to stop, to be still and stop moving. I smothered the man and woman while the little girl slept peacefully. What the hell is wrong with me? These were good people that I told would be safe with me. What do I tell the little girl in the morning? What am I becoming?
Day 12- 7:48 a.m
I told the girl that the woman and man died in their sleep. The girl said she didn't really know them anyway, that her mother had died at the hotel. No tears were shed for the 2 people I murdered in cold blood. I dragged them out the back door and left them there, like garbage, like they don't even matter. I'm anxious and I been pacing all night. The dead woman’s flesh felt so tender, so soft. I keep thinking about how much I just wanted to lick her arm, just once to see what it would be like. A z-bee saw me ditching the bodies and I was willing to end it right there and then. Instead the z-bee sniffed me, touched my skin with its rough, sandpaper fingers and then moved along quietly.
Day 13- 4:12 a.m
I fell asleep around 8 last night. The dreams were vivid and horrifying. I was eating, this huge banquet of roasts, chicken and pork. I ate until I was swollen and had to undo my belt. When I awoke I found I had slept walked right out the back door. Not only that but I had torn the woman’s body open with my bare hands. I was covered in blood and I started vomiting when I realized there were wet, slimy chunks of her flesh in my mouth. I think I'm turning into a z-bee, actually not think I know. I can feel it, I crave it and I sympathize with it. I have to get the girl away before it’s too late, before my dream comes true. I can't control myself, can't help myself. I am forsaken and I don't even have the guts to do myself in. I'm a coward.
Day 14
Ate. Change close complete. I eat. No write hands no work good. Eat. Girl screamed I ate. Monster. No stop. I go away now. Terrible monster.