Read Diary of a Wickedly Cool Witch : Bullies and Baddies Page 12


  "Congratulations Tiffany," Mr Gordon said as he shook her hand. "How do you feel about winning this leadership role?"

  "Well I feel great," she said flicking back her hair, "but of course it didn't come as a surprise. Who else on this team would be worth choosing?" Again she gasped in horror as her truthful thoughts spilled out into the world. "What I do find surprising though, is the strange choice in some of the team members. I am, like, totally gobsmacked that my friend Krystal didn't get in, while some girls who are nowhere near as good as her got in. I find that, like, really hard to believe."

  "Ahhh thankyou Tiffany," Mr Gorgeous interrupted, looking rather taken aback. Little sniggers could be heard from the audience trying to make sense of her words.

  "So do you think you have an awesome team this year?" he continued.

  "Well, if there were 12 cheerleaders just like me, it would be totally awesome," she laughed, "but ah, like NO. We don't really have an awesome team. Some are ok but some are kind of a little embarrassing. Seriously how did you teachers pick this team?" Her eyes opened wide as she spoke, mortified at her brutal honesty.

  "Aghhh?.." Mr Gorgeous was gobsmacked himself, lost for words. "Ah, well, that's an interesting question Tiffany. One I should probably answer." He looked around at the other teachers for support. "They were picked because of their talent, ahh???. their ability, dedication and ??. and???" He was floundering, not knowing how to answer the inappropriate question. "And then of course Kaitlyn was picked because of her selfless act of support when she rushed off to help. That was pretty special don't you agree?"

  Tiffany laughed hysterically in front of the whole gymnasium. "Selfless act of charity? Oh that's a laugh. I've never heard of a bigger load of crap. And speaking of crap, she wasn't rushing off to help anyone, she was rushing off to poop?.. Ah I didn't mean to say that?.. Yes I did. I did mean it. And I should know because I gave her pooping pills?.I did not!......Yes I did?.No I didn't. Ahhhhh." Tiffany's eyes bulged out of her head. Her normally pretty face grew a hot crimson in color and her eyebrows reached for the sky in an expression of horror. Her mouth was out of control and she was completely helpless to stop the incriminations that vilely spewed forth out of her mouth.

  There was a sudden hush over the room as the audience digested the reality of the situation. Then, small embarrassed laughter filtered across the hall. I looked up at Kaitlyn who appeared heartbroken and mortified. She hung her head low while the other girls on stage started to whisper amongst themselves. The realisation of what Tiffany, Krystal and Chantelle had been doing to her had obviously sunk in. As sad as it was for her, I was glad the truth was finally out, so she could move on.

  Mr Gordon, who normally looked calm and kind-hearted, appeared stern-faced and serious. "Is this true?" Mr Gordon asked Tiffany. Oh bring it on Mr gorgeous Gordon. Ask her for the truth. She knows how to tell that. I laughed to myself.

  "Yes! I mean no! Yes it is the truth, I can't lie. I wish I could though, like I always do. Oh God! What am I saying? I don't know why I'm saying these things."

  "Because it's the truth," came a deep voice from the audience. Everyone turned to see Craig, the captain of the junior football team. "I heard it with my own ears before, when Tiffany, Chantelle and Krystal were talking about it. They were bragging about it actually. Normally I can't stand dobbers, and I've never had to dob on anyone, but in this case, I'm sorry I have to speak up. I can't have cheerleaders cheering on my team who are not part of a team and doing dirty, vile tricks like that on each other. There's just no team spirit in that."

  Craig was very well respected by the teachers as well as the kids and the audience started applauding and cheering. It was obvious there was no doubt left in Mr Gordon's mind after Craig's revelation.

  "Tiffany and Chantelle, based on what I have heard here today, I have no choice but to disqualify you from the team until a thorough investigation is undertaken."

  Chantelle gasped in horror and her face turned a shade of red that any tomato would be proud of. Tiffany screamed, "But you can't do that. I'm the best cheerleader. I'm the prettiest. I'm the most flexible. No-one can do a cartwheel as good as me, and all the boys love watching me." She was becoming hysterical with every truthful admission she made. Tears started streaming down her face as the crowd started laughing and jeering as she rambled uncontrollably. Mr Gordon walked her off the stage as she continued to rant, collecting Krystal along the way. Chantelle had very little to say and she slinked off the stage quietly with her head held low after Cranky Pants tapped her on the shoulder and asked her to leave. Cranky Pants took the microphone and appeared utterly speechless for once in her life. Amen to that.

  "Right!" she said. "What an unfortunate and strange set of circumstances. Never in my twenty years of coaching cheerleading have I ever witnessed such a disgraceful act of cruelty and poor conduct and ??.cheating. This will most certainly be investigated further at school, and anyone seen to have interfered with another person will be punished severely."

  "In the meantime," Mrs Carmichael entered the stage and took the microphone, "we will need to replace the two on the team. The first place goes to Carrie Johnson, while the next place will go to?." She bent over and whispered into Cranky's ear and they nodded in agreement.

  Maddy jabbed me in the ribs as a soft whisper melted my ears at the same time, "I hope it's you." Josh's voice resonated through my whole body and I froze, captivated by the power of his words. I was completely on another planet, caught in a moment of dreamlike intoxication when I felt Maddy jab me again and again.

  "It's you! Lily, it's you. Lily!" she kept saying.

  "Lily, do you not want to accept the position?" Cranky Pants' harsh voice interrupted my dreamy thoughts, and I realised everyone was staring at me and clapping. Josh patted me gently on the back and Maddy flung her arms around me. Momentarily I wished it was the other way around with Josh doing the flinging of arms around me, but I settled happily for a pat.

  I was as content and happy as I had ever been. It had been one mammoth rescue episode but it was "mission complete" and I'd made a couple of new friends as well.

  I felt elated but exhausted. The thing I thought I wanted most in my life had happened. I had made it to the cheerleading team, but it was achieving the mission that made me the most satisfied. I had helped Kaitlyn realise she was being bullied by so called friends and helped her see clarity to move on. In the process, (as a bonus) I had made a special friend, and maybe, just maybe I was about to make another special friend; this time of the male type.

  I looked over to Kaitlyn. She looked gorgeous. Despite being incredibly unwell all day, a rosy glow had started to creep back into her cheeks and she looked radiant. I looked around at my friends and felt the warmth of their smiles, and felt blessed to have the sincerity and loyalty they provided. They were true friends.

  Later that night when I dragged myself through the front door, tired, exhausted and overwhelmed, I did something I hadn't done in a long time. I went and gave my crazy, know-it-all Mom a big hug. She was always telling me stuff about how to act, how to treat people and how to put other people first. She always said, "it pays off in the end," and I never knew what she meant until then. She was right, as always.

  After sharing the good news with Mom, I was feeling so melancholy and emotionally elated that I walked down the hall and into my brother's bedroom. He was lying on his bed with headphones on and a gaming magazine over his face. Then I did something that I hadn't done for a reeeeeally long time. Actually, I can't remember ever doing it. I gave Dopey Dan a big hug as he lay there half asleep. The response wasn't quite what I was hoping for.

  "WHAT THE??!!" He sat bolt upright. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

  "I'm hugging you good night."

  "DON'T hug me. I don't want to be hugged by you. GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" I remembered why I never hugged him.

  "OK! Night!" I said sweetly. I was home again. Some things never changed and I loved it that way. I loved my dear brother j
ust the way he was, despite his lack of outward affection for me. I knew somewhere deep down in his pea sized heart, he loved me too.

  I blew the sleeping Lukey a kiss as he lay in his Thomas the Tank engine bed and I flopped onto my own comfy bed. It was a little outdated with its princess quilt cover on top. How ironic is that? Had to get rid of that the next day. I really didn't want to be reminded of princesses.

  Teeth uncleaned, check.

  Hair unbrushed, check.

  Clothes lying all over floor, check,

  iPad checked. Oh I needed to check my iPad. I leaned over and saw there was a message from Alex. I was excited because Alex had been away overseas and had missed all the action.

 

  Hey! Josh has dumped Krystal!

  Friday night

  Dear Debbie

  I love my life

  That is all!

  Good night x

  Hey there! I hope you enjoyed the first book in the 'Wickedly Cool Witch' series. If you enjoyed it, please leave me a review. I would really appreciate it. But if you don't, I promise I won't cast a spell on you.

  Don't forget, if you love humorous books, my illustrated short novel from the Game on Boys Series (for girls as well as boys)

  GAME ON BOYS 1:The PlayStation Playoffs

  is free as an ebook for a limited time. For boys and girls (8-13), but even adults have been known to laugh out loud too. If you love computer games, or love funny books, the 'Game on Boys' series. (1, 2, 3 & 4)

 

  And following is an excerpt of the first chapter,

  Then if you like it, you can read the whole series

  "Game on Boys 1 : The PlayStation Playoffs"

  Chapter 1: Bottoms at school

  I'm going to tell you something really weird. I mean super weird. You're going to think I'm really stupid. In fact you'll probably think I'm a real retard. My sister does. The truth is I love going to school. No I'm not kidding, if that's what you just thought to yourself.

  My name is Ryan and I go to the greatest school in the whole world and I have the best teacher in the whole school. Mr Higginbottom is his name. That's right Higgin BOTTOM. Can you believe it? When he walked into the classroom on the first day of term, he wrote it on the blackboard and said,

  "Ok everyone, that's right, my name is Bottom, Higginbottom to be precise. Let's all get it over with, say it out loud and then we can have a big laugh. BOTTOM, BOTTOM, BOTTOM. Come on everybody lets shout it out."

  We all burst into laughter and from that day on he has been the coolest teacher ever. It's a pity about his name though, but he lets us call him Mr H so it's not so embarrassing.

  My big sister thinks I'm weird because I love going to school so much. She doesn't understand though, because she's just a stinky girl who's always glued to her phone and making things with rubber bands. I call them Doom bands. What do girls know anyway? All they ever think about is cutesy, pukey makeup and revoltingly bizarre dolls that go to monster schools. Batz dolls I call them, with their oversized heads, puffy lips and only half a leg. Loom band Lisa is twelve going on eighteen, well she thinks she is anyway, the way she dresses. I guess she is kind of pretty in a fake sort of way. Just ask her she'll tell you how gooooorgeous she is.

 

  My Mom thinks it's wonderful that I love school and she's forever skiting (that means bragging) to her friends how well I do. She says she can't believe the change in me because I used to hate school in first grade. I still remember screaming like a fire engine with tears rolling down my face and snot pouring out of my nose clinging onto her chubby legs as she tried to leave. Yuk! I can't believe I used to be such a baby. How embarrassing is that?

  But now that I'm in fifth grade, there's no way I would miss a day of school. Uh uh, NO WAY! And there's no way I would let snot pour out of my nose either. To miss a day at school would put at risk going to one of the best places on Earth. Well? maybe it's not the best place. Zone Ten might be a little bit better. And this one time when we went on holidays to visit my Pop, I went to another place called Football Hero world. All the games were interactive and linked up to gigantic computer screens. You even got to see yourself being a TV presenter on a footy show on TV. It was awesome. Dad said I did a better job than Al Michaels and Emmet Smith put together and Mom said I was better looking than Tom Brady. I don't know what they were going on about, but it was a pretty cool place. Actually, it could even be better than Zone Ten. But I probably won't get to go again as Pop died and went to this other cool place called heaven where our dog lives.

  Our dog Pugsley went to heaven because he got bitten by a green ant and died. Mom said he just got old and sick but Dad reckons he was riddled with green ant bites from rolling on the front lawn and they sucked the life out of him. Now he's always telling me not to wrestle my neighbor Fletch on the grass in case we get bitten by green ants as well. I think he's probably telling one of those white lies that only adults are allowed to tell to stop me doing kung -fu on the front lawn with Fletch. Sometimes we do get a bit rough I guess.

  The other day I accidently kicked him in the privates and he went home squealing like a girl. It was just an accident. In case Dad is telling the truth about Pugsley and the green ants I always wear shoes now when I wrestle Fletch on the grass. That's probably why it hurt him so much. Better than being bitten by a green ant though.

  Now I have this obsession with green ants. The other day when I was eating my tea I had a weird thought about them. I asked Mom what it would be like if a green ant went into the bread roll that I was eating. We were having homemade Macca's hamburgers which Mom says are exactly the same as Macca's burgers except Mom makes them at home. They're much yummier though 'cos they don't have the green thing in the middle. I've never worked out why the people at McDonalds put the green thing in because everyone always throws it out. Even my Dad takes it out of his, and he has three burgers!

  Mom never eats takeaway food because she's always starting a diet. Plus she says it's not good for you and doesn't taste very nice. What would she know anyway? She thinks cauliflower and broccoli taste nice. But I know she always manages to sneak a few bites of every-ones else's when she thinks we're not watching. Dad rolls his eyes and says 'Why don't you get your own?"

  "Because it teaches everyone how to share", Mom always replies. Mom works at the hospital as a food technician in the kitchen three days a week which I think just means making the food. It makes her a bit obsessed about food though I think. The other four days she says she works as a shopping technician but she doesn't get any money for that. Dad reckons on those days she just spends all the money she makes on the other three days.

  So, as I was munching on a bit of crispy, green lettuce the other day, I had this really interesting thought at the dinner table about green ants.

  "Mom, what would happen if the green ant crawled into the roll and got lost in the forest of lettuce and then I ate it and it travelled all the way down to my heart and bit it? Would it really hurt?"

  She paused with a blank look on her face. "No probably not, because I don't think the heart would feel it."

  "Would I die?"

  "No I don't think so."

  "Would it cause me to have a heart attack?"

  "No I don't think so." Why do adults sometimes pretend they know the answer when they really don't, but they disguise the fact by saying, "I think so or I don't think so?"

  Mr Higginbottom would have known the answer to that. He knows just about everything because he's the best teacher in the whole wide world. This brings me to the reason of why I go to the very best school around and why I love school so much. I know you'll probably think I'm really weird but believe me, I'm not. If you got to do what I do at my school you'd be on ya skateboard and coming to my school before you could say "Higginbottom rules!"

 

  Thank you for reading my books. Stay cool!

 
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