"Sure," I lied. That was the last thing I wanted to do. Like, it was right up there on my list of things to do alongside eating poo for breakfast. I faked a smile which was quite ok as I was speaking to the two fakest girls in the whole school.
"So do you think you'll get in?" Tiffany grilled me.
"I'm not sure. I hope so, that's all I can do. I hope we all get in," I lied again. Oh I hated lying. I was making Pinocchio's nose look miniature. I was sure my nose would grow longer than a one foot subway by the end of the day. It would probably have a big fat wart on the tip, like some of the mean witches I've met in the past.
"What about you guys? How do you think you went?"
"Great of course. We'll get in no probs," Tiffany said vainly.
"Oh I hope so," said Chantelle. "I couldn't stand it if Connor had all those cheerleaders around him and I wasn't there on the away matches; one in particular. That's why we need to make sure that that one in particular doesn't get in."
"Chantelle, you're 13 not 30."
"What's that supposed to mean Krystal?"
"Anyway?." Tiffany butted in, flicking her long golden hair back vainly, "let's get down to the really important business."
"Which is?" I inquired, not really wanting to know. She laughed, a sweet sounding tinkle tainted with malice.
"Kaitlyn of course. So Plan A didn't work, Plan B didn't work, but luckily the gods blessed me as being a creator of genius plans, and I have a Plan C. That's if she gets into the final of course." She sounded smugly proud of herself.
"What do you mean by Plan C?" I enquired.
Tiffany looked at me bewildered. "To keep her out of the team of course. Is your brain still lying squished on that sidewalk?"
"Why are we doing this? She's supposed to be our friend." I knew as soon as I said it, I'd gone one step too far defending Kaitlyn. I didn't want them to become suspicious and lose their trust in me in case I couldn't find out any more detail.
"Because she stole Chantelle's boyfriend! DER! No girl does that to a friend. What's got into you Krystal?"
"But Chantelle left the school, went overseas. Didn't she break up with Connor? And Kaitlyn didn't even know Chantelle."
"Only because they had to break up. She didn't know her family would move back here. By that time Kaitlyn had moved in on her boyfriend. And anyway, why am I telling you this? You already know all this Krystal. I mean, god, you were the one who helped set up the plan to break up Kaitlyn and Connor. That was pure genius of you, and now you're going all soft and pathetic." She turned to Chantelle laughing. "Worked like a dream. Not only did she lose Connor, she gained a reputation as a two timer."
"But she's our friend. We shouldn't?." I had to stop myself in time. "I guess I'm just having a guilty moment, sorry. Does it really matter if we're all just in the group together? There's room for four of us isn't there?"
"Wake up to yourself girlfriend. There's no room for boyfriend stealers and that's final!"
I decided it was better if I just shut my mouth and not say anything.
"So," Tiffany said as she huddled everyone in together, "I'm assuming Kaitlyn will get in the final, cos she always sucks up to Mr Gorgeous, so this is what I intend to do?.." She pulled us in closer.
20. Something Stinks
Tiffany continued telling us her spiteful plan. "So, my mom has these tablets she takes when she gets blocked up."
"Blocked up? What do you mean blocked up? What gets blocked up?" Chantelle asked.
"Her bum gets blocked up and she can't poo properly."
"Eeewgh. I don't wanna hear about ya mom's poo," Chantelle cried.
"Well you're going to. This one time when Mom had one pill, it didn't work properly so she took another one, but then she couldn't really remember whether she had taken the first one or not, so she took another one just to be sure."
"And did it work?" I said, feeling very squeamish inside and uneasy as to where this was leading.
"WELL! DID IT WORK? DID IT WORK? OMG! It worked alright, again and again and again, to the point where Mom was running back and forth to the toilet all day, and in a desperate hurry. In fact sometimes she said she only just made it."
"Eewgh! You're grossing me out Tiff," Chantelle cringed.
"You're grossed out! You should have been there! It sounded like we had a steam engine on steroids running through our bathroom."
"So before I completely vomit everywhere, what has this got to do with anything?" Did I really want to know?
"Well, if three tablets makes that happen to my Mom, I was thinking six tablets should pretty well do the trick of stopping Kaitlyn competing in the final. Either that, or experiencing one veeeeery embarrassing moment." On that note, she exploded into laughter and was quickly followed by Chantelle.
"Ooo, I hope she doesn't wear white," added Chantelle, and they both laughed even harder, proud of their cruel jibes.
"And imagine if it didn't start until the presentation, and she was going up onto the stage and her bum exploded. OMG!" Their laughter shrieked louder with each cruel taunt. Inside, my stomach was churning, my heart was hurting, and my brain was into overdrive wondering what caused them to be so nasty. On the outside I faked a little titter to show my approval for their wicked plan but I hated myself for it. I had to prevent it from happening.
I racked my brain all through English class for what I could do to stop it from happening. I even began to hope that Kaitlyn wouldn't make it into the final so she wouldn't have to suffer at the hands of their cruelty. Then they might finally forget about their plan.
While I was at my wit's end, the obvious solution dawned on me. I would be the one who volunteered to provide Kaitlyn with the deadly cocktail of pills, except I wouldn't put the pills in. And if I really wanted to give Tiffany a taste of her own 'medicine', I could switch the pills into her drink, and make her poop for her life. But I couldn't be so mean. I couldn't do that to anyone no matter how mean they were to others.
My mom says this funny saying sometimes, "Do unto others as you would have them do to you." I have no idea what she babbles on about because she tends to babble on and on and on. But when she explained that it meant, that you should only do something or say something to people that you would like done or said to you, it sort of made sense. How I wish the princess gang knew that old saying.
The group of excited cheerleaders hovered around the gymnasium after school waiting for the list to appear as promised by Cranky Pants. They were as nervous and skittish as teeny boppers waiting outside a 'One Direction' concert. Twenty girls would be listed and only twelve would make the final team. I had been so focused on helping solve Kaitlyn's problem that I had forgotten to be excited about the competition. Mishy was getting excited enough for the both of us though. I overheard her say to the others that she felt so excited, she felt as if she had a bubble machine operating inside her head. And Maddy had said she couldn't wait to see us all go on stage at the presentation dance.
The presentation dance party was on the Friday after the final. We were too young to enter the previous year but this year was going to be an awesome experience. It was like the biggest sporting social event of the whole year. I'd actually never been to a dance party before and I was really looking forward to it. A teeny, tiny part of me wished I could stay as Krystal so I could have the experience of dancing with Josh, and feel what it was like to have his arms around my waist. But I quickly stomped on that thought and squished it into a million pieces and threw it out my earhole never to be entertained again. What was I thinking? Not only was Josh somebody's boyfriend, I really didn't like boys all that much. Unless I felt like playing basketball or kicking the football, there was really no need for them to be around. But Josh seemed????STOP THINKING LIKE THAT.
My thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Tiffany and Chantelle who sauntered into the crowd as if they were royalty.
"What's up chicky babe?" she said coolly.
"We're still waiting for the list," I
replied.
"Oh come on! Seriously! I have to get home to do my nails and straighten my hair. I have modelling course tonight."
"Here comes Cranky Pants," Chantelle said as the door to the office swung open and Cranky Pants waddled out. How she was involved with the cheerleading selection beats me. Her stomach resembled several donuts stacked on top of each other, (probably the result of eating several donuts stacked on top of each other) and her legs looked like globules of jello clumped together in the shape of ice-cream cones. She wasn't exactly the ideal cheerleading role model.
"Move back girls," she said in a snotty tone as she attempted to move through the hungry crowd to put the list up. "And if your name is not on the list, save your emotional, pre-pubescent hormonal outbursts until I'm gone please."
I think I was more nervous to look and see if Krystal's name was there. I felt kind of responsible that I was competing for her and she for me. I glanced over the heads of the others all shoving to see their name. "Yey!" I did a little dance in my head when I saw my own name. "Thank you Krystal for getting me in," I said to myself. Then I saw Kaitlyn's and Mishy's names.
I kept looking down the list and when I saw Tiffany and Chantelle's names, my happy dance did a little nose dive onto the floor and went SPLAT! I kept looking and my heart started to pump harder when I couldn't see Krystal's name, but finally there it was, right at the very end next to Sarah's.
I wanted to run over to Mishy and hug her, but she had turned to Sarah and Krystal (Krystal in my body) and was hugging them. I wanted to be a part of the group hug, but I knew if I tried, they would find it quite weird coming from Krystal. Instead Kaitlyn came over to me and hugged me cheerfully. Tiffany and Chantelle joined us and I faked excitement, but I couldn't bring myself to hug them. It made me vomit inside to know what they were planning for Kaitlyn and yet they were sucking up to her big time, and pretending how good it would be if we all got on the team.
"Oh I'm so excited," Tiffany said. "And to celebrate, I want to treat everyone to a smoothie tomorrow morning at CJ's at morning break, my treat."
"Well I don't know," I replied. "I don't want to feel all full and awful and gluggy before the final."
"Just have a small one then you fatty," she responded, glaring into my eyes as if I'd said the wrong thing.
"Yeah, I don't know either," Kaitlyn added. "I don't want a little pot belly protruding over the top of my shorts as I'm dancing."
"Seriously Kaitlyn. You are so up yourself, it's not funny," she said with a laugh. "You are so skinny. One little smoothie is not going to make your belly stick out. It will probably just flow through you like a running tap." She laughed as she looked knowingly at Chantelle and me.
Kaitlyn appeared confused but agreed to join us at 11am the next day. I desperately wanted to change back into my own body for the final, but I knew if I did, the consequence for Kaitlyn would be disastrous. I 'had' to be at CJ's as Krystal so I could pretend to put the laxative pills in the drink, otherwise?..I just couldn't bear thinking about it.
21. The Dirty Deed is Done
When I arrived at the school caf?, CJ's, at 11 am the next day, and no-one was there, I panicked. I knew something was wrong. There was no way Tiffany would miss the chance to sabotage Kaitlyn. I raced from one end of the school to the other looking for them, not knowing whether to change back to myself or stay as Krystal. I desperately wanted to be back to normal by 2pm for the final, but time was running out, and things were looking very ominous for Kaitlyn.
I'd nearly given up when I found the three of them sitting out on the bleachers at the athletics track watching Connor and Josh train. Josh was supposed to be Krystal's boyfriend, so why hadn't they invited me to watch? I was Krystal. This was getting totally confusing.
"Hi," Tiffany said in a sickly sweet drawn out voice. Kaitlyn barely looked up at me. In fact it felt like she sent a cold vibe directly towards me which was totally contradictory to the way she'd been. Something really weird was going on and it made me feel totally uncomfortable.
"So I went to meet you guys at CJ's for the smoothie at 11 like we said."
"Oh, didn't you get the message? I was sure I sent one to everyone this morning. We met before school instead at Koolbar. I was wondering why you weren't there."
My heart sank to the bottom of my feet. I had failed. I wasn't able to save Kaitlyn from the most vicious and vindictive act of hatred from these spiteful girls. I stared at Tiffany looking for answers. She turned away from Kaitlyn and made eye contact with me as if she was trying to tell me something. All the while Kaitlyn fiddled with her bag trying to avert her eyes away from me. Something had transpired since the day before and I guessed it probably had something to do with the troublesome Tiffany and her razor sharp tongue.
The school bell rang in the distance and Kaitlyn picked up her bag and took off. "Gotta go. I need to go to the bathroom before class. I'll see you at the final." She high fived Tiffany and Chantelle and passed her gaze quickly over me.
"Good luck Kaitlyn," I said. "I'll see you there." She mumbled something unintelligible that I couldn't understand. After she left, Tiffany grabbed me and started speaking in a hushed tone.
"I'm sorry, the plan changed and I didn't have time to let you know."
"But I thought we were meeting at morning break?"
"Well I checked with Mom about those pills and apparently they take about four to five hours to work, so if we'd waited till morning break, they might not have worked in time."
"So you've done it?"
"Yes I did it. I did it, I did it, I really, really did it," she chanted to a rhythm.
"How many?" My stomach felt sick.
"Well I was feeling very kind, so instead of giving her six, I only gave five."
"Five? You gave her five poo pills?"
"You know that's what we were going to do."
"Yeah I know, but I just??" I trailed off as I realised it was useless talking. I felt bitterly disappointed in myself. I felt like I'd let Kaitlyn down severely. Not only was she going to miss out on getting on the cheerleading team, she was probably going to experience the most embarrassing moment of her life. And I had no way of helping her. I just had to let nature take its course and see what happened. Maybe the pills wouldn't work, or maybe Kaitlyn didn't drink the whole smoothie because it might have tasted funny.
"You know what Kaitlyn said?" laughed Chantelle. "She said it was the best smoothie she'd ever tasted." I sighed.
"And did she say anything about me?" I quizzed, trying to find out why she was giving me the silent treatment. "Why was she looking at me funny?" Tiffany looked quickly at Chantelle, as if to silence her.
"Ah, no idea, I don't think she said anything about you. Anyway lets go get this afternoon over with so we can rip it up at the final. I so can't wait for tonight. I think Craig Cameron is going to ask me to dance with him. He is so hot and he's two years older than me. He's the captain of the football team in case you didn't know."
"What makes you think he's going to ask you?"
"I've caught him checking me out more than once or twice, and he asked me if I was going to the presentation. When I told him I was, he said 'well I guess I'll see you there.' A girl knows these things."
"Hasn't he got a girlfriend in tenth grade."
"Had a girlfriend," she giggled. "Anyway let's go."
"Ok. Well I'll see you in class. There's something I have to do first," I said.
"What do you have to do?"
"Oh, nothing important." There was nothing left I could do, so I resolved to change back into my own underwear again and become lovely little Lily, not cunning, conniving Krystal. I know people say, 'there's no place like your own home', well I say, 'there's no place like your own body'.
I waited until the second bell went so that most of the kids were tucked away safely in their classes. I raced into the toilet and pulled out a purse I'd been carrying around, waiting for the right time. It contained a lock of my own hair, and a s
craping of my skin which probably contained numerous traces of fungus or bacteria by now. That didn't matter as long as my genetic DNA was there.
I closed myself in a cubicle, took out the lock of hair and skin, and chanted with my eyes closed, sitting on a toilet. Before I began the spell I prayed that no-one would come into the toilet block. If they did they might just run out of there hysterically screaming.
"Heavens above and far below
See the other and dare to go
Take the mind from one another
Go back to where there was the other
Home! Lilymandra home!
Fulfil the deed and go alone"
I kept my eyes closed tight and began to feel the world spinning out of control. My eyes swivelled in the back of my head and I felt a torrent of waves rush through my brain like a tornado, enveloping my whole spirit. When it was over, I opened my eyes slowly, sheepishly looking around to see if the reverse spell had worked.
22. Home Sweet Home
"Lily! Are you alright. Lily speak to me." Mrs Snezel was shaking me by the shoulders. "Do you need to go to the sick bay Lily?"
"No, no I'm fine, couldn't be better actually," I said after hearing those wonderful words 'Lily'. I was home again. Home in my beautiful body and spirit. I looked down. Well it was ok anyway, minus the two bumps in front which I had got used to. Maybe I didn't have the long tanned legs like Krystal, but I was happy with just being me, because??..it was ME! Squeeeee!
"I wonder if I might just go outside and get a drink and some fresh air for a moment though?" I asked the teacher. I needed to see if Krystal made it back to her body ok.
"Certainly, do you want to take someone with you?"
"No, I'll be fine." I left the room slowly but then raced off to the eighth grade area.
I peered in through an open window, standing hidden behind a bush. Scanning the room quickly, I could find no sign of Krystal. But then, as I continued to watch, the classroom door opened quietly and I saw her walk in, dazed and bewildered. Half of the class started to snigger quietly when they looked at Krystal. Her normally immaculate hair was teased up resembling a bird's nest, and her perfect makeup was smeared across her face like a bird had pooped on it.