It was the day Wes had first come to my house. The day after I’d killed Liliana. Then a new thought hit me; it was the day I’d first noticed how gorgeous he was. He’d been able to hear every single thought in my head. And he hadn’t bothered to tell me.
I paced my room as little bits and pieces of that day came back. In particular, I remembered the moment we’d stood outside Jack’s house, and Wes’s eerily accurate response about waiting a minute, and they’d answer. I’d forgotten all about it in the chaos of everything else. Now, it made sense. He had heard my thoughts.
It was a little embarrassing, knowing he’d heard everything. Okay, it was a lot embarrassing. But mostly, it pissed me off. Maybe because I was already pissed off—at my mother, at Vera, and at what the circumstances of my life had somehow become. But, it was an invasion that I hadn’t been prepared for, from the only person I trusted, and I desperately wanted to confront him about it.
I waited until nightfall, after my mother had finally gone to sleep, which was only after I’d pretended to be for over an hour. I crept into the hall and stood outside her door, listening to the even breaths that signaled sleep. Then I padded downstairs and took the cordless from the kitchen, and slid to the floor in the darkened laundry room. I dialed Wes’s number and waited.
“Hello?” His voice was muffled by sleep.
“It’s me. Did I wake you?”
He became instantly alert. “It’s fine. What’s up? Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine. I need to ask you something.”
“What is it?”
“It’s about your mind-reading thing. Can you, um, turn it off?”
“No. Why?”
“Because I was looking at the calendar, and I realized the date of the last full moon.”
A pause. Then, “Oh.”
With that one word, my temper flared. “Oh? That’s it? You’re still not going to admit that you heard every single thought in my head that first day?”
Wes sighed, deeply, like he’d known this was coming. “Most wolves can do memory manipulation on some level. It’s what helps keep them a secret from humans, and normally the ability only works on humans. On the full moon, the ability is always strongest. For whatever reason, it means I can read minds—humans, Werewolves, Hunters, doesn’t matter. I don’t have a choice and I can’t turn it off.”
“So you heard everything I was thinking that day?”
“Not everything. I somehow missed the plunger handles you decided to carry.”
“Not funny.”
“And while we’re on the subject, I know you were wondering, and yes, I was checking you out. It had nothing to do with the scratches.”
His voice sounded gravelly at being woken up. That, combined with his latest confession, made it hard to be angry right now. I missed him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s hard to explain.”
“Try.”
“Vera didn’t want me to. She thought it would scare you away, just like the visions. And honestly, I didn’t want to scare you away for my own reasons. Selfish reasons. I liked being around you, and I didn’t want that to end if you were offended by my eavesdropping.” Another pause, then, “Are you mad?”
“Why would I be mad? Just one more thing to add to the list of things that was kept from me.”
He was quiet for a minute, probably trying to figure out how to handle me without making it worse. “It’s not like I tried to hear you. I don’t have a choice. I hear everyone. Do you know how annoying it is to be able to hear a million voices at once? I’m lucky it’s only one day a month. It’s enough to give me a headache for three days afterward.”
I stayed stubbornly silent.
“I’ve heard you before that, too. Once.” He paused, waiting for a reaction.
“When?”
“It was a couple of months ago. At Moe’s. I was in the back, praying the place would stay empty, to keep the volume in my head to a minimum. You came in with Sam and set up at a table by the door. I almost left after that—after hearing Sam’s thoughts. Hers are the type I try to avoid. But yours were different. They were kind, without being a pushover, and fun without being shallow. And surprisingly deep. It was fascinating, the way you interacted with Sam, despite being total opposites, and the affection you had for her.”
I knew the day he meant, because it was one of the few that Angela had missed. “It was a girls’ day. Angela had to stay home and babysit her sister,” I said.
“I thought about going to talk to you, even with the dilemma of being able to hear you properly over everyone’s thoughts shouting inside my head.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“For your safety,” he said quietly.
His answer should’ve comforted me, or at least made sense. Instead, the entire story only broke my heart; I wasn’t even sure why. “Don’t,” I said. “Don’t do that. You’re always doing that.”
“Doing what? Keeping you safe?”
“Yes. It’s irritating and annoying and ridiculous and … just like what my mother did.” My voice rose on the last part and I hastily lowered it again. “My mother thinks me not seeing you is the best way to protect me. She took my phone.”
He didn’t answer for a long time.
“Are you still there?”
“I’m here. I—I can’t go against your mother, Tara.”
“What?” I was pretty sure I hadn’t heard him right. I hoped I hadn’t heard him right.
“Jack came by after he left your house to lecture me about it. I’ve been thinking about it since he left, and I just can’t. What if you snuck around to see me and something happened?”
“Then you’d be there to prevent it.”
“She would blame me. And she wouldn’t be wrong.”
This time it was me who didn’t answer.
“It’s more than that, though. Jack sort of ordered me to stay away unless your mother changes her mind.”
“What do you mean ‘ordered’?”
“He’s the alpha, and … I don’t really have a choice here.”
“I can’t believe Jack would do that,” I said, shaking my head.
“I think it was Vera’s idea.”
“But Vera’s the one who said—”
“I know, but she also wants to give your mom time to come around to it all. She envisions more than just us as a couple, you know.”
I remembered the flip side to what Vera had seen. Me, a leader, bringing peace to the two races. Ending the war. I shook it off; I couldn’t think about that right now.
“I don’t care what Jack, or Vera, or my mother think,” I said, stubbornly.
“I can’t go against an alpha’s order. Not again.”
I stayed quiet and chewed on my lip.
“Tara, don’t be mad,” he whispered.
“I’m not mad, I’m just … I’m sick of being treated like an invalid. No one gives me a say in what would make me safe. Not even you. And I can’t live like that.”
“I can’t NOT protect you, Tara.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying we should take a break. At least until we deal with Leo. Then, maybe your mom will change her mind.”
“You’re breaking up with me?” My eyes filled with tears. They spilled over onto my cheeks before I could even attempt to blink them back. I should’ve known, after the night we’d spent together, that he’d go cold again.
“Tara, it’s not like that.”
“Then what’s it like?”
The kitchen light came on, and I held my breath. Soft footsteps padded closer, and a cabinet opened. The sink came on.
“I’m sorry, Tara. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” said Wes, in a strained voice.
Before I could answer, he hung up with a click that echoed all the way into my bones. I sat there, numb inside and out, long after the kitchen light had shut off and my mother had returned to bed.