As if that wasn’t strange enough, my dream then re-formed into a church. I was walking in from the right hand side to marry Boy. Yep, Boy. It was strange, but I was so infatuated with him I didn’t notice. I’d seen him before in the dream, but he had had his hair cut, especially for the wedding. We were all in scruffy clothes though, except my 3 bridesmaids, who, in reality would never be my bridesmaids, because I only chose girls with glasses (nothing against glasses, just most of my friends don’t have them). My entire drama group was there, dancing at the reception that we were suddenly at. Boy kissed me, lots of times, and I couldn’t control my euphoria. I was so happy, for the whole dream.
And then I woke up. A sudden sense of exasperation and sadness took me as I realised he didn’t like me back.
If anyone can tell me what this dream means, (other than that I am desperate, because I can depict that already thanks) please feel free. I am so lost.
What is going on?
I saw Boy again on Sunday. He was still just as lovely to talk to, and I really just wanted him to like me.
However, I also saw a second side of him that I can’t define. He may have just been upset, because he and his friend (the one who likes me) had a fall out, but it seemed like anything I did, he thought someone else could have done better.
On the other hand, he seemed to warm to me, and ended up helping me teach all of the younger ones one of the songs they have to learn, sharing a script with me. I felt close to him, and it was special.
We are all going out on Saturday, and of course I’ll keep you posted on any sort of development, but so far, there is none. He is apparently going to text me through the week to say if he is coming, but, being a boy, I really don’t expect it to be any time soon.
The only problem is that Saturday’s birthday girl has a massive crush on Boy. This means that I can’t flirt about with him, or she will hate me.
I really can’t be bothered with this Pretty, Clever, Never-says-a-bad-word act. Truth is, I am none of those things. I am merely a suffocating actress, trapped inside the body of Amy, waiting for her time to shine.
When I finally make up my mind on Boy, or find someone new, that is when she will have her time. Free, yet in control. Beautiful because she is exactly who she wants to be.
Film scenarios…
Sorry, I keep getting caught up and forgetting to post anything. Here is a quick update on my goings-on for the past few days.
First things first, YESTERDAY. I had possibly the most amazing day of my life.
I woke up feeling a bit reluctant to go out, as I knew that Boy wasn’t going, even though he didn’t reply to my text. I knew that Fair-weather friend was going, and Daddy Warbucks was too. It has recently been revealed that Daddy Warbucks has a rather large crush on me, which in a way doesn’t surprise me, the way he acts around me, but in other ways was a shock, because I’m not particularly attractive. But yes, it discouraged me greatly.
Next disaster of the day was my foundation. My bronzing powder got shaken up and coated the brush, which I didn’t realise at first, until my face had a massive orange line down it.
Then we had to wait 35 minutes for the bus, in a freezing bus station, because one of my friends was late.
It suffices to say my day was not going great at this point.
Some older people got on the bus, so me and the two boys stood up to let them sit down. At the same time as them getting on, a rather fitt boy got on too.
He stood quite near me and the two boys. Me and the lads were chatting, and making jokes at eachother, and the fitt boy was smiling along, almost trying not to make it look obvious. He kept catching my eye, and holding it a second too long, and naturally I was doing the same.
We both got off the bus at the Metro Centre, and I thought I’d never see him again. Typical.
However, later on, we were in McDonalds (classy I know), when he and his mates walked past, heading towards the ‘funscape’. There were 3 boys and 2 girls, and the other 2 boys were nowhere near as good looking as he was, so I presumed that one of the girls was his girlfriend.
We wanted to go bowling anyway, so headed into the funscape where the alley is. I was keeping an eye out for the fitt lad, when I spotted him, right in front of us in the queue for the bowling alley booking. He clocked me too, smiling, and looking drop-dead gorgeous.
I couldn’t believe our luck when he was in lane 11, and we were in lane 13. You know how the seats face eachother? Well, he had his back to us, but I could look at his head all I liked. It was strange though; he kept turning around to look over, and I swear out of all the girls there he was only looking at me.
We wanted a group photo, and I wanted to talk to him, so I went over and asked him very politely if he would take a photo on my phone. He smiled at me and said yes, and I nearly burst with excitement. He took the photo, and handed the phone back, making lots of eye contact, and putting his hand into mine, not just the phone. At this point, I can barely remember what happened, I was so excitable and overwhelmed. My stomach was jittery.
I sat on the end of the row, just so I could see him as he and his friends left the bowling alley. And that was when it happened.
He looked directly at me, and came over, like he wanted to talk to me. He really politely and sweetly asked for my number, so I, not thinking that he could be anyone, gave it to him.
The rest of the day was a blur of excitement and jitters. I couldn’t believe it. Everyone kept saying ‘stuff like that doesn’t happen in real life!’ and ‘it was like a film!’ I was just waiting for him to text me.
It got to over 8 hours later, and I was starting to feel a little nervous that I had put the number in wrong, until a friend reminded me that Boy Code has unwritten rules about lengths of time between getting a girl’s number and texting her.
Then he texted me. I was overjoyed.
He has since text me many times; we’ve just been discussing everything! Age, what we should do for our 16ths, where we live, what we like to do, school, music, rugby, our pets and our siblings. He even said that, if I didn’t find anyone better, he would take me to prom!
At the minute, it all seems too good to be true.
I bet you have already deciphered that I am getting over Boy with the aid of my new distraction. Boy hasn’t spoken to me since last week, and didn’t turn up at Drama today, so if he was ever going to decide he likes me again, he is too late. I’m going to see him in a pantomime on Thursday, where he will apparently be appearing in sparkly red shorts and wellies. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him about Bowling Boy, but as one of my closest friends, he has to know.
I am looking forward to telling all the girls tomorrow morning; they will be super jealous!
Amy; walking proof that film scenarios CAN happen in real life.
The Future?
I’m giving up on blogging, at least for now, in a last desperate attempt to gain control of my life.
Here is the fun part. You can make up the ending.
Anything you want to believe about what happens next in my life, feel free, because nobody truly knows, not now at least. All I know is, I am pushing on with my life, and I am going to make the most of every opportunity that I have. I think you should do the same.
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