Reaching down, I picked up my backpack, needing to break away from the craving I saw in his eyes.
“I’ll carry it,” he said, stopping me.
“No, I can get it.”
His eyes burned into mine, challenging me. Ever so slowly, they ran down my wet shirt then back up to stare into my eyes.
I looked away, knowing I could never win this contest. “Fine!” I handed the backpack over, unhappy to give into him.
He smiled triumphantly as he slung it on his broad shoulder.
We started walking down the empty road again. My wet shoes squished with each step. It was going to be a very uncomfortable walk until they dried.
We had only walked a couple of feet when Ryder grabbed my hand and held me back. “Hold on a sec, Maddie.”
When Eva and Brody were a few yards ahead, Ryder started walking slowly, dropping his hand away from mine.
“I’m sorry for acting like an ass earlier.”
The baseball cap was back on his head, hiding his eyes from me and causing his wet hair to stick out around the edges.
He stared off into the distance. “I was out of line.”
“It’s okay.”
“Like hell it is.” He sighed deeply. “I was scared shitless that those men were going to hurt you but it was a low blow for me to say what I did.”
Yeah, referring to sex with me as screwing did hurt.
He stopped and turned to look at me. My breath hitched when his shaded eyes moved down my body again. "When that slime ball touched you, I saw red. I could have pulled him apart with my bare hands.”
“Ryder….”
“I was terrified,” he said, stopping me. Scrubbing a hand across his whiskered jawline, he looked around at the empty farmland.
“There was one other time that I felt that way, Maddie.” He paused then swung his eyes over to me again. “Remember when you wrecked your daddy’s truck?”
I thought back to that night. I had been seventeen and driving home from a high school football game. It was late and the old dirt road I was on was empty. The moon had been shrouded behind thick clouds, making the truck’s headlights work harder to pierce the night’s darkness.
Out of nowhere, a large deer had jumped in front of the truck and froze in fear. I immediately stomped on the brakes but it was too late. With a sickening thud, the truck hit the deer. Its body crashed into the truck’s grill, rolled over the hood, and smashed into the windshield before flying off. In the end, my dad’s truck was totaled and I was taken to the local hospital to be checked out.
“What about that night?” I asked.
“My mom called and said an ambulance brought you into the ER from a car accident. She didn’t know anything about your condition.” He looked away and pulled the brim on his hat down lower. He clenched and unclenched his back teeth, his jaw tense.
“I left the ranch right away. Next thing I know, I’m passing your dad’s truck sitting on the side of the road. The whole front end was smashed together like an accordion. Hell, the front end was almost gone. When I saw that, I was terrified you were dead. I think my old Bronco hit a hundred miles an hour getting to the hospital.” He grimaced. “I felt sick to my stomach on that drive to the ER.”
I remembered that night vividly. My dad was beside himself with worry when I called him from the hospital. I also called Ryder but only got his voice mail. I remembered wishing he was with me but figured since it was a Friday night, he was probably either on a date or drunk. Apparently, I was wrong about both.
“When I got to the ER, you were sitting there, looking perfect and unharmed,” he said.
I remembered what happened next. “You were furious with me. Your mom finally made you leave.” I had been waiting for my dad to pick me up when Ryder stormed into the ER waiting area with a frantic look on his face. One minute he had looked panic–stricken and the next he was furious.
“I wasn’t mad at you. I was pissed with myself for caring so much. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. Then or now,” he admitted.
“So what you’re saying is when you yell and cuss at me, you care about me?” I asked, not able to resist teasing him.
“Something like that,” he said, smiling down at me.
“That’s screwed up, Ryder.”
“Yeah, well, I never said I wasn’t screwed up." He studied me a second before continuing. "What you don’t know is that I got stinking drunk after leaving the ER.”
He pulled up the side of his t–shirt, showing me the tribal tattoos running along his side and curving around his back. “I got this that night.”
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his bare, tanned abdomen and the intricate black tattoos wrapped around his muscles. My heart raced. All I could think about was wanting that body against me again, inside me, doing things that made me scream in ecstasy.
“I also woke up in some girl’s bed the next morning.” He looked off into the far distance, wincing as if the words hurt him. “She had long dark hair and brown eyes. Very short too. I picked her because…well, she reminded me of someone I wanted and couldn’t have.”
My heart pounded. It felt as if it would jump out of my chest, run over to him, and jump into the palm of his hand. Right where he had me.
He glanced over at me, waiting for me to say something. I wanted to tell him that some random bar–fly girl didn’t deserve him. I did. But he wanted the one–night stands, I wanted more.
He sighed and ran a hand over his face before facing me again. Taking a step closer, his voice dropped. “I fuck up all the time, Maddie. I don’t want to drag you down with me.”
“Too late,” I whispered, breathlessly.
“Hell,” he muttered under his breath.
We were both in trouble.
Chapter Seventeen
We walked in silence.
I had no idea what to say to him. We both wanted each other but the love was only one–sided. It made me ache deep inside, knowing he didn’t love me, but I knew that no matter what, he would care for me in his own way.
When we finally caught up with Eva and Brody, she gave me a questioning look. “What were you two discussing?”
“None of your business, Eva,” Ryder answered with annoyance as he stopped to pull out his water bottle. “You know she doesn’t have to tell you everything.”
“Oh course she does, I’m her best friend. What are you?” she asked with a smirk.
I grimaced at the implied meaning.
“Don’t mess with me, Eva,” Ryder warned. “You’ll regret it.”
“Hey, man, cool it,” Brody said, stepping between her and Ryder.
“This is between Maddie and me. She needs to mind her own damn business,” Ryder said, pointing at Eva.
“She is my business, dick–wad,” Eva hissed from around Brody’s back.
“I’m standing right here!” I said with frustration, tired of being fought over.
Ryder sighed in resignation. “Listen, Eva, I’m glad she can rely on you but damn it, you need to back off,” he said, facing her and placing his hands on his hips.
“Just understand that if you hurt her, I’ll cut you in that very special place all the girls around town love.”
Ryder clenched his jaw in aggravation while Eva looked ready to kill him.
This had gone on too long.
“That’s enough! I don’t want to listen to the two of you fight all the way home. Both of you kiss and make up,” I demanded. I gave each of them a warning look before walking away, not waiting for anyone to follow.
After a few minutes, Eva caught up to me. She didn’t speak and neither did I. My mind was on home and my dad. I just wanted to be with him. Safe and secure. I didn’t want to think about the future, I couldn’t think about the past. I just needed to survive.
If Ryder and Eva wanted to fight, they could fight. If Ryder and I were nothing but friends, I would learn to deal with it. But I wanted to deal with it later, after I saw my dad, after I was in my own house, after I dealt
with life changing around me.
The cool weather had disappeared and heat descended on us again. I wondered what time it was. Maybe close to dinner? My stomach growled, the peas from earlier already forgotten. I didn’t see any meal in my future but I tried not to dwell on it too much.
We still had not seen a home, a car, or another person. Only acres of farmland surrounded us, making me feel lost and alone.
Hours passed. Occasionally, Brody would pull out the map to see where we were. I didn’t want to know how many miles were left. I just wanted to walk until we arrived home. If I thought about it too much, depression would press down on me.
My rib and broken finger still hurt with each step I took. The gash on my head had stopped throbbing miles back. I tried not to think about the lingering pain or the amount of time it was going to take for my bones to heal. I just had to take it one day at a time, one step at a time.
The sun went down and we walked. The moonlight was bright enough to see the road in front of us. It was an eerie feeling, walking down a deserted road at night. It felt as if we were the only four people left in the world.
Ryder walked beside me in the dark, ready to reach for me if need be. His baseball cap now swung from his backpack, leaving his hair at the mercy of the wind and his eyes for me to see.
I took off my baseball cap and ran my fingers through my hair, loosening the ponytail. At the same time, a pack of coyotes howled somewhere in the distance. The sound sent a shiver up my back.
“It’s just coyotes, Maddie,” Ryder chuckled when I took a frightened step closer to him.
“I know. I just can’t stand the noise. It sounds so…bloodcurdling.”
“You weren’t afraid of them when we snuck out at night.”
“That was different. We were kids and we were always near the house. This is the middle of nowhere,” I said, remembering those nights. Sometimes, I would wake up to Ryder throwing pebbles at my bedroom window. After I snuck out, we would sit in the barn or lay on the ground, watching for falling stars and talking. It had been one of my favorite things to do with him.
“There was one particular night…I was sixteen, you were thirteen. We were in the barn, hanging out at one o’clock in the morning when the coyotes started howling,” he said, one corner of his mouth turning up in a smile.
I blushed. I remember that night vividly.
“You asked me what it was like to kiss,” he said, his eyes cutting my way.
“I remember,” I said, quietly. My cheeks burned with embarrassment.
“I was so freaking happy to know you hadn’t kissed anyone yet,” he said, smiling in the dark. “And then you asked me to practice with you.”
“What was I thinking? I was only thirteen,” I muttered, feeling mortified. Nothing had changed. I was a fool for him then just like I was now.
“I’m glad that I was the first to kiss you,” he said, looking over at me with eyes so blue under the moonlight, “and take you to bed,” he finished with a low voice.
“I’m glad it was you too,” I said, throaty.
He smirked with a flirty, don’t–trust–me grin. “I’m always willing to help a friend out.”
“Ryder…” I began, cringing at the word ‘friend.’ I wanted to tell him that he was more than a friend and I wanted more from him than just sex but I didn’t get a chance to say anything.
Car lights beamed behind us from down the road, illuminating the area brightly.
At first, I was excited. We would see other people! Maybe we could catch a ride. Or maybe they would have food to spare. But then I saw the look on Ryder’s face.
He grabbed my upper arm and hauled me quickly over to the ditch. Eva and Brody followed with Brody pulling Eva behind him.
When our feet hit the dirt, Ryder pushed me down on my stomach and laid his arm over my back. Mud oozed around me, soaking into my shirt and coating my arms. My rib screamed with pain from the fast drop to the ground but I was more afraid of what was happening than I was the damage to my side.
Ryder put a finger to his lips, signally for me stay quiet. Brody and Eva laid beside me silently, watching as the headlights drew closer and closer. I felt panic bubble up as Ryder’s arm pressed down on me. If he was nervous, I knew we were in trouble.
The lights were now even with us. I watched as an old mustang raced by, packed with young men, laughing and yelling at the top of their lungs. Someone threw a beer bottle out of the window, narrowly missing us. As the car flew down the road, voices lingered behind in the nighttime silence.
After their lights disappeared, we crawled out of the ditch, covered in mud.
“Why didn’t we flag them down?” Eva asked with exasperation as she tried to pick mud off of her pink shirt. "We could have caught a ride."
“Because I wanted to see who we were dealing with,” Ryder answered.
“Yeah, a car load of drunks isn’t exactly a good thing when we have two girls with us,” Brody said. “We have no weapons and neither of us wants a repeat of what those convict bitches threatened to do to you two if we didn’t cooperate.”
I saw Ryder clench his jaw hard. “That won’t happen again. Heads will roll if anyone touches them,” he snarled.
“Well, hell!” Eva muttered. “Can we not catch a break here?”
I felt the same way. I was tired and my stomach was rumbling painfully. Help would have been nice.
We started walking again. This time we stayed close together, spooked by the darkness and the threat of danger.
“So Ryder, I heard you are an avid hunter,” Brody said, breaking the heavy silence.
“Yeah, I hunt. What about it?” Ryder asked, still obviously upset with Brody from earlier.
“I was just thinking that if the power doesn’t come back on, we’ll have to hunt for fresh meat. That takes guns and ammo. You got them?”
"Yeah," Ryder answered, not giving details.
“I don’t eat venison,” Eva said, stubbornly.
“If you want meat, you will,” Brody said.
“You’ll be doing a lot that you usually don’t do, Eva,” Ryder mumbled as he looked around us. “Better get used to it.”
I knew what he said was true. If the power didn’t come back on in the next few weeks, the simple day–to–day living was going to be more complicated and a whole lot harder. We had to be stronger, more willing to do what needed to be done, to survive.
“My dad and I will have to hunt. We don’t have enough food to last us longer than a week,” I said worried, wondering how long we could maintain that kind of life. We didn’t know how to sterilizing water or live off the land. How we would survive, I didn’t know.
“You don’t have to worry, Maddie, I’m not going to let you starve,” Ryder said grimly, watching the distance. “What’s mine is yours.”
I felt my heart quicken at those four words, so full of meaning. I wanted to read so much more into them but knew that was just my heart talking. Friends took care of friends. That’s all there was to it. Stop overanalyzing everything he said.
I shot Eva a don’t–you–dare–say–a–word look when she raised her perfectly arched eyebrows at me. It was time to steer the conversation in a different direction before Eva got it in her head to prod Ryder to elaborate.
“Do you think your brother is okay?” I asked Ryder.
The moon chose that moment to pass behind a large cloud, momentarily shrouding us in complete darkness. Completely blind now, I was thankful when Ryder’s hand wrapped around my wrist, keeping me close to him.
“I figured Gavin hauled ass out of Dallas and headed home right away,” Ryder said, his fingers holding onto me.
I cleared my throat, trying to ignore the tingle his touch caused.
“I hope he’s safe.”
“I’m sure he’s fine,” he said, with a surprising amount of tension in his voice. “Don’t worry about him. Gavin is too much of a badass to be brought down by this.”
I wish I could be that positiv
e about my dad. Concern for his safety was constantly on my mind.
“Do you think my dad’s okay, Ryder? He’s home alone and with his heart…”
Ryder looked down at me, just an outline against the dark sky now. “My parents know he has health problems. They’ll make sure he’s okay. And you know my mom; she’s a ballbuster. She probably insisted that he stay with them so she could keep an eye on him.”
“I hope,” I whispered, sadly. “He can be stubborn.”
“Must run in the family,” Ryder said, the corner of his mouth lifting up in a grin.
I smiled tentatively at him. “Well, it’s rubbed off on you.”
“I’m not complaining if anything of yours rubs on me,” he said, huskily as his thumb lightly brushed over the sensitive skin of my inner wrist.
“Does that line work on all the girls, Ryder?” I asked with a nervous laugh, blushing.
“No, but it got you to smile, didn’t it? That was my goal.” Stopping suddenly, he cupped my jaw and turned my face up toward him. “I’ve missed your laugh, Maddie.”
I felt those darn butterflies take flight in my stomach again.
Abruptly, he dropped his hands away as if he suddenly realized he was touching me. As his blue eyes looked deep into mine, I felt the invisible wall go up between us again, cutting him off from me once more.
“I know you’re going to worry about your dad. You wouldn’t be the Maddie that I know if you didn’t. But try to relax. I’ll get you home. I promise,” he said, all playfulness gone.
And if there was one thing Ryder always did, it was keep his promises.
Chapter Eighteen
I was so exhausted that I was having trouble staying awake as we walked. I prayed silently for shelter, help, a reprieve from this awful situation. Something. Anything. I just prayed.
When Brody and Eva stopped unexpectedly, I didn’t realize it until Ryder came to a standstill directly in front of me.
I felt the air fill with tension. Looking around Ryder’s tall body, I saw a minivan parked in the middle of the road with all its doors thrown wide open.
I watched with panic as Ryder pulled the hunting knife from the back of his waistband. He held it in a strong grip, ready for any threat.