Maybe he was right. Maybe it had been a mistake. I loved him and that frightened me. But not having him as a friend frightened me more.
~~~~
Back at the apartment, I walked out of my bedroom ready to go for a run. I needed a few miles of mindless running to clear my mind. Looking down at my Ipod, searching for the perfect song to run to, I almost bumped into Ryder. He was standing in the hallway, talking on his phone. His expression was grave as he held the phone to his ear and glanced down at me.
I skirted around him, putting my earplugs in and heading for the front door. Halfway there, my phone chirped in my hand.
Ben’s face lit up the screen. I really didn’t want to answer but I knew he would call over and over until I did.
“Hello, sweetheart,” his voice said, sounding genuine and happy.
“Hey, Ben.”
Why was he calling me sweetheart? It seemed so endearing before but now it graded on my nerves. And why was he calling me anyway?
When he heard Ben’s name, Ryder’s head whipped around, looking at me sharply. Eva also glanced up from her magazine to watch me warily from the couch. I was uncomfortable with the stares but I refused to be intimidated. Ryder had no right to be jealous. He made that very clear when he said there was nothing between us.
“So I know we broke up but I wanted to see you tonight,” Ben said.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ben. We’re over,” I said, glancing at Ryder. His eyes never left mine as he said goodbye to whoever he was on the phone with and walked further into the living room.
“At least tell me where you will be tonight,” Ben said.
Before I could give him a vague answer, the call dropped, leaving only silence. I hung up, thankful for the bad reception. It saved me from trying to explain again that it was over between us.
Ryder’s eyes were cold as they watched me. I could practically see the rage rolling off of him in waves. He didn’t say anything but turned and walked to the kitchen, slapping the door open a little too hard.
“Someone’s jealous,” Eva said as she went back to flipping through her magazine. "Interesting."
This time, I didn’t disagree with her.
Chapter Ten
I leaned closer to the mirror and applied some “Pink Afterglow” lip–gloss. The name was appropriate for the way I felt but I tried not to dwell on it as I smoothed down the hem of my dress. Hitting me mid–thigh, the material felt like silk next to my skin. The back dipped low, leaving my spine bare while the front covered me completely. After slipping on a pair of strappy high heels, I took one more glance in the mirror before leaving my bedroom.
When I walked into the living room, Ryder’s eyes slowly ran over me, from my heels to my perfectly straight hair. The heat in his eyes disappeared, replaced by anger.
“You can’t wear that,” he said, rising from the couch slowly.
“She can wear whatever she wants, Ryder. Leave her alone,” Eva said, walking into the room and looking great in a short skirt and a pale pink blouse that enhanced her tanned skin and blonde hair.
“Go change, Maddie,” he demanded.
“She’s not going to change! You aren’t her boyfriend, so back off!” Eva lashed out.
It was obvious that Eva was trying to get him to own up to his feelings but I knew Ryder better than she did — he wouldn’t break that easily.
“I’ll have to fight guys off of you all night,” Ryder said hoarsely as his gaze dropped down to my legs.
My heart rate took off for the millionth time in less than a day. As always, he took my breath away. The well–worn jeans looked impeccable on him, sexy despite the frayed edges and faded color. A black shirt clearly defined his well–muscled torso and couldn’t hide the ink on his arm. The way he looked, I would be the one fighting women off of him all night.
“Who says I want you to fight guys off me?” I retorted, feeling like a child sticking my tongue out at him.
Ryder took a step closer and opened his mouth to argue but I stood my ground, one eyebrow raised, daring him to continue.
We held each other’s gaze for a moment, neither of us willing to back down. Finally, Eva had enough.
“Let’s go! We’re late and Brody will be waiting.”
~~~~
The late evening heat was torturous and I could feel it sucking all the evening’s excitement out of me. We stood impatiently in front of the club, sweating and hot as we waited for the bouncers to check everyone’s ID.
Ryder kept close behind me. I could feel him inches away as I listened to Eva. I tried to focus on what she was saying but it was impossible with Ryder standing guard over me. By the time we made our way to the front of the line, I was hot and irritated. I handed the bouncer my ID and tried to ignore Ryder.
The big, beefy guy glanced at the card quickly before looking me up and down.
“You’re too pretty to be hanging out in this club,” he said with a grin.
The guy seemed harmless so I smiled back. A little flirting never hurt anyone. But Ryder had a different theory on that.
I sucked in a breath as his warm fingers slid onto the bare skin of my back. Fire raced along my nerve endings, making my body betray the promise I made to ignore him.
The bouncer’s smile disappeared when he saw Ryder’s death–dealing stare. Handing my ID back, he motioned us into the club. No one messed with Ryder when he was mad, even a big bouncer. It irked me. But what really got me fired up was when Ryder guided me away, keeping his hand on my back. Possessively.
“What are you doing?” I hissed, giving him my best ‘how–dare–you’ glare. He had no right to be possessive. Men that only wanted one thing didn’t get that luxury with me.
“Jerk was flirting with you.”
“Why do you care? We’re just friends remember?” I said, sarcastically.
Before he could answer, I hurried to catch up with Eva. I needed some distance between us before I screamed at him in frustration.
The music grew louder as I followed Eva deeper into the club. The place was dark and packed. Half of the people were on the dance floor, bodies pulsing and grinding to the thumping music.
Eva spotted Brody by the bar. They were hugging when I walked up.
“Hey, stranger!” I said with a smile.
Brody was tall and cute. He had cropped off brown hair, light green eyes, and a face that every girl loved. He had the trim body of an athlete and the personality of a good ol’ boy.
“Hey, Maddie! Wow, you look good!” Brody exclaimed, letting go of Eva to hug me tightly. “I’ve missed seeing your gorgeous face.” His smile slipped then disappeared when he glanced behind me.
I turned around and found Ryder behind me, looking furious. His cold eyes glowered at Brody and his stance spoke volumes — he was ready to pounce and kill.
“Ryder, this is Brody, Eva’s ex,” I said, stressing the word ex. I wasn’t sure I could defuse the hostility rolling off of him but I wasn’t afraid to try.
Looking a little nervous, Brody stuck out his hand for Ryder to shake. “Hey, man.”
Ryder still looked ready to injure someone but he leaned around me to take Brody’s outstretched hand and shake it.
“Wait a minute! Are you ‘the Ryder’? As in Maddie’s Ryder?” Brody asked with awe.
Redness rose in my cheeks.
“The one and only,” Ryder said deeply.
“Well hell, dude! I’ve heard all about you! You’re a legend at home. There are rumors…Is it true you beat the living daylights out of Peter Jacobson in an underground fight ring when you were a senior? You won five hundred big ones in less than five minutes.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” Ryder answered.
“And is it true that you nailed Miss Roland after class one day? On a desk?” Brody asked.
“Disgusting,” Eva muttered.
I couldn’t help but stare at Ryder with disbelief. Miss Roland had been my high school chemistry teacher. She had been ni
ce and sweet. Also, blonde and young. Just his type.
“That one’s not true.”
I let out a relieved breath.
“You going to school here?” Brody asked, taking a drink of his beer.
“No. I’m here with Maddie.”
Wow. He made that sound so intimate.
"Cool. So are ya’ll…?" Brody asked, motioning between the two of us.
“Let’s dance!” Eva cut in, grabbing Brody’s hand and tugging him to the dance floor, saving us from answering his question.
Ryder and I stood in awkward silence. A few inches separated us but it might as well have been a mile.
“I’m going to get a drink. Want anything?” he asked, looking down at me cooly.
I shook my head and watched as he walked away. In a moment of self–pity, I felt out of place. Alone. I was here for Eva but I didn’t belong here, pretending Ryder and I were just friends, trying to mask what I really wanted.
I glanced over at the bar. Ryder was leaning casually against the glossy wooden counter, looking right at home as he waited for his drink. A smile was spread across his face, lighting up his eyes and making him appear mischievous. But his smile wasn’t for me. It was for the redhead standing near him. She was tall and gorgeous. And looked perfect next to him.
Tears stung my eyes as he laughed at something she said, his eyes crinkling in the corners. It was now more than obvious that last night meant nothing to him. Nothing except a good time.
I brushed away the tears, refusing to cry. I was such a fool! I should have known better. He played me just like he did every other girl.
I had to let him go.
“There you are! Let’s dance!” Eva shouted, grabbing my hand and dragging me to the dance floor.
The crowd surrounded us as we pushed our way to the middle of the oak floor. People danced and laughed around me. Happy. Carefree. Not stupid for giving their hearts away.
Hurt squeezed my insides until I thought I would cry. I had given up my virginity — the one thing that I could never get back — for what? A best friend who thought it was all a mistake. A man incapable of loving. What had I been thinking?
“What’s wrong?” Eva asked.
“Ryder is standing at the bar flirting with someone. Proving I was just an easy lay.”
“Forget him!” she yelled over the booming music.
If only I could.
~~~~
Eva coaxed me to start dancing and threatened me if I didn’t. I moved to the music but thought of Ryder. I scolded myself each time I scanned the crowd for him, hoping to see him heading my way. Praying to see him smile at me like he smiled at the redhead.
One song rolled into another. I never saw him. I cursed him silently. I raged at him for staying at that bar, flirting, smiling, maybe touching someone else.
I was just beginning to enjoy myself when a hand inched around my waist.
Damn, him! I will not be his plaything! I whipped around, planning on giving him a piece of my mind.
“Hello, Maddie.”
A thread of fear slithered through my veins. My stomach dropped and my voice left me.
Ben stood next to me, a smirk on his face and his fingers tight on me. The smell of alcohol on him was overwhelming.
My limbs started shaking, making me feel weak. When I looked at him, I felt as if I was suffocating, gasping for my last breath. A cold chill raced along my skin despite the heat of the club.
He took a step closer. His clammy hands rested on my waist, feeling like weights against me. I managed to wrangle out of his hold and take a hasty step back. My heartbeat pounded loudly in my ears, making thoughts impossible.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Eva asked, pushing me behind her.
“I came to talk to her. Back off, bitch!” he snapped, snarling down at her with unleashed hate.
Eva’s eyes rounded with shock and her anger disappeared, replaced by fright. She was speechless as he pushed her out of the way to get to me.
“Ben, you need to understand that it is over between us,” I said firmly despite the trembling of my body.
“And you need to understand that I love you. I can’t let you go. I won’t.” Snatching both of my hands, he yanked me toward him. I tried to pull away but he held tight. His fingers bit into my wrists painfully, cutting off the circulation.
Panic flooded me. Oh, God! Not again! I struggled to break his hold but he just pulled me tighter against him.
“LET HER GO!” Eva shouted as she tried to pry his hands off me. He transferred my wrists to one hand and shoved her away again. This time she stumbled backward and almost fell.
Tears swam in my eyes from the excruciating hold he had on me.
“Ben, please let me go,” I begged.
“I can’t, Maddie!” he cried hoarsely, jerking me to him hard. "I can’t tear you out of my mind!"
I looked to Eva. I tried to send her a silent message to go for help. I had no idea where Ryder or Brody were but I needed someone. I couldn’t fight Ben on my own. Eva gave me a helpless look but I felt a glimmer of hope when she pulled out her cell phone and start texting quickly. I knew then that Brody or Ryder would be on their way soon.
Ben turned around and started to drag me off the dance floor. I dug in my heels, refusing to go easily, but he just tightened his hold on my wrists and yanked. My bones felt as if they were breaking under his strong hold.
“Ben, you can’t do this!” I cried loudly, frantically looking around for help. That’s when I saw Ryder and Brody.
The murderous look on Ryder’s face scared me as much as Ben’s crazed one.
“Get your fucking hands off of her!” Ryder roared, pushing people out of the way to reach us. His fierce eyes darted down to the bruising hold Ben had on me. If possible, Ryder’s expression became even more deadly.
Ben let go of me and threw his hands up in a nonthreatening gesture. But I doubted he was giving up that easily.
Ryder stepped between us, pushing me behind him with one hand pressed to my hip. He didn’t remove his hand but kept it on me, keeping me behind him.
As much as I hated to admit it, I felt safe now that Ryder was here. We might have messed things up between us but I knew he would protect me at any cost.
“I love her, man! Don’t keep her from me!” Ben sobbed, incoherently. “I love you, Maddie,” he wailed in grief, swaying on his feet.
“You need to get it into your shitty head that it’s over between you two!” Ryder said, taking a threatening step toward Ben but still standing rigidly in front of me, hiding me from any danger.
“Man, she doesn’t…”
“She’s mine now, asshole,” Ryder growled.
The sorrow suddenly disappeared from Ben’s face. In its place, I saw hatred so terrible that I reached out to pull Ryder back. He didn’t budge an inch.
“So she’s finally letting someone between those tight legs?” Ben asked, an evil grin splitting across his perfect GQ face.
“Shut the fuck up,” Ryder snarled between clinched teeth. I could feel the flexing of Ryder’s biceps under his shirt, wanting to throw a punch.
“You may have been the first but I’ll be the last,” Ben sneered. "The very last." Without a backward glance, he turned and disappeared in the crowd like an apparition.
Ryder’s fist clinched, ready to explode. When he started to push through the crowd, I knew he was going after Ben. What would follow would be bloody and leave some nasty bruises. Or worse.
Reaching out, I grabbed a handful of his shirt, stoping him.
“Ryder!”
Turning around, his cold eyes peered into my brown ones.
“Forget Ben. Stay with me,” I said softly, repeating his earlier words to me. The words I would never forget from that day in the bathroom. "Dance with me."
He threw one last glare into the crowd. I watched as the tension slowly ebbed out of him. The savage look on his face disappeared, replaced by a mask of cool indifference. Taking
my hand, he led me to the middle of the dance floor.
Putting his arms around my waist, he pulled me close. I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands. Should I rest them impersonally on his shoulders or wrap them around his neck like I wanted to? I decided to rest them on his shoulders. This was the same man who said we could only be friends.
“Did he hurt you?” he asked, moving slowly to the music.
“No. I’m…I’m okay,” I answered. But I was still shaky with fear.
“I should have been with you. I’m sorry,” he said huskily, his eyes burning down into mine.
I remembered the redhead he was flirting with. “You were busy.”
He looked at me sharply. “Hell, Maddie. You saw that girl talking to me, didn’t you? It was nothing. Trust me.”
“It’s okay, Ryder. You can do whatever you want.”
“Shit!” he said, frustrated.
I flinched at his harshness.
“Maddie, I’m doing what I want. I’m here next to you.” His hands moved to the small of my back and pulled me closer.
My heart raced as he looked down at me. Desire was evident in his eyes. I wondered if mine reflected the same.
We moved slowly to the song, swaying back and forth on the crowded dance floor. Ryder’s hands ran up my back, lightly caressing the skin exposed by the low back of my dress. Delightful shivers followed the direction of his hands.
“You said I was yours,” I said, remembering his words.
He leaned down to whisper in my ear. “You’re off limits.” His lips touched my ear, featherlight against my skin. “I feel guilty as hell for sleeping with you but I want you again, Maddie. I’ve been fighting it all day.”
My body heated with those words.
“I keep telling myself to leave you alone, that once was enough but I don’t think it will ever be enough. I need you. I need you under me. On top of me. In front of me. I just fucking need you.”
One of his hands moved to hold the back of my head. My lips parted as his mouth descended on mine, hot and urgent.