"Sorry for what I said, Heg."
As soon as I sent the mental movie to Heg, his mind changed from calm cool blue to bright, excited pink. The pink pulsated, he was so excited. I hoped he would say something so we could enjoy the moment together. I was disappointed when he just answered my spoken question.
"You didn't know any better, and I didn't know your abilities had awoken, Clem. There won't be trouble this time, but you do not want to find out what happens when you do know better and you talk about this stuff. You are really young this time, to have so much responsibility, but you must keep this secret. It directly relates to command number one from Kax:
No humans can know that dogs are aliens.
"Do you understand?"
"Yes, Heg, I understand."
I got a picture of Heg licking me on the head, and then I heard him running off.
* * *
Sitting in my new human's apartment all day was boring. I was grateful that I had a home and food and all, but I sure would have liked some toys to play with. I turned the TV on out of sheer boredom, but daytime TV is not that exciting, I've got to say. Oh, the old shows were OK, but watching all those commercials for medical treatments, scooters, and prescription drugs that had worse side effects than what they were treating was depressing! It made me feel sorry for humans. Who knew they were so frail? I turned the TV off.
I looked all over the little apartment for things to play with, but it was pretty empty and sterile. I knew better than to chew up any of my human's shoes, but my teeth were coming in and I sure missed the chew toys that my parents' human had provided. My new human's building was so new, there weren't even any mice or roaches to chase. Darn. I ran back and forth down the little hallway anyway, for exercise. I nosed the blinds aside so I could look out the windows, but there wasn't much to see from second story windows.
I had never been more bored. However, listening to all the messages being passed around by almost a thousand Kaxians within earshot kept me from being lonely.
"Berr: Ten Niques at Broash's mine."
A moment later, I heard Berr relay the message.
Finx: Cave in at Crawn's mine."
Sure enough, Finx relayed the message.
All the messages were about mining and guarding our mines from the Niques. I only spoke once, when I heard my name.
"Clem: Struck water at Fel's mine."
I relayed that one message, and then spent the rest of the day just listening to Kaxian business.
Well, I spent part of the time wondering what Heg would say to the higher-ups about my power of suggestion.
What kind of training would I get?
What duty would that prepare me to do?
Would I become a defense leader?
How, if I was stuck in this apartment?
And then I wondered what type of Kaxian duty my parents did. Were they relayers like I was now, or did they do something completely different? I prayed to Kax that they were happy and didn't miss me too much. Then, on impulse, I sent them a message.
"Banner and Queenie: your son Clem is alive and well in the apartment of a new human. He sends his love."
A little while later, I heard my name.
"Clem: your parents are well and happy to hear from you. They send their love."
* * *
Lido had dirt in his eyes. It was in his ears, too. He would never complain. Dirt in his eyes and ears meant no dirt in Skil's eyes or ears. No one that pretty should have dirt on her.
"Earth to Lido!"
"Pick up that dirt!"
"Wake up!"
Lido shook himself, and they all mock screamed at the dirt that flew off him onto them.
Lis said, "Come stand over here, Skil, so that he is at least looking toward the rest of us!"
Skil smiled and went to help Lis and Trixie pick up the dirt that Lido was throwing away from where Crash threw it as he mined the vein of jex.
Now Lido faced a new problem.
How could he move the dirt that got thrown on him without throwing it onto Skil? He concentrated so hard on only digging while Skil was away moving up the tunnel with dirt that he often threw dirt right in Lis and Trixie's faces.
"Hey! Watch it, Fatso!"
Lis started to dig dirt back at Lido, but Trixie nipped her leg to stop her.
"The tunnel is that way, Lis," Trixie said.
Lis growled at Trixie.
Trixie growled back.
Lis backed away.
"This is his fault, Trixie. Why are you mad at me?"
"Like I said, the tunnel is that way," Trixie said.
Skil sensed that everyone was getting agitated, so she tried to distract them all with news.
"Guess what?"
"Don't make us guess!"
"Just tell us, Skil!"
"All right. My humans are going to the pound this weekend to get another dog!"
"Wow!"
"I hope they don't get one of the Niques!"
"No, they need another working dog, to keep the coyotes out of our vineyard."
"Why don't they just fence the vineyard in?"
Skil looked at Lis with horror.
"Well, I know you couldn't come here to mine with us then, but really, I don't understand why they let you run off. A fence would fix that."
"Unless we just dug out like Clem did."
"Yeah, but look what happened to Clem."
"Yeah, so I am glad they can't afford to fence the vineyards."
"I guess it is cheaper to keep dogs than it is to build such a big fence."
"Yes, and we keep the birds and vermin away from the vines, too, not just the coyotes. They mostly come at night, so the humans don't miss me being gone days. The other Kaxians cover for me during the day."
"Wow, so do you know what kind of new dog your humans will get?"
"They said they're getting a male."
"Maybe they will get you a mate," Lis said.
Trixie gave Lis a scolding look.
Lis crinkled her eyebrows together in an expression of confusion in front of Trixie, but she let Skil see her sneering at Lido.
Lido lowered his head in sorrow.
Trixie nipped Lis in the rear, encouraging her to get back to work picking up dirt and moving it out of the tunnel.
Trixie moved over next to Lido and licked his shoulder.
"It only makes sense, Lido. Skil's mate would have to live with Skil at her humans' vineyard, in order to be a proper parent to her pups."
Lido howled in sadness, and then he ran out of the tunnel.
Chapter 7: Millie
The messaging system that we Kaxians copied millennia ago from the Niques is efficient and convenient. You humans know how it works, just not how vital it is:
When we urinate, we release a fluid that is scented with messages we have encrypted so that only our own team can decipher their meanings. Other Kaxians on our team pick up these messages and then reply. Niques try to cover up our messages with their own. On just one trip to the park, I can be in touch with my whole team of 20 Earthbound Kaxians.
The messaging system is dependent on the normal urinary functions of our physical dog bodies, though. We have not perfected the technology it would take to suppress the natural urinary functions of our physical bodies. We cannot turn off the messaging system when we can't get to the park.
"Bad dog!"
My new human was yelling at me and rubbing my six-month-old nose in the leakage on his bathroom floor. Never mind that he had left me alone inside his apartment for nine hours with no way of getting outside and no litter box. Yes, dogs can be trained to use litter boxes. We boy dogs just need litter boxes with high sides we can urinate against, is all.
Anyway, the stink is 100 times worse for me than it is for you, so you better believe I am just as interested in keeping it clean inside the den as you are.
I had held the urine inside for seven and a half hours, which is pretty darn good, if you ask me, and when I
absolutely had to relieve myself, I had done so in the bathroom on the tile, not on the carpet. That self-control and consideration should have counted for something, if the world were a fair place. My human should have told me I was a good boy and petted me and been glad I had done my business in an area that was easy to clean.
The whole time he was yelling at me and rubbing my nose in my mess, I had been reaching out to his mind.
Yes!
Of course I thought of suggesting that he just clean this up and forget about it. That he go get me that hamburger from the refrigerator. But I got nothing.
I couldn't get anywhere close to his mind. It was wrapped up in a red cloud of frustration that he was choosing to express as anger. The Kaxian memories told me to show him that anger was the least useful expression of frustration.
Huh?
Kax!
This human is furious with me to the point of rubbing my nose in my urine, and you are telling me to somehow show him that anger is the least useful expression of frustration?
I need a practical way out of this situation, not philosophy!
I could tell that those memories were for dealing with other Kaxians. Yes, it would be a good idea to teach others to express their frustration in physical labor and industriousness, rather than anger. However, I figured the memories were useless to me in dealing with an angry human who would just as soon smash me as hear suggestions from me.
He was that angry.
I shut up the memories.
I needed a new tactic, if I was going to come out of this alright. I was going to have to do this my way. I thought for a split second on what had worked in the past, to mollify an angry human.
I looked up at my human and made my cutest puppy dog face while also making the crying noises in the back of my throat. Those crying noises almost always melt away a human's anger, especially when we are under a year old and at our cutest. I also tapped my tail ever so slightly on the floor, between my legs.
My human's phone rang.
He looked at it, and then his voice changed to sound soft and friendly when he answered.
"Hi Millie!"
I could hear Millie through the phone.
"Hi Randy! We're almost there! See you soon!"
"OK, great! See you soon, Millie!"
I tried taking advantage of the change in his voice to reach his mind, but the red cloud of frustration was still there, thick as ever, and he still smelled like anger. This was confirmed after he finished the call.
"Ugh!"
"Now I have to clean this up, and Millie will be here any minute!"
Still making the crying noises in the back of my throat, I got out of Randy's way. I could see only bad things happening if I stayed near him. I was beginning to think suggestion wouldn't ever work on a human who was already filled with a strong emotion, especially anger.
Determined to be helpful, I positioned myself so that I could guard the door when the visitors came.
Millie had said, "We're almost there."
Perhaps being muddled up in his cloud of frustration had kept Randy from noticing that Millie was bringing someone with her. I thought he should be more on guard, but he was upset, so I figured I better be on guard for him. Humans like their pets to be helpful. They praise us for that more often than anything else, except obedience.
If Millie had come by herself, I might still be with Randy.
But no, she had to show up with one of the Niques!
Millie's little dog was a red Pomeranian who had come to one of our other mines before. He was pretty snooty, too. From his perch in her arms, he started with the insults the minute she walked in the door.
"Ha ha! Someone had an accident!"
"Ya Think?"
I knew this sarcastic comment was childish and stupid of me, but he was just so annoying and rude. He didn't stop there, either.
"Everyone knows humans can't stand the smell of the messaging system! Leave it to a Kaxian to act as if you just got off the ship yesterday!"
"Very funny, and everyone knows you Niques move in on territory that has already been claimed."
"Since when!"
"You are moving in on my territory right now! This is my human's den. You don't belong here, just as all you Niques moved in on Earth after we had already laid our claim."
"Says who!"
Ooh!
I was beginning to see my own red cloud of frustration. The memories told me he was baiting me to make me lose control so he could get me in trouble with the humans. "Calm down," the memories cautioned. "Anger is the least useful expression of frustration," they reminded me.
It was too late.
My fuse was already lit.
My puppy-self had a short fuse, too.
"Come on down from there and let's see who thinks he's so smart!"
"Nah. I'm happy where I am, thanks."
"Chicken."
"Am not!"
As fate would have it, that was when Randy decided he wanted to hold Millie's hand. To him, our insults and threats just sounded like wolves barking at each other.
"Millie, how about putting your dog on the floor for a while?"
Millie was paying more attention to us.
"All right, but I have to stay with him. It doesn't sound like he is getting along with your dog."
Randy glared at me furiously, as if it was my fault that Millie's little dog had such bad manners.
I tried to appease my human by lowering my head, tail, ears, and eyes, looking at the floor.
And then Millie addressed her dog.
"Snookems, why don't you play with the other nice doggie for Mommy, huh?"
Laughing as hard as I could, I said, "Yeah, Snookems, come play with me!"
Millie sat down on the couch and put Snookems on the floor under her legs, where he stayed and cowered. My human sat next to Millie on the couch, and the two of them proceeded to make goo goo eyes at each other.
Snookems could not leave well enough alone. He had to taunt me from his little fort under his human's legs.
"Ha ha!"
Snookems peeked out from one side of his human's legs.
I ran around the coffee table.
"You can't get me!"
He knocked a box of tissues off the coffee table and peeked out from the other side.
I ran around to the other side, but I knocked some magazines down with my tail as I hurried by. Coincidentally, they landed right in front of Snookems, blocking my way to him. I looked up at the humans to see if they noticed, but they were looking at a magazine together, pointedly trying to ignore us. Snookems still wouldn't shut up.
"And I say 'tough luck' to you Kaxians, on making the first trade claim on Planet Earth."
I should have known what caution was. I blame the six-month-old dog body. I could not keep quiet. I simply had to retort to every one of Snookems' taunts.
"Oh! Come on! You Niques are just too lazy to go explore the galaxy and find your own source of jex! And you are always hiding behind your humans while you taunt us like the babies you resemble. Come out of there, you little rat dog!"
The humans were pretty much oblivious to our argument, which after all just sounded to them like two dogs barking at each other, until Snookems started lying.
"Help! Millie, help me! This bully big dog is going to hurt me!"
"You are such a liar, calling out to your human when you know I can't..."
Millie wriggled out from under Randy's arm, picked her little Snookems up, and started in again with the baby talk.
"Ooh! Is my little Snookems scared?"
She put his nose right up to her nose, and nuzzled him like a mamma would nuzzle her pup.
"There, there, Boy."
She pet the top of his head the way a momma licks her pup.
"Mommy will protect you."
I was right in the middle of growling out what a chicken Snookems was when Randy grabbed me by the collar, pulled me into the kitchen,
and grabbed a frying pan to hit me with.
"Nooooo!" Millie screamed.
She ran in to stop Randy from hurting me.
He said, "This mutt is going straight to the pound! I only got him so your Snookems would have someone to play with. It looks like he has no idea how to play nice with others!"
"I'll take him," Millie said, "I'll take him right now."
"Nooooooooo, don't go!"
Randy said this in a whiny voice that hurt my ears. I put my paws over my ears and looked over at Snookems. His paws were over his ears, too. We winced together, commiserating at our aching ears. Randy didn't notice, in fact he whined even more.
"We can put him in the bedroooooooom and..."
"I am not leaving that poor animal alone with you, Randy Loosk! I don't even like big dogs, but I care more about him than you do, and supposedly he's your dog!"
'Yeah,' I thought, 'what she said!'
* * *
Skil took her turn getting dirt thrown on her for the first time since she met Lido. It wasn't so bad. He hadn't needed to go out of his way to protect her from it. Still, she wished he were here, just so she could see him and hear his voice. She threw the dirt extra hard whenever she was passing it to Lis.
Trixie felt bad for Skil, but she had to be the grown-up here.
"I miss Lido, too, Skil, but let's not make our job more difficult than it has to be. Try and keep your dirt pile neat."
"Yes, Ma'am."
Skil shuddered over her memories of the messages in the relay after Lido had run off yesterday.
"Lido is over in the west district."
"Tell him to get his behind back to Heg's mining site!"
"Niques in the west district!"
"Lido chased the Niques from the west district!"
"Lido was picked up by the dog catcher."
Chapter 8: Big Dog Room
I spent that night in one of the thirty five-by-ten chain-link kennels in the big-dog room at the pound, hoping I wouldn't have to start out in yet another body in the next couple days. Being a puppy is hard work.
At least I was with a bunch of fellow Kaxians. All thirty kennels were full. I had plenty of company. In most ways, I liked being in the pound more than I liked being abandoned.
"Hey, Clem!"
"Aw, they got you, too, Lido?"
"Yeah."
Like everyone else in the room, I needed to convince a human to adopt me and take me home with him or her. I was up against some formidable competition from fellow Kaxians: a dozen ‘pet-me's and ten ‘go-get-it’s, both types that are perennially popular with the humans.
Like I said before, I am mostly a Queensland Heeler this time around. It's not the cutest breed of dog, and that is what you want to be if you are competing for the attention of the limited number of humans who come into the pound to adopt pet dogs. It might seem like we would all want to be out in the wild, hunting for our food and doing whatever we want. Well, I had a chance to do that, and aside from that weird dream I had about the she-wolf, it was not at all appealing. It just seemed lonely.