Why did she suddenly feel so alone, so miserably unhappy? She’d suffered through the deaths of sea mammals before. Some she could save, many she couldn’t.
Still, it frustrated her to lose any of them. She pulled off her examination gloves and mask, then went upstairs to her apartment and showered. After two glasses of wine she was still unsettled, anxiety keeping her energy level too high to even think about sleeping. She threw on a jacket, grabbed a blanket and headed to the beach.
The moon cast a silver glow over the ocean, the whitecaps sparkling like blue diamonds.
The cool night air wrapped itself around her, but she hardly felt the chill. She stared out over the water, feeling helpless against the mystery of the dolphins’ disease.
Every time one of the sweet creatures died, a little of her died along with them.
She could no more stop the tears rolling down her cheeks than she could stem the tide from coming in each day.
Mourning the way she couldn’t in front of everyone earlier, she let loose of the sorrow that had gripped her since she first sighted the floating dolphin. Her shoulders slumped and she buried her chin against her chest, grieving for the magnificent creature who would never again skip gaily over the ocean’s crests, who would never chirp with joy or dance about on its tail.
* * * * *
Trey stood at the sidewalk, watching Jaz’s shoulders heave with what he knew had to be crying.
Pain knifed through him. Pain at the loss of one of his friends. Lednor had been one of Oceana’s oldest dolphins, but despite his advanced age, he didn’t deserve to die this way, stripped of even the barest decency and being cut open for examination.
The scientist in him knew that the necropsy would be beneficial. The Oceanic in him railed at the injustice of being held at the mercy of the land humans’ rituals.
And yet he’d stood mutely by, even assisting Jaz while she sliced into one of his best friends. Because he knew they might learn something.
Tonight he’d sat at the edge of the aquarium with the other dolphins. Their grief was palpable, their illness only making it worse. Dane did what he could to help them, to be there for them, and for that Trey was grateful.
Didn’t matter anyway. Nothing anyone said or did would take away the pain of the loss of one of their own.
Trey heaved a sigh, frustrated and feeling more miserably powerless than he ever had before. What made it worse was knowing he’d been wrong about Jasmine. She cared, truly cared for the dolphins, more so than she let on. She may have professionally carried out her job today, but she’d been struck hard by Lednor’s death. Almost as hard as he’d been, and she didn’t even know his dolphin friend.
And now she sat alone in the sand, the cool night air whipping around her, and sobbed out her grief.
Despite his need to keep his distance from her, he could no more turn his back on a land human in pain than he could on his own kind. It didn’t matter that it was Jaz, only that she was hurting. She really didn’t matter to him on a personal level.
Right. And neither had Lednor. Sometimes he was amazed at his ability to rationalize his feelings, to discount them as if they didn’t matter, as if people didn’t matter.
He stepped off the walkway and into the sand, stopping at her back. Her sniffles stabbed at him, making him want to draw her against him and hold her until she hurt no more.
“It’s cold out here,” he finally said, at a loss for any words that would offer her comfort.
She turned and glanced up at him, swiping at the tears that had left tracks on her cheeks. She sniffed and looked away, staring at the water. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“You have a blanket.”
“I’m not cold.”
He sat on the sand next to her, taking the blanket and wrapping it around her shoulders. She shivered so hard her teeth chattered.
“What do you want, Trey?”
“I don’t want anything.”
When he offered her a handkerchief, she mumbled her thanks. “Then why are you here?”
He gazed out over the waters of his home, unable to bear her red-rimmed eyes and tear-streaked face. Her pain swept through him. He felt her anguish, her rage at being unable to stop the ravages of the disease. “Maybe I just needed to sit out here, too Makes me feel close to them.”
“To the dolphins?”
“Yeah.”
She nodded. “Sometimes I wish I could just dive down there, live among the creatures of the sea, be one of them.”
For a fraction of a second, his heart stopped beating. “Why?”
“Because I love it. I’ve always loved the ocean. The colors, the creatures, the complete feeling of weightlessness and a freedom like nothing I could ever experience here.”
All the things he loved most about Oceana. All the things Leelia hated. “You’d get tired of it.”
“Wanna bet? I was practically born with my feet in the water. My parents were marine photographers. I was swimming in the ocean before I could even walk. And I’ve never felt more at peace, more complete, than when I’m diving.”
Shit. He didn’t want her to love the ocean, didn’t want her to have dreams about living there. She was a land human, and land was where she belonged.
“What about you?” she asked. “What about the ocean compels you?”
He chose his words carefully. “There’s a beauty down there incomparable to anything on land. Clear, pristine, visions like nothing I’ve seen anywhere else. It’s a quiet peacefulness that relaxes my mind and makes me feel a part of the great undersea universe.”
When she didn’t answer, he turned to her. Her eyes filled again with tears.
“I had no idea you felt that way,” she said, sniffling.
Oh, hell. He should learn to keep his mouth shut. “It’s nice down there. And people don’t bug me.”
Then she giggled, something he hadn’t expected. “I agree. I’d prefer to spend all my time with dolphins and the other sea creatures. I’m not much of a people person. At least that’s what I’ve been told.”
They were more alike than Trey wanted to acknowledge.
“I should have saved him,” she added.
“Who?”
“The dolphin who died today. I wasn’t focused on my work like I should have been. I should have worked harder, faster, done something to make sure that we saved them all.”
The tremble in her voice told him the tears had begun to flow again. “What could you do? You’re only one person, Jaz. Even you can’t save them all.” And neither could he, much as he hated to admit it.
“I know the answer is staring me right in the face and I just can’t see it. I have to get back to work.”
She moved to stand, but Trey grabbed her arm and kept her seated. “You’re exhausted. It’s been a rough day for everyone.”
“I’m fine.” She tugged at his hand, but he wouldn’t let her loose. “Let me go, Trey.”
“No.”
He wanted to think it was because she’d make a mistake if she went back to work in her emotional state. He wanted to think it was because he cared for the dolphins and didn’t want her to miss a vital clue.
He wanted to think he didn’t care about her.
But that was a lie.
“Stay here with me, Jaz.”
“Why?”
Good question. He knew the answer, but didn’t want to lend it a voice. Yet he couldn’t help the words that spilled. “Let me make love to you tonight.”
Her eyes widened, her lashes spiked with the moisture of her tears. “Wh…What? Here? Now?”
“Yes. Maybe we both need a little comfort tonight. Maybe it’s lame, I don’t know. I just need to hold someone in my arms.”
“Someone?” she asked.
He closed his eyes for a second, realizing he was doing this all wrong. And reminding himself that this was a huge mistake. They were a mistake.
But he couldn’t stay away from her.
He opened his eyes and met her
curious, teary gaze. “No. Not someone. You. I need you, Jasmine.”
Jaz stared at Trey, not sure how to respond. His suggestion to make love was the last thing she thought she’d hear from him after the last time they’d been intimate. He’d made it clear he didn’t want anything more to do with her.
She shouldn’t trust him. He’d crushed her earlier, treated her like dirt, fucked her and then left her without a word. She should spit in his face and walk away.
A small part of her really wanted to do that. She still hurt over his callous abandonment of her the other night. She should get up right now and walk away.
But she didn’t. For some reason, his pain emanated from his body to hers, maybe even from his soul to hers.
She didn’t want to believe they had that kind of connection. She wanted to hate him.
She couldn’t hate him.
Despite her reservations, she was touched. Beyond touched. Stunned was more like it. Of all nights for him to tell her he needed her, that he wanted to be with her, tonight was perfect.
Perfect, and all wrong.
She shouldn’t be with him. Not after what happened the other night. What guarantee did she have that he wouldn’t use her again, then discard her as callously as he had then?
Yet, somewhere from deep inside she knew he wouldn’t do that. That this time, it would be different.
Besides, she desperately needed to hold on to someone, to feel alive, to feel those sparks that come from touching and being touched by someone you desire.
No, not someone. Trey.
Trey, who’d cruelly walked out on her after their lovemaking in the lab, who she was convinced didn’t care one whit about her. And yet, there was a tortured soul buried deep inside him that she’d at first refused to recognize, that he hid well behind a mask of indifference. Now she saw it very clearly. Or maybe just felt it.
As if on cue, the wind died down, leaving a peaceful calm in its wake. Her body warmed at the thought of being in Trey’s arms again.
Pushing her hesitation away, she reached for him.
Chapter Nine
Jaz caressed Trey’s cheek, intent on running her fingers through his dark hair. Instead, he pulled her onto his lap and settled her against his chest. Her knees brushed the sand as she straddled his legs.
The position was warm and comfortable. Her body fired to life and the chill left her bones, replaced by a heat that began deep inside her. A spark of desire flamed that had nothing to do with having body contact with just any man at this given point in time, but a man who for some reason she’d bonded with.
He wrapped his arms tighter around her, then simply held her close. She laid her head on his shoulders and took comfort from his powerful strength, his arms tightening against her back. She closed her eyes and listened to the waves crashing against the shore, felt Trey’s heart beat rhythmically against her breast, listened to his even breathing as it ruffled her hair.
For the first time in as long as she could remember, she didn’t feel alone.
Trey held her for what seemed like an eternity. All the stress she’d bottled up inside left her body. She grew hotter with every light caress of his hands along her back.
When he leaned back, cupped her face between his palms and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, she melted into a puddle. His gentleness was unexpected. Where she thought he’d want hot, unbridled passion, he surprised her by giving her feather-light kisses and tender caresses.
Would she ever be able to figure him out? Did she even want to?
Trey stood and pulled her up, then spread the blanket beneath them. He dropped to his knees and drew her down with him, pressing her onto her back and covering her body with his. The heat emanating from him kept her warm. Quite warm, in fact.
She couldn’t read his eyes in the darkness, but she felt the tension in his body. That taut, coiled holding back, as if he was physically preventing himself from doing something.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Not a damn thing. Just looking at you.”
Looking at her made his muscles bunch up in knots? “And?”
“You’re beautiful. Sometimes I forget to breathe when I look at you.”
Oh, that was so unfair. And she thought she had no more tears to shed.
“You don’t have to say that.” Clearly, he was being kind, complimenting her because he thought she was hurting. That’s what men did, even though they did it without really feeling it.
“I don’t say things I don’t mean, Jaz. Trust me when I tell you that you’re beautiful.” As if to prove it, he ran his hands over her surely messy hair, pulling the elastic ponytail holder out and fanning her hair out on the blanket.
She looked like hell, she knew it.
“I’d love to see what your hair looks like in the water.”
“It looks wet.”
He chuckled, deep and low. She felt it inside her, deep and low.
“I’ll bet it spreads out like a fast moving fire. Your hair is like a wild blaze, Jasmine. And so soft it slides like water through my fingers.”
She sucked in a breath when he tangled his fingers in her hair.
“I wonder how you’d like it if I turned you over on your knees and wound all this beautiful hair around my fist, then yanked it as I fucked you from behind.”
Wet heat spread between her legs at his words, images of the two of them fucking fast and furious spiraling through her mind. She’d never had wild sex, only…regular sex. But she’d already had a preview of the fact that there was nothing regular about Trey.
“Would you like that?” he asked again.
His gaze bored into hers, holding her captive. A willing captive, because there was nowhere else she’d rather be right now. “I might. I don’t know. I’ve never been…that is, I’m not the type…”
“You’ve never had hot, passionate sex before?” He crooked a smile as if he didn’t believe her.
“No. I haven’t. Well, a couple days ago in the lab.”
“Really? That was the first time you’ve been out of control?”
He thought she’d been wild? “Yes.”
“And did you like it?”
He still had hold of her hair, slowly winding it around in circles over his fingers.
“Yes.”
“Wanna do it again?”
“In the lab?”
He laughed. “No. Hot and passionate, like the other night.”
She wanted to ask him if he’d jump up and leave her again like he did the other night, but her courage failed her. Besides, she didn’t want him to think she really cared one way or the other.
Anyway, it didn’t matter. Here and now was what mattered and she wanted him. She didn’t want to think about anything else.
“Yes, Trey. I want it like the other night.”
He slid his arms around her back and pulled her tightly against him, crushing his mouth to hers. He plundered her lips, searching and finding her tongue.
His hands were everywhere, pulling at her clothes and yanking them off. In minutes she was naked, the cool night air raising goosebumps over her skin.
Trey closed his eyes for a moment, and in that moment the chilled night air dissipated, leaving only warmth in its wake.
She should be shivering out here in the cold. Yet she wasn’t. Her body burned from a fire deep within.
When Trey stood and undressed, her breathing quickened. With every drop of clothing onto the blanket, her body flamed hotter. His erection jutted out as if reaching for her. A sudden desire overwhelmed her as she gazed at his shaft. She wanted to suck him until he spilled his hot come down her throat.
And she’d never wanted to do that before, with any other man.
She raised up onto her knees and reached for him. “Don’t. Not yet.”
He paused and arched a brow. “What do you want, Jaz?”
“This.” She bent forward and took his shaft in her hand, softly stroking the length until droplets of moisture appeare
d at the tip. She licked them off, surprised at his salty sweet flavor. “You taste good, Trey.”
With a groan, he tilted his head back and tangled his fingers in her hair, encouraging her to continue. She continued to caress him lightly, fascinated by his body’s reaction to her touch. His cock hardened considerably under her fingers, pulsing and emitting more of the clear liquid that she eagerly licked away.
When she placed her lips around the head of his penis he sucked in a breath, his body tensing. She slowly slid her mouth down around his cock, inch by delectable inch, until she’d taken in as much of him as she could. Then she moved back, watching her saliva glisten on the ridges of his shaft as she withdrew.
In short order, she discovered a rhythm that he seemed to like. Slow, then rapid sucks up and down, all the time keeping her hand on him and stroking him as she sucked. She remembered the feel of his mouth on her pussy and wondered if she gave him the same kind of pleasure he’d given her.
From the sounds he made and the way his hips arched towards her mouth, she must be pleasing him. A power filled her as she realized that she could pleasure a man, something she’d never thought she could do. Her few forays into sex previously had been fast, uneventful and completely unsatisfying. The men she’d been with hadn’t taken the time to engage in extended foreplay.
But Trey seemed to love it. Not only did he enjoy receiving pleasure, he sure as hell knew how to give it.
“That’s good baby,” he said, panting. “Like that. Faster.”
His commands thrilled her and she complied, taking him rapidly between her lips and sliding her mouth over the length of his cock until his fingers dug into her hair and he pulled away.
“No more,” he gasped, “or I’ll come in your mouth.”
Wasn’t that the idea? “Go ahead.”
He dropped to his knees, his eyes dark with passion. “Some other time. Now I want to fuck you.”
Jaz could barely catch a breath before he’d flipped her over onto her stomach and said, “Get on your hands and knees.”
His harsh command shivered through her, wetting her and readying her for him. She should hate that he ordered her, and yet she didn’t. How could she know she would delight in taking a submissive role to his dominance? Hell, he knew more about what excited her than she did!