“What you did was very wrong, Sydney. I think you understand that.”
Sydney’s head came away from his teacher’s shoulder. “It was a sin, a big sin?”
“Yes, you did sin. We all sin.”
“Not you,” Sydney spoke vehemently.
“Yes, I do, Sydney. The Bible says that all sin,” she told him gently.
“So you’re afraid of going to hell too?” Sydney’s voice was full of wonder, and Marcail almost smiled.
“No, Sydney, I’m not,” she continued with complete assurance. “You see, God has made a way for us to come to Him. Jesus Christ is the way. When we believe Jesus died to save us from sin, He comes to live inside of us. Then when we die, because of our belief in Him we’ll go to heaven and live forever with God.
“So you see, Sydney, even though I sin, God has provided the gift of His Son to save me, and I’ve accepted that gift.” Marcail hesitated, afraid that she might turn him away forever, but her next words had to be said.
“I don’t think you’ve ever accepted God’s gift of salvation, Sydney, and I’m afraid that without Jesus Christ, you’ll never change. Each time something has happened, you’ve told me it will never happen again. But it does. God can change you, Sydney. He can help you control your temper and change the way you treat other people.”
Marcail fell silent then, allowing her young student to absorb all she’d said. It seemed he wouldn’t say anything, but he suddenly turned to Alex.
“I’ve hated you at times, and that’s a sin, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it is,” Alex told him, his voice noncondemning. “But what Mrs. Montgomery was telling you is true—we all sin.” Alex opened his Bible to the book of 1 John.
“You see right here in the first chapter, verse 8, it reads, ‘If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.’ But then if you turn back to the Gospel of John, chapter 3 verse 36,” Alex held the Bible so Sydney could read along with him, “it says, ‘He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life; and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abideth on him.’
“You can believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and let Him make the needed changes in your life, as Mrs. Montgomery and I have. God is waiting for you to take the gift that He offers. Believe on Christ with your whole heart, and then learn to live God’s way.”
Alex’s voice was kindness itself, and Sydney couldn’t help but respond to the tenderness he saw there.
“And you think God would really want to give the gift to me, even though I’ve hated a lot of people?”
“Hate is a serious thing,” Alex told him. “There is a man in the Bible named Saul who hated people so much that he had them killed. Then one day Saul learned that what he was doing was wrong, and he let Jesus Christ come into his heart. God changed his name to Paul and turned his life completely around.”
“Would I have to change my name?”
“No,” Marcail smiled as she answered. “But if you let Him, God can change your life.”
“That’s what I want,” Sydney said after a moment, “but I’m not really certain—” He hesitated, and Marcail stepped in.
“I accepted God’s gift when I was just a little girl. My father prayed with me, and I said something like this, ‘Dear Father in heaven, I believe You sent Your Son to die for my sins, and right now I ask You to come into my life—take away my sins and live in me.’ My father went on to explain that this didn’t mean I would never sin again, but that God would never leave me, and when I did sin, all I needed to do was confess and turn away from those sins to be right with Him.”
“Can I pray now?”
“You certainly can. If you want to pray out loud, I can help you, or you can pray silently in your heart.”
Sydney opted for silent prayer, and both Marcail and Alex bowed their heads as he prayed. Sydney was done first, having told God he was sorry for his sin and that he wanted Jesus Christ to live in him. He then sat looking at his teacher until she raised her head.
He loved Mrs. Montgomery more than he had ever loved anyone else on the earth. When she’d first started talking about his need to believe in Christ, he thought he’d better do it in order to really prove to her how sorry he was for tripping her.
Then Dr. Montgomery had shown him the verses right out of the Bible, and Sydney had suddenly really wanted to know Christ. The verses he read gave him hope, more hope than he would have believed possible. And with this new hope burgeoning within him, it was very easy to sit quietly and wait for his teacher to open her eyes.
Marcail kept her head bent for some time, praying that Sydney’s decision had been real, and not just something done to please her. She honestly saw no other way for him to become a sound, well-adjusted adult. Marcail trusted in God to change him, especially since his home life was so lacking in proper discipline. Sydney needed someone to answer to, and who more perfect than a loving heavenly Father.
Marcail asked God to become very real to Sydney in the weeks to come, so that even though he now had someone to answer to, he would understand that God was the most loving father any boy could want.
When Marcail finally raised her head, she found Sydney smiling at her. Marcail held her arms out once again, and this time there were no words of apology or regret, just genuine love between two of God’s children.
forty-eight
In the days and weeks that followed, Marcail saw that Sydney’s conversion had been genuine. She learned in the first week that her speculation over why he had tripped her had been correct. But his remorse over the incident was sincere, and the changes in him proved it.
Marcail was not certain what he said to his grandmother, but nearly every afternoon the Duckworth carriage was late. He would stay after school to talk, ask questions about the Bible, or recite the latest verse he was memorizing.
Life in the classroom was not without its flaws, but Marcail was thrilled with the new Sydney. In fact, the entire class responded positively to the changes they saw in him. Marcail shared privately with the children she knew were praying for her and for Sydney. They continued their prayers, only this time they prayed that Sydney would grow in the Lord.
The weather was improving, and the class was now able to spend extra time out of doors, working on everything from nature projects to their spelling lessons. The end of the year was drawing to a close at an alarming rate. Even though Marcail was very pleased with the year, a dark shadow lay over her heart. It seemed the closer she and Sydney became, the further Alex and she moved apart.
He no longer took her home since the weather was so warm. In fact some mornings when Alex had to be out the door very early, she walked to school. This was really not a problem, but the most evident change in their relationship was the fact that he stopped touching her.
As they rode Kelsey, his touch was an impersonal one. He no longer kissed her goodbye or even walked her inside the schoolhouse once they arrived. At one time, Marcail would have said she preferred it this way, but she was discovering with heartrending clarity that she missed her husband’s touch.
He was never rude or short-tempered with her, but along with his touch, the fun, light teasing he’d always lavished on her had also left their marriage. Much of the time he was busy at the office, but even when they did spend time together, it was like living with a polite stranger. Marcail would have been surprised to learn that Alex would have described her the same way.
Something had died inside of Alex when he found his wife so severely injured and knew that if it had been up to her she would never have told him. He had really believed they’d come a long way, but it seemed all feelings of love and trust had been on his part.
He tried to understand how shocked and upset she’d been after the fall, but her reserved attitude toward him continued even after Sydney had come to the Lord. At a time when he thought she would be walking on a cloud, she was as aloof and cold to him as when they’d talked months before on the road to the
schoolhouse. Both husband and wife needed a good dose of togetherness, with no patient or student interruptions.
The last day of school was only two weeks away when Marcail decided she needed to remind Alex that she was going to Santa Rosa. If things had been warmer between them, she would also have reminded him that he had planned to accompany her. Now, however, her pride had come to the fore, and she told herself she wasn’t going to beg him to do something he didn’t want to do. It never once occurred to her not to go, or to wait until he brought the subject up.
They were having a rare evening alone when Marcail finally filled him in on her plans. Alex didn’t say much from his place on a living room chair. He nodded quietly as she spoke, until she told him she wouldn’t be back until the end of June.
“The end of June?”
“That’s right.” Marcail’s chin raised slightly. “I haven’t seen my family since Christmas, and with school out, there is really no reason for me to stay here all summer.”
If she had slapped Alex in the face, she couldn’t have hurt him more. Marcail hadn’t meant it the way it sounded, and had it not been for the brief expression of pain she saw in his eyes, she wouldn’t have said a word. But she had seen Alex’s look of hurt, however brief, and decided to remind him that he’d planned to go.
“I thought maybe you’d come with me.” Her voice was hesitant.
“I can’t be gone an entire month,” he told her softly.
“Then maybe you could come for half the time.” Marcail wasn’t sure why she said that after she’d told herself she wasn’t going to beg.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t mind my going along?” Alex was feeling too vulnerable to agree straight out-of-hand.
“I know my family wants to meet you.” Marcail evaded the question neatly.
So that’s why I’m going—to meet your family, Alex thought to himself. At the same time he knew someone was going to have to bend in this cold war in which they were now engaged. He was desperate enough at the moment to be that someone.
“All right; I’ll stay for two weeks. When did you plan on leaving?”
“Saturday, a week from today. The day after school is out.”
Alex nodded again and went back to the book in his lap. Marcail’s eyes dropped to her school lesson, but she stared sightlessly at the page. The only thing she could see right then was her room at Kaitlin and Rigg’s. It sat at the bottom of the stairs and sported one double bed.
forty-nine
It was a very silent couple that boarded the train for Santa Rosa on Saturday, June 4. Kelsey had been delivered to the livery, and Alex had arranged to have the local veterinarian cover for him. It wasn’t the same as having a doctor on call, but none of Alex’s female patients were expecting, and having the elderly Dr. Crow on hand was better than nothing.
Marcail sat by the window, and Alex took the aisle seat. There was little conversation between them for the first 15 miles, until a sudden shifting of the car caused Marcail to fall into Alex’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” she said as she righted herself in the seat.
“I don’t mind. I’m still getting used to the fact that you don’t sleep on the train.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Linette never lasted more than two miles.”
Marcail looked into his face as he spoke and suddenly realized how much she missed his talking with her.
“You never talk about her; is it very hard for you?”
“It was at first,” Alex admitted, not understanding just yet that this was Marcail’s way of trying to open the door that had been shut between them for so many weeks. “It’s been four years, however, and time does heal.”
“You grew up together, didn’t you?” Marcail tried again when it seemed Alex would not go on.
“Yes. My folks have told me we were inseparable from the first time we laid eyes on each other. I don’t know if we should have been married, but we were.” Again Alex hesitated.
“Why do you say that?” Marcail was surprised.
“Oh, I didn’t really mean it the way it sounded, but we were such good friends. As kids I’d always been her champion, and we could talk about anything, even argue, and still walk away as friends.
“But then later our friendship made our marriage difficult. I think I must have been more like a big brother to Linette than a husband. She always believed it was my job to make her happy. She came to depend on me so heavily that when she became miserable living in Willits it put quite a strain on our marriage.”
“Why didn’t she like Willits?” Marcail wasn’t certain that any of this was her business, but Alex was really talking to her for the first time since she’d fallen down the schoolhouse steps, and she desperately wanted him to continue.
“It wasn’t Willits specifically—that was the problem. Linette never wanted to live away from Fort Bragg. She couldn’t seem to grasp that Fort Bragg already had two doctors and I needed to go elsewhere. I was thankful we were able to be as close as we were, but it wasn’t good enough for her.” Alex paused, his eyes staring out the window at nothing. Some of the pain flooded back to him.
“How did she die?” Marcail couldn’t keep from asking.
“The actual cause of death was a head injury when she fell from a chair, but the fall, or rather the weakness that brought her off the chair, was caused by tuberculosis. In the mid to late stages of tuberculosis, patients run fevers in the afternoon and evenings, and Linette was trying to do too much when she wasn’t up to it. I think she must have become a bit dizzy while on that chair, or possibly fainted.”
Sharing absently about his past without really looking at his wife, Alex now turned to find that Marcail had gone very pale. She also looked tremendously grief-stricken, more grief-stricken than she should have been for a woman she didn’t even know.
“What is it, Marcail? What did I say?”
“My mother died of tuberculosis,” she admitted softly. “It’s amazing what you can block out. I’d completely forgotten how ill she’d been every evening.”
“How old were you when she died?”
“Nine.”
Alex’s heart broke just a little at the thought. A child is so young, and so much in need of a mother, when only nine years old. Alex wanted to say something, but Marcail was ready to talk and there was no need.
“They kept her illness from us until we arrived in San Francisco. I’ll never forget the first time I saw my aunt’s house. It was huge. I’d never been away from Hawaii, and I didn’t know they made houses like that. I was terrified of it. I remember holding onto my mother’s hand with all my might as she led me inside. Her hand was so hot I thought she must be scared too.
“We had a few days of rest, but I could tell something was wrong. Katie and Sean were not as fun as they had been, and I thought maybe they were as sad about leaving Hawaii as I was. Then one night when Mother and Father put me to bed, Mother said the doctor had been to see her.
“I remember the peace I saw on her face even as she told me she was going to heaven very soon. I also remember thinking that the doctor was the most awful man on earth. I figured if he hadn’t come, then Mother would still be well. Father tried to tell me otherwise, but my mind was made up. When I saw him at the funeral, I thought he didn’t look like such a bad man, but my heart was convinced that he’d caused my mother’s death.”
“And you’ve been afraid of doctors ever since,” Alex finished for her.
Marcail could only nod. She’d never intended to tell anyone that story, but found that a burden had been lifted from her heart. She also found the touch of Alex’s arm as it slipped around her the most comforting thing she’d ever felt. Marcail snuggled unreservedly against his side, loving the clean smell of his shirt. Hope burgeoned within her that he might still care.
Neither one talked after that, which was fine with Marcail. She needed the quiet to gather her thoughts and pray about her family meeting Alex. A week ago there would
have been grave doubt in her mind, but the train ride had restored her hope. Knowing that Rigg and Katie were going to love this man she had married left her feeling suddenly lighthearted.
fifty
Marcail’s feet had barely touched the platform before Rigg swept her into his arms. She laughed as he released her and turned to hug Kaitlin. After a brief hug Katie surprised Marcail by beginning to chatter in Hawaiian. Marcail, from long habit, answered her sister in kind. Marcail looked thin to Katie, a sure sign that the younger girl had been unhappy. Katie, momentarily forgetting all the wonderful things her father had said about Alex, presumed he was to blame.
Alex stood dumbfounded as Katie spoke swiftly and Marcail answered. He felt like a fool. For months he’d believed his wife knew a simple Hawaiian lullaby because she’d been born in the Islands. Now she stood speaking fluently in a language he had no hope of understanding.
It took a moment to gather his wits and drag his eyes from his wife, and when he did, he looked over to find Rigg grinning at him.
“You’re doing better than I did. The first time I heard them go at it, my mouth nearly swung open.” Rigg, still smiling, held out his hand to his new brother-in-law. “Welcome to Santa Rosa, Alex.”
“Thank you,” Alex spoke sincerely, and then glanced again at his wife. “They’re not arguing, are they?”
“No,” Rigg told him calmly.
“Then you understand them?”
Rigg shouted with laughter. “I don’t understand a word of it, but believe me when I tell you, you’ll know if the conversation turns angry.”
Alex could only nod before glancing down beside Rigg and spotting a young girl struggling with a squirming toddler. Rigg noticed at the same time and rescued his daughter Gretchen from the terror of her little brother.
“Alex,” Rigg spoke and smiled again, “I’d like you to meet my Gretchen. Gretchen, this is your Uncle Alex.”