I woke up much more sober than usual on Sunday morning. It felt strange to open my eyes with a clear head. Normally during these drunken phases I was able to block out my toxic thoughts, but that morning everything came back. When I checked my phone, there was a text message from Emma. Ricky must have given her my number. Her daughter’s birthday party was today and she just texted me her home address with millions of smiley emoticons.
Yet again, I had forgotten that I made a promise to be there. Now this didn’t seem like a very good idea, but I couldn’t disappoint another person. She made an effort, probably slaved over decorations and food, so this was the least I could do.
After a quick shower, I pulled my tangled hair into a messy bun, put some clean clothes on and headed out. The first stop was to the toy shop. I had no idea what a little girl Emma’s daughter’s age needed, so I bought Barbie dolls, three in case she didn’t like what I had chosen for her. My chest was tight when I was paying for it. Luckily the stash of a very small emergency fund allowed me not to look like a complete dick in front of other guests.
Emma lived in Greenwich, and I had to walk half a mile from the tube station to get to her place. All the way I kept telling myself that I should turn around, that this wasn’t a good idea. My previous experience taught me that I wasn’t quite myself when I was around other mothers. My anxiety shot up when I stood in front of an old terrace house an hour later, fighting with my thoughts, trying to act like this wasn’t an issue for me. After a couple of deep breaths I forced myself to knock. I was late, but I was much more sober than I usually would be for this time of day. Maybe that was part of the problem, showing up and expecting to be treated like someone that fit in. Several moments later Ricky opened the door, holding a glass of champagne in his right hand.
“Maxine, what a treat. I wasn’t expecting to see you here today,” he said, looking good in his blue sweater and black trousers. I shoved the present into his chest.
“I was invited, but what are you doing here yourself?”
He gave me his mischievous smile.
“I was invited too. The little girl is quite adorable. Besides there are at least a dozen mothers out in the living room, very yummy mummies, if you know what I’m saying.” He winked at me. I rolled my eyes as he shut the door. A few seconds later Emma strolled through the corridor, wearing a lemon dress, a red birthday hat on her head.
“Max, oh, I’m so glad to see you. I hope you didn’t have to walk far. Come … come meet Suzi and the others. OMG, I’m so excited. I hired a proper magician, and everyone is dying to meet you. They love Ricky …”
She was still talking, dragging me through the house filled with balloons, cards and some other decorative crap. Emma’s place was decent enough. It was an old Victorian terrace house filled with a lot of clutter, funky furniture and sparkly clothes. For a split second I imagined myself in her skin, living this ordinary life and waking up happy. This whole life was tempting, but I wasn’t cut out for a life like that. I wasn’t the type of woman that needed any semblance of normality.
In the light, spacious living room a dozen pairs of human eyes landed on me as Emma began introducing me around. The kids were running up and down, screaming and giggling. All the mothers were typical homemakers, ordinary, not the high-end class like I was expecting, which was a good thing.
“So you and that handsome partner of yours are running the detective agency, right?” asked a guest called Lucy. The woman was in her mid-thirties with a bad perm and overdrawn dark eyebrows. She was on her second glass of wine and she was worried that her husband would scream about the fact that she had one too many.
“Yeah, Doomed Cases. We have run it for a few years, but only recently has the business picked up,” I explained, grabbing a glass of champagne. My head was fuzzy, and the temperature of my body was shooting up. Something else burned the back of my mind, the dooming guilt.
“Wow, that’s a very spooky name. It sounds like you’re dealing with magical stuff,” she whispered, giggling. I gave her a weak smile.
“Some of my clients can be spooky,” I admitted, hoping that she would drop the subject.
“Suzi, this is Aunt Maxine from work. She brought you Barbie dolls for your birthday,” Emma jumped in, beaming with pride. I looked down at the small blond creature that was looking at me with her huge brown eyes, holding the dolls in her tiny hands. The wave of emotions suddenly made me sick as memories flooded my head.
“I like your hair. I want to have colours like that when I’m older,” the child said, swinging her body from right to the left, staring up at my hair in amazement.
I swallowed hard, pushing myself to get a fucking grip. This wasn’t supposed to make me teary at all.
“I prefer yours. The blond curls are super awesome, like your Barbie’s hair,” I replied, most likely sounding like an idiot, but at that point I didn’t care anymore. I needed my tequila or a shotgun.
The girl grinned, mumbled something else about playing with her later, and then ran away. Emma squeezed my shoulder. She was so happy, so relaxed about everything, standing next to the person that was so damaged that she couldn’t even have a proper conversation with a five-year-old child.
“Oh, Maxine, she loves them. Thank you again for coming. All the mums love Ricky. I bet you can’t wait to have your own kids?”
I then proceeded to choke on the champagne so hard that Ricky had to come to my rescue. By that time one of the children dropped something in the kitchen and all Emma’s attention was luckily diverted away from me.
“Come on, let’s go to the garden. You need some fresh air, sugar plum,” Ricky muttered, using his own powers to stop me from getting choked up. I grabbed a few more glasses of the bubbly and drank them all in one go. The human alcohol was too weak to numb the turmoil in my heart, but at least it smoothed my crappy mood.
“Just say it; I know you want to,” I said to him once we were away from the crowd, standing under a wide tree.
Ricky rubbed his clean-shaven jaw, and drank some more. “I won’t. I know that you’re picking yourself up at your own pace,” he said. “I went to The Broken Shoe a couple of nights ago. Paul said that on Wednesday night you went home with a certain individual. The troublemaker?”
Fucking Paul and his big mouth. Why on earth did he have to say anything to Ricky?
“Yeah, I couldn’t get rid of him after I beat him in poker,” I said. “Don’t worry, he behaved and we are a team now.”
Ricky then touched my cheek and turned my face, so I couldn’t avoid looking at him.
“Maxine, are you all right with this? Being here? You should have told Emma that you were sick. You didn’t have to come,” he said. Yeah, Ricky had read me and he was simply asking me if I could handle being the other Maxine, the one with a heavy load on her shoulders.
Chapter Sixteen
“The experience of this sweet life.” ― Dante Alighieri
I stared at the empty space ahead, trying to put my answer together. Two days ago I had lost my head, and today I was standing around other people, acting like my addiction wasn’t real. Ricky wanted to make sure that I could cope. He pushed me to keep going, to keep solving cases, to live. He was supportive and I was lucky to have him; however, that didn’t stop me thinking about the moment when everything changed.
“Your Highness, I don’t think it’s a good idea. You’re vulnerable. It’s an open space and we both know that we shouldn’t be here without at least two more guards,” I said, wondering if this was the day when I was going to lose my well-paid job. Arthur was getting on my nerves, driving through narrow country roads. He woke me up early in the morning and a told me that he had to be somewhere very important. I had my own responsibilities for the day, and he had his personal driver.
It’d been a couple of weeks since I shook hands with him on the corridor in Buckingham Palace. The roller coaster ride started when he asked me to accompany him to an underground party in one of the clubs in the city sev
eral days later, when I was still trying to learn the whole protocol. I was slowly getting used to the fact that Arthur wasn’t one of the most responsible royals in the palace.
He was going on a tour to Afghanistan in a couple of months, and I had a feeling that he was hoping to have some fun before his freedom was taken away from him. Either way I was responsible for his safety and quite frankly fed up with being put in these kinds of situations. I kept ignoring the spark that sizzled between us over the past few weeks. I kept dismissing the fact that he flirted with me on any given occasion, that I enjoyed his charisma, laugh, and his impulsive character.
“Stop with the ‘Your Highness’ stuff, Max. Just call me Arthur or I swear to God, I’ll leave you here in the middle of nowhere,” he said, driving his four-by-four like a maniac.
I smiled to myself, feeling the familiar butterflies in my stomach. This was completely absurd; I had never developed a sweet spot for a client. Men, especially human men, were foreign to me. Arthur was different; he made me laugh and calmed my demonic soul; he made me forget that I was only a pathetic mongrel.
“Okay, Arthur, just turn around. We’re breaking protocol and if something happens, I’ll be in trouble,” I pressed, gently letting him know that I was in charge. This new life forced me to see things from another perspective. Maxine Brodeur was now part of the Royal Court. That other darker life was pushed aside. Now other people came first.
Arthur turned to look at me, his blue eyes drifting over my face, down my body, suddenly making my heart beat wildly in my chest. The cook and other staff in the palace kept saying that one of his second cousins, Natalie, was going to be his wife. The Queen Mother wanted to keep the bloodlines pure by keeping it in the family.
He laughed, stopped the car abruptly a moment, and placed his hand on my thigh.
“Come on, let’s go for a run, hottie. See if you can keep up with my amazing stamina,” he whispered leaning closer. His earthy cologne paralysed me for a moment. Arthur got out of the car and vanished behind the trees while I sat there in the same spot thinking about the way he touched me.
This was a very bad idea and I couldn’t predict if he was playing with my conscience or really going out for a run. His touch melted my insides, and I shouldn't feel this way about him. This was so wrong.
I started running, using my demonic abilities to track him down, worried that we might bump into someone who would recognise him. He was pumped with excitement, ready to have a real race with me. The flirting and small gifts and trips away, it was just a game, nothing else. Arthur wasn’t planning to seduce me. We were getting on and had similar interests, but that didn’t mean anything. Any scandal was unnecessary and I was enjoying myself too much to get fired after I started to adjust to my new life. On top of that, the faction kept an eye on royals, and I didn’t need to get in trouble with them too.
“Arthur, this isn’t funny. I’ll kick your arse if I catch you,” I shouted, feeling him nearby, sensing his wild excitement.
He laughed, then sped past me several meters away. He was thinking about his trip abroad in a couple of months’ time; he knew he had to pick up his training, that he wasn’t quite ready yet. I shouldn’t have been in his head, knowing that he was hard thinking about my sexy arse and toned body.
God, I really had to start blocking his emotions away. I needed to stop to regroup my energy, to tell myself that I had read him wrong. He couldn’t have been thinking about me in any sexual manner. I was no one, just his security guard.
“Gotchya!”
A split second later, the strong body knocked me down and we both fell on the ground. I was lying flat with the future king of the United Kingdom on top of me and, oh boy, my whole soul lightened instantly.
Indeed, he was hard and I was aware of every single part of his body pressed over mine. His eyes met mine and I was lost quickly with the lust that pushed me to the edge, igniting a fire deep in the pit of my stomach.
“How are you, Flower? You should be glad that I’m not making you run further. I know that you’re quite fit as it is,” he said, with that husky, seductive voice. Heat blossomed across my cheeks, stirring around me, making tiny beads of sweat break out across my skin.
“I’m fine,” I breathed out, trying to keep still.
“Ask me anything, Maxine. This is your chance,” he added, touching my cheek.
“I don’t need to know anything. I’m here to make sure that you’re safe.”
He laughed.
“That’s why I like you, because you’re always honest, don't play any games. The other guys were always so bloody fake,” he muttered.
I waited then, not able to take my eyes off his fully kissable lips. I shook my head dispelling those hopeless thoughts and desires. The tiny voice inside urged me to stay away, tell him no. This was going to get me into so much trouble.
“Deep down, I just want to be a normal guy that can walk around the park without getting harassed by paps. The guy that wants to live his own life without other people telling him what to do,” he said, leaning over and whispering his confession in my ear. “I want to have a family, kids. A wife that won’t have to worry about getting stalked every step of the way, happy children that won’t have a mad life because of who they are.”
I liked listening to his smooth voice, his dreams. For the first time someone other than a demon had noticed me. It was never simple to build relationships with other humans, especially men. When I was with Arthur these barriers didn’t exist. He treated me as an equal.
“That’s not unreasonable. Everyone wants to feel normal,” I whispered back, not able to get my heart under control.
“And if I could have that life and choose my own wife, then I’d choose you,” he said lowering his eyes, his lashes fanning his cheeks.
His lips brushed the corner of mine. The kiss was tentative at first, but it grew hotter. I wanted to break it before this whole thing went too far, but I was lost, indulged with something beyond amazing.
Arthur’s kisses were spontaneous, warm and gentle. We were lying on the ground, tangled in each other’s arms and legs. My body stopped listening to my stupid head. Arthur cradled my face then, intensifying the pressure of his lips, and my energy sparkled to life. Within a few moments I’d forgotten about my responsibilities and continued making out with him.
The kiss ended, and when I opened my eyes, my chest kept rising and falling rapidly. Arthur’s eyes were gleaming with heat, and he wasn’t thinking about his family anymore. I could read in his thoughts that he wanted to rip my clothes off and have sex with me. He kept telling himself that it wasn’t just a playful game, that he really wanted me.
“Let’s run away together, Flower,” he suggested, keeping my chin in place so I couldn’t stop looking at him.
“Maxine, hey, are you even listening to me?” Ricky’s stern voice brought me back to the real world. Suddenly I was aware that I wasn’t in the forest anymore, but back in gloomy reality. What was the point remembering that I was happy before? The future could be bright if I could just stop dwelling on what I had lost.
I rubbed my face, staring as the children ran around in the circle. The garden needed some landscaping, but the kids didn’t seem to care. They were so excited and happy. Suzi was in the middle of the circle, bouncing and screaming.
“I’ll be fine, Ricky,” I said, clearing my throat. “You worry about me too much.”
The mums were chatting amongst themselves, watching their kids playing. Ricky didn’t need to know that my stomach was in knots, that my T-shirt was stuck to my back underneath my leather jacket. My stupid head couldn’t let go of its heavy emotional burden. I was glad when Emma called everyone for a cake. I could handle being around such a happy human for some time, but I wanted to go to the bar later, ease the pain with some tequila.
“Great, cake time, that means I can go home soon,” I said, walking over to the house with Ricky. He grabbed my elbow suddenly, stopping me from running away. His own ener
gy was at ease, connecting with mine, trying to push all my fear away. He either got laid last night or he was excited about something else.
“Max, just don’t do anything stupid. Detective Zachary is a troubled man; you don’t need that kind of burden on your shoulders right now,” he warned me, like he knew exactly what happened between me and the detective a couple nights ago. “You have to stay focused on this case and move forward.”
Ricky must have sensed that I was slipping down, losing focus again. He was like family to me and he wanted to protect me. I needed to remember that Zachary was being influenced by another demon that wanted me to lose my focus in George’s case.
“I’ll be at work tomorrow, so don’t stress. I have it all under control,” I assured him, walking back to the kitchen. Emma gave me a piece of birthday cake, telling me about her daughter’s upcoming school trip. I stayed for another half hour, making a real effort to look like I was enjoying myself, then left.
Other mums watched when Suzi hugged me, thanking me for her presents. I patted her gently on the back, pushing my discomfort away.
I didn’t know how, but I managed to lose several hours of that day, although I recalled enjoying my time with little Suzi. Later on I remembered walking through the streets of London for some time after the party until I stopped at small bistro for food. There were days when I didn’t eat much at all, especially after a heavy drinking session. That evening I was moving through a fog unable to shake off the gloomy darkness that kept drifting over me.