Read Double Fudge Page 14


  “What’s going on?” I asked Henry.

  “They’re stuck between floors,” Henry said.

  “Oh no!” the Natural Beauties cried.

  The light moved again and caught the control panel. You could see a small hand, then part of a face. It was Fudge.

  “Can’t you do something?” I asked.

  “Shush . . .” Henry said. “He’s trying to use the intercom.”

  “This is Egduf Muriel, Yelraf Rose, and Aivilo Veruschka,” Fudge said in a small voice.

  Aivilo? I thought. Then I realized Aivilo spelled backwards is “Olivia.” So it was Olivia Osterman.

  “This elevator won’t go anywhere,” Fudge said. “It won’t go up and it won’t go down. And besides that, it’s dark in here. And hot.”

  A buzz went through the group around the monitor. “Quiet, please!” Henry called. Then he pressed his TALK button. “Are you all right, Mrs. O? Can you breathe?”

  “She looks like a bird breather with her mask,” Fudge said.

  “Can you get us out of here?” Mrs. Osterman asked, very politely. “Halloween comes just once a year, you know. And who knows where I’ll be a year from now?”

  “Help is on the way,” Henry said.

  “Will it be the fire department?” Mrs. Osterman asked. “I’ve always wanted to be rescued by one of those handsome young men.”

  “They should be here any minute,” Henry said. “Along with the elevator maintenance crew.”

  “Don’t worry,” Fudge said. “We’re not hungry. We still have forty-seven candy bars to go.”

  “Yum,” Mini said and we could see him eating one.

  The Natural Beauties asked Henry if they could talk to Mini. Henry pressed his TALK button.

  “Mini . . . it’s Flora.”

  “And Fauna. We love you. Don’t be scared.”

  “He’s not scared,” Fudge said. “Nobody’s scared.”

  “We’re going to sing now,” Mrs. Osterman announced. “You can listen to our special song.” The three of them began to sing to the tune of “Frère Jacques.”

  Egduf Muriel, Egduf Muriel,

  Yelraf Rose, Yelraf Rose,

  Aivilo Veruschka . . . Aivilo Veruschka,

  Touch your nose,

  Or your toes . . .

  Word about the elevator spread through the building. Mom and Dad heard it from one of the trick-or-treaters who came to their door. They ran down all twelve flights of stairs. Howie and Eudora heard it at about the same time. Cousin Howie pushed through the crowd, which had grown. “I’ll take charge now, Henry. I’m a park ranger. I know what to do in case of emergencies.”

  “Sorry, Cousin H,” Henry said, “but in this case, I’m in charge. And I’ve turned the operation over to the fire department and the emergency elevator-maintenance team. They’re on the scene now.”

  “How long have they been trapped in the elevator?” Dad asked.

  “Close to forty minutes,” Henry said.

  “Oh . . .” Eudora moaned.

  “Water,” Mom called. “Somebody bring her a glass of water.” And she helped Eudora to a chair.

  “I want to talk to my son,” Dad said.

  “Sure thing, Mr. H.” Henry put Dad on the intercom.

  “Fudge . . . this is Dad. Talk to me, please.”

  “Hi, Dad,” Fudge said. “Aivilo taught us this game.”

  “Aivilo?” Dad said.

  “That’s ‘Olivia’ spelled backwards,” I whispered.

  “See . . . first you think up an animal,” Fudge said, describing the game to Dad. “And then you try to make the others guess which animal it is. I did panda and Mini guessed it.”

  “Sounds like a good game,” Dad said. “How is Mini?”

  “He’s resting now.” Fudge shined Mrs. Osterman’s flashlight on Mini. He was stretched out across the bench, his head in Mrs. Osterman’s lap. She was fanning him with her bird mask.

  “Fudge . . . let me talk to Mrs. Osterman,” Dad said.

  “Hello, dearie . . .” she said. “Don’t worry. We’re all right. Just a bit anxious. We’d like to be out of here.”

  “Dad . . .” Fudge said. “Guess how many candy bars Mini ate?”

  “Candy?” Cousin Howie said.

  “Seven so far,” Fudge said. “But now he has a tummy ache. That’s why he’s resting.”

  Cousin Howie grabbed the intercom. “Farley . . . no more candy. Got that?”

  But before Mini could answer, the lights in the elevator came on, and we could hear the whir of a fan.

  “Oh my . . .” Mrs. Osterman said, “that feels good.”

  Then a guy in uniform dropped into the elevator from a hatch in the ceiling. We heard a noise, and a minute later Fudge said, “We’re moving!”

  “And just in time, dearie . . .” Mrs. Osterman said. “Just in time.”

  When the elevator door opened, a handsome firefighter escorted Mrs. Osterman out, with Fudge and Mini following right behind. “Make room for Mrs. O,” Henry called and the crowd parted.

  “Well . . .” she said, “I see I didn’t miss the party after all. The party seems to be right here in the lobby!”

  As soon as she said it, you knew it was going to happen. Within minutes the neighbors were carrying food and drinks to the lobby. The trick-or-treaters followed. Mr. Reilly brought down his keyboard. The Natural Beauties ran upstairs and returned with their tap shoes.

  Mr. Willard proposed a toast. “To our heroes Olivia, Fudge, and Mini . . .”

  “You mean Aivilo, Egduf, and Yelraf?” Fudge asked.

  “Yes,” Mr. Willard said. “That’s exactly who I mean.”

  Mr. Reese said, “Here’s to their resourcefulness . . .”

  Mrs. Perez said, “And to their sense of humor . . .”

  “Three cheers for Egduf, Yelraf, and Aivilo!”

  While we were cheering, the lobby door opened, and the Tubmans came in from outside. They were dressed as the Three Bears. “What’s going on?” Sheila asked. “Did I miss something?”

  “Candy,” Mini said. “Yum!”

  You Never Know

  After Halloween the weather turned cold. The Natural Beauties had never experienced winter. Whenever I saw them they were shivering. So was Mini. Since they’d be on their way to Florida soon, Cousin Howie said it didn’t make sense to buy winter clothes. I kept thinking if they were that cold, they’d leave New York and head south before their six weeks were up. But the Natural Beauties were determined to stay in New York until the last possible moment.

  Mom and Mrs. Tubman put together a box for them. Sweaters and jackets for the kids, and winter maternity clothes for Eudora. She was growing now. You could definitely tell she was pregnant. Fudge loved putting his hands on her belly. “There’s really a baby inside?”

  “Yes,” Eudora said.

  “Just like a panda.”

  “Not quite like a panda,” Eudora said. “Panda babies are only as big as a stick of butter when they’re born. My baby will be at least six or seven pounds. You remember Tootsie when she was born, don’t you?”

  “I didn’t like her,” Fudge said.

  “But you like her now,” Eudora said.

  “Not as much as I’d like a panda.”

  “Pan-da,” Tootsie said.

  “That’s right,” Eudora said. “You’re getting to be quite a talker.”

  And she wasn’t the only one. “I can talk, too,” Mini announced to the Natural Beauties.

  “We know you can,” Flora said.

  “But you don’t have to . . .” Fauna said.

  “Because you have us,” Flora said.

  “No!” Mini shouted.

  “What do you mean?” F
auna asked him.

  “I think he means . . .” Flora began.

  “Stop!” Mini said.

  “Stop?” Fauna asked.

  “I can talk myself!”

  “Is he saying he doesn’t want us to talk for him anymore?” Flora asked.

  “Is that what you’re saying, Mini?” Fauna asked.

  “Yes.”

  “I guess he’s growing up,” Flora said.

  “I guess he’s not our baby brother anymore,” Fauna agreed, sounding sad.

  “Cheer up,” Fudge told them. “Soon you’ll have another baby in the family. It might even be a panda baby.”

  “A panda baby?” The Natural Beauties laughed.

  “You never know,” Fudge told them. “Mrs. Little had a mouse. She named him Stuart.”

  * * *

  Fudge has his first loose tooth. Bottom front. He’s planning on collecting big-time from the tooth fairy. He’s been wiggling his loose tooth for weeks. He was still wiggling it at our farewell dinner with the Howies. Mom invited Olivia Osterman, too, so the three heroes could have a reunion. But Mini was more interested in Uncle Feather than a reunion. He took off for Fudge’s room right away. I was glad to see Cousin Howie follow him.

  Once the Natural Beauties found out Olivia Osterman had been a Broadway star, they wanted to hear everything about her life on stage. “New York is a magical place,” she told them. “It’s a city where your dreams can come true. Where a girl can become a star overnight.”

  That was enough for the Natural Beauties. “Please . . . please . . . please . . .” they begged Eudora. “Can we please stay in New York? You and Daddy can go south, and we’ll come down to visit.”

  “That’s out of the question,” Eudora told them. “You belong with your family.”

  The Natural Beauties looked at Mom.

  Oh no! I thought.

  “Please, Cousin Anne,” Fauna begged. “We wouldn’t be any . . .”

  “Trouble,” Flora said.

  “No no no!” Eudora said. “That’s not what I meant.”

  But the Natural Beauties had their own ideas. “We’d help out with . . .”

  “Tootsie,” Fauna said.

  “What about me?” Fudge asked. “Don’t you want to help out with me?”

  “Sure,” Flora said. “With you, too.”

  “Girls . . .” Eudora told the Natural Beauties, “that’s enough!”

  “Enough of what?” Howie asked, returning with Mini.

  “Never mind,” Eudora said.

  Mom thanked the Natural Beauties for their kind offer. “Wasn’t that a kind offer, Warren?”

  Dad nodded but he looked worried until Mom said, “Unfortunately, girls, this isn’t the right time for us to take on any more responsibilities.”

  “Well, of course it isn’t,” Eudora said.

  “Besides,” Dad said, “winter is long and hard, and you’re not used to it.”

  “But we’d love to see snow,” the Natural Beauties said at the same time.

  “What are we talking about here?” Cousin Howie asked.

  “About college,” Dad said, thinking fast. “Maybe when Flora and Fauna are older, they can come to New York to study.”

  “And live in a dorm,” I added.

  “Yes,” Mom said, “they wouldn’t want to miss out on dorm life.”

  I bowed my head and silently gave thanks that Mom and Dad are smarter than I thought.

  “Dorm life?” Cousin Howie said. “I don’t know about that. I’ve read they have coed dorms these days.”

  “Well, we don’t have to worry about that yet, do we?” Eudora said.

  A minute later Mom announced that dinner was ready, and we took our seats at the table.

  “Let’s all join hands and give thanks,” Cousin Howie said.

  I wasn’t about to tell him I already had.

  We went around the table, taking turns. Cousin Howie gave thanks for finding his long-lost family.

  Mrs. Osterman gave thanks for an interesting life.

  The Natural Beauties gave thanks for New York.

  Mini gave thanks for Egduf, then leaned over and licked Fudge’s arm. Fudge inched away and pulled down his sleeves.

  Then it was Fudge’s turn. “I give thanks for money,” he said.

  Dad sighed. “Can you think of anything else, Fudge?”

  “Toys?” Fudge said.

  “I’ll bet there are other things you’re thankful for,” Dad said.

  “Oh, those things,” Fudge said, and he started listing all of them. “I give thanks that Uncle Feather can talk again, and that his wing is better, and that I’m smart, and Mom and Dad love me best.” He looked right at me. “Ha ha, Pete!”

  “Ha ha,” I said.

  But he still wasn’t finished. “Aaannndd . . . I give thanks for monster spray and for my teacher, William, and Grandma and Buzzy and Richie Potter . . . and . . . and . . . and . . .”

  He went on and on, but I tuned him out and thought about all the things I’m thankful for. Not that I’d say any of them out loud in front of the Howies, or anyone else. Not everything has to be announced to the world. Some things are private. I guess Fudge hasn’t learned that yet because he was still going strong, giving thanks for his favorite books, his favorite foods, even his favorite smells.

  Finally, Dad said, “Thank you, Fudge. I think we can eat now.”

  While we were eating, Cousin Howie waved his fork around and explained to Mrs. Osterman that they’d be heading for the Florida Everglades in a few days.

  “Everblades?” Fudge perked up. I’ve told him a million times it’s glades not blades, but he still doesn’t get it. He has the idea that the Howies are going to a place where nobody walks, bikes, or drives. They just blade. “Is that near Disney World?” he asked. “Because I really want to go to Disney World. I’m thinking of buying it.”

  Cousin Howie laid down his fork and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Tubby, you’ve got to bring your family down to visit. You’ve got to let me show them the real Florida, the one nature created, not Mr. Disney. We’ll do a canoe trip through the Everglades. They’ll see alligators and crocodiles.” Cousin Howie turned to Fudge. “Did you know, little fella, it’s the only place in the world where alligators and crocodiles live together?”

  “And all kinds of birds,” Fauna added.

  “We have birds in New York,” Fudge said. “We have pigeons.”

  “No offense, Fudge . . . but we’re not talking about pigeons,” Cousin Howie said. “We’re talking about flamingos and herons and spoonbills.” Cousin Howie turned to Dad. “So what do you say, Tub . . . how does Christmas in the Everglades sound?”

  “Not Christmas,” I said, quickly. “We always have Christmas in New York.”

  “Then February,” Cousin Howie suggested.

  “Not February,” I said. “I can’t leave town in February. Jimmy Fargo’s father is getting married on Valentine’s Day, and I promised I’d be there.”

  “Never say can’t, Peter,” Cousin Howie told me. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way. I’ll bet you’ve heard that before.”

  “I’ve heard it!” Fudge sang. “From Grandma.”

  “Good,” Cousin Howie said. “Then it’s settled. A family reunion in the Everglades sometime this winter. Some week when you want to get away from the ice and snow . . . the howling winds and the gray skies.”

  “Well,” Mom said. “That’s a very kind invitation, and we certainly appreciate it.”

  “It may not be this winter,” Dad said, “but you can be sure it will be some winter.”

  Yeah, I thought. Like in fifty years.

  For dessert we had brownies with ice cream. Fudge bit into a brownie, then
got this funny look on his face. He reached into his mouth and pulled something out. “Look, everybody . . .” he said, holding it up. “A chocolate-covered tooth!”

  “Put it under your pillow tonight and the tooth fairy will come,” Mrs. Osterman said. “But wash it off first.”

  When dinner was over and Dad was clearing the dessert plates, Fudge looked around and said, “Where’s my tooth? I put it right here on the table and now it’s gone. Did you take it, Dad?”

  “No,” Dad said.

  “Did you take it, Pete?”

  “No,” I said. “Why would I take your tooth?”

  “Then where is it?” Fudge asked.

  I almost said, With your missing shoe and your green marble, but I didn’t. We still haven’t found his green marble. And for all we know, his missing shoe is still riding some subway train.

  “Maybe your tooth fell onto the floor,” Mom said.

  Fudge got out of his seat and searched for it. But no luck. “It was next to my milk glass. Mini saw it, didn’t you, Mini?”

  Mini nodded.

  “Mini,” Flora said, “do you know where Fudge’s tooth is?”

  Mini nodded again.

  “Tell him where it is,” Fauna said.

  “Gone,” Mini said.

  “Gone where?” I asked.

  Mini patted his stomach.

  Cousin Howie laughed. “He’s making a joke. Isn’t that right, Farley?”

  “No,” Mini said.

  “I want my tooth,” Fudge told him. “I want it now!”

  Mini laughed and patted his stomach again.

  “What are you trying to say, Mini?” Fauna asked.

  “Egduf’s tooth.”

  “What about Egduf’s tooth?” Flora said.

  Mini climbed out of his chair and raced around the table, singing, “Yummy, yummy, yummy . . . tummy, tummy, tummy . . .”

  Fudge let out a wail. “Noooo!”

  Eudora jumped up from the table. “You didn’t really swallow Fudge’s tooth, did you, Farley?”

  Mini kept on running around the table. “It tasted like chocolate.”