“It’s almost night, when he can travel unseen. We will find out then.” Kalakos rummaged for clothing and claimed the shower first.
I didn’t mind. I was more hungry than worried about the blood and dirt. I left the alcohol alone and moved to the trays of food. There was rice, several bowls of different soups, dumplings, a dish of poached vegetables I passed to Nik, a hot pot of steaming beef, and on and on. It was less a dinner for four than a buffet for ten. I grabbed a fork and started loading up a plate. As long as it didn’t look like fried chicken feet, I scooped it up.
“Had your time to think about Grimm?”
“You couldn’t eat your grass clippings and let it go, could you?” I kept eating but with less appetite.
“I can listen and graze both,” Nik said, dry as dust, but serious too. I’d had my time to think and come to terms. And the thinking had been done. The terms, they were harder to swallow than Mr. Chen’s alcohol.
The room was too small for Robin to give us any privacy, making the assumption that he cared about anyone’s privacy. He didn’t. But this time he turned on the TV and kept drinking to give us the illusion of it. That was a first, but we were all having a bitch of a time with relatives these past two days, including one he didn’t want to talk about either. This once he understood and gave us a break.
I took another bite of something spicy and loaded with chicken. After swallowing, I used the fork to push the next bite around the small pot. “Grimm has a damn good shot of taking me out anytime he wants—he could gate circles around me and cut me to pieces, but he needs me to build the new race. The Bae.”
The puck immediately gave up pretending he wasn’t listening. “No. The Bae.”
I frowned. “‘Succubae’ or ‘succubi’ is plural for ‘succubus.’” And they sounded the same whether spelled different or not.
“Yes, that was true until copyright law came into effect and I copyrighted the word and/or syllable ‘bi’ used in any remotely sexual way, which includes a succubus. You may call them ‘Bae.’” Pronounced ‘bay.’”
“You really are a freak, aren’t you?” I considered stabbing him with my fork. It wouldn’t be the first time…or the second. “But whatever, okay. Anything if you’ll go back to watching TV.” I addressed Niko again. “He needs me to build the Bae. And he needs me cooperative.”
Which the Auphe, when they had tried this same plan over a year ago, hadn’t required. They’d had access to Tumulus, a place that would drive me insane in minutes. Frothing at the mouth or catatonic, I didn’t know, but insane enough that they could’ve either used my crazed rage or a catatonic body, posable and reactive as any other male body—but without anyone home in there.
Grimm, an assumed failure, hadn’t been taken to Tumulus. He didn’t know the way. He couldn’t get there. And if he could, he wouldn’t have known its effect on me. He probably didn’t know I’d spent two years there at the mercy of the Auphe while being trained for the big day—gating them back far enough in time to wipe out the human race.
So that was out.
No insanity equals no involuntary cooperation.
“And since the succu bae aren’t willing and I’m not willing—it ain’t happening. I don’t think he’ll try to hurt you or Promise, Robin, or Ishiah. He’s been watching me since I put down the other half-breeds in Nevah’s Landing. He knows there’s no way in hell he’d get me on his side if he did anything to you. I don’t know how many succubae he has or how many Bae offspring, but replacing the Auphe as top ruling race on the planet is going to take a long time. He can’t hold you all hostage while I help him knock up”—I let go of the fork and said it for what it really was—“while I rape succubae for a few hundred years or so.” Assuming I inherited the Auphe longevity. “Robin, Ish, and Promise would still be around, but you’d be…gone. It’s not smart or efficient and Grimm is both.”
“You think he is that much more of a threat than the Auphe? They deserved their place at the top of the evolutionary ladder when it came to predators. We were lucky, very lucky to beat them. That and you were incredibly stubborn, as usual.” Niko tapped my plate and bowl with his fork. I might not feel like eating but I couldn’t fight if I didn’t fuel the machine.
“The Auphe were cunning. Grimm is smart. He has a goddamn degree. What kind of Auphe gets a goddamn degree?” I ate some more. “The Auphe had no problem dying for their cause, bringing the good old days of murder and mayhem back. Grimm will live for his cause. If he thinks you or I are about to take off his head, he’ll gate and come back to play the game later.”
“That is troublesome.” Now Niko stopped eating, but he’d nearly finished his meal, depriving me of fork vengeance. “What do you mean by ‘game’?”
“Trying to kill each other,” I said uncomfortably. This was something new: to Nik and me. It was something I’d not felt with the pure Auphe and probably wouldn’t feel with Grimm if I hadn’t given up part of my humanity months ago to get back all of my memories and to save Nik’s life.
“I thought you said he needed you alive and cooperative, and trying to kill each other is a game?” he demanded.
“Yeah.” I speared a piece of chicken and looked at it instead of my brother. He had never looked at me with disappointment, but I didn’t want to see the first time if it came. “It’s the only game Auphe play with one another. I didn’t know before the Nevah’s Landing amnesia-fest.” I heard the rasp of Niko’s hand touching cloth and knew he was touching the tattoo through his shirt. I didn’t regret it, becoming less human and more Auphe. It’d been for Nik. Even without a single Auphe gene in me, I wouldn’t have been much of a human being if Niko hadn’t been around all my life. Mom would’ve needed a dictionary to look up the phrase “good influence.”
“But now I feel it, felt it when I saw Grimm. I want to kill the bastard because he’s Auphe, a murderer, a monster, because it’s justice, but I also want to…play.”
“If one of you kills the other, how does that help the son of a bitch’s plan?” Niko asked with an edge of confusion and of that anger he rarely showed…until Kalakos had shown up, which was yet another problem to be handled.
“If he kills me, I wasn’t good enough to be part of the Second Coming or father the new race. If I kill him, he wouldn’t be good enough either. It’s a test too. Like him siccing Janus on me is a test.” I gave up on the food. I’d eat after I showered. “But mainly it’s a game he hopes we’ll survive long enough to complete his plan.”
“You can’t think that it’s actually…”
“Fun?” The grin crawled across my face of its own volition. I tried to hold it back, but I couldn’t. “It is so much fucking fun I can hardly goddamn stand it.”
And I could see then that while I didn’t regret handing over a slice of my human pie to save Niko’s life, he did. “Shit.” I exhaled. “Ah, shit. I’m sorry. But I couldn’t let you die, Nik. I couldn’t do it.”
“I know.” He wrapped a rough arm around my neck, squeezed, and bumped his forehead lightly against mine. “I’d have done the same damn thing. It might not be the right thing for the world, but sometimes the world has to take a backseat.”
He straightened. “You’re not worried as much that Grimm will kill you; you’re worried that he’s…” He searched for the right word, Nik who knew every word, all the time. I think he didn’t want to say it.
I said it for him. “Contagious. The asshole is contagious.” I’d seen him once now and I was running down the dark road as fast as I could go, and there was no slowing down. I’d tried. Part of me was running, part of me was pushing, and part of me was trying to turn around. That last part was small now, too small to have a chance of holding its own. It was slowing me some, though. All parts of me were stubborn, large or small.
“I’m less worried about him turning Janus loose on us again than just seeing the bastard.” Ah, the hell with it. If I let this shit stop me from eating, I’d starve to death in a week, because we weren’t solving the Grimm situation
that quickly or easily. I pulled the bowl back and went to work.
“If he finds out you’re limited to three gates—two, actually—that could be much more of a problem.”
Unworthy and spoiled, crippled and useless.
I shook my head and smiled at him. A real smile, the kind I saved for the brother who’d raised me and no one else. It was completely human and completely genuine. “He won’t find out,” I lied, because how could I know? But the lie was the best thing I could give Nik. I didn’t want him blaming himself for the gates. If he hadn’t given Rafferty the okay to rewire me, limit me, I might have gone all Auphe by now, reached the bottom of the road a long time ago. Chances were high.
Besides, Nik was wrong—it wouldn’t be a problem if Grimm found out.
He’d kill me.
But Niko was also right. Sometimes with family the world takes a backseat, but sometimes it doesn’t—not when you were the family, the solution, and the problem…problems.
And when your problems are going full monster and helping create a new race to enslave or slaughter humanity…
Death solves them all.
It wouldn’t be long before Janus found us. Tonight, maybe tomorrow night. Grimm’s tests and games were nowhere close to being done. That’s why when Kalakos finished and Niko took his place in the shower, I thought it was time to wrap up the loose ends. We might not have a chance to again if Janus crushed each Vayash like a cockroach. Robin was making his way through the honey-fragrant lighter fluid cup by cup, and how he wasn’t dead or blind by the time he reached the fourth bottle, I didn’t know. There was tolerance and then there was taking to heart that embalming fluid shortage Jackie had told us about. After one last cup, he sprawled on the couch and was out. Not passed out. He was drinking the Chinese version of moonshine, but it’d take a barrel of it to knock him out. He was asleep, tired same as we all were.
Talk about your long day. Gods, monsters, minefields of metal, and too much ass-kicking to recall.
I was ready for my shower and a spot on the floor to sleep too, but first there was something I had to do. Kalakos sat on the floor by the low table—there was no room for anything larger. He crossed his legs the same as Niko always did, and helped himself to the leftover food. The bastard resembled Nik so much, they should’ve been brothers, instead of father and son. And he had saved Nik from the Cyclops.
As little as I cared about Kalakos, I did care about my brother.
Shit.
“Do you want to talk to your son?” I demanded abruptly, the last word the painful bite of tinfoil on my tongue.
“I do,” Kalakos answered simply. He hadn’t taken his first bite yet, and put down his fork.
“Okay,” I said brusquely. “I talked to Niko when we were driving to Bridgeport.” The real reason I’d insisted on separate cars. “I think I convinced him to talk to you long enough to ask you some questions.”
“I’m surprised you would do that, with all that has happened. Blood under the bridge, so to speak”—again with the similar quirk of the lips I saw daily from Nik—“but I am grateful.”
“Don’t think this means he thinks of you as his father or a human being, for that matter, although he might give you the benefit of the doubt on the last one. Niko thinks anyone is capable of change. But I’m not Niko. I know who you are. I know what you are.”
I didn’t have to have an Auphe sense of smell to scent my own kind—branded by violence. “All the apologies in the world aren’t going to change that. Even saving his life won’t change it. You’re no different from Sophia.” I smiled and it wasn’t the one I’d given Niko. This was as cold as the inside of a morgue drawer. “Funny, though, considering what you think or say you once thought of me, you’re no different than I am in the very worst of my ways.”
I, on the other hand, was different from him or our mother in the one way that counted. They had nothing in them that wasn’t tainted and completely selfish. I had Niko. I had Robin. I had Promise and Ishiah, not in the same way, but still, a way I refused to let myself believe Kalakos had, wanted, or was capable of. It was too late for him, but I’d let Niko decide for himself, and watch his back while he did.
“So if he does want to ask you something, say if he has any other brothers or sisters out there—because no other relatives would be capable of being the disappointment you are—you’d damn well better answer him. Try to manipulate him, try to get something out of him for the information and he’ll simply walk away. That’s Niko’s way.” I stood and let the blade up my sleeve fall into my hand. I flipped it, a mercury-silver pinwheel, to point at him.
“And after he does I’ll be waiting in the shadows to slit your goddamn throat. That’s my way.”
“Is that the Auphe in you speaking?” Kalakos asked, his mind on me, but his eyes on the knife.
“No, you asshole,” I snapped. “It’s the brother in me.”
I faded off toward the shower as Niko stepped out. He’d have heard the discussion. The room was too small not to. He did deserve to know if he had other brothers or sisters out there, if nothing else. I hope he stuck with the decision I’d dragged out of him in the car. If he did have any siblings, it wouldn’t make him any less my brother. Would I be jealous? Hell, yeah. But I wouldn’t begrudge him human brothers and sisters—the kind that hadn’t once freaked out and killed and eaten a raw deer in the woods.
Then again, maybe one sibling was all he thought he could handle.
I stood in the small bathroom with the door open, leaning against the frame—watching and listening. I’d meant what I’d said to Kalakos. Every word, which meant I wanted to hear every one of his.
Niko had sat on the floor in the spot I’d vacated…the other end of the table. His hair was wet but already braided. He hadn’t put on his shirt yet. He was letting his tattoo speak for him.
As he wasn’t going to start, Kalakos did. “You’re right in what you think about me. But I see you with Caliba…Cal”—he paused and chose his words carefully—“and for all that you suffered and survived with Sophia, the Auphe, protecting your brother, becoming a man almost before you had become a child. I had no such obstacles to approach anything close to that in my life, and I’m a cold man. A man without honor to his own blood, without worth. As were my father and his father—a chain of unfeeling bastards were we all. Had I taken you with me I wonder if you would be who you are today. The fact that I am…that I was such a callous bastard may have been the making of you, Niko. You who are the best man I’ve come to know.”
He linked his fingers, the light sparking off the silver ring he wore on his right hand. “I have no excuse, but I think you wouldn’t be who you are if you had learned from me. You made your own way, a better way. Had I taken you, your brother would’ve been alone with Sophia. I travel always. It was years after his birth before I knew of it. I can guess that you are the better for not being raised in my image, but I know he is the better for being raised by you.”
That was true enough and it had nothing to do with my being better or not. If I hadn’t had Niko, the Auphe plan would’ve worked. I would’ve unmade this world by sending them back. Humans would be scarce and hiding in caves now or extinct, the Auphe would rule, and those were the hard facts.
But when it came to family, facts were meaningless.
Niko stared at him, and if I were sensitive to feelings and auras and all that new age/old age bullshit, I’d say the room got colder. “Amazing how the hindsight of a saint is twenty/twenty and every word a smug explanation of how your being a bastard was the making of me and the saving of Cal.” He stood. “I would’ve liked to have known if I had other brothers, perhaps sisters, but that’s not the one thing that I wanted from you the most. I wanted what you owed me. Two words, and instead you would have me thank you for what you did and what you didn’t do.”
I shadowed out of the bathroom with the knife. Despite my threat, I didn’t think I would get to cut Kalakos’s throat. He had it coming, but Niko wou
ldn’t like it or let me. He would think it would darken the humanity I had left. I didn’t think so. If anything, as a punishment, it fell short of what his father deserved.
Kalakos took off his ring and placed it in the center of the table. “You’re right. It doesn’t make a difference if it turned out for the best or the worst. What matters is, I was wrong.” He touched the ring with the tip of his finger. “All Vayash men are given one when they become a man. My actions have shown I never became one. I was wrong, and I’m sorry. You don’t abandon your family. For any reason. Even a bastard like me should’ve known that.”
The two words Niko had wanted. Needed.
I’m sorry.
So…
Fine. I wouldn’t try to cut his throat.
Damn it.
Niko didn’t have any other brothers or sisters, I found out after I was done with my shower. I used up the tepid water until it was ice-cold and kept going until my fingers and toes were blue. It took that long to soak off the dried blood from my legs and feet, thanks to Hephaestus and his floor of militarized cheese shredders. I was rubbing antibiotic ointment on my legs and wasn’t bothering with bandages. There weren’t enough in all the first-aid kits and I wouldn’t get pants over that mummy effect.