CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I
A LEAP OF FAITH
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 31, 1995
Strangely enough, it was Halloween, and as luck would have it, Tuesday had found the note she had left for herself, and thought it was a funny reminder to go over there and do something sweet for him. She remembered that she had left the note for herself in her dream, but could not remember the reason. In the end, she felt it was best not to defy her own advice, and left the house in enough time to march down to Tuck’s Diner to see if she could procure the best chicken soup she had ever remembered having.
Megan was already at work and surprised to see her daughter, thinking that she might have had other plans. Tuesday explained to her that Jason was sick and that she needed to get some chicken soup to lift both his health and his spirits. Megan just thought that was the sweetest thing she could imagine.
“Aww, that’s so sweet of you!” Megan teased, hoping to turn her daughter’s face a glorious shade of crimson in front of her co-workers. “Though I imagine that seeing you would probably lift his spirits more than anything.”
Sure enough, Tuesday’s face went beet red, and she began to protest her mother’s teasing, “Mom, stop!” She cried out, turning away from her and everybody else in the diner. “Hurry, and get the soup, I have to be there at 1:45.”
Megan pulled some tip money out of her apron and gave it to Tuesday to pay for the soup, which she had generously heaped into a half-gallon container for the two of them to share. She placed the container into a paper bag, and threw some salt and pepper packets, some saltine crackers and a couple of plastic spoons into it. Tuesday paid for the soup, grabbed the bag from the counter and turned to leave, hoping to reach her destination on time.
“Say hello to your boyfriend for me.” Megan said, getting one last shot in before Tuesday walked out the door, however that remark did not embarrass her in the least. If anything, Tuesday was proud to be Jason’s girlfriend. She couldn’t ask for a better guy, and she wanted to demonstrate her care for him by bringing him soup to help him feel better. The whole thought of a boyfriend was still somewhat alien to her, she didn’t know exactly how she was supposed to act, or react around this boy, but she knew it was something she didn’t want to overthink.
Tuesday reached Jason’s house a few minutes early, so she knocked on the door and he came and answered it, wrapped in a blanket, his stuffy voice raising in pitch to validate his excitement. “Hi Tuesday!” Jason said as enthusiastically as he could muster. “I’m glad you’re here, I can use the company.”
“I thought you could use some companionship.” Tuesday replied, holding up the bag of goods she had brought. “And some chicken soup.”
Jason’s eyes went wide realizing that she had brought chicken soup for her. “You’re the most thoughtful girl I know.” Jason declared, anticipating the goodness that was about to come out of that bag. “Thank you, I love chicken soup!”
“You’re welcome.” Tuesday responded with a smile. He had just melted her heart with that comment about being thoughtful. She always knew that she would make somebody happy one day, but nobody in Cadence Falls was willing to give her a chance. This new boy had seemingly come out of nowhere, and in no time at all, had stolen her heart. She was certain that she had fallen completely and totally in love with him, but she didn’t want to be the first to tell him. She had seen other girls tell guys that around school and it had frightened them away, and that was the last thing she wanted to do with Jason. She wanted to make sure that he felt as she did before she told him so, but the waiting was tearing her apart. She hadn’t even kissed him yet. It always seemed as if one thing or another had kept that from happening. He was sick right now, so Tuesday didn’t see it happening in the immediate future, but she had already spent a lot of time scheming ways in her mind how to obtain that elusive first kiss.
Tuesday’s thoughts were interrupted by a boisterous sneeze that had come from Jason, which he promptly apologized for. The two of them took seats at the table in the breakfast nook, where they could sit comfortably and eat the soup provided by Tuesday. The pair joked and laughed, and Tuesday made every funny face she could to make Jason feel better. After the two of them had finished eating, they went into the living room and snuggled together on the couch watching television. Even though Jason was sick, Tuesday was in complete paradise just spending an afternoon at his home with him. His mother had errands to run and wasn’t home, so she felt that she was happy to take care of him when he wasn’t well enough to look after himself. This was the world that Tuesday one day wanted, to have somebody who comprehends her, and who she equally understands. It was perfect afternoon which lasted until his mother got home from picking up the foster kids from the elementary school. Jason’s mother seemed kind of frantic as she came into the living room.
“Did you guys hear what happened?” Lauren Alkali inquired, seeing if the two of them had any information that she didn’t have. “Principal McCauley was attacked and killed by wolves!!”
“What! When?” both Tuesday and Jason asked in complete shock and surprise.
“This afternoon at school.” Lauren replied, in disbelief of what she was saying. “It happened during a school assembly. I hope John and James didn’t have to see that.”
The next several minutes were spent discussing what little was known about the actual events, but Tuesday felt a sick feeling in her gut that it was no accident, knowing that she had something to do with it. She didn’t say much, but spent her time thinking about what her role in the attack might have been. Though she knew she had some involvement, she managed to keep a fairly good poker face, and she wished that they would just drop the topic altogether, but kept on at it, as if it were the only thing in the world that there was to discuss.
Soon, James and John arrived home, much to Lauren’s relief, but they brought new information with them that rekindled the discussion. Tuesday had heard enough, and decided that it was getting near time for her to go home because her mother would be off work soon. She pulled Jason close to her and told him that she had to leave, and that she would check on him again over the weekend. The two of them engaged in their usual embrace, and Tuesday could tell that Jason wanted more, but wasn’t about to do anything that might heap days of teasing by his family upon him. Instead, he settled for the long hug, and the two parted and went their separate ways for the night.
Tuesday walked down the driveway and noticed that it was much colder than usual outside. It was quickly becoming dark and the first flakes of snow for the season had begun to fall, drifting gently from the sky, dancing on the breeze before settling softly upon the grass. Tuesday walked home slowly, enjoying the moment, and trying to put the thought out of her mind that Principal McCauley would no longer be troubling anybody, ever again. This comforted her, and even though she knew that she had something to do with this, she felt justified for the years of misapplication he had dealt her. In her mind, the whole thing was reconciled. He had gotten what he had deserved.
When Tuesday reached her house, she could see that the lights were on, which meant that her mother was home from work. She stepped inside the door into the entry way and brushed the snow off her of her hoody, and removed it, hanging it up to dry, calling out for her mother as she did so.
“Mom, I’m home!” Tuesday called out, wondering where her mother might be. She didn’t have to look very hard to find Megan, who was sitting on the couch watching television. Tuesday bounded across the room and planted herself on the sofa, cuddled up next to her mother.
“How’d it go with Jason?” Megan questioned Tuesday with a serious tone.
“We had a great afternoon together.” Tuesday replied, trying to convince her mother that it was strictly innocent. “Until we found out that Principal McCauley died today.”
Megan’s attention turned from the television and completely piqued upon hearing this revelation. “What?! How did that happe
n?” She asked, looking to satisfy her curiosity.
“I guess he was attacked by a pack of wolves during a student rally.” Tuesday confided in her mother. “I guess they tore him to shreds, though why they would want to eat something as nasty as him is beyond my sense of reckoning.”
The two of them shared a laugh, trying to find a moment of levity in all the stress. “I can’t say I’m sad about it.” Megan confessed, placing her disdain for the man clearly on display. “He’s been so unpleasant to us both.”
“Yeah, me either.” Tuesday agreed, shaking her head. “So, how are you doing, Mom?” Tuesday said, trying to change the subject.
“I’m doing pretty good.” Megan admitted, feeling for the first time like she was fully in control of her life. “You know, kicking these drugs has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but it has been worth every minute of it.”
“What do you mean?” Tuesday asked, somewhat perplexed.
“It hasn’t been easy.” Megan began, letting out a sigh of relief. “Somedays, the withdrawals just kill me. I get sweaty and shaky, and sometimes feel just plain sick to the point that I don’t even want to get out of bed. I know that getting a fix would solve all those problems, but it isn’t worth losing everything in my life over. It’s time that I kept a promise that I made to God, that I would live a better life. He kept his end of the bargain and saved me, but I haven’t been very loyal and kept my word on this end.”
“Mom, you’re doing fine!” Tuesday said, cheering her mother on for her wonderful deeds over the last few weeks. Tuesday was nothing, if not supportive of her mother.
“I’ve wallowed in self-pity for far too long.” Megan admitted, as if she were trying to shake that image she previously had of herself. “It’s time that I discover what life is all about instead of running from it. I mean, if I had known that having such a meaningful relationship with you was a better high than any of those drugs, I would have quit years ago.
Tuesday walked to the window and looked out at the falling snow. What her mother was saying affected her greatly, and she didn’t want to interrupt her with some emotional outburst, so it was best if she turned away and let her finish pouring out her heart before she interjected something else.
“I guess for all these years, I was trying to escape my pain.” Megan sustained, sounding more sincere and hopeful than Tuesday had ever heard her be. “You know, out of all of the things that has happened in my life, it was all distractions. Everything was meant to deter me from the truth, the reality of it all. And because of that, I forgot to look right in front of me to see what I already had.”
“You know, Mom, I’m very proud of you.” Tuesday interjected, trying to demonstrate a level of empathy that she didn’t know she could tap into. “You’ve done what most people can’t do, and you’ve accomplished it in such a short time. I know that you struggle with it, and I know that it isn’t easy for you, but you’re doing a great job! You’ve taken a huge leap of faith, and it’s paid off for you, and I wish others could see the things that I see in you.”
Megan considered what her daughter was telling her, and it seemed like they were finally on the same page. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m so very sorry that I’ve been so stupid throughout the years.” Megan went on, explaining her position. “You are without a doubt, the best thing that’s ever happened in my life. No drug can compare, no man can compare, no party can compare to having a daughter like you.”
“Yeah, I couldn’t imagine having any other Mom either.” Tuesday acknowledged, tears forming in the wells of her big brown eyes. “Can you believe that together, we have helped to heal one another?
Megan nodded her head in agreement. “It’s kind of a miracle. But yeah, I guess you’re right.”
An awkward pause filled the space between them, and then mother and daughter came together, holding on to one another as if this would be the last opportunity they would ever get to do so, neither wanting to let go of the other. On that snowy night, the once impassible rift between Megan Moxley and her daughter was finally bridged, and the two of them knew that they would be unstoppable from that day on.
“I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry for everything.” Megan whispered, tears streaming down her face. “And that I love you, and I believe this is the beginning of something great and wonderful between us.”
“Yes, Mom!” Tuesday stated, sobbing uncontrollably. “I believe this is a new beginning.”
The two of them held each other a while longer, and then pulled apart long enough to realize that this was quite possibly the first time they’d both shared tears of joy together. It was a very personal moment for the two of them, something that deeply affected them for the rest of their lives. The two of them sat together on the couch, watching the snowfall through the window, holding each other until it was time for Tuesday to go to bed.
A few hours had passed, and it was time for Tuesday to go to bed. “Well, look at the time.” Megan said, realizing that the time that had slipped away was worth more to her than anything in the world. “You have an appointment with Doctor Frederiksen tomorrow morning.”
Tuesday was feeling tired after the emotional roller coaster ride she had been on for the day. “Yeah, I know.” Tuesday stated quietly, yawning wide as she stood up from the couch. “Good night, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you too.” Megan returned, a look of contentedness upon her face.
A funny little smile crossed Tuesday’s face as she plotted an autopilot course toward her room, floating on her own private cloud as she did so.
Tuesday changed into her nightgown and climbed into bed, snuggling Winston tightly as she drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t long before she found herself dreaming again, but this time she was having one of those strange dreams that she occasionally entertained.
Her dream placed her within a large crowd of people, many who were largely built and filthy dirty, staring up to a man on a mountain under a molten red sky. Black clouds of smoke and ash filled the air making it difficult to breathe, but the man on the mountain was resolute and defiant in his stand. As the haze drifted by, Tuesday realized that it wasn’t like any other mountain she’d ever seen, but appeared to be a pyramid, larger than her mind could allow her to comprehend. The world was in flames around them, with raging rivers of magma that were channeled, carrying it to different parts of the city around them. There were large structures crashed upon the surface, and to Tuesday it looked like something out of a science fiction movie.
The man on the pyramid was screaming out, addressing the people, but she could not understand their language. The crowd, which surrounded the structure, was chanting something, she didn’t know what, but it sounded like a name, “Ahh-kool-lie” What did it mean? Many times, before this, Tuesday had dreamed this very dream, but never as vivid as this. Suddenly, Tuesday’s Osprey Vision activated and zipped her up to the top of the pyramid for a better look, and she couldn’t believe what she saw. The man at the summit of the pyramid bared some resemblance to Jason’s brother John, only much older as an adult. It couldn’t be. Tuesday’s mind had played some grueling tricks on her in the past, but none as strange as this one. She wondered what the meaning of this was. Tuesday’s thought process was interrupted by the sound of a large explosion, so loud and terrifying that it jarred her loose from the dream and woke her right out of her sleep.
Tuesday trotted down to the kitchen and prepared a glass of warm milk for herself to set her mind at ease so she could go back to sleep. “What was that dream about?” Tuesday silently wondered to herself as she drank down the last of her milk, rinsed her glass and placed it into the sink, and went back to her room where she slept soundly for the remainder of the night.
II
A MOTHER’S LOVE
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 1995
When the alarm went off, Tuesday did not want to get out of her warm bed, but did so anyway. When sh
e looked outside, there was an accumulation of what appeared to be nearly seven inches of snow on the ground. She squealed with excitement, making a promise to herself that she would have to drag her mother out to play in it with her when her appointment was over. As soon as Tuesday had gotten herself dressed and ready to go, she spent the next several moments thinking about the events of the last few weeks, and how two people who caused problems in her life had died tragically. She knew that it wouldn’t be long before people began to connect the dots and point fingers at her. She felt some remorse over Jessica’s death, having a bigger picture to deal with than before, but she was still completely lost about Principal McCauley. She knew in her mind that she was involved, even if she struggled to remember the details of it. This was something she was going to have to ask Doctor Frederiksen about at their appointment later in the morning.
When Tuesday came downstairs, she had discovered that her mother had prepared bacon and black coffee for breakfast, which made Tuesday exceptionally happy. The two were in pleasant moods, had a good conversation over breakfast and made plans to go and see “Toy Story” together when it would be released a couple of weeks later. After breakfast, Tuesday went upstairs and dressed herself in the warmest ensemble she could put together. Soon, she was ready to go and have her appointment with Doctor Frederiksen.
Tuesday and Megan came out from the house and trudged their way through the snow to where the car was parked, and scraped the ice from the automobile so they could see where they were going. Once they got into the car, Megan’s shivering hands fumbled for the car keys, so they could get going. Most people in Cadence Falls did not drive in the snow, as it was a rare occurrence for them and did not possess the adequate skill to do so. This however, did not deter Megan Moxley. She had too much to do on that day to allow something like a little frozen precipitation to stop her from accomplishing her goals. When she finally persuaded the keys to cooperate with her, she slid the starter key into the ignition and turned it. Nothing happened.
“C’mon you cold blooded, piece of junk!” Megan yelled at the car, as if it would somehow hear her command and do as she needed it to. She pumped the gas a few times and the car started to turn over. A few more attempts, and the car finally started.
Megan had to rock the car into forward and reverse a few times to build up enough momentum to get past the snow in the driveway, having to restart the beast a few times in the process. Tuesday was shivering in the passenger seat, adjusting the knobs on the console in an effort to get the heat to blast out of the vents and provide the warmth she so desperately sought. When Megan finally got enough traction and reverse speed, she gunned it down the driveway, praying that another vehicle would not come sliding down the snowy road as she reached it. Fortunately for her, the road was clear as the back end of the car fishtailed its way onto the street.
Megan drove to the appointment, while Tuesday incessantly changed the channels on the radio listening to random songs and enjoying themselves, in spite of the car, which only had to be restarted four times on the way to The Millwork Tavern. The snow made for slow going, but they finally reached their destination in time for Tuesday’s appointment. Megan parked the car and went with Tuesday up to Doctor Frederiksen’s office to have a word with him.
When Tuesday and Megan reached Doctor Frederiksen’s office, Michelle greeted them with her usual lack of enthusiasm. “Hello, I’ll let Anthony know that you’re here.” She said, reaching over to buzz the intercom.
“Could you tell him that I need a word with him, Please.” Megan politely asked, hoping that Michelle would relay the message.
Michelle informed Doctor Frederiksen that his patient had arrived and that her mother needed to speak with him. A few minutes later, he emerged from the back corridor and welcomed them.
“Hello, Miss Moxley.” Doctor Frederiksen met them with a fervor that more than made up for Michelle’s lack of interest. “How are you on this cold and snowy day?”
“I’m good.” Tuesday said, her mother cutting her off before she could add anything further to the conversation.
“I need to speak with you, Doctor.” Megan stated assertively, trying to impress upon him the importance of the conversation she wished to have. “It’s very important.”
There was the slightest flash of annoyance on the face of Doctor Frederiksen, almost too quick to catch if one didn’t know what they were looking for. But Megan had caught it, and she knew that he likely had anticipated what Megan would be discussing with him, and he wasn’t going to like it.
“Very well.” Doctor Frederiksen said with a sigh. “Come on back, and we can talk.”
Doctor Frederiksen led Megan down the corridor to his office, where he opened the door and invited her to sit in a plush chair to the side of his desk. Megan sat down and made herself comfortable, and in an instant, went through a laundry list of various approaches she might take to tell the Doctor what it was she needed to say that wouldn’t end with him outsmarting her, and leaving her demands unmet.
“What can I do for you today, Megan?” Doctor Frederiksen asked, taking a seat in his chair behind his desk.
“I have some concerns about Tuesday’s therapy.” Megan opened the conversation, trying not to show a lack of confidence in her ability to defend what she believed was best for her daughter. “She’s been having these memory lapses. I don’t know if they have anything to do with the hypnosis or not, but I don’t want to take any chances. I want this to be her last session for now.”
“I do not think that is wise.” Doctor Frederiksen countered, getting right to the point. “Cutting short her time here when she has only just stepped on the road to her recovery could be damaging to her.”
Megan expected some resistance to her statement, but didn’t expect him to come out swinging with both arms. “It doesn’t matter.” Megan defended her point of view. “I don’t feel comfortable with the way she’s been acting. I’m just being cautious as a parent. I’ve only begun to make things right with her, and I’d just die if anything happened to her.”
Doctor Frederiksen turned on his concerned therapeutic voice. “I both appreciate and understand your concern for your child. You said it yourself, that you didn’t know if the hypnosis was the problem or not, and that you’re being cautious. You’re allowing your fear of loss to make an irrational decision about something that is ultimately going to help her in the long run. In my professional opinion, I think that what’s best for Tuesday is more time in therapy with me.”
“No, I don’t think so.” Megan said, placing her demands on the table and not budging from her position. “I thank you for your generosity and everything that you have done. You’ve made far more progress than anybody else has, but I think it would be best if we backed off and didn’t continue the hypnosis sessions. She needs some time and space to get her mind back together.”
Doctor Frederiksen stared at her with a look that rivaled the frigid ice outside. Megan knew that there was no way she was going to budge on the situation, and Doctor Frederiksen knew it too. Megan had recently experienced the joys of parenthood and in her awakening, she realized that it was her right and responsibility as a parent to do what is best for her child. If that meant pulling her away from therapy, then that was what had to be done. Something snapped inside of Megan that made her fiercely defend her child.
“You know, I don’t have to sit here and be badgered by you.” Megan said, raising her voice to a level that she wasn’t expecting to speak at. “Tuesday is my daughter and I think that I know what’s best for her. After today, you are done with her for a while. If new problems arise, then we may or may not return, depending on how things go today. That’s my final word on the matter.”
Doctor Frederiksen’s eyes narrow just a bit, and that icy look he gave her intensified to a degree of coldness Megan had not previously known. “You are the parent.” Doctor Frederiksen said, his stance changing to that of the v
ictim. “And you do have the final decision on this. If that is what you wish, then today will be her last session.”
Megan stood up from her chair, extending a hand of professional courtesy to Doctor Frederiksen “Thank you, Doctor. That will be all.”
For the briefest of moments, Megan eyes Doctor Frederiksen with serious suspicion as he reached out to shake her hand. Suddenly, the trust she felt for him at the school had all but disappeared, leaving fragments of doubt in its wake. It wasn’t that she completely distrusted him, her love for her daughter was a new sensation for her that she couldn’t conceive of allowing Tuesday to continue a situation that was causing her such internal turmoil.
Megan and Doctor Frederiksen released their unsteady handshake, refusing to take their eyes off one another. Megan was the first to eventually break eye contact, as she turned to walk out of the room and back to the waiting area.
When Megan returned to the sofa that her daughter was sitting on, she informed Tuesday of the nature of her conversation with Doctor Frederiksen. “Tuesday, honey.” Megan said, sweetening her voice to soften the blow of what was about to transpire. “This is going to be your last session with Doctor Frederiksen for a while. I think that we can start handling this together, just you and I.”
“But, why?” Tuesday protested, bewildered about what was going on. “We are making such good progress, except for these memory lapses.”
“That’s just it.” Megan responded, showing all the love and concern she could for her child. “I’d rather be safe than sorry, you know what I mean?”
Tuesday recognized that this was a crucial junction in their relationship, and that if she didn’t allow her mother the power to look out for her, and do what was best for her, it might send the wrong signal, and Megan would think of it as a rejection. The last thing she needed to do was to create a gap between them, and drive her back to her old habits. She would never allow that to happen again, so in that fraction of a moment, she made the choice to sacrifice her therapy sessions for the time being to give her mother the power to have confidence to make healthy decisions for the two of them.
“Yeah, I guess.” Tuesday commented, disappointment ringing in her voice. “I think I need more therapy, but I trust you to do what you think is right.”
“Excellent.” Megan said, kissing her daughter on the forehead. “Go in with the Doctor, do what you need to do. I’ve got some errands to run. I’ll be back in two hours to pick you up.”
“Okay, Mom.” Tuesday said, as she stood up to go back to her last appointment with Doctor Frederiksen. “I’ll see you when you get back. I love you.”
“I love you too!” Megan called out as Tuesday disappeared into the corridor leading to Doctor Frederiksen’s office.
Megan felt as if she was truly coming into her own as a parent, and felt some pride that she made an executive decision that she felt was in her daughter’s best interest. If the future held more days like this one, Megan had decided that she was all in. She smiled as the door closed, taking pride in what an amazing daughter she really, truly had. Megan walked out of the office, and went to where her car was parked outside The Millwork Tavern to accomplish the tasks she needed to get done, a sense of hope and purpose in her steps.
Megan unlocked her car and climbed inside of it, placing her seatbelt on. She removed her keys from her purse and started the car without a problem. She put the car in gear and drove nearly half a block, and then it died again, sending Megan into a string of expletives that would make the men at the local timber union blush.
“Stupid car.” Megan pleaded, pumping the gas pedal and attempting repeated turns of her ignition key. “Start, will you!”
After a few unsuccessful attempts, the engine finally roared to life, billowing a cloud of black smoke from the tailpipe that filled the air with its noxious odor. Keeping her dignity and composure, Megan drove off to take care of her business, looking forward to getting it done so she could use the remainder of her paycheck to take Tuesday out to dinner. It was the happiest thought that she could think of.
III
THE FINAL SESSION?
Tuesday entered Doctor Frederiksen’s office, still standing where Megan had left him, internally fuming over her decision to terminate Tuesday’s sessions. The first thing Tuesday noticed when she entered the office was that the light was significantly dimmer than it usually was, and that Doctor Frederiksen’s had long and sorrowful face, a look of disappointment. He was quick to address Tuesday, his voice cold and mechanical.
“Your mother says that she would like today to be your final session.” Doctor Frederiksen began. “Do you know why?”
Tuesday moved to take a seat in the same chair that her mother had been sitting only minutes before. “No, I don’t.” She confessed, trying to get a read on the Doctor. “I wanted to continue, but she is being very cautious about things. My memory lapses are frightening to her.”
“Tell me about those, if you would please.” The Doctor asked, digging deeper for information, moving around his desk toward his chair. “The only way we can continue, is if we can prove to your mother that we can solve this problem today.”
“I’m having problems remembering some of the dreams I’ve had.” Tuesday began, trying to pull the words she was looking for out of thin air. “I know that I’m somehow connected to recent events. I know that I’ve had dreams about them, but I can’t remember them. I see flashes of things, images. I have a pretty good handle on what happened with Jessica. Her sister filled in the blanks for me, but some things are still missing.”
“Interesting.” Doctor Frederiksen responded, taking a seat. “And what did. . .Serina, is that her name? What did she tell you?”
“Yes, Serina. She said that a gunman killed her sister and tried to kill her too.” Tuesday relayed the information to Doctor Frederiksen. “She said that some strange things happened, that a lawn chair flew up and knocked the gunman down, giving her time to escape. She also said that the doorbell rang, and upon hearing it, the gunman shot himself in the head. When she ran to the door, nobody was there. She thought it was some kind of miracle.”
“Do you believe in miracles, Miss Moxley?” Doctor Frederiksen came directly to the point. “If you do, how can you be certain you have any involvement with that incident at all? If you don’t, and you believe you’re the cause of that girl’s death, how can you prove it?”
Tuesday scratched her head, thinking about what Doctor Frederiksen was telling her. “So, either it was a miracle, or I have to prove that I had a hand in it?” Tuesday questioned him. “How can I prove it if I can’t remember it?”
“We must do that in dream therapy.” Doctor Frederiksen coached her. “You and I, together.”
“And then there’s the other occurrence.” Tuesday admitted, coming clean about how she felt regarding Principal McCauley. “I feel that I’m somehow involved with Principal McCauley’s death. I hated that man more than I’ve ever hated anybody. The circumstances of his death are too bizarre for that to be a random incident. I’m convinced that I had something to do with that, and it’s just a matter of time before somebody figures it out.”
“Yes, I heard about that on the news last night.” Doctor Frederiksen proclaimed, trying to dismiss it as a random wild animal attack. “I don’t know much about what happened, but they said he was attacked by wolves. I think we can find the answers together. And since this is going to be our final session, let’s make it count. Are you ready to begin?”
Tuesday let out a breath, not entirely sure if she should or not. Taking a second to ponder over it, she knew that the only way she was going to right the wrongs, was to get inside of the situation and examine it from every angle possible. And to do that, she would need Doctor Frederiksen’s guidance.
“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” Tuesday said, looking forward to finding some answers to the holes in her memory.
Doctor Frede
riksen stood up from his chair and guided Tuesday into the darkened room where the couch is set up. He fitted her with the electrodes for the EKG and brain wave monitors, so he could communicate with her in her dream. Doctor Frederiksen asked if she was comfortable.
“Yeah, I think so.” Tuesday responded wearily, wiggling in her spot to find the place where she would be the most comfortable. Doctor Frederiksen began the countdown to Tuesday’s final session, sounding as monotonous and deliberate as he possibly could. It wasn’t long before Tuesday found herself completely under the suggestive power of Doctor Frederiksen and he was asking for permission to come into her dream, which she fully granted him.
“Here we go again, Miss Moxley.” Doctor Frederiksen commented, stating the obvious. “Let us hope that I will not be kicked out of your dream this time.”
“Yup yup.” Tuesday responded, wondering what the Doctor had in store for her for the day. “Here we are, now what are we gonna do?”
“Before we begin today’s exercise, I want to discuss a theory about your dreams.” Doctor Frederiksen announced. “There is a theory in the dream therapy community that says all your reality is something that you’re dreaming.”
Tuesday seemed exceptionally confused by what Doctor Frederiksen was trying to tell her, as she scrunched up her face, thinking what the meaning of his words might be. When she couldn’t conclude the findings on her own, she stiffened up her body, and put on a professional tone of voice, clearly mocking Doctor Frederiksen. “Would you care to elaborate?”
If the impression had bothered Doctor Frederiksen, he certainly didn’t show it, as he continued to expand his theory about dreams and realities. “There are scientists out there who are studying genetic cloning, or doctors who perform abortions, or judges and juries who hand out death sentences.” Doctor Frederiksen explained, hoping that Tuesday would follow his line of thinking to its logical conclusion. “For each of these examples there are people who oppose what they are doing, they say that they are playing god, if you follow me.”
“I get what you’re saying.” Tuesday replied, not understanding what these examples relate to her particularly unique condition. “There are people out there doing unethical things, I get it.”
“Ethical. Unethical. These are labels that are slapped on these actions to make them fit into agendas and ideologies.” Doctor Frederiksen explained, becoming very philosophical at that point. “None of it is truly right, and none of it is truly wrong, it just is. Right and wrong have nothing to do with what I’m trying to teach you. So in essence, what you are doing is the same thing they are doing. While they’re playing god, you are dreaming god.”
“Dreaming god?” Tuesday asked, crinkling her nose, trying to understand the meaning of the words that Doctor Frederiksen placed before her. “What’s that?”
“It is the term that I’ve coined for your condition.” Doctor Frederiksen elucidated, as if he were about to reveal the plot of a scary movie. “It is a term that explains everything all too well.”
“I still don’t understand.” Tuesday admitted, shaking her head.
Doctor Frederiksen knew he was going to have to be patient and go over it with Tuesday again until she could comprehend what he was saying. “Instead of playing god with genetics, or unborn fetuses, or death penalties, you are playing god with the future. Your exceptionally unique case may very well be the epitome of that theory. Your ability to dream unequivocally creates the reality in which you live. Fate is tethered to the things you are able to dream.”
Tuesday felt a sense of uneasiness crawling up down her spine as she realized the truth of Doctor Frederiksen’s words. For the first time, she understood that she was now in complete and absolute control of not only her destiny, but also the destiny of everybody else on the planet, the weight of that responsibility was too great for Tuesday to bear.
“My ability to dream will also affect every living being on Earth.” Tuesday spoke, allowing the words to slip from the boundaries of her lips. Thinking it was one thing, but to say the words brought the concept to life like never before. She began to imagine the good she could do for the world, she could end poverty, get the homeless off the street, and defy powerful people who had less than honest intentions for their constituents. Thoughts such as these made her drunk with her power, and she knew that she had the ability to take the world and change it into what she wanted it to be, only by dreaming it. But suddenly, she remembered that her power had recently been manipulated, and that it could be again. She remembered what a curse her abilities could be, and became afraid of the things she could be made to do. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by confirmation from Doctor Frederiksen.
“Yes.” Doctor Frederiksen stated simply. “You are the one who is responsible for the fate of any person you dream about.”
Tuesday snapped her eyes closed, trying to process all the new data that was being fed into her mind. “Before in our earlier sessions, you called this a gift.”
“It is a mighty gift.” Doctor Frederiksen agreed, shaking his head to the affirmative.
Tuesday opened her eyes and focused right on Doctor Frederiksen. “When you tell me that I can control the fate of all humankind, I think of it as a curse.” Tuesday spoke assertively, eloquently making her point. “I don’t want the power to control fate. I have never wanted it.”
“Child, it has been given to you whether you’ve chosen it or not.” Doctor Frederiksen countered, trying to convince Tuesday that she has abilities that most only dream of having. “It isn’t going away, so you might as well accept it and do some good with it.”
“I can’t just accept it.” Tuesday yelled back at Doctor Frederiksen. “It’s too much responsibility for one human being, let alone a teenage girl!”
“You are allowing your fears to create these unnecessary dark perceptions for you.” Doctor Frederiksen stated compassionately, trying to explain that positive side of what he had to say. “This isn’t as bad as it seems.”
Tuesday wasn’t going to accept what Doctor Frederiksen had to say, she couldn’t. “Yeah, I am afraid. Is that what you want to hear?” Tuesday shot back at him. “I’m afraid and my fear makes my power uncontrollable. My dark side has come out twice now, and has made me do terrible things. Do not stand there and tell me what an honor it is to have this power, don’t stand there and wish that you were in my shoes, because if you were, I’m not so sure you could handle it. I fear making the wrong choices and condemning my soul in the process, losing my humanity and actually thinking that I may be a god.”
Doctor Frederiksen had certainly become intoxicated with Tuesday’s power, with a wild look in his eyes that Tuesday hadn’t seen before. He continued to seduce her with the possibilities of what could be, and to show her how powerful she had become, and how to unlock her power even further.
“Don’t you understand, Miss Moxley?” Doctor Frederiksen said, his voice becoming silky smooth and as slippery as a nightcrawler. “Don’t you see that once you harness the fear, it can be used to fuel your power? You will truly be unstoppable. You could have the world at your fingertips if you chose to!”
Tuesday stared at Doctor Frederiksen and found truth in the words that he was saying. She did need to conquer her fear, and rise above the darkness. But it would not be by abusing her power and destroying the world. She reached deep inside herself, looking for a piece of serenity, and oddly enough, saw the face of her mother, gently looking at her and telling her how much faith she has that Tuesday will do the right thing. In that moment in her mind, the entire matter was reconciled.
“You don’t know what it’s like.” Tuesday admitted, speaking calmly and confidently. “When I use this power, I feel this darkness. My darkness. It comes out of me and makes me do things that I don’t want to do.”
“That is your fear speaking!” Doctor Frederiksen coached, sounding like some sort of twisted Mister Miyagi. “Gain control of it, do not
allow your fear to control you. You will not fulfill your dreams until you defeat that fear and embrace your gift.”
Tuesday instantly recognizes what it is that Doctor Frederiksen is trying to achieve, and she refused to succumb to his taunting, whether his intention was to help her or not. She needed to come clean to him, now that she could remember. She knew when she returned to the physical world, her memories would be lost again.
“No. I will not fight the darkness with darkness.” Tuesday shouted, taking a stand for herself. “We will have to find another way to defeat this problem.”
“Miss Moxley, it is the only way.” Doctor Frederiksen returned, trying to explain in a way that might make more sense to her. “This darkness can only be fought by darkness. Light and dark equals itself out. If you have a dim candle, the light from it casts a dim shadow on the wall. In the brightest part of the day, the bright sun casts the darkest shadow. The brighter that you shine, the darker the shadow that you fight will be.”
“I know about the darkness.” Tuesday explained, becoming emotional. “The darkness forced me to kill Jessica Jackson! The darkness seduced me into killing Principal McCauley! This fear takes control of me and forces me to do evil things! I cannot allow it to control me anymore, and I need to get this curse under control before it makes me do something worse.”
“You’re telling me that you have awakened something inside of you that is making you kill people?” Doctor Frederiksen clarified, hoping to understand Tuesday’s plight a little more thoroughly. “You’re telling me that you’re not in control when this thing takes hold?”
“Yes, exactly!” Tuesday said, breaking down crying. “I don’t want anybody else to die!”
Almost on cue, the world around the two of them began to darken, but this time Doctor Frederiksen was not ejected from the session. Doctor Frederiksen looked around, frightened, and looking to back out of the therapy session, but had nowhere to run. Suddenly a dark shape grew from the ground, rising and looking back and forth between Tuesday and the Doctor.
“You’ve decided to spill our secret.” The Nightmare hissed in complete malice, causing them both to collapse to the ground in pain. “Now you must kill the Doctor for me. Nobody must know of our plans.”
Tuesday seemed confused by what The Nightmare was telling her. “We don’t have any plans, you wretched creature!”
“You will kill the Doctor.” The Nightmare hissed, sending another shockwave of pain coursing through their bodies.
“Fight him Miss Moxley!” Doctor Frederiksen pleaded, more terrified than he had ever been in his life. “Get your fear under control!”
“I can’t!” Tuesday confessed, writing on the ground in agony as another scream assaulted their aural senses. “I could only fight him when I felt extreme hatred.”
Tuesday fought through the pain and the screaming and tried to find that place of serenity where her mother was so proud of her, but felt disconnected from it. “I will not kill for you!” Tuesday said, her voice commanding confidence, but gave into her fear of the creature. “I will not kill this man, no matter what you make me do! First Jessica, and then Principal McCauley, where does it end? No more!”
The Nightmare howled in rage. “They both had it coming! They made your life a miserable existence! As I recall, you wished the Jackson girls were dead on the bus. And Principal McCauley, you savored his death, so don’t think you’re so innocent.”
While the Nightmare was focused on his diatribe, Tuesday extended an arm and shoved Doctor Frederiksen from the dream and back into the real world, expelling her from the warfare she was about to face. The Nightmare was displeased. “He knows too much and needs to die!” He roared, making his meaning clear.
“I’m not going to kill him!” Tuesday shot back. “I’m not going to kill anybody.”
“You will kill for me again.” The Nightmare commanded, hissing and roaring its words, stabbing Tuesday with them, piercing her like cold steel. “You will kill whenever I want you to, because you cannot defeat me in this world.”
“I will not play your sadistic games!” Tuesday screamed, trying to elevate her voice over the pain and the unmusicality of The Nightmare’s torturous vocalizations. “I was wrong for ever having allowed you to control me!”
“You allowed nothing!” The Nightmare countered, laughing at the thought that Tuesday believed she had any power over him. “You cheated me out of one life today. I warned you not to defy me, now you will pay the price.”
The Nightmare loomed large over Tuesday, enveloping her in the blackness of its appearance and when the light returned, she was standing near a rail crossing out near the edge of The Devil’s City. The crossing was very icy, and cars were having some difficulty getting up and over the tracks. It was cold outside, but in that moment, Tuesday realized that it was even colder inside of herself, as The Nightmare had appeared to take up residence in her own body. She could see everything going on, but had no control over her actions whatsoever. This was not acceptable to Tuesday, not in the slightest.
Cars kept filing over the railway one by one. The snow began to fall again as the cars kept coming across the rail crossing, until Tuesday spotted the last car in the line. It was her mother’s car. She suddenly realized who it was that The Nightmare wanted her to kill as anxiety twisted her stomach into a sick knot.
“No, please!” Tuesday pleaded with The Nightmare inside her mind, the fear of loss gripping her tightly to the point it was difficult to breathe. “Don’t make me do this! I beg you, please STOP!!” In her mind, she was screaming, but her mind was thinking thoughts that were beyond her control. As Megan’s car pulled up onto the slippery ice covering the railroad crossing, Tuesday thought about the engine of the car dying. No sooner had her mind thought of it, the engine died and stopped dead across the tracks. She found herself thinking of the traction disappearing from the tires. Nobody in the real world would have noticed it, but the moment she thought about it, the tires went completely bald, and would not move upon the ice.
Tuesday desperately fought the battle inside her head to regain control of her thoughts, which The Nightmare had hijacked from her. The only thing she could hear in her head was the laughter of The Nightmare, who was taunting her and drawing out the events that were about to play out. Through the laughter, Tuesday heard a distant howling sound, or what she thought was a howling sound, she couldn’t be certain through the volume of the laughing. As the noise sounded again, it became much clearer, and Tuesday realized that a train was approaching the crossing, barreling down on the crossing at a great rate of speed.
At the moment that the vehicle had died, Megan threw her hands in the air and incessantly cursed it again. She had problems with the car the day she had acquired it, and it drank her bank account dry trying to pay for repairs. In the past, she used to trade favors for repairs, or discounts on repairs, but that would not be the case now or in the future. She knew that she needed another car, a more reliable one that would serve both Tuesday’s and her needs for the next few years. And then she would need to focus on buying another car for Tuesday when she was old enough to drive. But she had to make this car work for her until she got all her ducks in a row, and that wouldn’t be for several months.
Megan pumped the gas and tried starting the car again. Nothing happened. Another time, still nothing. She pounded her hands on the steering wheel in frustration, and that’s when she heard the horn of a train sounding nearby. Realizing that the situation was desperate, she attempted several more times to start the car, without success.
Tuesday was trying to find a loophole in The Nightmare’s control that she could use to break free long enough to get her mother out of the path of the oncoming train. “Please!” Tuesday beseeched The Nightmare, hoping to reach a part of humanity within him. “I need her! I can’t live without her!”
The Nightmare had no emotional center that could be reached. ?
??Your defiance brought us here.” It susurrated, cold in its speech. “She is going to die, whether you want her to or not.’
Megan kept turning the key in the car, repeatedly, trying to get the car started. She pumped the gas and turned the key, and suddenly the engine rumbled to life, and she stepped on the gas. The bald tires spun on the ice, turning her car at an awkward angle on the road, placing her more in peril on the railroad tracks.
Tuesday felt some joy that the car started, realizing that her mother’s fate would not be met on those railroad tracks on that icy autumn day. And then she found herself thinking the most unimaginable thing. The completely died. Megan pounded on the steering wheel, and realized that she would need to abandon ship. She reached for her seatbelt to unlock it from its clasp, but it wouldn’t budge because The Nightmare had forced her to imagine that the seatbelt button was stuck. Tuesday fought back against The Nightmare as best as she could, trying to bluff him, hoping it would distract him long enough to take control of her thoughts and release her mother from the car.
“I’ll do what you want me to do! Please, just don’t make me kill my mother.” Tuesday said, negotiating her mother’s life for somebody else’s. The Nightmare’s interest piqued for a moment, listening to what she had to say. She could feel the pressure in her mind lessen, and she thought about the seatbelt springing open, much to the chagrin of The Nightmare.
Megan felt the seatbelt detach from the clasp, and reached over to grab her purse before bailing from the car. The train was nearly on top of her as she reached out to grab the door handle to escape the doomed vehicle.
Tuesday ran from the position she was standing next to the rail crossing to the spot outside Megan’s driver’s side door pounding on it from the dream world. Inside her mind, Tuesday was locked in a battle of wills with The Nightmare, struggling to save her mother’s life. Tuesday’s momentary victory with the seat belt was shattered as The Nightmare regained control of her mind, causing her to think about the door handle breaking off in her mother’s hand, filling her with an urgent sense of dread.
“Do not defy me, child!” The Nightmare wailed, sending another upsurge of agony through her mind, blotting out her senses and dropping her to her knees outside the door of the car.
Tuesday gathered as much of her strength as she could, standing to her feet again, and shouting at The Nightmare with every ounce of hatred she could muster up. “I will not let you kill her!”
“You should realize by now that you do not have a choice!” The Nightmare answered, taunting Tuesday, and reasserting his authority over her for only a couple more seconds.
Megan reached for the door handle, and pulled it, hoping to free herself from the car. She yanked it with all her might, and the handle came off in her hand. She knew that this was going to be her final moments, and that she would never see her daughter again.
It was a split second before the train impacted the car that The Nightmare released his hold on Tuesday, and suddenly time seemed to crawl. That last second felt as if many seconds had passed. Megan placed the palm of her hand on the window, the light from the train bearing down on her.
“Tuesday, baby, I love you!” Megan had the time to say, thinking of the thing that had mattered the most to her. “I’m sorry for everything.” And in that moment, when the time seemed to stretch out, Megan thought she could see Tuesday outside her window, extending her hand and placing her matching palm on the other side of the glass as the snowflakes fell in slow motion around her, illuminated by the light of the oncoming train.
“Me too, Mom.” Tuesday cried out, wishing she could stop this inevitable moment from occurring. “I’m sorry!”
Time resumed back to normal and the train passed through Tuesday’s immaterial body and slammed into the car on the tracks, the sound of twisting metal screeching, breaking the silence of that cold autumn day. At first, Tuesday could feel the agony of her mother’s physical death, as the wave of it ripped through her own body, shattering her sense of being. She had felt the deaths of many people, but none were as emotionally and physically intense as Megan’s had been. Perhaps their connection made the pain as unbearable as it was, or perhaps it was the train, ripping and twisting Megan’s body apart, in that nanosecond of impact. And suddenly, the pain was gone, and Tuesday feels a peace settle over where her mother had been in her heart. She crumpled down into the snow into a fetal position, and cried like she never had before as The Nightmare stood above her.
“I warned you not to disobey me.” The Nightmare hissed, stabbing Tuesday with the icy talons of its words. “Now you have paid the price for your rebelliousness. You will remember. You will remember everything. Every victim and every incident. You will remember today, and every day from now that you are a murderer. That is the punishment for defiance.”
Tuesday raised her head up from the snow, and looked directly at The Nightmare, sending her a message that it would not soon forget. “I hate you!!” She screamed, directing her vitriol at the hideous creature standing before her. “You killed my mother, and I will be the end of you!” Tuesday could feel the hatred rising in her to a level she had not felt before and found herself instinctively raising her hand up to defy the monster yet again. No sooner than Tuesday raised her hands, blue flames shot out from them, engulfing The Nightmare’s arm in a brilliant fire that caused it to screech in pain. The Nightmare had not anticipated this power from Tuesday, and fled, returning the world to its normal appearance, as emergency vehicles arrived to evaluate the scene.
Tuesday couldn’t allow herself to watch as she screamed for Doctor Frederiksen awaken her from her state of hypnosis. He could tell by looking at her that something had gone terribly wrong in her encounter with the creature as tears were falling from her closed eyes. The answers he was looking for would soon come, and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to hear about what had transpired between Tuesday and the dark creature.
IV
THE UNTIMELY END OF MEGAN MOXLEY
Tuesday woke from her hypnosis with an intense look of hatred and suffering in her eyes. Doctor Frederiksen noticed it immediately and did the best he could to comfort Tuesday, but she soon began crying inconsolably, his hand shaking uncontrollably while he reached out to rub her shoulder to calm her. He squeezed it into a ball, hoping to stop it from shaking any more than it was.
“Miss Moxley, what’s wrong?” He asked her, rubbing her shoulders, trying to relax her from the stress of her dream. “You were thrashing around in your spot during that session. I was pushed out again, and you were screaming something about your mother.”
When Tuesday calmed down enough to talk, she began speaking in a cold tone that scared Doctor Frederiksen, looking him straight in the face with a look that is meant to kill. “She’s dead! They’re all dead! And I’m going to hunt down that creature and kill it!”
“The creature from your dream?” Doctor Frederiksen clarified, trying not to stir up Tuesday’s emotions any further than they already were.
“Yeah, that thing in my dreams.” Tuesday said, her eyes darting back and forth across the room, as if she were on the lookout for some sort of enemy attack to happen. “It makes me kill people. I’m going to hunt it down and end its pathetic life. It made me kill her!”
“Who?” Doctor Frederiksen asked, searching for the answers. “Who did it make you kill?”
Tuesday suddenly flew into a frenzied rage, balling her hands up into fists. “My mother!” Tuesday screamed jumping up from the couch, looking as if she could fight something right then and there. “She’s dead, don’t you get it? That thing made me kill my own mother!” She fell to the floor and pulled herself over to the corner, retracting into a tiny ball, distraught, tears cascading down her face like the waterfall her hometown was named after.
Doctor Frederiksen cautiously approached Tuesday, who was now sobbing quite loudly in the corner doing his best to empathize with her. “How did she die?” He
asked Tuesday as compassionately as he could manage.
“She was crushed by a train.” Tuesday succeeded in saying between loud bouts of crying. “That creature made me kill my own mother! It made me kill Jessica Jackson! It manipulated me into killing Principal McCauley!”
Doctor Frederiksen seemed somewhat confused. “How did it make you kill Jessica when you were here with me at the time?” He asked, hoping to push her just far enough to get the answers he needed without going too far overboard. “And you didn’t kill Principal McCauley, he was killed by wolves.”
“You don’t understand!” Tuesday screamed defiantly, trying to make Doctor Frederiksen comprehend what she was telling him. “That beast can take control of me and make me use my power in whatever way it wants me to! It made me kill all of them!”
Doctor Frederiksen shook his head in absolute disbelief. He could not conceive of the concept that Tuesday’s dark side had gained sentience in her dreams and controlled her to do unspeakable things. He thought of many things he could try to do to help Tuesday move past this, but decided that in the end, being a friend was probably the best he could hope for. “What can we do about this?” Doctor Frederiksen asked somberly.
“Get the police on the scene.” Tuesday said gravely, already knowing that there was nothing they could do for her mother. “There won’t be much of her left to identify when they arrive.”
“I. . . I don’t know what to say.” Doctor Frederiksen said, doing his best to empathize with Tuesday to help her cope with her loss.
“I’ve condemned myself.” Tuesday stated, throwing all the blame she could imagine at herself. “I can feel the hand of the Devil grasping my throat. NO matter what I do now, I’ve lost everything, including my soul.”
Doctor Frederiksen was not a religious person, but Tuesday’s words affected him deeply. For the first time in his life, he considered the possibility of the existence of God, and felt that Tuesday really believed that she had moved to a place that was possibly beyond redemption. It was at that moment that Anthony Frederiksen decided that he needed to place any assumptions or judgments he had about Tuesday and her abilities aside, and focus on helping her to heal from this. Maybe her mother had been right, maybe the hypnosis sessions needed to be put on hold for a while.
“Doctor Frederiksen?” Tuesday piped up, trying to get his attention. “Could you call somebody for me?”
“Yes, of course.” Doctor Frederiksen replied, a deep look of concern on his face. “Who do you want me to call?”
“A police officer.” Tuesday stated, her hands shaking as tears began to fall from her eyes again. “His name is Douglas Downe.”
How would she ever explain this to him?