I swallow and step inside, waiting for her to close the door behind me before following her into the living area. The talking ceases immediately when I step in, and my eyes scan the crowd. Maddox, Krypt, Tyke and Mack plus their significant others. No Diesel. Shame rises in my cheeks as they all stare at me, some glaring. I can’t blame them. I know that.
“You’re Spike’s daughter,” Maddox says, his voice calm but icy. “You didn’t care to share that with us?”
“Whatever you’re thinking,” I say softly, staring at my feet, “you’re wrong. This isn’t some ploy to get information or scope out your club. I . . . I really do care about Diesel, and didn’t know about you until he brought me here that night. I know you have no reason to believe me but—”
“You’re right,” Mack says, his voice disappointed. “We don’t have any reason to believe you. You’re the daughter of another club, a club we don’t have beef with, but have had problems with in the past.”
“I understand that,” I say, my voice shaky. “But I’m not here to cause problems.”
“You bein’ who you are is a problem,” Mack snaps.
Tears burst forth and roll down my cheeks. “You think I don’t know that? Do you think I wanted to meet the one person who could come to matter to me and find out we’re an impossible match? Believe it or not, I care about your son, and when I found out what he was, it terrified me.”
“You should have ended it then.” Mack grunts.
“Maybe, but in case you haven’t noticed in all the years you’ve been in his life, Diesel is incredible, and he takes my breath away every time he’s in the room. I didn’t want to give that up, so that makes me selfish, I understand, but . . . I . . . I love him.”
Everyone stares, some shocked, some softer, some still angry. I feel slight relief to finally say those words.
“Mack,” Jaylah says softly. “Go easy on her.”
“She’s Spike’s daughter,” Mack says, his voice a little less harsh.
“Yeah, she is, but she’s still just a girl.”
“She’s the member of another club,” Krypt says, keeping all the emotion from his voice. “Diesel is a member of this one. It’ll never work.”
“Why can’t it?” I cry, frustrated. “Why? Why does what we have need to have anything to do with the clubs?”
“Honey,” Tyke says. “No offence, but you wanna get married, have babies? It has everything to do with the clubs.”
My tears become frustrated, and I drop my head. “This is exactly why I wish I was never part of this. I wish . . .”
“You don’t mean that,” Maddox says. “Don’t know much about your club, but I do know your dad, and I know he’d lay down his life for you. The Knights’ kids are adored and protected, as are ours. You have a family beyond any normal family, and people who would die for you.”
“And what about what I want?” I sob between tears. “What about me? I want to make friends, fall in love, have a normal life, and I can’t. I can’t . . .”
“You can—just not with Diesel,” Mack says.
I look to him, and he’s blurred through my tears. “Right,” I whisper. “Right . . .”
I turn and walk towards the door, my body screaming in agony, my heart crying out in pain as it breaks into a thousand pieces. They’re right. I know they’re right. Diesel and I can never be. We can’t possibly work.
“Don’t leave,” Jaylah says, rushing towards me.
“Jay!” Mack protests.
“No, it’s nearly midnight, and she shouldn’t be out there alone. Besides, Spike is going to know exactly where she came; you don’t want to cause a problem, you’ll let him know she’s safe and sound where he can find her.”
Mack glares at her. Jaylah holds her ground.
“Let her stay.”
I flinch at the sound of Diesel’s voice and turn to see him standing at the foot of the stairs, arms crossed, studying me.
“You know this is dangerous territory, boy,” Mack mutters.
Diesel looks to him. “Depends who you talk to. Why should it be an issue? We got nothing to do with club business, and neither should this.”
“Diesel,” Mack begins.
“No, Dad. No. I’m fucking done with it. I’m not what you want me to be, and I’ll never change. I fucked up, I know that but it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to run this club, and I don’t want to be part of anything that goes down with it. I can date who I want and so can she—you’re the ones makin’ a big deal out of nothin’.”
“Nothing?” Mack barks, standing. “It’s not fuckin’ nothing!”
“Mack, stand down,” Maddox says. “Let them go tonight; we’ll deal with this in the morning. Jay is right. Spike is going to guess where she is and come to get her. Best thing we can do is ensure she’s safe and hand her over when he arrives. You know it. So stand down.”
Mack glares at Diesel, who holds his stare. Then he turns and leaves the room. My heart breaks even more. I didn’t want to cause a problem between Diesel and his dad, or the clubs. That’s not my intention.
“I should go. This isn’t what I wanted,” I say. “I don’t want you all to fight, or problems to be caused . . .”
“Stay,” Diesel says, his eyes flickering to me after he watches his dad go.
“Diesel . . .”
“Stay, Mercedes.”
It’s not an offer; it’s a demand. My shoulders slump. “I need to call my dad or he’ll lose it . . .”
“Then call him.” He moves down from the stairs and comes forward, taking my hand. “In my room.”
“Diesel,” Maddox warns.
“It’s fine, Maddox. She’s fine.”
They don’t protest any further as he pulls me up the stairs.
I look back at the judgmental faces, and I wish they knew how sorry I was.
I really do.
~*~*~*~
“Mom,” I whisper. “Please tell him I’m okay.”
“You snuck out, Mercedes. He lost it when he found you gone.”
“And I’m okay. I just needed to fix this with Diesel and—”
“What about your dad?” she asks.
“I made a mistake, but so did he and you know it.”
“Running is only going to fuel the fire.”
“We both need time.”
“You’re with another club,” she cries, her voice sounding desperate.
“Yes, and I’m safe. I wouldn’t tell you that if I wasn’t. They let me stay because they wanted Dad to know I was safe, and that they’d hand me over as soon as he needed me. They aren’t here to cause trouble.”
“Even so, Mercedes, you shouldn’t be there.”
“You don’t have to worry about that, because Diesel and I decided it was best for everyone if he takes me home.”
She goes silent. “How do I know you’re telling the truth?”
“Call me on the landline at my apartment in twenty minutes—I’ll answer it. Please, Mom, I don’t want any trouble. Don’t let Dad come howling in here to cause it. We both need the night. Tell him I’m at home and I’ll call him tomorrow.”
“You’re asking me to lie.”
“I’ll be at home.”
“You’re with Diesel.”
“Yes, I am. If he needs to know that, fine, but I don’t want to have to hide, Mom. Not tonight. Please.”
She sighs. “I’ll tell him, but Mouse, he’s not happy you’re gone, and I can’t promise he won’t come to you tonight.”
“I understand that.”
“I’ll call as soon as I’m home.”
“Mercedes, what you said tonight . . .”
“I know, Mom. I’m ashamed of myself.”
“You should be,” she says, and I hate the disappointment in her voice.
My throat closes and I whisper, “Tell him I love him and I’m sorry, please?”
“I’ll try, honey. I’ll give you until tomorrow, then I want you home. Do you hear me?”
&
nbsp; “I’ll be there.”
“Bye Mercedes.”
“Bye Mom.” I hang up, and my heart aches.
“Everything okay?” Diesel asks, coming up behind me.
“He hates me, and he has every right to. I was awful to him.”
“It’ll come good,” he says, sitting beside me. “He’ll cool down.”
“Why did you?” I ask, turning to him.
“Why did I what?”
“Cool down.”
He studies my face. “I heard you talking to my family, and I got it. I get it. I know how it feels to be stuck somewhere that forces your life to be anything but what you want, and . . .”
“And?”
“And I heard you say you loved me.”
I flush and look away.
“Do you?”
I study my hands. “Whatever it is I feel for you, Diesel, it’s very real. Tonight, thinking you were angry at me . . . it hurt more than anything has ever hurt in my life.”
“For what it’s worth,” he says, reaching down, and cupping my chin in his hand, “I fuckin’ adore you, Mercedes.”
A tear leaks out of my eyes. “I’ve gone and made a huge mess of things.”
“It’ll look better in the morning, I promise. Come on, let me get you home.”
I nod and take his hand.
At least one fire is extinguished.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
My mom calls a few minutes after I walk through the front door. She tells me that she convinced my dad to leave it for the night, and that I was safe at home and would be at the club first thing to talk with him. That seems to be enough for tonight, but really, it’s most likely because he’s so angry at me he doesn’t want to see me. Taj is out so Diesel and I are alone. I text my dad while Diesel is ordering a very late pizza, because we’re both hungry.
M – I know you’re angry at me. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.
He responds, which surprises me, but when I read his text my heart falls.
D – Tomorrow, Mercedes.
Tears run down my cheeks as I reply.
M – I’m sorry, Daddy.
He doesn’t write back. Diesel finds me sobbing, clutching my phone on my bed. He comes to me and pulls me into his arms, brushing his lips against my hair.
“It’ll be okay, Killer.”
“He’s never been this angry at me.”
“He’ll come around.”
I clutch Diesel’s shirt and cry until all my tears subside. Lifting my head from his chest, I stare into his eyes. He’s open to me, not hiding anything, and I can see the concern mixed with confusion in his eyes.
“Is this going to end before it even begins?” I whisper.
He cups my face in his hands. “No.”
“We’re destined to fail.”
He leans down, brushing his lips across mine. “Believe in something, Mercedes, and it might just turn out to be okay.”
God. I adore him.
I want him.
I’m done waiting.
I bring my mouth closer, and I kiss him with clear meaning. He groans and tangles his hands into my hair, his fingers massaging my scalp as he takes my kiss, letting my tongue dance with his, letting my mouth say everything I can’t. He pulls away after a few heated minutes and murmurs, “Mercedes . . .”
“I want this, Diesel,” I whisper, reaching down and unbuttoning my top. “I do.”
He takes my hands, stopping me. “Then we do it slow, and we do it my way.”
My heart stutters and I nod, swallowing the nerves that are threatening to explode in my chest.
“First,” he says, his voice low, “I’m going to kiss you some more.”
He does, bringing his lips over mine and kissing me until all I can see, all I can breathe, all I can feel is him. All over me. Surrounding me. Making everything in my body come alive. Then slowly, while kissing me, he removes my top, followed by my bra. My cheeks burn with awareness as he pulls back, and his eyes drop to my breasts.
“You’re so fucking beautiful. You take my breath away.”
I swallow and reach for his shirt, nervously lifting it over his head and revealing the most exquisite body I’ve ever seen. He’s lean, but well muscled and bronzed all over. He has no hair on his chest and only a small trail disappearing from his belly button into his pants. He’s perfectly put together, and my breath hitches as I allow myself to take him in.
“You take my breath away, too,” I say softly, reaching over and running my hands down his chest.
He gently brings his body over mine and scoots me down onto the bed, positioning himself between my legs so our chests are crushed together. Then he kisses me some more, moving over my jaw, down my neck, over my collarbone, and then to my breasts. I gasp as he closes his mouth over my nipple and sucks. I’ve never felt something so exquisite in my life. Sensations unlike any I’ve experienced shoot through my body, settling right in my core.
He moves down after slow, perfect torture on my breasts, and kisses a soft path over my stomach until he reaches my shorts. He unbuttons them and slides them down my hips, taking my panties with them. I throw an arm over my eyes, scared he won’t like what he sees, that I won’t be enough.
“Take your hands away from your eyes,” he says, placing his hands on my knees and spreading my legs. “Don’t ever be ashamed of your beauty.”
“I don’t . . . I don’t know if I’m doing it right.”
“Being you is doing it right, baby.”
My heart melts as he leans down, brushing his lips over my pubic bone. I shudder, and anticipation swells in my chest as he uses the tip of his finger to find my clit, slowly swirling it in small circles until the most intense, amazing pleasure bursts through my body. Then he replaces his finger with his mouth, and everything I thought I knew about sex flies right out the window. Never could I have imagined it would feel like this.
His mouth is perfect, his lips soft, and his tongue probing. He licks deep, sucking my clit into his mouth and working me in a way I had no idea even existed. I gasp and arch up, my fingers finding his head and curling into his thick, perfect hair. He hums against my flesh, causing little vibrations to travel right to my belly. I whimper his name as something amazing builds, something that tightens deep in my core and explodes like a thousand fireworks.
“Oh my God,” I scream as the most incredible orgasm takes over, swarming my body, destroying my senses.
“Fuck,” Diesel says, moving his body over mine again. “You’re fuckin’ beautiful.”
“I . . . I’ve never,” I whisper.
“Glad I was your first, Killer,” he murmurs against my lips before sitting back and jerking his jeans down.
He shuffles out of them, and I find my eyes on his dick. Wow. It’s not what I pictured at all. It’s far, far more. It’s long and straight, nicely thick, but not scarily so. He’s pure perfection down below. The urge to lean over and taste him is overwhelming. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a condom, and I watch in fascination as he rolls it on before positioning over me.
“Can’t promise this will feel nice, honey, but I’ll do everything I can to reduce your pain.”
“I don’t care,” I whisper. “I just want you inside me, Diesel.”
He strokes my hair out of my face before leaning down and kissing me long and hard. Distracting me. I love that about him. His body moves as his mouth claims mine, and I can feel his dick pressing against me, ready to take something no one else ever had. His kiss gets more intense, and I lose myself in him. Reality takes me back when he thrusts forward in one fluid stroke. My lips part, and a strangled gasp leaves them.
“Sorry, baby,” he says, his voice low and concerned. “It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid—the faster the better.”
I clutch him and bury my face into his neck as a strange burning sensation swarms my sex. It takes a solid few minutes to ease, and only then does Diesel move. He’s slow at first, so slow I can barel
y feel it, but then he gradually picks up the pace, letting me know he’s there, letting my body adjust. It does, quicker than I thought, and soon the burning pain has turned into a tight fullness that isn’t at all unpleasant.
“Diesel,” I whisper. “Faster.”
“You sure?” he says, his voice tight.
“Yes.”
He moves quicker, his body gliding in and out of mine. The tight sensation is topped with a clenching deep within that feels nice. Really nice. I clutch his shoulders and arch up into him, whimpering his name. He’s inside me. He’s making love to me. And it feels fucking incredible. The look on his face is something I’ll keep with me for as long as I breathe. His lips are parted slightly, his jaw tight, his eyes on mine. He looks stunning.
“Does it feel good?” I gasp.
“Yeah, fuck . . .” he grinds out. “Yeah.”
I bring our bodies closer, crushing my lips against his. He kisses me with force as his body does its thing, taking mine with a ferocity I’ll never forget. I know the moment he finds his release because his entire body gets tight and he shudders, letting out a puff of air and a groan against my cheek.
It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt.
I never want it to end.
~*~*~*~
“You’ll be okay,” Diesel says the next day, running a thumb down my cheek.
The nerves in my stomach don’t ease at his words, even though I know he’s right. It’ll be okay. Facing my dad today is scaring me, because we’ve never fought this intensely before and I can’t bear to see the disappointment in his face. Worse, to listen to every reason under the sun that Diesel and I shouldn’t be together. I look at the gorgeous man in front of me right now, and I just can’t believe that we’re not together for a reason.
The universe had a plan, and it seems everyone is out to try and take that away.
“Yeah,” I say, reaching up and taking his hand into mine. “I know.”
“Call me when you get home, yeah?”
I step closer, pressing my body into his. He leans down and our lips brush softly before I take a second to breathe him in, trying to memorize his smell for those times when things are hard. Diesel has the kind of smell that screams comfort.
“I’ll miss you,” I say, stepping back.