“Spike?” Mom’s frantic voice comes from somewhere on the patio.
“Get out here, Ciara. She needs you.”
My mother is by my side in a second. “My baby, oh God, not again. Spike . . . you said . . .”
“I know what I said,” he says, his voice tight. “I fucked up. I gotta go take care of this. You need to get her looked at.”
“Spike,” she whispers. “She needs you here.”
He kneels down and I look up, tears running down my face. He cups my jaw in both his big hands. “You need me here, I’ll stay—you know that. If you don’t, I’m goin’ to go and bring great fuckin’ pain to the asshole that did this. You tell me, baby. Tell me what you need?”
“Make it hurt,” I croak. “Make him go away, Daddy.”
I reach up and curl my fingers around his wrist, squeezing. The chains he wears rattle beneath my palms, and his eyes find mine. Then he leans forward and presses a long kiss to my forehead before standing and bringing me up with him. Mom tucks me into her arms, and I know they’re looking at each other, because I can see in my dad’s eyes he’s torn. “I gotta do this, baby,” he says to her. “Gotta do it and you know it.”
“I can’t bear you getting hurt.”
“Won’t get hurt.”
She nods, and he steps forward, curling his hand around the back of her neck and kissing her hard. “Take care of her. I’ll be back soon.”
“Please be careful,” she says, as he turns and strides to his bike.
When he’s gone, she holds me tighter. “My poor girl. Come inside. We need to look at you.”
She helps me inside, and when we hit the kitchen she starts rushing around. She’s nervous, and she’s scared. I get that.
I get it because I am too.
So God damned scared.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
I’m sitting in the corner watching my mom, Addison, Serenity, and Janine rushing around, chatting and trying to make sense of everything that’s happened. Their conversation is hushed, but I have overheard a couple of words like “rival club” and “set-up.” We’ve heard nothing from Dad or the other guys, but as soon as they left, all the gang got called over here. Danny, Skye, Ava, and Max all sit by my side, none of us saying much.
“You okay?” Danny asks, turning to face me.
I shrug. I don’t know if I’m okay.
Mom said the wound on the back of my head wasn’t deep, thank God, so she cleaned it up for me and it feels okay now. My eye, however, is pounding. It’s swollen shut, and I can’t see a thing. Being punched by a man . . . it hurts so much more than I would have ever imagined.
“Mercedes,” he prompts.
“I don’t know, Danny,” I whisper.
He reaches over and takes my hand. I let him, but I don’t hold his back. My fingers just sits there, limp. I want Diesel. More than anything I just want him, and I can’t have him. Everyone knows that’s what I want, and no one is dares to say anything after what went down tonight. The air around me could be cut with a knife, it’s so tense.
“Why don’t we go upstairs and put a movie on or something?” Skye suggests, looking to me.
There is a look in her eye I understand. She wants to talk. She wants to give me the space to talk.
“Good idea,” Ava chips in. “Come on, Mercy. Let’s go.”
I nod and stand, letting Danny’s hand go. I give Max a weak smile as I go past and he reaches up, taking my hand and jerking me down. “I’m here. Do you understand me?”
“I know that, Max. But whose side are you on?”
His eyes flash, and he says softly, “Always yours, Mercedes.”
Tears burn under my eyes and I squat down, throwing my arms around him. I miss him so much. He hugs me tight, and we stay like that a while. “Thank you,” I whisper, standing back up. “I’ll hang with the girls a while then we’ll chill, okay?”
He nods. “All right.”
I follow Skye and Ava up the stairs and when we get into my room, I close and lock the door before turning to them. “Thank you . . . for getting me out of there.”
“I get it,” Ava says, sitting on my bed. “Believe me.”
“Did you ever believe they’d come around to Lucas?” I say, dropping down beside her. Skye joins us, and we all sit in a circle. I don’t want to talk about what happened tonight, I just need to talk about something else.
“To be honest, no way. My dad was so upset at me—hell, they got into a fist fight. Be grateful you didn’t cop that.”
“Diesel is too young. Dad wouldn’t hit him.”
“True,” Ava points out.
“I just don’t see how it’ll ever work,” I add softly. “And that scares me.”
“It’s harder because it’s two clubs,” Skye says gently, carefully even. “It comes down to them being forced to get along, and that’s not always possible. If issues arise, you’re both stuck in the middle of it.”
“I get it, I do, but-”
“You love him,” Ava finishes for me. “And love makes no sense.”
“If I lose him . . .” I trail off and look at my hands.
Skye takes one and squeezes. “It’s not impossible, honey. You know that, right?”
“Isn’t it?” I croak. “It seems like it is.”
“You don’t know the backgrounds of the clubs. It doesn’t have to involve them, and if they can keep peace and create some sort of treaty then it shouldn’t be an issue.”
“And if I have babies and want to get married?”
“That’s something you think about when it happens.”
I sigh and put my head in my hands. “This is too hard. Tonight has been one of the worst nights of my life, and all I can think is that I want Diesel. The desperation in my chest is screaming for him, and I can’t go to him.”
“I can’t imagine how that feels,” Skye says gently.
“I can, and it sucks. I understand,” Ava adds.
“Anyway, let’s watch a movie and distract ourselves,” I suggest.
“Has your mom still got your phone?” Skye asks, as we position ourselves in the bed.
“Yeah, she does. She’s not keeping it; she just wants to hold onto it until she knows everyone is safe. Just in case someone calls and makes threats.”
“Fair enough,” Ava adds. “Now, what are we going to watch?”
~*~*~*~
My eyes flutter open at the sound of the voices near my bedroom door. I’m curled up in my bed with Ava and Skye by my side. We got through two movies before finally passing out. Skye has her leg thrown over mine and is snoring softly. Ava has her back to me, but her ass is pressing against my hip because she’s curled up. I can’t help but smile. We’ve been doing this since we were kids, so it’s not a new thing. It’s just been so long. It’s nice to have them around.
I look in the direction of my door and see it’s open, and three big figures are standing in the gap, looking in on us. It takes me a matter of seconds to figure out who it is. Dad, Cade and Jackson.
“When did they grow up?” Jackson mutters.
“I don’t fuckin’ know,” Dad adds. “I remember them doin’ this same thing when they were just a few years old. Now they’re leavin’ us and goin’ in their own directions.”
“And we can’t protect them,” Cade says, his voice tight.
“Nothin’ feels worse in the world than knowin’ you can’t protect them anymore,” Jackson sighs. “Fuck. Havin’ boys would have been so much easier.”
Dad grunts. “You’re tellin’ me. Danny can fend for himself, but Mercy . . . she’s my baby. Always will be. Seein’ her tonight . . .”
“Know how you feel, brother,” Jackson says, his voice low. “Nothin’ worse in the world than knowin’ they were hurt because of club shit.”
“Managed to protect them this long . . .”
They all go silent, and I sit up. All their eyes flick to me, and I smile weakly. “Hey,” I say, my voice soft and sleepy.
“Hey pretty girl,” Jackson says. “How’s your head?”
I shrug, even though it’s pounding. “I’m okay.”
“Don’t look okay,” Cade mumbles, studying my puffy eye.
“Dad,” I say, looking to him.
He’s watching me, his face expressionless. “Go back to sleep, baby. You need it.”
“Can . . . can I talk to you first?”
He nods and I climb out of the bed carefully, trying not to wake the girls. I slide off the end and walk to the door. “Your daughter is a hugger,” I say to Cade.
He grins. “Yeah, that’s the best thing about her.”
“You’re right about that.”
Jackson watches Ava, his expression soft, then he and Cade leave. When they’re gone, I look to my dad to see he’s watching me again. He looks tired, and I’m grateful that it’s no longer anger. I glance down at his hands and see bruises forming over his fists. I know he did that for me, but I hate that he’s hurt.
“I . . .” I begin and then hesitate. “I don’t even know where to start, so I’m just going to say whatever comes first. I screwed up. I know that. The things I said to you . . . the way I spoke to you . . . I disrespected you, and I disrespected the club. I own that. I didn’t want to see it from your side because that meant facing the thought of losing him and Daddy—”
“You don’t wanna,” he finishes for me. “I get that, baby. Fuck, I get it more than you think.”
I look up at him, and he’s staring down at me, face soft. Thank God.
“I didn’t mean to fall in love with him. I know it’s my fault. I knew what I was, and I knew what he was, but he called to me . . . He just—”
“He needed you.”
A tear slides down my cheek, and I nod.
“I never meant to treat you that way, and I want you to know I understand why you don’t want me near him, but I can’t promise you that will happen. Not because I want to defy you, but because I just don’t think I have it in me to be without him. He makes me a better person. Tonight . . . the pain in my heart that he can’t be here with me . . . it hurts.”
My voice hitches and Dad steps forward, wrapping me in his arms. “Love hurts, baby. It fuckin’ hurts. I get that, too. Lost a wife and an unborn baby because of stupidity. I get that.”
I pull back and look up at him. I knew he was married to my mom’s sister, Cheyenne, before he was married to my mom, and that she got shot and killed by a rival club when she was pregnant with his baby. Mom told me the story a few years ago. He does get it; I know that.
“I don’t want to fight with you, Daddy . . . but I’m not willing to step away from him.”
He sighs, long and hard. “I don’t know how to deal with this. Honest to God, I don’t. Right now, I’m just glad you’re okay and here with me.”
I get that, and I’m certainly not going to push him when he’s not standing here telling me no. That would only stoke the fire, and I don’t want to risk that. If there’s a chance, even the smallest one, that Diesel and I can be together, I’m going to hang onto it with both hands.
“I was scared tonight,” I say, and tears run down my cheeks. “So scared.”
“I’m sorry, Mouse,” he says, cupping my jaw. “I don’t know who is messin’ with us, but I never wanted you to get tangled up in club business. Not after Ava . . .”
I wrap my arms around his waist and press my cheek to his chest. “It isn’t your fault. Sometimes bad things happen. We can’t control that.”
“You goin’ to be okay? Tell me you’re goin’ to be okay, because if you aren’t . . .” His voice is so pained and so tight I cry harder.
“I’m going to be okay.”
He holds me for long moments before stepping back. “Get some sleep, you need it. We all do. You’re safe here.”
“I know.”
He smiles, but it’s broken. He reaches down and strokes a thumb over my eye, and I can practically hear his heart break. That hurts. “You need something for the pain?”
I shake my head. He doesn’t need anything else to worry about. My head hurts, but I can handle it. I will handle it. I have painkillers in my room.
“Night, baby,” he says, letting me go.
“Night, Daddy.”
He disappears down the hall, and I watch him go.
My heart breaks for him with every step he takes.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
I plod down the stairs in the morning, my eye even more swollen and my head pounding. I round the corner into the kitchen and stop dead when I see Diesel and Mack standing in my parents’ kitchen. My heart explodes with emotion, and I run without any thought towards Diesel. He catches me in his arms and I cling to him, tears bursting forth and running down my cheeks. We stand there in a silent room, holding each other for what doesn’t seem like long enough.
“What are you doing here?” I croak, stepping back.
Diesel strokes a finger over my puffy eye. “We’re here because of this.”
I shake my head, confused. “I don’t understand.”
I turn and glance at Mack, whose face is hard as he takes in my eye. Then I move my gaze to my dad and Jackson, who are standing to my left, arms crossed over their chests. They’re not angry, but they’re clearly discussing something serious. My dad’s eyes are on Diesel and I, his jaw tight, but he doesn’t try to stop us. I don’t question that.
“Daddy?” I ask.
“Molly was taken to hospital last night,” he explains. “Someone attacked her.”
I gasp and press a hand to my mouth. “What?”
“She was leavin’ a club with her friends. Someone attacked her and sent the same message as they sent to you.”
I shake my head, confused. “I don’t understand.”
“Someone is trying to start a war,” Mack says.
I look to him. “With who?”
“With the two clubs,” Jackson mutters.
“You’re not making sense.”
“Baby,” Diesel says, tucking me into his side. “They sent the message to you that you need to tell your dad’s club to stay out of their business. Your dad’s club isn’t in their business, so he had to assume they had the wrong club and were talking about someone else—namely us. They sent the same message to us, leaving us with the same conclusion that it was your club they were talkin’ about. Kids get hurt, clubs retaliate . . .”
“So you’re saying that they wanted the two clubs to think it was the other causing problems that were leaving their loved ones to get hurt and turn on each other?”
“Yeah,” Dad mutters. “Clever fuckin’ move. If it weren’t for the fact that you have been seein’ Diesel, we wouldn’t have made any communication. Would have gone in, guns blazin’, tellin’ each other to stay in our own territory and therefore, startin’ a war. Whoever this is knows our clubs will do anything for our kids, and they used that.”
“Why would they want the two clubs to war?” I ask, still confused.
Mack shrugs. “Haven’t figured that out yet, but it ain’t for you to worry about.”
Fair enough.
“And you’re here because . . .” I prompt.
“Diesel,” Mack says simply. “Smart boy figured it out before we did.”
Diesel squeezes my side, and I turn and look up at him. “I called your phone after Molly was attacked; you weren’t answering. Finally, your mom answered and told me you had been hurt too . . . It seemed suspicious, so I thought about it and put two and two together.”
“Is Molly okay?”
“She’s all good. A few stitches and a sore face. Much like you. She’s at home with Maddox and Santana now.”
I turn to my dad. “Are we safe?”
He shakes his head. “Don’t know what the goal is here, kid. So no. You need protection.”
“She wants to go back to college?” Mack adds. “Happy to have protection on her as well as Diesel. Know your club don’t cover those grounds.”
Dad eyes Mack.
“You’re askin’ me to trust you with my daughter’s life?”
“Don’t know what you think of me—don’t really care. I have no beef with you, Spike, and I don’t want any. You keep to your shit and we keep to ours. You were in this territory first; I respect that. I’ve met your daughter; I like her. I don’t wanna see her hurt, club or no club. Up to you to decide if you trust my boys to do that job.”
They stare at each other and I shift uncomfortably.
“Let him do it, Spike,” Jackson says. “He’s got a point. We got no beef. We don’t want no beef. Whoever is settin’ this up is messin’ with us for a reason. Communication is not optional, like it or not. We’re goin’ to have to talk with them. No need for a war over nothin’. They’ve got protection on the boy; let them put protection on Mercy too.”
Dad looks to me, his eyes dropping to Diesel’s hand in mine. “Fine,” he finally mutters. “But I want twice daily reports. You manage that?”
Mack nods. “Yeah.”
“Right. You go and find what you can find. We’ll do the same,” Dad continues. “Mercedes is stayin’ here for the weekend.”
He looks to Diesel. “You wanna see her? You see her here. You ain’t takin’ her out. No argument.”
Diesel nods. “No problem.”
He’s letting Diesel stay? My heart swells with joy.
“We can get away from this without any problems, I’d appreciate that,” Jackson says. “Tell Maddox I’ll make communication when I have information.”
“We’re not the bad guys,” Mack says, his eyes holding Jackson’s. “We don’t want wars, and we don’t want any issues with your club. We’re past that shit, as I’m sure you are.”
Jackson nods. Mack nods. They understand each other.
“You stayin’, boy?” Mack asks.
Diesel looks to Dad, who jerks his head in a nod.
“Right. Check in later.”