It has been an incredible day. The boys have gotten a once-in-a-lifetime experience, thanks to Colton and his team. We’ve watched him fly around the track, come in for adjustments, and listened to the crew’s banter back and forth for the past several hours. I’ve been interviewed by reporters from the Los Angeles Times and the Orange County Register in regards to the fundraising collaboration of CD Enterprises on behalf of Corporate Cares. A photographer took pictures of us on and off while watching the test laps. The boys have been filled with sugary treats as well as great food that Colton’s team had brought in for us. We’ve been treated better than I ever could’ve imagined considering this was not a race or official engagement.
I snap a shot of Shane as he waves the flag when Colton passes by, pleased that I perfectly captured the look of joy in his face. When I look up from the digital image on my camera, Tawny is standing in front of me, a cool, calculating look in her frosty blue eyes. I give her a cautious but courteous smile despite her obvious censure of me.
When she just stands there and stares at me, I decide to make the first move. Her attempt at intimidation is ineffective. I just pray that for once in my life, I can have that quick wit I always think about after the fact, because I think I’m going to need it. “Can I help you?”
She crosses her arms across her ample bosom and leans a hip against the railing, her eyes never leaving mine. “You know you’re not his typical type, right?”
Oh, so that’s how this is going to be. I watch Colton come down the straightaway and wait for the deafening sound to pass us before pulling my headphones off. I lean back in my seat and allow the knowing smirk I feel to ghost my lips—the ones that Colton’s lips had been on earlier. “And your point is what? That you are?” I cringe inwardly at my last comment, for I know that she actually does fit the Colton pre-approved mold. So much for being witty.
She laughs snidely at me. “Oh, doll, your innocent little self has no clue what you’re getting yourself into, do you?”
Condescending bitch! “And what? If I had all of the experience that you do, I would?” My voice drips with sarcasm. “Let’s get something straight, what’s between Colton and I is none of your business. And I’m more than capable of taking care of myself, Tawny. Thanks for your misguided concern, though.”
She stares at me through the slits of her eyelids, her face twisting in wry amusement. “Oh, Rylee, everything Colton does is my business. I make sure of it.”
I stare at her momentarily, stunned by her impudence and wondering if there is any truth behind her words. I try to hide the bewilderment in my voice with cynicism. “I wasn’t aware he needed a keeper. He seems quite capable of making decisions for himself.” I cross my arms over my chest, mirroring her.
“You don’t know anything, do you?” she laughs cattily, her patronizing tone grating on my nerves. “Every man needs a woman whispering in his ear, telling him what’s best for him.” She smirks sardonically at me, “And Rylee, doll, I’m that person to Colton. Have been,” she arches an eyebrow, “and will continue to be.”
I plug my ears as Colton comes back around again, thankful for the brief respite to have a moment to let her comments sink in. After I’ve tracked him past us, I turn back to face her. “I’m pretty sure Colton doesn’t let anyone tell him what to do, Tawny. Nice try, though.”
If she laughs that annoying know-it-all laugh one more time, I’m going to strangle her. “You just keep thinking that, doll.” She taps an acrylic nail to her perfectly white teeth. “And before you know it, you’ll think you’ve reeled him in. And despite his little spiel about not wanting a girlfriend, you’ll think he actually wants more with you. That you can change him and his ways. You’ll think that you’ve tamed that rebellion and topped him and his domineering ways.” She turns to watch him fly down the backstretch of the track before turning back to me and taking a step closer. “And just when that happens, you’ll be over quicker than that lap he just clocked. You don’t have what it takes to keep him. He gets bored quickly.” Her eyebrows rise as she studies me. “Oh, my God!” she gasps, putting a hand over her mouth to hide her smarmy smile. “You’ve already fucked him, haven’t you?”
I just stare at her, trying to hide the truth, silence being my only answer. I don’t want to let her know that she’s getting to me. That her little bitchy comments are starting to poke under my skin and feed the insecurities that I have in regards to why Colton likes me.
“Well, it won’t be long now, then.”
“’Til what?” I ask, already assuming what she’s going to say.
I can see her move her tongue around the inside of her mouth as she thinks of how to best phrase her next spew of venom. “I’ve seen enough of his hussies come and go to say that I’ll give you two months tops, doll. You’ll be out of his bed and his life before the first race of the season.” She squints her eyes, glaring at me, waiting for the reaction I won’t give her. She takes a step closer to me. “Just know that it’ll be me he turns to then. It’ll be me telling him he’s too good for someone like you. I told you. I’m. The. Voice. In. His. Ear.” She whispers the last words to me.
“And let me guess, it’ll be you he finds happily ever after with, right?” I retort, my voice sugary sweet despite the ire bubbling beneath my surface.
“Eventually, once he’s done biding his time with bimbos like you,” she chuckles, eying me up and down. “You’re smart. I’ll give you that. But I’ve known him longer than anyone, and I’ve put in the time. His parents love me. I’m the only one he needs. He may not realize it yet, but he does love me—”
“Looks like you need to find something better to do with your time, doll,” I say rising from my seat and taking a step closer, fed up with her egocentric diatribe. “Waiting around to be second best must be really frustrating.”
“A little testy are we? Don’t shoot the messenger,” she patronizes, holding her hands up in front of her, “I just thought I’d save you the inevitable heartbreak.” The look on her face reflecting the exact opposite of her words.
I manage a single laugh. “Yeah, I can see the sincerity oozing out of your pores.” I roll my eyes. “Your compassion is just overwhelming.”
She purses her lips. “Us girls have to look out for one another.”
Now I really laugh. What a bitch! “Yeah, I’m sure you have my back!” Just with a knife pointing into it rather than your eyes looking out for it. “I appreciate the heads up, but I’m a big girl, Tawny. I can take care of myself just fine.”
She throws her head back and laughs loudly before eying me up and down again, a look of disdain on her face. “Oh, he is going to eat you alive and then spit you out, and I am so going to enjoy watching it!”
I see Colton complete his last lap and swing the car into the pits to the right of us. The boys will come looking for me any moment to go down and see the car, and frankly, I’ve had enough of Tawny’s little “let me put you in your place” tiff. I’ve tried to take the high road. I’ve tried to not be the catty bitch she’s being. But enough’s enough. I take one step closer to her, my voice a spiteful whisper. “You better get used to watching, Tawny, because that’s all you’ll be doing. When he cries out a name, it’ll be mine, sweetheart.” The corners of my mouth turn up, my voice implacable, “Not yours.”
“That’s what they’ve all thought!” she snorts derisively.
How I’d love to throttle her right now. Wipe that sarcastic smirk off of her face and show her she has no clue what she’s talking about. But I can’t. In the end, she may be right. And that kills me. Reminds me I need to keep my guard up. I give her the same, slow appraisal that she’s given me, and I shake my head in disinterest. “This conversation has been stimulating, Tawny, but I’m going to go spend time with people that are worth my breath.”
I rush down the stairs quickly, wanting to make sure that I get the last word in. At the bottom of the stairs, I walk toward where I can hear the engine of Colton’s car. As I turn the cor
ner, I see my boys following Davis down to the garage area of the speedway. I hurry to catch up, trying to let the anger and irritation from Tawny’s words dissipate.
I try to shrug it off and tell myself that she’s just a catty bitch trying to hold on to something that’s not hers. A drop-dead-gorgeous catty bitch, but a catty bitch nonetheless. I think the combination of her being his type and my fear that there is some truth to her words is what keeps the anger running through my system.
I catch up to the group just as we approach the garage where Colton’s crew has set up. The purr of the engine stops, and I see Colton hand the now-detached steering wheel to a crewmember before slowly pushing himself up from his capsule. He lifts one leg over the side and then the other to stand on the ground. He takes a moment to settle on his legs before removing his helmet and the white fireproof balaclava from his face. He accepts the Gatorade that someone hands him and takes a long pull on it before running a hand back and forth through his sweat-soaked hair. Colton gives the man who approaches him a huge grin and it takes me a moment to place him. He is the rakish gentleman who was at the Merit Rum party with him.
I stand back with the boys on the fringe and take in the flurry of activity in the garage. Several people are talking to Colton, who gesticulates with his hands to demonstrate what he is explaining. They converse with him in a casually comfortable way. No hint that he is the son of a mega-super director or that he’s one of Hollywood’s it bachelors. Other crewmembers are tending to the car, using instruments to measure things I can’t even begin to fathom. Colton is completely immersed in his element. It’s not hard to sense his enthusiasm and veneration for his sport.
His smile is wide and authentic, and I feel a pang deep down in my heart when I see it. If he is this passionate and his face lights up so easily with this sport that he obviously loves, I can’t help but wonder how he’ll be like when he finally finds and accepts love from someone. My heart twists at the notion that it won’t be with me. I push the errant thought from my head, but it stays at the edge of my conscious as I watch the fervent emotions play over his face.
The flurry dies down some as the crew moves on to their individual tasks. Several of the people that Colton is speaking to back off and busy themselves with something in the engine at the back of the car. It is just Colton and the man from the club, and I can see an easy camaraderie between the two of them as they talk.
Davis motions for the boys to come in closer and enter the garage and they quietly follow in line trying to stay out of the way. I remain rooted in my spot choosing to watch from afar. At a safe distance from his inexplicable hold on me. Colton notices the intrusion into the garage and looks up from his conversation, giving the boys a wide, unfiltered smile. He waits until they approach and speaks. “So what did you think, guys?”
All of them shout out words at once ranging from awesome to cool to unbelievable. He unzips his fire suit and pulls his arms out of the sleeves, letting them fall and hang below his waist. His shirt, darkened with sweat, clings to the defined muscles of his chest. The sight of him like this, sexy as hell, pulls at every part deep within me.
“I’m so glad you guys liked it! Now, this here,” he says putting his arm around the man from the club, “is one of the most important people out here. More important than me,” he kids. “None of this,” he gestures to the garage around them, “would run so smoothly if it weren’t for him. This is Beckett Daniels, my crew chief.”
The boys say individual hellos to him and he smiles back at them. Ricky throws out a question and Beckett smiles broadly, motioning the boys over to the car to look at something. Colton stays where he is and watches the boys follow. He rolls his shoulders and takes another long drink before looking up and around the garage. I feel that sudden crackle of electricity when his eyes meet mine, and that slow lazy grin turns up the corners of his mouth, his dimple deepening. He looks like sex; hot, sweaty, disheveled, and mouthwateringly irresistible. He looks back at Beckett to make sure that things are okay before sauntering over to me.
“Well, hello there.” I can’t help the smile that forms on my lips when I speak to him.
“Still think I’m faking it?”
“No,” I laugh freely as he stops in front of me.
“Well, as long as you’re not, then I’m doing my job correctly,” he quips suggestively reaching out a hand to tug on an errant curl.
I just shake my head at him with a soft smile on my face before taking a deep breath. Faking it is definitely a not a necessity when it comes to Colton in the bedroom. We stare at each other, the activity of the garage buzzing around us while we remain static. Entranced in one another.
“You looked good out there, Ace.” I finally manage to say, breaking our silence.
He takes another drink of his Gatorade. “You know nothing about racing, do you?” he laughs as I shake my head laughing with him. “Didn’t think so, but thanks for the compliment.”
“But I have watched it with my brother before, and the boys obviously were googling all about it to make sure they knew as much as possible,” I shrug, glancing over his shoulder to check on the kids. “So, Wood huh?”
He smiles shyly at me. “It’s not what you’re thinking. It’s an old nickname.” I raise eyebrows at him, amusement on my face. “When I first started racing, someone called me Hollywood. The name stuck. Has been shortened to Wood over time. Anyone who calls me it has been around a long time.” He looks back at Beckett for a beat, “Is someone I trust.”
“Don’t let the press get a hold of that or they’d have a field day with it.”
“Believe me, I know,” he laughs.
We both turn our heads as Shane’s laughter fills the garage. Beckett has his arm around his shoulder and is laughing with him while Davis is lifting Ricky into the seat of the car to sit for a picture. “Thank you so much, Colton. For making them feel special for a day.” He turns from watching the boys to look back at me. “For everything. I can’t begin to tell you how much it means to the boys.”
A dark look flashes across his face. “It’s not a big deal,” he shrugs it off, picking at the label on the Gatorade bottle. “I understand that need more than most.” He shifts his attention back to the boys who are alternately getting their chance to sit in the car and get their picture taken. We watch them for a few moments, Colton taking his hat off of his head and running his hands through his hair. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he looks at his watch and then turns his attention back to the boys.
Tawny’s words ring in my ears. Two months, tops. What if she’s right? Even if whatever we have lasts three or four months, I know it won’t be enough. I don’t think any amount of time will be enough to love someone like Colton. He is one of those guys who consumes every part of you. Makes you whole when you never thought you were incomplete to begin with. Gives you strength and makes you weak all at the same time. I know I am capable of loving him like that—like he deserves—but I know I will never get the chance. Tawny may be a catty bitch, but she knows him way better than I do. Between her words, Colton’s own admissions, my Google search, and my own intuition, I just know that I will end up being destroyed if I allow myself to fall in love with Colton. And I just can’t allow that to happen to myself. The rise might be more than fun, but the devastation after the fall will break me. In one way or another, Tawny’s gotten her point across.
Colton breaks through my thoughts. “We have a meeting in ten minutes,” he says turning to look at me. “Can you stay and then I’ll drive you home when it’s over?”
I twist the ring I’d put back on this morning around my finger—a tangible source of comfort to me—wanting desperately to say yes, but the mix of my responsibility with the boys and the self-preservation of my heart dictate a different response. “It’s probably not a good idea, Colton,” I shake my head, avoiding his gaze.
“For who?” he says turning and taking a step closer to me. His scent envelops me—the outdoorsy, clean scent of
his cologne mixed with a trace of a man who has put in a hard day’s work.
I eye him warily, trying to keep him at arm’s length emotionally. “For both of us, Colton. You said so yourself the other night.” He takes a step closer to me and I can feel my pulse surge.
“But maybe I think something different today …”
I sigh deeply, telling myself that nothing’s changed since Saturday night. He is who he is, and he’s not going to change. That a few days away from each other has just made him horny, and he wants some relief. That’s all this is. I push his last comment out of my head and try to carry on like he never said it. “Besides, I have to get the boys home. They’re my responsibility.”
He takes another step toward me, and I put my hands up on his chest to prevent him from getting any closer. I don’t think I’d be able to bear the feeling of his body pressed against me. My hands pressing against the firm muscles of his chest makes it hard enough for me to resist him as it is.
Colton takes a hand and lifts my chin up. “What’s wrong, Ry?” His eyes search mine, trying to understand my hesitancy. How can he understand why his idea of a relationship is unacceptable to me when he’s admitted it’s the only thing he knows or will accept? How do I explain that him pushing me away one minute and then kissing me senseless the next is unraveling my grip on my own reality? Is making me question what I might concede in order to have him in my life?
“You,” I whisper.
“Me?” he mouths.
“You confuse me at every turn, Colton.” I shake my head softly and despite telling myself that touching him will only make walking away that much harder, I lift my finger and trace the hem of the neckline on his damp shirt. “One minute you tell me you can’t stay away and the next you tell me you have to keep me at arm’s length because you’re going to hurt me. On Saturday you told me whatever is between us will never work unless I agree to your terms and then today you kiss me breathless.” I step back from him, looking over at the boys getting a tour of some of the items in the garage to avoid having to meet Colton’s gaze. “I can’t give you what you want and you can’t give me what I need. That’s all I know. All I understand, Colton.”